The Seventh Sense is Love
by Grey'sAddict97
Summary: A tragic event happened in Derek's life, which caused him to lose his sight. Can Meredith help Derek through this hard time?
1. Tall and Handsome Stranger

**As I've done similarly in my other fanfiction, I also found this one, and will be add my own personal touches as well. Moreover, I will be fixing grammar, changing names, among other things. All original materials and rights still are owned by _Derek&Meredithloveeachother._**

* * *

_Chapter 1: Tall and Handsome Stranger_

Meredith Grey was running late for her meeting with Richard Webber. She had no clue what the meeting was about. It was just a bad idea to be late when the Chief of Surgery had specifically asked you to attend. She rounded the corner on the surgical floor at a run and literally smacked into a hard wall of a chest and landed on her butt.

"Oh crap," she said from her place on the floor. She saw the contents of her purse all over the floor - along with two cups of spilled coffee.

The dark-haired man she'd run into was wearing dark sunglasses and standing very still. There was something about his still and quiet stance that made Meredith a little nervous. "I'm sorry I ran into you," she states quietly as she begins to put her stuff back in her purse.

He doesn't answer and she notices that his hands are tightly clenched in fists and his breathing is slightly erratic. "Are you all right?"

He still doesn't answer, and she stands up with her purse and steps toward him, "Sir, are you all right? Did I hurt you?"

"I'm fine," he answers shortly but still does not move an inch.

Meredith glances at her watch and mutters under her breath to realize she is now five minutes late for her meeting.

"What's wrong?"

She glances at the stranger - who is actually quite handsome. He's nearly a foot taller than her, has a trim but nicely built body and thick dark hair that needs to be trimmed but still looks nice on him. "I'm late for a meeting with one of my many bosses."

"Hence the running," he smiles and her breath hitches in her chest.

"Yes," she replies. "I'd offer to get you another coffee, but I really have to go."

"Okay," he replies, but still doesn't move a muscle.

"Are you here to visit someone?" Meredith asks. She has to go meet with Chief Webber but there's something about this stranger and his immobility that has piqued her curiosity.

"Yes. I'm visiting an old colleague and I'm probably late now, too. I was kind of turned around, trying to find my way when you barreled into me."

"Hey, I said I'm sorry," she protests and stops when she sees him grinning.

"You're a little obnoxious," she smiles.

"True," he agrees. "I'm Derek."

"I'm Meredith," she replies. "If you tell me the room number, you're looking for I'll point you in the right direction."

"Oh, I'm not visiting a patient. I'm looking for Richard Webber's office."

"The Chief?" Meredith asks in surprise. "You're meeting with the Chief of Surgery?"

"Yes. Why do you sound so surprised?"

"I'm meeting with him too. I didn't know anyone else was going to be there."

"Oh," Derek says sounding a bit puzzled now. "Neither did I."

Meredith gives Derek an odd look. He still hasn't moved an inch. This handsome stranger who claims he has a meeting with Chief Webber hasn't budged and she finds it very strange. "You said the Chief is an old colleague?"

"Yes. He's also an old friend and he was my mentor before I came to work here."

"What is your deal?" Meredith asks suspiciously.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm a third year Neurology Resident and I did my internship here at Seattle Grace. Which means I've been here for four years. You do not work here. So, what is your deal?" Meredith wonders if this handsome stranger who calls himself Derek needs a psych consult.

"You're right," Derek sighs. "I don't work here any longer, but I use to be the Head of Neurology here."

Meredith stares at him silently as she processes what he said. Then she carefully asks, "Are you Derek Shepherd?"

"Yes."

"Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't put the pieces together quicker. I don't know why I would though. You retired a few months before I started my internship. And since you were retired, I figured you were old, but you're not. You're young - well older than me, but still youngish and handsome. I was bummed because I was looking forward to working with you. I admired your work in Medical school and so did my mom actually. Oh god, I'm rambling like a star struck groupie. I'm sorry. Actually, I'm tired of apologizing to you, but still, I'm making a fool of myself, so I think I'll shut up now."

Derek is laughing and when he stops, he says, "My god you certainly do ramble. It's refreshing as hell, though. And besides," he grins, "you said I'm young and handsome."

Meredith giggles, "I give you a litany and that's the part you focus on?"

"Of course, I am a guy."

She giggles again, rolls her eyes and says, "You're kind of likeable, Dr. Shepherd."

"I'm a lot likeable and a minute ago I was Derek. Now, I'm Dr. Shepherd?"

"Yes. It's called respect."

"Respect aside - I don't work here so I insist that you call me Derek."

"All right," she sighs. "We are so late. Let's go meet Chief Webber."

"Okay," Derek answers. "Will you hand me my walking stick? I dropped it when you ran into me."

"Walking stick?" she asks in confusion.

"Meredith," Derek sighs sadly, "I'm blind."

* * *

**Please read and review?**


	2. Attraction

_Chapter 2: Attraction _

_I'm blind. _

Meredith couldn't stop thinking about her meeting with Derek Shepherd. She felt like a complete jackass. A dumb, insensitive jackass. She'd noticed the dark glasses, the fact that he was not moving and seemed slightly nervous.

_I'm a freaking doctor, she thinks. How did I not connect the dots? Oh yeah, I was busy picking my clumsy ass up off the floor and then flirting with him._

"Meredith, what's wrong?"

Meredith dropped her fork on her plate of uneaten salad. She'd been pushing it around and picking at it but not really eating while she beat herself up mentally. She looked at her little sister Lexie - who was an intern this year - and tried to smile but ended up heaving a huge sigh. "Do you remember studying neurology publishing's by Derek Shepherd in med school?"

Lexie looks at her sister like she's a little bit crazy and replies, "Of course, Meredith. He's brilliant, world renown and unfortunately retired. According to what we were told in school last year he retired unexpectedly and is now very reclusive."

"I imagine he would be," Meredith says - sounding a little sad.

"What does that mean?" Lexie questions. Her eyes widen a bit and she asked, "Meredith, what do you know?"

"Lexie, you cannot tell anyone what I'm about to tell you."

"Who would I tell? You're my best friend and the only person I really talk to around here."

"You're dating Alex - so I imagine you talk to him."

"All right smart-ass. Obviously, I talk to other people around here, but you're the only one I open-up to. And I told you - Alex and I aren't dating… we're just having sex."

Meredith scrunches her nose and sighs, which makes Lexie laugh. Then Meredith leans closer to her sister and whispers, "I met Derek Shepherd this morning."

"You met Der…" Lexie starts to yell but stops when Meredith kicks her under the table.

"I told you not to tell anyone and you're about to yell it to the entire cafeteria! This isn't high school, Lexie!"

"I'm sorry, Mer. I was just shocked. Why is it such a secret that you met him, though?"

"I was running late for a meeting with the Chief and I literally ran into Derek. I thought he was visiting a patient. I was flirting with him. He's younger than I thought. He's hot and I was flirting with him. He was actually going to the same meeting with the Chief. I was an insensitive jackass and I was flirting like a school girl. I suck."

"Meredith, lighten up on yourself," Lexie laughs. "So, you were flirting with a hot neurosurgeon - big deal."

"That part is mortifying…"

"Why?"

"Lexie, let me finish. I was distracted and I didn't notice, but that's not really an excuse." Meredith sighs again and whispers, "I suck because I didn't notice that he's blind. He had to tell me because I was too stupid to notice."

Lexie has a shocked expression on her face. Finally, she asks, "Are you kidding Meredith? Is this some kind of joke?"

"That'd be a pretty cruel joke, Lex."

"Oh my god."

"Please don't tell anyone, Lexie. I only told you because… well, I probably shouldn't have but I guess I needed to talk to you."

"Of course, I won't; but why was he here? Why were you two meeting with the Chief?"

"I have no idea," Meredith answers. "I had to go into surgery because of the pile up on the interstate."

"Oh. How did he handle you not realizing he's…"

"He said it was no big deal," Meredith interrupts. "He was funny and kind of arrogant, but in a good way. He told me he's a lot likeable."

"You like him."

"I don't know him."

"You so like him," Lexie insists.

"Lexie..."

"No, you do... You said he's hot, funny, good-arrogant and likeable. He's a rock star in our world and you're attracted to him."

"I have to go."

"Bye Mer."

"Bye Lex."

* * *

Derek was in a bad mood. He gave a short, humorless laugh and decided that 'bad mood' was a ridiculous understatement. He was furious: At the world in general; at himself and Richard Webber, specifically. It had been four days since his brief visit to Seattle Grace. During those four days the conversation with Richard kept swirling around in his head.

_"Come back to work, Derek."_

_"Sure" Derek replies sarcastically. "I'm sure people would be more-than-willing to have a blind surgeon cut them open."_

_"Obviously that's not what I meant," Richard sighs._

_"Then what do you mean?" Derek asks angrily._

_"This is still a teaching hospital, Derek. I want you to come back to work and teach. There's no one better than you - I don't think there ever will be."_

_"Kissing my ass isn't going to work. I'm not coming back - not while I'm still blind."_

_"You've been blind for over four years…"_

_"Thanks for the reminder."_

_"Derek," Richard sighs, "I understand that you're angry, but I'm offering…"_

_"Really?" Derek interrupts again. "You lost your sight, your career and your life as you knew it at thirty-three?"_

_Richard sighs again and says nothing._

_"There's no way you could possibly understand my anger or anything else about my situation! Don't insult me by offering me half a job!"_

_Derek got up and started to carefully move toward Richard's office door. He stopped when Richard said, "I want you to work with Meredith Grey."_

_Derek stood still for a few moments trying to process that tidbit of information. Unable to wrap his mind around how that could work - he sighed and left the office and Seattle Grace. Again._

So here he was - four days later and still playing that conversation in his head. The one he'd had in the hall with Meredith was also in his head. The two conversations were on constant repeat in his head. He'd felt an instant click with Meredith. She made him smile. He'd laughed at her rambling admiration. He'd been arrogant and he'd actually flirted with her. She'd made him feel like a normal man again.

Thinking about Meredith made Derek angrier. He'd felt something toward her - something normal. Something he'd almost forgotten - attraction. The attraction made him angry, but it also made him sad because he knew nothing could ever come of it.

Yet - he wondered. He wondered if he could somehow work as a doctor again. He wondered about Meredith and her adorable giggle. He wondered if it was possible to live a fulfilling life again.

* * *

**What are your thoughts?**


	3. Colleagues, Fellowships, and Shopping

_Chapter 3: Colleagues, Fellowships, and Shopping _

Meredith was scrubbing out after doing a craniotomy with one of her interns. She loved her job and enjoyed the teaching aspect of it. She still got a surgery high but lately her high was lower than it used to be. Maybe it was normal to have the passion for her career wane just a little bit. Maybe she wanted to feel passion for something other than her career. Or someone she thought as her mind drifted - yet again - to Derek Shepherd.

Meredith dried her hands and sighed loudly. Why couldn't she stop thinking about him? Since she'd collided with him a week ago, he'd been invading her thoughts regularly. She kept seeing his smile and hearing his arrogant tone of voice telling her he was a lot likeable. He was likeable and that was the problem. Meredith didn't want to like Derek. She'd made a second career out of keeping people - especially men - at arm's length. She hadn't ever wanted to give anyone the same dedication she gave medicine. She was completely aware of the fact - even though she tried to deny and ignore it - that this need to keep her distance made her very much like her mother… the great Ellis Grey.

Meredith didn't want to like Derek Shepherd because in those brief few minutes with him, she'd felt happier than she could remember feeling in a very long time. Naturally, this scared the living hell out of her. So, she figured she'd just forget about meeting Derek. And hope the Chief would forget that he'd wanted her in that meeting. Her mind was not agreeing to her plan, though. She kept thinking about him. And wondering how she could ask the Chief about the meeting without sounding interested in Derek.

Meredith sighed again as she reached the Resident locker room. What was she going to do? As much as she was afraid of it - Meredith Grey liked Derek Shepherd.

* * *

"You should take the Chief up on his offer and come back to work."

Derek finishes the bite of food in his mouth and then says, "Miranda, don't. Please don't… you know I can't go back to work at Seattle Grace."

"Actually, I don't know that at all. What I know is that the hospital hasn't been the same since you left. What I know is that the Chief, Sloan and I miss having you around there. What I know is that you're wasting your time playing as a fisherman when you're a brilliant doctor!"

"I was a Neurosurgeon Bailey," Derek snaps. "Was and surgeon, being the operative words."

"You only call me 'Bailey' when you're angry."

"I'm sorry Miranda," Derek sighs. "I don't mean to be an ass to you. It's just… Richard's offer is like a slap in the face. He's offering me a teaching position. It's like only being offered twenty-five percent of my life back. Can you please try to understand?"

Miranda Bailey looked at the man who had become one of her best friends over the past seven years. Her heart broke when she thought of all he'd lost - because it was so much more than just his sight and his career. All she wanted was for him to be truly happy again. She wasn't going to give up on this plan of Richard's because she believed it to be exactly what Derek needed in his life. She says, "Just think about it, Derek. Believe it or not - medicine is not the same without you. Plus, you're only living half-a-life out here in the woods."

"I live a full life, Miranda. Kathleen, David and the kids aren't far away. You, Mark and Richard come to visit. I come into the city with Kathleen sometimes. I enjoy fishing and my dog keeps me company every day."

"There's passion in that?" Miranda asks with just a little bite in her voice. "You sound like an old man."

Derek laughs and asks, "Don't you have surgery this afternoon? You are a busy General Attending."

"Yes, I have surgery in two hours with, Grey."

"Meredith?" Derek asks as a smile spreads involuntarily across his face.

This does not go unnoticed by Bailey. She smiles but manages to keep her voice neutral as she replies, "Actually, it's with Lexie Grey. She's Meredith's younger sister."

"Oh. Do you know Meredith well?"

Miranda fights the urge to bounce in her seat like an excited child as she answers, "She was one of my interns. I know she's a talented, dedicated and driven surgeon. She has what it takes to be one of the greats. Just like her mom."

"Her mom?"

"Ellis Grey."

"No shit?" Derek asks with admiration in his voice. "I never had the opportunity to work with Ellis Grey, but I definitely know of her. So, you think Meredith has what it takes to be great like her mom?"

"I do," Miranda answers. "The Chief thinks she'll be better than her mom."

"What? Why?" Derek asks, not even realizing that he's sitting up straighter and leaning forward with curiosity.

Miranda is barely holding her glee in at Derek's reaction to Meredith. She answers, "According to the Chief, Meredith has warmth and a bedside manner that her mom lacked. Plus, Meredith is proving to be a very good teacher. She's the best I've seen in a long time with her interns."

"Is she doing her Fellowship at Seattle Grace?"

"I don't know," Miranda frowns. "Neither does the Chief and frankly he's really antsy about it."

"Hmm," Derek sighs. "Will I see you next week for lunch?"

"Have I missed a week yet?"

"No," Derek laughs.

Miranda gets up and kisses Derek on the cheek. "Bye."

"Bye," he replies already lost in thought with the new information he just learned about Meredith.

* * *

"Hi Grey."

"Hi Yang," Meredith answers as she opens her locker to change out of her scrubs.

"Have you heard anything about your Fellowship?"

"No," Meredith answers as she tenses up slightly. "Have you?"

"No," Cristina Yang answers as she finishes dressing in her street clothes. "I'm getting kind of nervous about It. I guess it's still early, but I just expected to know by now."

"Oh yeah," Meredith sighs as she closes her locker and turns to leave. "Bye."

"What the hell is your problem?" Cristina snaps as she slams her locker shut.

"Excuse me?" Meredith asks in surprise as she turns back to her colleague.

"This is the fourth year we've worked together. There were six women when we started and only four of us are left. You've gone Neuro and I've gone Cardio - we are not in competition any longer. I thought maybe we could be friends now. Apparently, I was mistaken because you are the same driven and distant person you've always been!" Cristina stomps past Meredith to leave the locker room.

"I haven't applied for my Fellowship."

Cristina stops at the door at this quiet admission. Certain that she heard incorrectly, she turns back to look at Meredith. She says, "You mean you didn't apply here?"

Meredith shakes her head no. Cristina has definite surprise in her voice as she says, "You have got to be kidding me. You're brilliant… you applied to Cedar-Sinai and Johns Hopkins, right?"

"I haven't applied anywhere," Meredith states again. "Plus, I'm finding myself attracted to someone who is way out of my league, I'm not getting the same surgery high I use to and I have to go shopping for my nieces' fourth birthday. And I hate shopping."

Meredith sees the extreme look of shock on Cristina's face and sighs. She moves toward the locker room door and stops when Cristina answers, "I applied for my Fellowship practically everywhere, but I really want to stay here. The guy I've been dating wants to get married and I like medicine better than relationships. My mother's planning the wedding and I haven't even decided if I want to say yes or no. Want to get a drink at Joe's?"

Meredith turns and grins at Cristina, "You're as screwed as I am."

"Like I said, there's no competition between us."

"Let's go to Joe's."

* * *

Meredith did not want to be here. She'd rather be stuck in the pit doing rectal exams than getting ready to go into a mall to shop. Her niece was turning four years old and this was the first time Meredith hadn't been able to convince someone else to do the birthday or Christmas shopping for her. She groaned as she thought of her recent conversation with her sister:

"Molly, you have to shop for Laura's birthday anyway. I don't understand why this is a problem."

"Meredith," Molly laughed into the phone, "You always convince Lexie or I to shop for your gifts to Laura."

"Exactly. You and Lexie know what to pick for her, so she always likes her gift from me. I always pay for the gift - so I just don't understand the problem. It seems to me that we all win here. Especially, Laura because she isn't getting a lame gift from Aunt Meredith."

"Nice try, Mer. You're picking Laura's gift yourself this time."

"Why?"

Molly laughs again and replies, "You do realize you're whining just like Laura, right?"

"Is it working?"

"No. Go shopping for Laura, Mer. You'll enjoy it."

"I won't enjoy it, Molly. I hate shopping, I'm a busy surgeon. I don't have time to go to the mall!"

"Mer, Ethan's waking up from his nap. I have to go get him."

"Wait," Meredith says with panic in her voice. "At least tell me what to get for Laura. I'll shop damn it, just tell me what to buy."

Molly laughs again - even knowing that she shouldn't be enjoying her sisters unease at shopping for kids toys. She sighs and answers, "You won't go wrong if you get something 'Dora.'"

"What the hell is 'Dora'?"

"'Dora" is a cartoon character on Nickelodeon and Laura loves her. I really have to get Ethan… he's having a fit. Love you, Mer."

"Yeah, sure you do," Meredith mumbles irritably - even though Molly has already hung up. "You hate me, that's why you're torturing me with shopping for toys."

So, here she was at the mall, a few days after that conversation with Molly. She'd tried to convince Lexie to buy a 'Dora' something for Laura, but she'd said no, too. Apparently, both of her sisters were ganging up on her and forcing her to shop. It was a Tuesday morning so at least the mall - and more important the toy store - was not crowded at all. Meredith was a bit embarrassed to ask the salesperson for help, so she started walking around looking for the name 'Dora' on the boxes. She quickly realized that there was a lot of stuff with 'Dora' on the box. Crap, she thinks. Which damn 'Dora' thing do I pick?

Meredith is standing in front of a huge display filled with Dora dolls and products with Dora on them. There are Dora's swimming, Dora's skiing, Dora's with twin babies, Dora slippers, backpacks and games. It seems to Meredith that everything has Dora on it or is somehow related to Dora. How the hell is she supposed to know what to pick? She groans, hoping she doesn't have a nervous breakdown over Dora.

"Excuse me lady. Are you okay?"

Meredith jumps and looks down to see an adorable little boy, about six years old, with dark hair and brown eyes looking up at her. She looks around for a parent and sees a brunette woman at the end of the aisle. Meredith assumes that she's the boy's mom because - even though she's on her cell phone - she is watching the little boy very intently. Meredith smiles an acknowledgement to the woman and answers the little boy, "I'm okay, but there's a lot of Dora stuff here and I don't know which item to pick for my niece."

"Dora blows," the little boy says in disgust. "Diego's way better."

Meredith barely suppresses her giggle and asks, "Who's Diego?"

"Who's Diego?" the little boy asks in shock. "Diego is Dora's cousin and he goes on adventures to save animals. Hey," he says, sounding suspicious. "How do you know who Dora is, but not Diego?"

Meredith groans and pinches her arm, hoping this bizarre situation will turn out to be a nightmare. Nope, she's still standing in front of way too much Dora crap with the little boy now glaring at her like she's a Martian. Thankfully the brunette woman finally comes down the aisle. "Kevin, have you picked a gift for your sister yet?"

"No," the little boy mumbles. "Mom, Dora blows I want to get something Diego for Kayla."

"I'm so sorry," the woman says to Meredith. "Kevin, saying something 'blows' is really rude! Kayla likes Dora so you have to pick something she wants - not something you want." She looks at Meredith again and says, "I really am sorry - he's six and not really enjoying shopping for his sister's birthday."

Meredith grins, she just can't help it. "That's okay. I'm a lot older than him and I'm not enjoying shopping either. I pretty much agree with his sentiment about Dora right now."

The woman starts laughing and says, "I'm Kathleen."

"I'm Meredith."

"Are you shopping for your daughter?"

"No. I don't have children. I'm not married… well, I guess you don't have to be married to have children… but no. No children," she sighs. "I sound like a lame a…" she catches herself and says, "I'm trying to get a gift for my niece's birthday. I'm out of my element. My sister said get something Dora but failed to mention half the store would have Dora crap. Oops, sorry - I mean Dora stuff."

"Haven't you ever shopped for your niece before?"

"Nope," Meredith grins. "I always convince my sisters to do it, but for some reason they weren't letting me get away with that this year."

Kathleen laughs, "That is exactly what my brother used to do."

"Laura is turning four. Can you give me any suggestions of what to buy?"

"Kayla's turning four also. She wants a Dora scooter… here it is."

Meredith looks at the box and sees that it says 3 years and up. She looks at Kathleen and grins, "Thank you so much."

"Hey Kathleen?"

Meredith turns in shock toward the sound of the familiar voice.

"Oh crap," Kathleen mumbles. "I left my brother at the front of the store."

"Mom, you said a bad word and Uncle Derek is going to be mad at you. He didn't want to come with us anyway."

"He'll understand when we tell him we were helping Meredith pick a gift for her niece."

Kathleen grabs a Dora scooter for herself and then takes Kevin and quickly goes to the front of the store. Meredith goes slowly to the front. She's surprised to see Derek Shepherd in the doorway of the store. He's got an irritated scowl on his face while his sister is talking to him. Meredith doesn't blame him for being annoyed. She can understand why he wouldn't want to be left in a doorway in the mall. She feels bad - knowing she's the reason his sister and nephew were held up. Meredith pays for Laura's scooter and walks over to the trio.

"Hello."

Derek's head whips in her direction and he says in surprise, "Meredith."

"You two know one another?" Kathleen asks, also surprised.

"We met at the hospital when I went to see Richard two weeks ago," Derek answers.

"Really?"

"Yes really," Meredith answers. "Dr. Shepherd…"

"I told you to call me Derek."

"Okay fine… Derek. I'm sorry to have kept your sister and nephew. They were helping me pick a gift for my niece's birthday. I hate shopping."

"Me too," Derek scowls again. "Which is what I was just trying to tell my sister."

"I still have a few things to get for Kayla's birthday, Derek."

"Shopping blows," Derek grumbles.

"Derek!" Kathleen admonishes while Kevin asks, "Mom, how come Uncle Derek can say 'blows' but I can't?"

"Excuse me?" Meredith interrupts, trying not to laugh at the scene unfolding in front of her. "Dr. Sh… uh, I mean Derek. I still owe you a coffee from when I spilled yours all over the place."

"You do," Derek grins and Kathleen looks a little speculative.

"Would you like to go for coffee while Kathleen and Kevin finish shopping?"

"Sure," Derek grins.

"Thank you," Kathleen says with a relieved smile.

"No problem," Meredith says, feeling a nervous but excited flutter in her stomach. "Just meet us in the Starbucks right over there when you're done."

"Okay and thanks again Meredith," Kathleen says as she leaves with Kevin.

Derek grins in Meredith's direction. "You just asked me on a date. Right in front of my sister."

"I did not," Meredith sighs. "Your sister helped me out and I'm returning the favor."

"Keep telling yourself that," he teases.

Meredith smiles - a little nervous as her stomach does the nervous flutter thing again.


	4. Coffee Date

_Chapter 4: Coffee Date_

"What would you like?" Meredith asks Derek as they walk into Starbucks.

"The French Roast drip," Derek answers, feeling the slightest bit uncomfortable not knowing the floor layout.

"Are you okay?" Meredith asks as he stops walking along with her. Great, I'm an idiot, she thinks when she turns to see how tense he is suddenly. She goes to him and says quietly, "Derek, no one is sitting in here and there are only two people in line ordering. What's better for you? A table or the cushy chairs?"

"Definitely a table," he answers. "Preferably in an inconspicuous place if that's possible. "He feels relieved that Meredith understood what he needed without him having to spell it out to her.

Meredith takes a deep breath to control and push down the anger and sadness she suddenly feels at Derek's statement. She wonders what kind of greater being or whatever would allow Derek to feel like he had to ask for an inconspicuous place to drink a coffee. She wasn't going to think about that now but knew for certain she'd dwell on it later. "I'm going to take your arm now. Is that okay?"

"Of course," Derek says with a grin as he offers her the crook of his elbow. "I knew you couldn't resist touching me for long."

"Shut up, "Meredith says but smiles and rolls her eyes as she slides her hand into his arm to lead him to a table.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

"How the hell did you know that?"

"I'm magic," Derek jokes as he allows Meredith to help him sit down. To his surprise he isn't feeling at all awkward having her assist him.

"What you are - is full of crap," she says with another roll of her eyes. "I'll be right back."

Derek grins as Meredith walks away. He wonders what it is about her that makes being around her so easy. He finds himself hoping that Kathleen and Kevin take a long-time shopping.

"Okay, here you go," Meredith says as she sits down and places his coffee in his hand."

"Thank you," Derek says. He is amazed that she thought to make sure he knew where the coffee was located. He didn't have to grope around for it - which was a nice change.

"You're welcome," she answers. "Do you want cream or sugar for it?"

"No thanks," he answers with a grimace.

Meredith laughs at his expression and says, "Okay, strong black coffee - I'll remember that."

"Really?" Derek asks - grinning. "So, you're already admitting we'll have a second date."

Meredith gives a little laugh to acknowledge hearing him and takes a drink of her coffee.

"Did you roll your eyes again?"

"No," she answers. "Just drinking my coffee."

"What did you get?"

"A white chocolate mocha."

"That's disgusting."

"Have you had it?"

"No, but it sounds disgusting. 'White chocolate' tells me it's sweet and it's probably full of milk.

What's the point of ordering coffee - if most of what's in the cup is sugar and milk?"

Meredith laughs, "That's way too much of an analysis for a cup of coffee."

Derek just smiles at her in response. They are both quiet for a bit as they drink some of their coffee. After a minute or so Derek asks, "Why did you choose Neurology as your specialty?"

Meredith is quiet as she fiddles with her coffee cup, glancing at Derek and contemplating whether or not to tell him the truth.

"You don't have to tell me," he states.

"I usually just tell people it's the field that interests me the most."

"And while that would be reason enough - there's more to it for you."

"Yes," she answers. Then continues with a tiny bit of hesitation in her voice, "I chose Neurology for two reasons and both have to do with my Mom."

"Miranda told me your mom is Ellis Grey."

"Miranda?" Meredith asks, confused. "Do you mean Miranda Bailey?"

"Yes," Derek answers with a laugh. "We've known one another since I came to Seattle seven years ago. I annoyed the crap out of her when we first met, but I guess I grew on her…"

"Like fungus?"

"Hey," Derek says with a grin, "That's not nice. Probably accurate, but not nice."

"Poor baby," Meredith replies with a giggle. "Go on."

"Anyway, Miranda is one of my closest friends. She's one of a few people who…" he trails off - surprised at how easy it is to talk to Meredith.

"Who stuck by you?"

"Yeah," he answers with a sigh. "Anyway, Miranda was bugging me to take the job Richard offered and said she had surgery with 'Grey'. I thought she meant you. However, she meant your sister."

"The Chief offered you a job?"

You sound surprised," Derek says.

"I am. Is that what the meeting was about that day?"

"Yes. Haven't you discussed anything with him?"

"No," Meredith answers, confused. "Why would I have anything to do with the Chief offering you a job?"

"He wants you and I to work together."

"What?" Meredith asks in shock.

"Don't worry," Derek laughs, "I turned him down. You don't have to work with me."

"I'd be honored to work with you," Meredith states honestly and without hesitation. "You're the best."

"Thank you," Derek says, feeling humbled. "Why Neurology?"

"My Mom had Alzheimer's," Meredith answers. "She's gone now, but seeing what she went through…"

"I'm sorry," Derek says, reaching his hand across the table palm up.

Meredith sees this and to her own surprise slips her hand in his and allows the comforting contact. "It's okay," she says. "My parents and my step mom are all gone but I've made my peace with it. Plus, I'm close with my sisters - so that helps."

"Yeah, sisters do help. What's your second reason for choosing Neuro?"

Meredith laughs and says, "You don't miss much. My mom was a general surgeon. I didn't want to do what she did. I want to create my own path and stop living in her shadow."

"I get that."

"You do?"

"Of course. I think all children of powerful, successful parents get that."

"Yeah, maybe." Meredith pulls her hand gently from Derek's and asks, "So, what do you do now?"

"I fish," Derek says with a smile.

"You fish? For a living?"

"There's that surprised tone again," Derek says. "Yes, I fish for a living. I have to do something, or I'll go crazy. Fishing was always something I enjoyed and it's something I can still do on my own. I fish for trout out on my land four mornings a week. Someone from the fish market comes out and buys the fresh fish each morning and I get a check every two weeks. It works out well and I feel like I'm still productive."

Meredith let's Derek's story swirl around in her mind as she quietly studies him. She doesn't know what to say because she doesn't want to sound condescending.

"Meredith…" Derek says, sounding the slightest bit insecure.

Without thinking she quickly grabs his hand again. She says, "Derek, I really hope I don't sound condescending, but you amaze me."

"There's nothing amazing…"

She squeezes his hand and states emphatically, "Yes, you're amazing Derek. I'm not kissing your ass, either. I'm being honest. If I lost my sight - I wouldn't handle it well. I'd most likely shut everyone out of my life and throw myself a pity party with many bottles of tequila. I certainly wouldn't find a way to create a new and rewarding life for myself. So, I'm impressed, okay?"

"I'm telling you - there's nothing to be impressed about. I drove people away and had a pity party, too. I was a real bastard."

"You came back from that," Meredith insists. "I'm telling you, I probably wouldn't."

"Okay," Derek gives a huge sigh. "Let's talk about something else. What's your favorite ice cream?"

Meredith giggles and says, "Mint chocolate chip. What's your favorite movie?"

"'Die Hard.' What's yours?"

"'Four Weddings and a Funeral."

"Of course, a chick flick."

"Of course, yours was a blow-everything-up, bloody guy movie."

"That's better than a movie that's so boring you want to poke your own eyes out as a distraction."

Meredith laughs and asks, "What's your favorite dinner?"

"Steak, salad and wine."

"Okay, I can agree with that."

"Good, that's what we'll have when you come out to dinner with me."

"What?" Meredith laughs again. "I don't recall agreeing to dinner with you."

"Why wouldn't you agree to dinner with me?"

"You are incredibly arrogant."

"That's not an answer," Derek says.

"You haven't asked me a question that deserves a proper answer."

"Fine," Derek sighs. "Meredith, would you like to have dinner with me?"

"That's better," she teases.

"That's not a proper answer," he chides.

"Yes," she giggles. "How's Friday night?"

"That works for me," he answers with a grin.

They finish their coffee, exchange phone numbers and talk some more until Kathleen and Kevin arrive. They all talk for a few minutes more and then go their separate ways. For the first time ever, Meredith is happy that she had to go shopping. She decides she'll have to thank Molly and Lexie for forcing her to go, but not today.


	5. Wanting to Get to Know Each Other

_Chapter 5: Wanting to Get to Know Each Other_

Meredith and Lexie are sitting in the hospital cafeteria having lunch. Meredith knows that Lexie is talking to her and she should be paying attention, but she can't seem to focus. Her mind keeps drifting to Derek. Their coffee 'date' had been two days ago. Which means their real date is tomorrow night. She was still surprised that she'd agreed to dinner with him. It wasn't her. Meredith Grey did not date. She didn't have time or want to make time for dating. Yet, she had a date with Derek Shepherd the following evening and she felt like a giddy school girl.

"Meredith!" Lexie says loudly.

"I'm sorry, Lex," Meredith says after jumping out of her skin and focusing on Lexie again. "I'm distracted and not trying to ignore you."

"Are you still mad that Molly and I made you shop for Laura?" Lexie asks with a sigh.

"No," Meredith answers with an involuntary grin.

"You're smiling… about shopping," Lexie says and narrows her eyes at her sister. "What are you not telling me?"

"Nothing," Meredith answers with a giggle.

"Meredith Grey, you are lying!"

"Okay, you're right," Meredith says with a grin. "I'm not telling you something. Since you and Molly tried to torture me with shopping, I'm going to make you wait to know what I'm distracted about."

"That's mean," Lexie says with a gasp.

"It wasn't mean of you and Molly to force me into a mall?"

"That's different!"

"It's not different at all. Now, tell me what you were just saying. I'm paying attention now."

"Will you tell us what's up with you at dinner tonight with Molly?"

"Yes."

"Good. I was complaining to you about Dr. Yang. She rides my ass all the time."

"Lexie, Cristina is your Resident - she's doing her job by riding your ass."

Lexie's mouth falls open in surprise. "You just called Dr. Yang by her first name. You never do that, Meredith. What is going on with you?"

Meredith shrugs and smiles, "Cristina and I are sort of becoming friends. We went to Joe's last week and ate lunch together yesterday. She's sarcastic, funny, smart and a little bitchy. I'm a little sorry I haven't been friendlier over the past couple of years."

"Wow," Lexie states with a small smile. "I'm proud of you for opening up, but I feel a little strange about my sister and my resident becoming friends."

"Don't worry Lex," Meredith says with a straight face. "It won't cause a conflict of interest."

"Shut up," Lexie says with a giggle. "So, is your blossoming friendship with Cristina what you're all smiley and distracted about?"

"Nice try," Meredith says with a smile as she thinks of Derek again, "But no. I'm not telling you until dinner with Molly."

"Fine."

The sisters finish their lunch and then go back to work - Lexie to the clinic and Meredith into surgery.

* * *

"Derek?"

"Yeah?" Derek turns in the direction of his office and his sisters voice.

"Are you actually whistling?"

"Yeah, I guess I am," Derek says with a smile. "Sorry, was it distracting you?"

"No," Kathleen answers. "I'm just surprised to hear it."

"Oh. I guess I haven't been myself for a long time. Thanks for sticking by me even when I've been a complete ass, Kathleen." Derek opens his arms and hears his sister's surprised gasp. He smiles as he listens to her move quickly across the room and into his arms. Derek gives his sister a big hug and kisses her on the forehead and says, "I love you."

"I love you too Derek," Kathleen answers as her voice cracks.

"Are you crying?" Derek asks with a grin on his face.

"Yes, a little, you brat," Kathleen replies. "For the record, you've had every right to be an ass."

"I've had some right," Derek says as he goes to sit on his couch, "But not every right. I should've been a lot nicer to you and David. Mark, Miranda and Richard, too. You're the ones that stuck by me. Jesus Kathleen, you and David even uprooted your kids and your lives to come out here and help me. Instead of being grateful - I've been a real pain in the ass."

"I won't pretend it's always been easy Derek, but you need us," Kathleen states as she sits next to her brother. "Plus, moving here turned out to be a really good thing for David and I."

"What do you mean?"

Kathleen sighs and then says, "We were having problems and we both believe that moving here to Seattle probably saved our marriage."

"I'm sorry Kathleen - I didn't know…"

"No one did, Derek. I didn't tell you because you had more than enough to adjust to with losing your sight, not being able to work, and Addison…"

"I don't want to talk about Addison."

Kathleen sighs again then says, "Are you ever going to talk about her?"

"What's the point?"

"Derek?"

"Kathleen - I'm in a good mood. I really don't want to discuss Addison. Okay?"

"All right," Kathleen agrees with a sigh. Then she carefully asks, "Does your good mood have something to do with possibly going back to work at Seattle Grace?"

"What?" Derek asks - surprise in his voice. "No. I told you that I turned Richard down."

"I'm glad you're happier Derek - but what is going on? You've been increasingly better since…" her voice trails off and she looks at her brother to see him smiling happily. Kathleen asks, "Did you say that you met Meredith the same day you went to meet with Richard?"

"Yes."

"Derek, is Meredith the reason you're whistling?"

"Yep," he says, grinning again. "Meredith and I are having dinner together tomorrow night."

"Really? That's kind of fast."

Derek sighs, "Kathleen, you're my sister and you've been here for me the past few years, so I get why you'd say that, but you don't have to worry."

"Of course, I'm going to worry. After everything that you've been through…"

"Kath, I like Meredith. She's smart, she's funny, and she smells good. I didn't have to grope around for my coffee because she put it directly into my hand without being asked. I want to get to know her. Let that be enough for now and don't worry about me."

Kathleen doesn't reply as she studies her brother. He's very calm, but he has the stubborn Shepherd expression on his face. Much the way he had when he decided he wanted to fish because he missed having work to do. He'd been right about that - she could only hope his instincts were right about Meredith. God knows he deserves the happiness.

"Did you just say Meredith smells good?" Kathleen asks with a small laugh.

"Yes," Derek answers with a smile - glad that his sister wasn't going to give him a hard time right now.

Kathleen leans over and kisses her brother on the cheek, gets off the couch, and heads toward his kitchen. "I'm done balancing your books. Do you have everything you need to cook tomorrow night, or do we need a trip to the grocery store?"

"We need a trip to the store," Derek answers as he gets up to follow his sister - whistling.


	6. Dinner and Canceling Unexpectedly

_Chapter 6: Dinner with the Sisters and Canceling Unexpectedly_

Meredith is about to go into Molly's house for dinner when her phone rings. She reaches to silence the call and smiles when the display reads Derek.

She gets an immediate smile on her face as she answers

"Hello Derek."

"Hi Meredith. How are you?"

"I'm good - about to have dinner with my sisters. It's something we do once a week. How are you?"

"I'm good but I won't keep you. I just want to confirm…"

"Tomorrow night?" she interrupts.

"Yeah," he smiles. "Do you mind coming here and I'll cook for you?"

"I don't mind at all. I assumed that'd be easiest."

"I just wanted to make sure… my house is a little remote and I thought I should at least tell you."

Meredith laughs and teases, "Don't worry about it. You know the Chief and Bailey - they're good references."

"Don't forget Mark," Derek laughs.

"Mark?"

"Mark Sloan, he's been my best friend since grade school."

"Mark Sloan, Head of Plastics at Seattle Grace, is your best friend?"

Derek laughs again, "There's your surprised tone of voice again. Yes, that Mark is my best friend."

"He's not a good reference, Derek."

"Is he the deal breaker?"

"No," Meredith giggles.

"Good," Derek grins. "Have a nice dinner with your sisters. You can call me later for directions."

"It'll probably be late by the time I'm done here and get home."

"That's okay. We can lay in our beds and talk each other to sleep."

"That sounds vaguely dirty."

"Does it?"

"Bye Derek," Meredith says with a giggle.

"Bye Meredith."

* * *

Meredith was angry. She yanked open her locker and pulled out her street clothes to change as she sighed loudly - in complete frustration. There had been a huge accident at a downtown construction site. Meredith had been called into surgery and therefore forced to cancel her dinner date with Derek. She hadn't even been able to talk to him as she'd gotten his voicemail when she had called to let him know. She'd really been looking forward to their date, too. Which really said something because Meredith didn't normally bother with dating.

Meredith pulled her purse out of her locker after putting her boots on and turned to leave the locker room. She turned her phone on and discovered that she had three messages. One each from Molly and Lexie wanting to know about her date and telling her to call when she got home. Well, she wouldn't have anything to tell them. The third message was from Derek.

_Hi Meredith - Thanks for letting me know you're in surgery. I remember many unexpected accidents that forced me to cancel plans. Come over and eat when you're done… you'll be hungry. Well, unless it's three in the morning. If it's that late call me tomorrow. Okay, bye._

Meredith's stomach growls as if on cue. She saves Derek's message and looks to see that it's 10:00. She hesitates before calling him. What if he's sleeping? She reasons that 10 isn't all that late and he did say to come over. She dials his number and he answers on the fourth ring.

_"Hi Meredith."_

_"Hi Derek. I know you said to come over, but it's 10.."_

_"Meredith," Derek interrupts, "Come over."_

_"Okay," she smiles. "Hey Derek?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"How did you know it was me on the phone?"_

_"My phone has a voice feature. If the call is from someone on my contact list it'll say: Call from Meredith. If the person isn't on my contact list, it says: Unknown call from whatever phone number."_

_"Oh. That's a cool feature. I'll see you soon."_

_Derek laughs and says, "Okay. Drive safe, Mer."_

_"I will - bye."_

_"Bye."_

Meredith was smiling as she walked to her car. Derek had called her Mer and her stomach did a little flip. Except for her sisters she didn't allow anyone to shorten her name like that, but she liked hearing it from Derek. It felt like an intimate caress. Meredith laughs at herself as she wonders if she needs a vacation. Since when does she get all warm and gooey over the sound of a man's voice saying something as simple as her name? She heard the little voice in her head whispering that Derek Shepherd wasn't just any man.

Derek smiles as he hangs up with Meredith and goes to the kitchen to toss their salad. He'd told her how he had known it was her calling and she'd said cool and let it go. She'd asked a simple question, gotten her answer, and moved on without making a fuss about anything. Derek thoroughly appreciates the fact that Meredith is so calm about, and willing to take his blindness in stride. He feels pretty certain most women wouldn't be able to handle his situation. He heard the little voice in his head saying that Meredith Grey is definitely not like most women.

* * *

**So, what are you guys thinking of this story so far?**


	7. Second First Date

_Chapter 7: Second First Date_

Derek hears Meredith's car in his driveway thirty minutes later. He smiles as he pours her a glass of wine and takes it with him to open the front door.

Meredith is walking up to Derek's front door when it opens and startles her a bit.

"Hi Meredith," Derek says with a smile. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay," she answers as she stops in front of him. Then asks, "How did you know I was here?"

"I heard you pull into the driveway."

"Oh," she says, feeling a little stupid.

Derek smiles at her again, holds out the wine to her and says, "Come in, have a glass of wine."

Meredith steps inside the front door and reaches to take the wine at the same time. Their fingers brush against one another and she feels a little jolt of awareness. "Wine at the front door?" She takes a sip, sighs in pleasure and says, "I could kiss you right now."

Derek grins at her as he shuts the door and replies, "You could. I'm all for kissing."

Meredith giggles and without really thinking about it, places her right hand on his shoulder and stands on her tiptoes to place a quick kiss on Derek's lips. Again, she feels the jolt of electrical awareness and pulls back quickly.

Just as quickly Derek reaches up and holds her hand in place on his shoulder. "Meredith?"

"What?" she whispers, anticipation coiling in her stomach.

"I'm going to kiss you now."

"Okay."

He reaches out and puts his hands gently on her cheeks and tilts her face up toward his. Derek rubs his thumbs along her cheekbones, feeling the softness of her skin.

Meredith glances at his mouth and involuntarily licks her lips. The feel of his hands caressing her face sends her heart accelerating. She leans into him a little, wanting to feel his mouth on hers again. Now.

Derek feels her move and meets her halfway. Their lips connect and they both feel a sense of excitement and completeness. Their brains go hazy as they part their lips at the same moment and feel the silky slide of tongue against tongue for the first time. Derek groans and pulls her body up against his while Meredith wraps her right arm tightly around his neck; careful not to spill the glass of wine still in her left hand.

They have no idea how much time passes as they stand in the foyer of Derek's house - body pressed against body, kissing ravenously. An intense burning in her lungs - signifying a need for copious amounts of oxygen - is what finally pulls Meredith from Derek's arms. She backs away slightly, both of them taking in deep breaths of air. Meredith leans on the wall across from Derek and notes that he is as visibly stirred as she feels. His skin is flushed, and he has an obvious erection. She grins, feeling proud of herself for some crazy reason. She takes two healthy gulps of the wine she still holds and then clears her throat.

Derek grins at her and then takes a long deep breath and lets it out slowly. Then he holds out a hand to her and asks, "Are you hungry?"

"More than I realized," she answers as she slips her hand into his.

He chuckles as he leads her to the kitchen. "Is it me just having a dirty mind or was there a double meaning in that answer?"

"Definitely a double meaning," she giggles. "What exactly is on your dirty mind?"

"If you actually want to eat dinner - I can't answer that."

"Okay," she giggles again. "What can I do to help?"

"Nothing," he answers as he ignites the grill on his stove top. "I just have to grill the steaks. Everything else is ready."

She sits at the island and watches as he moves about his kitchen in a very efficient and concise manner. She's amazed at how effortless he makes cooking look considering he can't see what he's doing. She doesn't want to be insulting though, so she keeps her thoughts to herself.

"Tell me about your day," he says as he flips their steak and sprinkles pepper on them.

She pulls her eyes away from his hands and replies, "It was filled with paperwork and clinic duty until the accident from downtown filled the E.R."

"In other words, it was boring until you had surgery."

Meredith laughs and says, "Yeah, pretty much. Except that I was mad at the timing of the unexpected surgery because I didn't want to cancel our date."

"Really?" he asks with a grin as he plates their food.

"Yes, really."

"Well, then I guess it's all right to tell you I'm glad it was only postponed and not really cancelled."

She grins hugely at his statement. "Do you mind if I pour some more wine?"

"Of course not."

"Do you want some?"

"Yes."

Meredith pours their wine as Derek takes their food to the table and sits down. She's pleasantly surprised at how comfortable she feels with him. She feels a punch of lust in her stomach as she looks at him and decides that the sexual attraction is a wonderful bonus. "Here you go," she says, leaning across him to place his wine glass on the upper right of his plate.

"Your hair is long," Derek says as he feels it brush his face when she leans across him with his wine.

"What?" Meredith asks, sounding a little baffled. Then she realizes her hair touched him and she says, "Oh, yeah, it is." She stays beside his chair and says quietly, "Derek, I'm sorry if I seem insensitive…"

"You don't," he interrupts, sounding slightly tense. "It was just an observation." He sighs heavily and continues, "Meredith, this… dating, I mean - it's the first time since…"

When he doesn't continue Meredith asks quietly, "The first time since you lost your sight?"

"Yes," he answers, sounding a little vulnerable.

Meredith's heart clenches for him. She squats down next to his chair and takes his hand in hers. She places his hand on the back of her head, let's go and whispers, "It's blonde and most of the time it's in a pony tail at the hospital."

Derek turns his face toward Meredith. He slowly runs his hand down her hair, letting it fall between his fingers. When he reaches the ends of it - in the middle of her back - he grasps a handful and pulls it forward. He leans down and smells her hair and Meredith feels tears burn her eyes as her heart clenches again. She leans closer to him but doesn't say anything. By now their faces are merely an inch apart. Derek whispers, "Your hair is soft, and it smells good."

Meredith doesn't have a clue what to say so she closes the space between them and kisses him softly. He kisses her back and continues to run his fingers down and through her hair. This kiss is completely different than the passionate one at the front door. This kiss is soft, slow and vulnerable. This kiss leaves Meredith shaken as Derek pulls away. He places his hand on the side of her face, smiles and states, "Our food is getting cold."

Meredith laughs as the intensity of the moment is broken. She turns her face and kisses his palm then sits down across from him to eat. She cuts a bite of steak, eats it then says, "This is fantastic."

"Of course, it is," Derek replies cockily as he sets down his wine glass and cuts his own bite of food.

Meredith rolls her eyes and laughs. They eat their food. They make a little small talk but mostly they're both thinking about what is happening between them. They're both a little scared, but neither is willing to walk away. They want to see where this could go between them.

After they finish eating, clearing the table and cleaning up Derek asks, "Do you want more wine?"

"I've already had two glasses."

"So."

"So, I better not because I already feel a little light-headed and I have to drive home soon."

"Or you could stay."

"Not yet Derek," she says gently.

"Okay," he grins, "But you don't have to go yet."

"I don't," she answers as she sits on his couch.

Derek grins and goes to sit next to her. "When is Laura's birthday party?"

"It's tomorrow," Meredith groans. "When is Kayla's?"

"Next Saturday," he laughs. "You don't sound enthused about it."

"I love my niece, but they're having her party at Chuck E. Cheese's. Do you have any idea how much the thought of a place full of screaming kids terrifies me?"

Derek cringes, "To be honest, that place would be my nightmare come true."

"Exactly. Is it completely awful that I keep hoping for an unexpected surgery tomorrow at noon?"

"Maybe a little awful," he laughs and reaches out to touch her. "I won't tell anyone though, because I'd be hoping for the same."

Meredith laughs and leans to quickly kiss him again. What she means to be a quick kiss turns long and hot as Derek pulls her tightly to him and crushes his mouth to hers. God, she thinks, how can we be so into each other so fast?

That's her last coherent thought because Derek slips his hands under her shirt and along her stomach. He moves his lips down her neck placing hot little kisses in random places.

Meredith presses her body closer to his and revels in the hardness of his body as she runs her fingers along his shoulders and down his back.

"I know you said not yet," Derek rasps as he begins unbuttoning her shirt.

"I did," Meredith moans, "Don't stop yet."

He pulls her onto his lap so she's now straddling him and furiously finishes unbuttoning her shirt. She thinks she hears a button ping on the floor but can't, be sure as she presses hard into him and feels his erection against her. Derek opens the front clasp of her bra and takes her breast into his hand. She moans at the feel of his surprisingly calloused fingers grazing her nipple. She grinds her hips harder into him causing him to groan and lean forward to replace his fingers with his lips.

"Oh God," she sighs as she runs her fingers through his soft black hair.

"Oh shit," Derek mumbles as he lifts his head from her breast and moves his hands to still her hips.

"What's wrong?" she asks, feeling confused.

"Isn't that your pager?"

"What?" she asks again, trying to focus. She hears the insistent beeping and echoes his sentiment, "Shit."

She moves off of his lap and gets her pager from her purse. "It's the hospital," she says as she straightens her shirt and leans down to get her cell phone. She dials quickly and discovers that one of her patient's needs emergency surgery and no one else is available to do it.

"I'm thirty minutes away," she says into the phone. "Can you get everything prepped so I can scrub-in and start immediately?"

She listens says thank you and hangs up. Then says, "I'm so sorry, Derek."

"Don't be," he says, getting up to walk her to the door. "Remember, I know what to expect."

"Thank you for tonight," she says.

"You're welcome."

She gives him a quick kiss and asks, "Can I call you tomorrow?"

"Of course," he grins. "Make sure you get some sleep first."

"I will. Bye Derek."

"Bye Meredith."

He stays in the doorway until he hears her car pulling away. He shuts the door with a smile on his face. He has no idea where this is going with Meredith, but he has every intention of finding out. It's absolutely wonderful to feel like there's something to look forward to again.


	8. Intensifying Feelings

_Chapter 8: Intensifying Feelings_

Meredith falls onto the little bed in the on-call room - expecting to fall asleep immediately. Ten minutes later she sighs loudly, adjusts the pillow and rolls to her side. She is too exhausted to risk driving herself home, but her mind isn't allowing her to sleep.

Meredith closes her eyes and allows her mind to wander to thoughts of Derek. It has been seven hours since she left his house so abruptly. She'd gone straight into surgery when she arrived at the hospital. Her patient was okay, and it appears that he is going to make it. Since the emergency surgery, one thing after another had needed her attention. Now, she's been awake for thirty-six hours straight. She has the next thirty hours off - and she has to be at Laura's birthday party in five hours, so she really needs some sleep first. The thing is she keeps feeling Derek's touch on her hair. She has already admitted to herself that she is very attracted to him, but she is amazed at how comfortable she has become with him in such a tiny amount of time. It's true that she likes his sense of humor, his intelligence, and his confident arrogance. And obviously she's physically attracted to him - she remembers their hot and heavy make out session. It's Derek's acceptance of his own vulnerability that really reaches inside Meredith and touches her heart - making her feel things she can't define. When he'd run his hand down her hair the night before and really examined it through touch, she had felt close to tears. It had felt like an important moment to her.

She wants to call and talk to Derek but it's too early in the morning. She sets the alarm on her phone to go off in four hours then closes her eyes again. Finally, she feels herself drifting toward sleep.

* * *

Mark Sloan looks at the man who has been his best friend for nearly all his life, and wonders what is going on with him. This man fishing with him is relaxed in a way he hasn't been for far too long. Finally, Mark says to Derek, "You seem different this morning."

"Different?" Derek asks, laughing.

"Yes, different," Mark says, sounding a little embarrassed. "Don't make me sound like an ass doing psycho-babble. Just tell me what's up with you."

Derek grins in his friend's direction and states, "I had a date last night."

Mark's head jerks in Derek's direction. He knows that having a date is a big thing for Derek. He keeps the surprise out of his voice as he says, "Yeah right, I didn't set you up with anyone."

"I don't recall ever needing your assistance with women," Derek laughs.

"Oh yeah? What about Carly Bishop?"

"I said 'women,' not my first crush in sixth grade."

"You still needed my help with her. I asked her to the movies for you," Mark insisted.

"True," Derek states, "But I seem to recall that you liked her best friend, Denise Branson and I asked her out for you."

"That's true," Mark laughs. "So, who was your date?"

"Actually," Derek grins, "She knows you."

"Really?" Mark asks, intrigued and puzzled at the same time.

"Yeah, she works at the hospital. I met her a couple of weeks ago when I went for my meeting with Richard. Meredith came here for dinner last night."

"Meredith?" Mark asks in surprise. "Grey? You met Meredith Grey at the hospital? And she agreed to come here for a date with you?"

Derek reels in his line, sets his fishing pole on the ground and turns to Mark with a frown on his face. He sounds irritated when he states, "You don't have to sound so surprised. Unless she's one of your conquests." The last statement makes Derek's stomach twist in a knot.

"No! No, it's nothing like that," Mark states emphatically. "I'm just surprised because the image I have of Grey is 'all work and no play.' She's a Neurology Resident and she's tough-as-nails. She's an amazing doctor and really beautiful but she's also a bit cold."

"What do you mean cold?" Derek asks as his body remembers the feel of her pressed against him - hot and pliant.

"She's a bit stand-offish. She doesn't flirt or get personal with anyone at the hospital, as far as I know."

"That sounds professional, not cold," Derek defends.

"Maybe," Mark relents. Then he says speculatively, "You like her."

"Yes, I do," Derek says with a smile as he picks up his fishing pole and casts the line back into the water. "She's smart, funny and not put-off by me being blind. I hope I'll be spending a lot more time with her."

Mark decides that he needs to be nicer to Meredith Grey. He doesn't know this woman Derek is describing, but since she's making his best friend smile and talk about dating - she's okay by him.

* * *

All Meredith wants to do is go home. She wants to go to her small apartment, crawl into her warm bed and call Derek. She's had more than enough of screaming, running children at Chuck E. Cheese's.

"Meredith," Molly says as she sits down next to her sister. "You did great with the Dora scooter."

"I did," she grins.

Lexie sits down on the other side of Meredith and groans, "Molly, when are they going to settle down?"

"When they fall asleep in the car, on the way home," she laughs in response.

"Oh god," Lexie groans again. "Meredith, how was your date with Derek?"

"It was great," Meredith smiles and feels her cheeks warm a little.

"Oh my god, you're blushing," Molly states excitedly. "I've never seen you blush over a guy. Did you have sex with him?"

"Molly!" Meredith and Lexie chide simultaneously.

"Oh, come on… I'm the oldest, Lex, you're in the middle, and Mer is the baby. Now, I have a four-year-old and a one-year-old. How often do you think I get to jump my husband? I'm going to live vicariously through my sisters for a bit."

"Okay, that's just wrong," Meredith says sadly. "Shouldn't a perk of marriage be lots of sex?"

"You'd think," Molly laughs. "It's kind of hard to make sex happen when you throw in night time feedings, wet beds, teething, bad dreams and a husband who is asleep or playing on the computer by the time I'm in the mood and the kids are settled."

"You two need a weekend away." Lexie states.

"That's a nice daydream," Molly says.

"No, it's not," Meredith says. "You guys go away for a weekend; Lexie and I will keep Laura and Ethan."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes" Meredith and Lexie answer.

"Okay… where are my sisters?"

"Right here!" Meredith answers. "You need this, Molly."

"You really do!" Lexie agrees.

"Okay." Molly smiles with tears in her eyes. "Okay, thank you!"

Laura comes up and pulls her Mommy to play with her. Molly looks at Meredith before walking off with Laura and says, "I still want details about your date with Derek."

Meredith laughs and Lexie says, "Me too. So, did you… have sex with him?"

"No," Meredith sighs. "I think it's too soon." She chews her lip and continues, "Maybe. I don't know. I thought it was too soon, but then we were kissing and touching, and I think I was about to change my mind, but I got paged back to the hospital."

"You should see your face!" Molly laughs.

"What?" Meredith asks, confused.

"You look dreamy."

"Lexie, we're doctors. Could you be any lamer?"

"Meredith, you're sighing and blushing over a date with a hot guy. Who you just admitted you were thinking about having sex with on a first date?"

"Actually, there wasn't a lot of thinking going on, Lex. Just a lot of really great feeling," Meredith says.

"I am officially jealous," Lexie states. "Derek is definitely McDreamy."

"McDreamy?" Meredith laughs.

"Yes, McDreamy."

Meredith shakes her head and smiles. "Do you think we can leave yet?"

"I think we're safe considering Laura has opened her gifts and eaten cake."

"Let's say goodbye and get the hell out of here than."

They did just that and Meredith went home while Lexie went to work. Once Meredith was in her bed under the covers, she dialed Derek's number. She was surprised to feel her heartbeat speed up with nerves.

"_Hi Meredith," he answers._

_"Hi Derek," she smiles. "How has your day been?"_

_"Good. Mark was here fishing, but he left a while ago. How was Laura's party?'_

_"Chaotic but good, I guess. I mean, I think it's hard to screw up a birthday party for a four-year-old."_

_Derek laughs and asks, "Have you had any sleep?"_

_"A few hours. I'm in bed now, actually."_

_Derek laughs and says, "There are things I could say in reply to that statement, but I won't."_

_"Really?" Meredith flirts, "Like what?"_

_"I am not answering that. Get some sleep."_

_"Okay," Meredith laughs, "If you don't have plans.. Can I bring pizza over later tonight?"_

_"Won't you sleep for hours?"_

_"No, I can only sleep for about five or six hours before I automatically wake up."_

_"Okay then, I'll see you later for pizza," Derek grins._

_"Bye, " Meredith says happily._

They hang up their phones both feeling excited about seeing one another later. Meredith falls asleep quickly, and Derek goes to let his dog out for a run.


	9. Pizza and Boding

_Chapter 9: Pizza and Boding_

Meredith opens the door to go inside the pizza place just as Cristina is exiting with her own box of freshly baked and sliced heaven.

"Hi Cristina," Meredith says with a smile.

"Hi Meredith," Cristina smiles in return. "How are you?"

"I'm good. And hungry," she answers while taking a deep, appreciative breath. "It smells so good in here."

"You're a pizza junkie," Cristina laughs.

"I suppose the pizza you're carrying is for charity?"

"Oh no, this is my crack," she replies. "Do you want to share this, or do you already have plans?"

"I actually have a date," Meredith answers.

"With the guy you thought was out of your league?"

"Yes," Meredith sighs. "He still is definitely out of my league. However, he seems to like me so I'm taking a chance and seeing where this goes. Have you decided whether or not you're going to marry your boyfriend?"

"No," Cristina answers with a disgruntled groan, "But my mother has decided on the menu for the reception dinner."

"You better get a handle on that," Meredith giggles.

"You better get a handle on your Fellowship."

"Touché'," Meredith sighs. "I'm off at 7 Monday night. Drinks at Joe's?"

"I'm off at 8 - I'll meet you there."

"Okay, enjoy your pizza."

"Enjoy your date," Cristina answers and leaves. Meredith orders pizza and her mind drifts to her Fellowship. She really does need to get a handle on that situation before she ends up doing her Fellowship in the middle of Timbuktu.

* * *

"_Hi Kathleen," Derek answers his phone._

_"__Hi Derek. How was your date with Meredith last night?"_

_Derek laughs then answers, "Kath, I love how you always get right to the point."_

_"__I know you do," his sister laughs in response. "Now, tell me how it went."_

_"__It went well, but she was called back to the hospital for an emergency surgery. She's on her way over with pizza now."_

_"__What?" Kathleen asks, sounding excited. "Two dates, two nights in a row? That's better than 'well,' Derek. I want details!"_

_Derek laughs and replies, "I am not giving my sister details about my date. Somehow that just seems… wrong."_

_"__Ewww Derek, I don't want any intimate details. Just tell me stuff you have in common, her specialty at work or about her family."_

_Derek laughs again and then hears Meredith's car in his driveway. "She's here, Kath. I'll call you tomorrow."_

_"__Have fun and tell her I say 'hi.'"_

_"__I will. I love you."_

_"__I love you too, Derek. Bye."_

_"__Bye," Derek says to his sister and goes to greet Meredith_.

* * *

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" Derek asks Meredith ten minutes later.

"I'm fine," she answers with a sigh. She's sitting on one of the barstools at Derek's kitchen island.

"Really?" he asks as he goes to the fridge and takes out two beers then goes to sit beside Meredith.

"Yes really," she says while breaking her slice of pizza into small chunks on her plate, but not eating any of it.

"We haven't known one another that long. So, it's okay if you don't want to tell me what you're upset about, but you're a terrible liar."

Meredith turns to look at Derek in surprise. He takes a bite of his pizza then opens both of their beer bottles. She watches his efficient movements and the lust she feels for him begins to coil in her stomach. At the same time, she experiences a sense of awe at the fact that he can so easily read her. Deciding to mirror his no-nonsense approach she says, "I'm sorry, I don't want to ruin our evening. I just…" she trails off and sighs. "I've done something stupid and may have put a real glitch in my career."

Derek turns his body to face Meredith and asks, "What happened?"

She is wringing her hands together when she says quietly, "I haven't applied for my Fellowship."

Derek can't control the look of surprise on his face.

"See," Meredith says sardonically, "stupid."

"Why haven't you applied yet?"

"I didn't really mean to not apply anywhere," Meredith begins. "It's just… I mean… I really…" she's starting to feel a bit of panic and gets up to pace a little. "I'm sorry Derek. Maybe I should just go home."

"No," he answers gently as he reaches out and takes her arm when she paces by him again. "You need to talk about this - it's important." He pulls her into his arms and gives her a hug and rubs her back softly. When he feels her calm down, he says, "If I remember correctly, the deadline to apply for your Fellowship is the end of this week."

"Yes," she answers, feeling no desire to move from the comfort of his embrace. She wraps her arms around him more tightly and lays her head on his shoulder.

"So, you have six days to complete the entire application process."

Meredith pulls her head from his shoulder and looks at his face. She is surprised to see no judgment there but says, "Feel free to tell me how stupid you think I…"

Derek cuts her off with a soft kiss to her lips. Her brain immediately clears of everything but the feel of him. She reaches up to run her hand along his hair-stubbled cheek and softly moans at the feel of his tongue along her mouth. She parts her lips and allows his tongue entrance to mate with her own. All too soon, Derek breaks the kiss and says, "I don't think anything negative of you, Meredith. Stupid would be letting the deadline come and go without applying anywhere. Besides, do you think you're the first person to procrastinate the boring application process?"

"Well," she giggles, "when you put it that way… but I bet you didn't put it off."

"You'd lose that bet," he laughs. "Mark and I both started applying three days before the deadline."

"Seriously?'

"Yes, seriously. So, where do you want to apply for your Fellowship?" His stomach tightens and he realizes he doesn't want her to go away, but he has no right to tell her that.

"That's kind of the problem," Meredith mumbles as she chews her bottom lip.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to leave Seattle Grace," she answers hurriedly.

Derek feels the grin spread across his face and he states, "That's not a problem. I'm pretty sure Webber would love to have you stay on at SG." Derek recalls Miranda telling him that the Chief was getting antsy about Mer's Fellowship.

"Yeah but there's no guarantee of that happening. So, I need to apply to other hospitals."

"If you feel better having a backup plan then you should, but I really don't think you should worry. Webber wanted you to work with me - remember? If he was trying to arrange that then I'm sure he'll be thrilled to have you do your Fellowship at Seattle Grace."

"True," she sighs, "but again - there's no guarantee. Webber isn't the only one making the Fellowship decisions. I think I should apply to other hospitals." She looks at Derek and feels sad at the idea of possibly leaving him when they're just getting started.

Derek's feeling the same thing but says, "I think you'll be accepted at Seattle Grace, but I understand the need to apply to other hospitals."

"I guess I'll be busy applying this week."

"I can help," he states.

"I wish," she giggles.

"It's called moral support," he laughs with her. "I promise not to distract you."

"How is it moral support if you aren't distracting me?" she asks as she leans in to kiss him again.

"Okay," he grins when the kiss breaks, "I'll distract you a little."

They kiss some more but neither of them let things go far. They finish their pizza and beer, talk about other hospitals Meredith may want to apply to, and then call it a night.

* * *

Meredith sits down on the barstool next to Cristina and orders a shot of tequila from Joe.

"You were off an hour before me," Cristina states in greeting. "How did I get here before you?"

"I was working on one of my Fellowship applications. Then, I called Derek."

"Derek? Is he the guy you're dating?"

"Yes," Meredith answers.

"Is he a Doctor?"

"Uh…"Meredith is grateful for the momentary distraction Joe provides by placing her shot in front of her. She isn't prepared to answer questions about Derek and has no idea what to say. Derek is still a well-respected Doctor in the surgical world and Meredith doesn't know whether he'd want Cristina knowing about his blindness. She answers Cristina's question by saying, "He runs his own business." She wants to change the subject and asks, "Is your boyfriend a Doctor?"

"Brandon?" Cristina asks and laughs. "Yeah, I guess he is a doctor."

Meredith laughs and asks, "You guess?"

"He's an Orthodontist." Cristina mumbles.

"That's a doctor." Meredith says, puzzled.

"The thing is," Cristina says, sounding a little defensive, "I don't really think of anyone other than surgeons as real doctors."

"Ummm, okay. Does Brandon know that?"

"No, I'm not stupid."

"Is that why you're not sure if you want to marry him?"

"No. I just… the thing is… Look, we don't have to talk about this crap. We're in a bar - let's just drink."

"Okay," Meredith shrugs and orders another shot for her and Cristina. "The thing is - this is what friends do… talk to one another about stuff and try to be helpful. If you don't want to talk that's fine, but if you do - I'll listen. And try to be helpful."

Cristina glares at Meredith then remarks snidely, "Says the woman who has been completely distant from her co-workers for the last few years."

"True." Meredith says and smiles, "But that was before we started this friendship thing."

"Great." Cristina grumbles and downs her shot.

Meredith does the same and lets her mind wander to Derek as Cristina continues to sit in grumpy silence. She wants to see him and that surprises her greatly. She can't remember a time in her life that she wanted to be around anyone - let alone a man she was dating - every day. Granted, she and Derek were just getting to know one another, but this still wasn't like her at all. It scared her a little bit but not enough to stay away from him.

"Hey," Cristina's voice interrupted Meredith's thoughts.

"Sorry, my mind was wandering. Did you say something?"

"Yeah, I said I like Brandon, but I'm not sure I'm in love with him."

"Oh," Meredith sighs. "I guess you know your answer about marrying him then."

"Come on," Cristina says a bit cynically. "There's more to a marriage than love."

"I agree. There's trust, fidelity, communication, shared goals, and common interests. And love." Meredith stresses. "Love is a key ingredient, Cristina."

"I didn't know you were Miss Merry Sunshine like Izzie Stevens."

"I'm not," Meredith laughs, "but I'm not an eternal pessimist, either. I had a completely crap childhood and didn't even know I had two half-sisters until our father died. We found out about each other through our father's lawyer. My father was with Susan first, together they had Molly and Lexi. Then, He left Susan and came to Seattle. Him and my mom had a brief "relationship," I guess. Finally, him and Susan somehow ended up back together. He denied me my whole life… Anyway, it has taken a lot for me to get to a place where I believe a happy life is possible."

"Well hell," Cristina states then she's quiet for a few moments. "You and I are both part of the Dead Daddy Club. My Dad and I were in a car wreck when I was nine, - he bled to death in my arms."

Meredith - not knowing what to say - wraps her arm around Cristina's shoulder. Cristina has a disgusted look on her face and says, "You're touching me."

"Shut up," Meredith mumbles.

Cristina gives a tiny smirk and lays her head on Meredith's shoulder.


	10. I Miss You

_Chapter 10: I Miss You_

Derek misses Meredith.

It was kind of crazy considering he'd only met her three weeks ago, but it was the truth. He misses her and it has only been three nights since she'd last been over. They'd spoken last night before she met her friend Cristina at Joe's and she was working today. He was supposed to be offering her moral support - in the form of distraction - while she did her Fellowship applications. That wasn't really happening though, considering she was about done with the application for Seattle Grace and he hasn't distracted her once. He smiles to himself as he thinks about all the ways he'd like to distract her from her responsibilities.

"You have a foolish look on your face," Miranda Bailey's voice interrupts Derek's thoughts. "Do I even want to know what you're thinking about?"

Derek laughs and replies, "Probably not the exact details, but I'm thinking about Meredith."

"Meredith?" Miranda questions and she pauses in dishing Pad Thai onto two plates for her and Derek to have for their weekly lunch date. "Meredith Grey that the Chief wants you to work with at the hospital?"

Derek doesn't miss the hopeful tone in Miranda's voice. He sighs and answers, "Yes, that Meredith, but I'm not thinking about working with her. I told you I'm not taking the Chief's offer Miranda. Please don't hassle me about it."

"You're being ridiculously stubborn about not accepting his offer," she snaps. "And selfish!"

"Selfish? How the hell am I being selfish?"

"Your being selfish because you are keeping your brilliance and medical knowledge to yourself when you should be teaching!"

"You know," Derek grumbles, "I was in a good mood until you got here."

"You're fine and you know I'm right. You just have to wrap your stubborn mind around the fact that you can teach and be happy doing it," Miranda states with a small trace of annoyance in her voice.

They eat quietly for a few minutes. The silence is broken by Derek's cell phone ringing with a call from Meredith.

"Meredith Grey is calling you?" Miranda asks in surprise.

"Yes," Derek says with a grin as he gets up from the table. "I'll be right back," he says as he leaves the room to take her call.

_"__Hi Meredith," Derek answers once he's in his bedroom with the door shut._

_"__Hi Derek," Meredith says with a smile as she slips into an empty on call room to talk to him. "How are you?"_

_"__I was in a great mood and thinking about you. Now, I'm annoyed because Miranda is hassling me about the job at the hospital."_

_"__Is Bailey there?"_

_"__Yes. I left her in the kitchen to wonder why I'm talking to you. I was going to tell her that we're dating but I think I'll let her just wonder now."_

_"__That's mean," Meredith giggles. "And are we?"_

_"__Are we what?"_

_"__Dating?"_

_"__What would you call us having meals together, talking about our lives, and making out on my couch?"_

_"__Don't forget the foyer," Meredith giggles again._

_"__Yes, the foyer holds fond memories for me."_

_Meredith giggles again then states, "We're dating."_

_"__Yes, and I'm not saying anything to Bailey yet."_

_"__So, Derek - since we are definitely dating…" she trails off - hesitating._

_"__What Mer?"_

_"__Well, my friend Cristina was asking me about you last night. She's a surgeon - and I just… well, I don't want to say the wrong thing…" she trails of again._

_"__About me being blind?"_

_"__Yes," she answers then quickly adds, "there's nothing negative or awkward on my part, Derek. I just don't know who you want to know what. Does that make sense?"_

_"__Definitely. Thank you for your discretion but you don't have to worry, Meredith. I'm private, but I'm not trying to hide anything."_

_"__Okay. That's not why I was calling though."_

_"__Were you calling to tell me you miss me?"_

_"__No," she giggles again._

_"__Oh, I'm hurt because I miss you," he laughs._

_Meredith is surprised at his admission. She can't remember anyone ever admitting to missing her. She replies, "I was calling to see if I can come over a little later. According to the Chief - in three hours - I'll have worked my maximum number of allotted hours this week and he's making me leave."_

_"__See - you do miss me."_

_"__Apparently I do," she says - rolling her eyes but smiling._

_"__How about if I have Bailey bring me to the hospital when she leaves. Then, we can do something from there?"_

_"__You're okay with that?" Meredith asks in surprise._

_"__Yes," Derek states. "I know this is an odd situation Meredith, but you don't always have to come to me."_

_"__I just want you to be comfortable…"_

_"__I'm fine," he interrupts._

_"__Okay. Call me when you get here."_

_"__I will, bye."_

_"__Bye."_

They hang up and Derek goes back to finish lunch with a very curious Miranda. "Why are you talking to Meredith Grey?"

"I'm going to meet her at the hospital - if you don't mind driving me in," he answers evasively.

"Of course, I don't mind," she answers immediately. When Derek says nothing else, she asks, "Why are you meeting her?"

Derek just laughs.

"You are annoying me," Miranda says. "If you don't tell me why you're meeting her - I won't drive you to the hospital."

"That's mean," Derek whines.

"Too bad," she snaps.

"Okay," Derek says with a sigh. Then he grins and continues, "Meredith and I are dating. Which I know sounds kind of juvenile… 'dating,' but it's true."

Miranda is momentarily surprised but then smiles and says, "It doesn't sound juvenile. It sounds great!"

"Okay, don't get sisterly and emotional on me. I already had Kathleen crying on my shoulder the other day."

"You are an ass Derek Shepherd."

"That's my Miranda," he says with a grin.

"We just want you to be happy."

"I know. And for the first time in… well, too long - I really am."

* * *

Chief Webber is busy doing paperwork when he hears a quick knock on his door. He looks up as the door opens and Miranda Bailey and Derek Shepherd walk inside. Bailey guides Derek to a chair across from Webber.

The Chief happily stops what he's doing and says, "Hi Bailey. Hi Shep, have you decided to take me up on my offer, after all?"

"No," Derek states emphatically. "I'm here to say hi to you while I'm waiting for Meredith."

"Meredith?" Webber asks and looks to Bailey for confirmation, but she's just smiling. "Meredith Grey?"

"I have surgery," Bailey interrupts. She touches Derek's arm and says, "The kids and I will see you on Saturday at Kayla's birthday party."

"Okay," Derek answers. He then turns back to Webber to answer his question, "Yes, Meredith Grey."

"You're meeting Dr. Grey, but not taking me up on my job offer?" Webber is frowning and has a very puzzled tone of voice.

Derek can't help but chuckle and answer vaguely, "That's right."

Webber shakes his head and replies, "I'm confused."

"Meredith and I are dating," Derek states simply.

"What?"

"Meredith and I are dating," Derek says again.

"Yeah, I heard you," Webber snaps. "I want you to work with Dr. Grey, Derek. I want you to teach her - not date her! She's incredibly smart and talented and can benefit from your expertise. So, can many of the other newer Doctor's here now. Not to mention, she is my goddaughter."

Derek answers calmly but with just a touch of steel in his voice, "We don't always get what we want."

Webber is about to reply when there's another knock on his door. He snaps out, "Come in!"

Meredith opens the door and steps in as she says, "Hi Chief." Then her eyes fall on Derek and a bright smile covers her face as she walks over to him and says softly, "Hi Derek."

"Hi Meredith."

"Am I interrupting?"

"No," Derek states as he gets up from his chair and starts to move toward the door on his own.

"Okay," Meredith says with a quick questioning glance at the Chief. She moves toward Derek to take his arm. She looks back over her shoulder and says bye to Chief Webber.

Once they're out of the Chief's office and waiting for the elevator Meredith asks, "What's wrong, Derek? I obviously did interrupt something between you and the Chief."

Derek answers, "He was bitching at me about working here."

"Oh," she says as they step on the elevator and she pushes the button for the lobby. "We're the only two on the elevator."

Derek turns his head toward Meredith and says a bit angrily, "He said he wants me teaching you - not dating you. What an ass."

Meredith giggles, causing Derek to smile and ask her what's funny.

As they step off the elevator Meredith leans into him and says quietly and flirtatiously, "I was just thinking that there's probably plenty you can teach me."

"Really?" Derek grins - the Chief completely forgotten. "Like what?"

"I don't know. You make the lesson plan, Professor Shepherd. I'm a very obedient student."

"Meredith," Derek says, his throat suddenly dry and his voice husky. "You said 'not yet' to sex."

Meredith opens the passenger door of her car and Derek gets in carefully. Once Meredith is in the driver's seat she leans over, touches Derek on the cheek and they kiss softly. Pulling back a little, Meredith says, "All teasing aside Derek… I want you."

A very happy, horny-male smile appears on Derek's face. He gestures impatiently and says, "Let's go."

Meredith giggles, starts the car and drives them toward her apartment.

* * *

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	11. Their First Time Together

_Chapter 11: Their First Time Together_

Meredith opens the door to her apartment and pulls a laughing Derek inside with her. "You drive like a maniac," he states while pulling her into his arms.

"Not usually," she giggles as she locks the door behind them and leans up to kiss Derek.

He pushes his hands gently into her hair and deepens their kiss - loving the silky slide of her tongue in his mouth. He cups his hand on the back of her head and gently tugs so he can slowly trail his lips along her jaw and up to her cheeks before moving back to her luscious mouth.

Meredith clutches Derek tighter around the shoulders as she feels her knees going weak from his tender touch. She moves to take his hand tightly in hers and whispers, "Come with me."

In her room - Meredith sits them both on the end of her bed. She reaches up to trail her fingers along his cheek and feels her heart clench in her chest. Derek is wearing his usual dark sunglasses and she reaches up to take them off, but he grabs her wrist, stopping her motion.

Meredith chews her bottom lip but doesn't say anything. She wants to see Derek's eyes, but she isn't going to push the issue if he isn't ready to show her.

Derek knows his glasses are a security blanket of sorts. He's unsure about showing Meredith his eyes. He doesn't know why, though. He knows he's being irrational - she won't judge or be critical. They are in her room together, about to have sex. Derek rips the glasses off his face and waits for her reaction.

Blue is Meredith's initial thought upon seeing his eyes for the first time. Her mind is swirling with questions. She wants to know how he lost his sight - among other things - but this is definitely not the time to ask. She leans into him and gently kisses each eye once and then places her lips upon his for a sweet and lingering kiss.

Derek's heart is beating frantically in his chest. She kissed my eyes, he thinks - stunned. She kissed my eyes, he thinks again, biting her bottom lip and eliciting a surprised moan from her.

They kiss until their lips are flushed and swollen. At the same moment, they start tugging at one another's clothing. They undress hastily, anxious to feel the other - skin on skin. They're lying on the bed now and Meredith tries to push Derek to his back but he resists with a sexy chuckle. He pushes her to her back and says, "Slow down, Mer."

"No," she pouts, reaching up and digging her fingernails into his shoulders.

He groans and his body grows tighter, but he takes a deep controlling breath. He reaches up and takes her hand in his, bringing it to his mouth to place little kisses on each fingertip, determined to have his way.

Derek trails his fingers up her arm, across her collarbone and down the center of her body. He stops between her breasts when he feels her heart hammering and leans down to place a gentle kiss right there.

Meredith's breath hitches in her chest at his tender gesture and she runs her fingers through his raven hair - marveling at the softness. Her brain goes happily fuzzy as Derek replaces his fingers with his tongue and continues his quest down her body. When he reaches her navel, she reaches down and tugs on his shoulders to bring him back to her mouth.

He laughs at her shyness but gives in to her and moves to kiss her again. Derek pulls Meredith's body tight against his as his tongue plunders her mouth. He runs his hands down her back and squeezes her ass in his hands - making her giggle and relax against him.

She takes the opportunity to do some exploring of her own and runs her hands down his muscled arms. She rubs her breast against his chest and smiles at his sharp intake of breath. She fights the urge to squirm as her nipples tighten to erect nubs at the sensual friction.

Derek's erection is beginning to throb, and he has to remind himself that it was his idea to take this slow. He lowers her head to tease her nipple with his wet tongue and feels satisfied to hear her squeal of delight. He moves to lavish the other nipple and she reaches between their bodies to lightly grip his penis in her hand and give a torturous squeeze.

Meredith grins as Derek's body gives an in voluntary jerk. She begins to stroke him faster - feeling him grow harder, longer, hotter.

"Meredith," he groans, reaching down to still her hand.

She shakes his hand off and pleads, "Please Derek."

It's practically his undoing and he realizes he can't deny her. He reaches between them to touch her core and feels that she's gloriously wet and ready for him. "God Mer…"

"I don't care… about… slow," she pants. "I need… you…"

Derek pushes Meredith to her back, settles himself between her thighs and in one quick motion buries himself inside her. She screams and immediately tightens herself around his penis - causing him to groan loudly in pleasure. She squeezes again and lifts herself up to him. He puts his hands on her hips and says, "Wait…"

Meredith stills her body and enjoys the sensation of having him inside her. She's amazed at how well they fit together. Like puzzle pieces…

Derek withdraws slowly from her and then plunges himself back in and feels like he's at home. He stops thinking when she wraps her long legs around his hips and picks up his rhythm. They rock her bed to the point that the box spring squeaks. They laugh amidst their mutual moaning and moments later Meredith feels her body tighten and then release in a long, convulsive, scream-inducing orgasm.

Hearing her scream of pleasure and feeling Meredith vibrate around him sends Derek over the blissful edge into his own pulsing, groaning, spurting release.

They lay for a long time afterward breathing heavily and their sweaty limbs tangled together. They felt shattered physically and put back together spiritually.

Eventually Derek moved to spoon Meredith. He was running his fingers lightly over her body. She couldn't believe how safe she felt laying there with him. Blissfully content. Peacefully sleepy.

"You're beautiful," he whispers into her ear just as she's about to fall asleep.

Her heart hitches and tears gather in her eyes as she realizes she absolutely believes the compliment coming from him. She feels his breathing even out and knows that he's asleep. Meredith reaches to pull the blankets over them then laces her fingers with his. As she drifts into sleep she wonders if it's possible to fall in love with someone so quickly.

* * *

Meredith moves happily around her kitchen. She'd woken a little while ago ravenously hungry for pancakes and sausage. Derek was sleeping peacefully in her bed. The thought of his warm and delectable body snug in her bed makes her smile. She pours a huge glass of orange juice and takes it - plus the plate piled with food - back to her bedroom. Meredith puts everything on her nightstand and sits on the bed next to Derek.

She leans down and gives him a soft, lingering kiss on the lips. When she pulls back, she whispers, "Derek."

He doesn't respond. Meredith smiles and leans down to kiss him again. She gives a little squeal of surprise when Derek's arms wrap around her and pull her tightly to him as his pliant lips turn firm and kiss hers in return.

Meredith goes soft in Derek's arms and allows the kiss to deepen between them. She wraps her arms around his warm, hard-muscled shoulders and breathes in his wonderful male scent.

"You're dressed," Derek states in a sleep-husky voice when the kiss breaks.

"I am," she giggles. "I got hungry and didn't want to cook naked."

An ornery grin spreads across Derek's face and Meredith smacks him playfully on the arm. "Don't say anything."

He laughs, "Okay, hand me my clothes, please."

"No," she says and pulls the sheet off of him. "I like you naked."

He quickly grabs her, tugging at her shirt and says, "Then you have to get naked again, too."

"No," she pushes him away, giggling some more.

"Yes."

"No," she continues to playfully protest.

Derek flips her under him and kisses her neck and nibbles on her ear. When he feels her shiver in his arms, he reaches down to pull her shirt up and whispers again, "Yes."

She doesn't stop him this time. Her skin is covered in goose bumps of anticipation. Derek quickly strips her down and then rolls again so she is laying on top of him. they continue kissing and he trails his fingers lazily up and down her back. After a while he breaks the kiss and asks, "Did you say something about food?"

"Huh? She mumbles, causing him to laugh.

She blinks and takes a deep breath - trying to clear her head. When she sees him still grinning, she remarks, "You're evil."

"You like it."

"True," she agrees and leans up to get the food she'd brought in with her. Meredith gives Derek a bite of the pancakes and he sighs appreciatively - making her smile again. They eat the food, drink the juice and just enjoy being together. They're both thinking about how wonderful and easy it is being together.


	12. Fellowship Readiness

_Chapter 12: Fellowship Readiness_

Lexie finds Meredith in the research room behind the nurse's station on floor three. She asks her sister "Why are you hiding?"

"I'm trying to finish my Fellowship applications."

"You had half of yesterday and all of last night off. I figured you'd have them done and in the mail."

"Umm - I was in bed the whole time," Meredith mumbles.

"In bed? Were you sick?"

"No," Meredith answers with a smile and a tint of blush on her cheeks.

"Oh my god," Lexie says with her own grin. "You had a sex marathon with Derek."

Meredith's response is a huge, beautiful smile.

"I hate you," Lexie sighs. "I mean, I love you but, in this moment, I hate you because I'm jealous."

"What are you talking about? You're having plenty of sex with Alex."

"Actually, I'm not. I ended that because I'm tired of feeling cheap afterward."

"Oh. Well, if that's how you were feeling; then ending it was a smart thing to do."

"Yeah, I guess," Lexie sighs again. "I just want to feel the way you're feeling about Derek."

Meredith gives a nervous little gulp. She looks at her sister and replies, "What I'm feeling right now is stressed because I have got to finish these applications, Alexandria Eileen."

"I'm not talking about that and you know it. Maybe you haven't admitted it to yourself Meredith Elèna, but Derek makes you feel something really great. I know because you blush and giggle about him. Plus, there's just something in your eyes. And…"

"Okay," Meredith interrupts. "Enough Lex. I have to work on these."

"All right," Lexie agrees. "Can I just ask you one question before I go?"

"Yes."

"Did he make your toes curl?"

"Repeatedly," Meredith answers with a grin.

* * *

"I came by on Wednesday morning to fish, but you weren't here."

Derek grins as he casts his line into the water. He says in Mark's direction, "I was with Meredith."

"Really?" Mark asks with a grin of his own.

Derek nods, but doesn't say anything else.

"So, how is she?"

"I don't know. She imposed a temporary exile until today so she could finish her Fellowship applications. She's coming over tonight after work and once I'm done at Kayla's birthday party."

"Not what I meant," mutters Mark.

"I know exactly what you meant, asshole. I'm not answering your juvenile questions."

"That good, huh?"

Derek's only answer is a smile.

"Lucky bastard."

"Mark," Derek growls.

"Hey, I'm just saying…"

"Don't say anything else," Derek interrupts.

Mark wisely keeps his laughter to himself. He's not going to admit it to Derek, but he's pleased as hell to see his friend so happy.

* * *

"This is boring as hell."

"You're just grouchy because you had mind-blowing sex all day and night Wednesday and haven't had it since."

"Thanks for the reminder, Alexandria" Meredith mumbles as she charts in the clinic.

"You had sex all day and night?" Cristina asks, obviously jealous. "With Derek?"

"Yes," Meredith answers with a smile.

"You know about Derek?" Lexie asks.

"I know she's dating a guy named Derek/" Cristina answers.

"Oh," Lexie replies and quickly leaves to go speak with a young woman who walks in the clinic doors.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Cristina inquires.

"I finally finished and mailed off my Fellowship applications."

"That's great but not what I meant," Cristina answers. When Meredith stays silent, Cristina sighs and says, "Your sister obviously knows something about Derek that you don't want to tell me. I thought we were finally friends."

"Cristina," Meredith says quietly. "Derek… my Derek - well, he's not my Derek, what I mean is.." she trails off and sighs.

"I get that you don't trust me enough to tell me," Cristina snaps.

"He's Derek Shepherd," Meredith says to Cristina's retreating back.

Cristina turns back, "Derek Shepherd?"

"Yes."

"Derek Shepherd, the hot, genius Neurosurgeon we studied in med school?"

"Yes," Meredith answers with a smile and a small roll of her eyes.

"I'm impressed. You're not as boring as I once thought." Cristina nods. Her pager goes off and she tells Meredith before walking away, "I want details later."

"Not going to happen," Meredith laughs.

* * *

Meredith pulls up at Derek's house, turns off the engine and then just sits in her car. She is feeling very nervous and feels a little bit ridiculous about it. After all, she had just spent many hours in bed with him earlier in the week while they learned every physically intimate detail of one another. Meredith rationalizes that she's nervous because this is the first time, she's seen him since then. Plus, this was the first time she was going to actually stay the night at his house.

What truly has Meredith freaked out and nervous is the fact that she knows she'd wondered about being in love with Derek. She's just been too busy since the initial wonderment to actually give it any thought. Now she was about to spend the night at Derek's house for the first time. There was nothing to distract her from what she was feeling for him. She wasn't on call, her Fellowship applications were done, she had an overnight bag packed and her heart was hammering wildly in her chest.

She told herself to stop freaking out and go inside. More than likely Derek had heard her pull up and was wondering what was keeping her. Meredith took a deep breath and attempted to put maybe being in love out of her mind and just enjoy her time with Derek.

Sure enough, when Meredith got to Derek's front door it was open and he was standing there looking concerned. "Are you all right, Meredith?"

"Yes," she answers honestly.

"Good," he smiles and holds out his hand to her.

Meredith takes Derek's hand and he pulls her into him for a kiss. A kiss that starts off sweet and quickly escalates to heated, passionate and slightly out-of-control. She vaguely hears the door shut as she drops her bag on the floor.

He presses her against the wall with the entirety of his body. She gasps at the hardness and the strength of him. "Wednesday was a long time ago," he groans.

"It was. "Meredith agrees with a small giggle that turns into a delighted gasp when Derek quickly - and a little roughly - discards her jeans and panties. "Now," he demands, biting her bottom lip.

"Yes," she agrees, breathlessly, still pressed between Derek and the wall. She reaches down to unzip his pants and releases his erect penis from its confinement.

Derek hoists Meredith's thighs up and around his waist and thrusts deeply into her.

"Yes…Yes…Yes…Derek! Harder, Faster, Pound me please!" Meredith yelled.

"Mer, are you sure?" Derek asked.

"Yes! Make me cum, please? Meredith begged.

"Your wish is my command." Derek said hotly.

Derek hoists Meredith's thighs up and around his waist and thrusts deeply into her again. Without pause they thrusted wildly against one another repeatedly, kissing, biting lips and digging their fingers into one another. Striving to be as close as they physically can. Within moments they're panting and groaning in mutual orgasm.

"Oh my God," Meredith giggles a few moments later.

Derek laughs and holds Meredith close to him as their breathing returns to normal.

"I love…" she hesitates for the briefest second… "your foyer."

Derek smiles, rubs his thumb softly down her cheek and whispers, "Me too, Mer.


	13. I Love You

_Chapter 13: I Love You_

"I like Derek." Molly states at the sisters' weekly dinner.

"You haven't even met Derek." Meredith says with a laugh as she twirls pasta onto her fork.

"Neither have I." Lexie interjects, "But we still like him."

"Okay," Meredith giggles with a roll of her eyes at her sisters. "I know this is you two trying to bug me into bringing him to dinner or something."

"What's wrong with us wanting to meet him?" Molly asks

"You're a mother hen, Molly Dawn."

Meredith's comment causes Lexie to laugh and say, "She always has been."

"Whatever," Molly says with a laugh. "Meredith, can you blame us for wanting to meet Derek? You've been with him for almost two months. Of course, we want to meet the man you're in love with."

Meredith chokes on her wine. When she's done coughing, she says, "I haven't said anything about love to either of you."

"You don't have to," Lexie says calmly, "It's obvious. You're happier, calmer, you smile a lot and spend the majority of your free time with him. Plus, I can see it in your eyes."

"Me too," Molly states. "Have you told Derek you love him, Mer?"

"No," she answers with a sigh. "At first, I thought maybe it was major infatuation on my part. Infatuation and lust mixed with great sex. I thought what I was feeling would go away, but it didn't. It happened really fast. I just didn't really believe I could fall in love so quickly."

"You should tell him you love him." Molly states.

"I can't," Meredith answers softly, shaking her head. "I've almost slipped and said it a couple of times, but I cover myself."

Lexie asks, "Why can't you tell him?"

"One, it's too soon," Meredith answers. "Two, I don't know if I'll be staying in Seattle for my Fellowship and C," she trails off with a slightly sad sigh.

"And C…" Molly prompts after a few moments.

"What if he doesn't love me?"

"Okay one," Lexie states emphatically, "it is not too soon to tell Derek you love him."

"Two," Molly picks up where Lexie leaves off, "you will be doing your Fellowship here - you just haven't received notice yet."

"If Derek doesn't love me?"

"Of course, he loves you," Lexie says.

Molly asks, "How can he not?"

"You're my sisters," Meredith says with a laugh. "Of course, you're going to say Derek loves me."

"He's a fool if he doesn't." states Lexie.

"Tell him Mer." interjects Molly. "What have you got to lose?"

"Derek" Meredith answers, pushing her barely touched food away.

* * *

"Have you told her yet?"

Derek doesn't even pretend to misunderstand his sister's question. "No Kathleen, I haven't told Meredith that I love her."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to be a selfish ass," Derek answers with a shrug.

"How is telling Meredith you love her selfish?"

"There's a real possibility that Meredith may go to Los Angeles or Chicago to do her Fellowship. She has to make big decisions about her career that aren't in any way clouded by me."

"Derek," Kathleen says with an exasperated sigh, "You are being a stupid and selfish ass!"

"What?" he asks in surprise. "No, I'm not. It'd be selfish of me to make her decision harder."

"Derek, Meredith loves you."

"You don't know that," he states.

"I do know that. From everything that you've told me - she loves you. Tell her how you feel. Not telling her you love her is selfish."

"What if she moves away to do her Fellowship?"

"Then she moves," Kathleen shrugs. "Even if she does - you can still make your relationship work."

"I don't know."

"Would you want her to move thinking you don't love her?"

"Of course not but we've only been together for a couple of months. What if I scare her off?"

"I don't think you'll scare her off, Derek. Stop being so stubborn and just tell her you love her."

Derek doesn't say anything else to his sister, but he can't stop thinking about it. Is he really being selfish by keeping his feelings to himself? Maybe.

* * *

Something was wrong.

Derek had moments when he knew things with absolute clarity - before he really knew them. Right now, he knew for a fact something was wrong with Meredith. It didn't help that he hadn't spoken to Meredith since yesterday. During the time they'd been together Derek and Meredith spoke everyday. Their schedules - granted, hers more than his - didn't allow them to be together everyday but they definitely talked to each other every day. Usually more than once.

Today was different. Today something was wrong. Today Meredith hadn't called or had her phone on when Derek had called her. Today Derek felt something he hadn't felt in a very long time - helpless.

Sighing - feeling frustrated, angry and worried - Derek dials his phone again.

"Hey man," answers the familiar voice on the third ring.

"Mark," Derek begins - thankful-as-hell that his best friend answered his damn phone. "How's Meredith?"

"I'm doing fine today Shep, thanks for asking."

"Sorry," Derek mumbles contritely. "I just have a bad feeling that something's wrong with Mer."

Mark sighs and replies, "You and your creepy ass, weird, psychic thing, or whatever that you do…"

"What's wrong?"

"Your girl is having a completely shitty day, that's what's wrong. The idiot surgeons that rely on superstition rather than skill are avoiding her like she's a plague."

"Oh crap."

"Yeah," Mark says. "Meredith has had two of her patients die today. The Chief jumped on her ass about something. I have no idea what it was about, but she looked like she was about ready to crumble when I saw her go lock herself in an on-call room."

"That explains why I haven't heard from her," Derek says. "Mark, when is her shift over?"

"Hold on, I'll check."

Derek hears Mark shuffling papers as he grabs an overnight bag. "She's off in an hour."

"Thanks man. Can you try to make her just go home when she's done for the day?"

"I don't know about 'making her' do anything, but I'll nicely suggest it. If she wanted to drown in a bottle of something though, she'd have every right."

"I know - just try."

"I will, bye."

"Bye," Derek says. He hangs up with Mark and calls Kathleen to ask her for a ride to Meredith's. Kathleen readily agrees upon hearing about Meredith's horrendous day. Regardless of when Meredith gets home - Derek is going to be there for her.

* * *

Meredith is barely holding it together as she pulls into her parking space at home. She wants nothing more than to go out and see Derek. She's going to have to settle for calling him though, because she is too exhausted to drive out to his place right now. She has three voice messages from him and feels bad that she hasn't been able to call him today. What an awful day. It was probably better that she wouldn't see Derek tonight. He definitely didn't deserve to be tainted by her atrociously bad mood. She starts walking to her apartment. Meredith decides that she'll have a scalding hot shower, a super strong drink - maybe two or three of those - and then call Derek when she feels numb about this day. That's a good plan. He'll understand.

Meredith rounds the corner and sees him leaning in the doorway of her apartment. "Derek?"

He turns his head toward her and gives her a gentle smile as he says softly, "Hi Mer."

The next thing Derek feels is Meredith hurtling herself into his chest and wrapping her arms tightly around him. He returns her embrace as he chuckles and says, "You may be tiny, but you have a force to be reckoned with."

Meredith gives the tiniest giggle and then mumbles into his chest, "You have no idea how happy I am to see you."

He grins but doesn't say anything. He holds her tightly and massages his hands down her back. After a couple of minutes, he feels her begin to relax in his arms. "Mer let's go inside," he suggests softly.

"No," she mumbles into his chest. "I'm not ever moving from this spot."

Derek chuckles and replies, "If we go inside you can have the cheesecake, I brought you."

"Cheesecake?" she asks with a small smile as she turns to unlock the door. "You brought me cheesecake?"

"Yeah, I thought it might help after the day you had."

"You know about my day?"

"I was worried about you," he shrugs. "I talked to Mark and he told me you lost two patients. So, I asked Kathleen…"

"To bring you here?" she interrupts, surprised.

Derek can hear her in the kitchen, opening a cupboard and taking something out. He's suddenly feeling a little nervous but doesn't want her to know. "There's your surprised tone of voice," he jokes.

"Do you want a drink?"

"No thanks," he answers, arms crossed casually in front of him, leaning in her kitchen archway.

"I am surprised you're here," she says, poring her drink in a glass tumbler filled with ice. "In a very pleasant way, though. You heard I had a crap day and you came here to see me. Thank you."

"Meredith," Derek says seriously, "Of course, I'm going to show up when you need me. I love you."

She sets her glass on the counter without taking a single sip. "What did you say?" she whispers, afraid she didn't really hear him correctly.

"I'm going to show up when you need me," he answers, moving closer to her.

"Not that part," she says, touching the back of his hand with her fingertips.

Derek pulls Meredith to him and tilts her face up to him. He rubs her cheek, kisses her softly and whispers, "I said, I love you."


	14. Moving Forward

_Chapter 14: Moving Forward_

"Really?" she asks, giggling and literally feeling the weight of her awful day lift away.

"Yes," Derek laughs, "I really do love you."

"That's amazing," Meredith laughs again, hugging him tightly, "I love you too, but I was afraid to tell you because I thought maybe you didn't love me and if I told you I'd freak you out, but Lexie and Molly said…"

Derek stops her ramble by kissing her. He kisses her for a long time - until she goes soft and pliant in his arms. He kisses her until he can barely breathe and assuming she's almost out of air too, he breaks the kiss. She sighs happily, he chuckles and says, "Now, say that again - without all the adorable, nervous rambling."

Meredith smacks him in the arm but says, "I love you, Derek."

"I love you, Meredith." He hugs her again and says, "I can feel you smiling."

"I am. I just had the most awful day. A really, atrociously awful day that I have no real desire to talk about, but now…" she sighs and leans up to kiss him again. "Tonight, is a really great night. A freezing cold night. So, I want to crawl under a bunch of blankets with you and eat cheesecake. Okay?"

Derek laughs but agrees to her plan. Cheesecake and cuddling under blankets with Meredith. It sounds perfect to him

* * *

'How's Brandon?"

"I broke it off with him," Cristina answers and takes a drink of her beer.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know," Meredith states. "You seem all right."

"I'm great," Cristina laughs. "It was a couple of weeks ago. I felt sad about it for a few days but never devastated or heart broken. That's telling, huh?"

"Yeah, it tells me you did the right thing by ending it and not marrying him."

"The funny thing is - Brandon didn't seem too upset by it. In fact, he seemed kind of relieved."

"Really?"

"Really. So, how are things going with Derek?"

"Great," Meredith answers as a glowing smile spreads across her face.

"Does he know you love him yet?"

"Yes," Meredith answers. "Remember a few weeks ago when I lost two patients in one day."

"Yeah."

"When I went home that night Derek was there waiting for me with cheesecake. We told each other that night."

"Nice way to turn a crap day around," Cristina states.

"Yes, very nice."

"Not that it's really any of my business, but why doesn't Derek ever come here and have a drink with us?"

"Oh, umm…" Meredith hesitates and starts picking at the label on her beer bottle. "He can't really come here. Well, I suppose he can, but I don't think he'd feel comfortable here."

"Is he an alcoholic?" Cristina questions

"What?" Meredith gives a small laugh. "No, he's not an alcoholic, Cristina."

Cristina looks at Meredith curiously, waiting for her to continue. Meredith sighs and says, "Derek is blind."

Cristina laughs until she realizes Meredith isn't laughing with her. "Oh crap," she says, "You aren't kidding."

"No, I'm not kidding. Derek really is blind. To be honest, I've never asked him to meet me here because I can't imagine that he'd be comfortable in this environment."

"I guess he wouldn't," Cristina agrees. Then asks, "Why haven't you told me? Does he not want anyone to know?"

"It's not something you really blurt out. And Derek… he's private about it, but he's not trying to keep it a secret."

"Wow -I can't even imagine - "Cristina trails off, as if she doesn't want to finish her thought.

"Losing your sight and not being able to cut?"

"Yes," Cristina states. "Does he talk about it? I'm sorry, if you don't want to talk about it, I understand."

"It's okay Cristina. It's just - we don't dwell on Derek being blind. Yes, we've talked about it, but… well… "Meredith sighs and takes a deep breath before continuing, "Not to sound cliché, but it is what it is, and I love Derek. So, I've made some adjustments to fit into his life, but it's been a gift and not a sacrifice. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it makes sense, but I don't know if I could do it - make adjustments to my life like you have."

"You could if you were in love with someone."

"I don't know if I'd even give someone the chance, though."

"That's sad, Cristina."

"I'm just being honest."

"I understand that, but I still think it's sad."

They don't say anything more about it. They just finish their drinks, talk a bit about surgeries they each have scheduled and then leave Joe's to go home for the night.

* * *

Meredith doesn't go home. She drives out to Derek's. Normally she would call first but she doesn't tonight because she feels a really strong need to see him. She knocks on his front door and it opens almost immediately.

"Hi Baby."

"Hey Babe." he says with a smile. He grunts a little as she throws her arms around him and kisses him - slightly urgent.

"I love you," she says. "I'm sorry I didn't call first."

Derek laughs and pulls her inside before shutting the door. He answers, "First, I love you, too. And second, you don't need to call first. That's just silly at this point. In fact, I have something for you."

"You do?"

"Yeah. Come on, it's in the bedroom."

"Oh," Meredith giggles. "Is that right?"

"Yes," Derek laughs. "Don't have a dirty mind. It's completely innocent."

"Damn," Meredith mutters, making Derek laugh again.

He sits down on the bed and Meredith sits beside him as he opens his nightstand drawer and pulls out two things. He hands them to her and at first, she is too surprised to say anything. She simply stares at the objects in her hand with a smile on her face.

When the silence stretches on a little longer, Derek says, "Please don't be freaked out, Meredith."

"What? Oh," She looks up at Derek's face and sees that he looks a little nervous. She takes his hand and places it upon her face for him to feel her smile. She says, "I'm not freaked out at all. I'm assuming the key is to your house."

"Yes," Derek nods, pulling her closer to him.

"What is the remote control for?"

"The garage," he chuckles.

"Of course, it is," she giggles. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"You were too busy having dirty thoughts."

"That must be it," she agrees. Meredith gives him a little kiss and says, "I'll be right back."

"Okay," he answers, a little baffled as he listens to her go to his living room.

Meredith comes back to sit beside him a moment later. She opens his hand and places a single key in his palm and says, "I had it made a week ago. You know, in case you ever want to surprise me again. You won't have to wait outside for me. I noticed you only have two keys on your ring," she rambles nervously. "A big one and a little one. So, I had a rubber thingy put on the top of the key for you so you can tell it apart."

"Meredith…"

"I mean, tell my apartment key from your house key."

"Meredith," Derek interrupts again, laughing. "Why are you nervous? I just keyed you, too."

"I don't know," she mumbles. "Maybe because I've never given anyone a key to my place before. I don't want you to think I'm assuming anything."

"Mer," he says softly, turning to embrace her. "We love one another. I think it's safe for us to assume certain things."

"Like what?" she asks, cuddling into him.

"You don't have to call before coming over, you should park in the garage and use the key to my house. You can assume that I'm happy you gave me a key and I will use it. You should assume I want you to bring your stuff here and actually leave it instead of always taking it away with you."

"I have a toothbrush here," she states.

"Yeah," he chuckles. "Now, leave some other stuff here. Like clothes, shoes and hair conditioner. It's silly for you to always lug it around."

"You just want me to leave my conditioner so you can smell it while I'm at work," she teases.

Derek laughs and leans in to kiss her. After a few moments he hears her stomach growl. He pulls away and teases, "I'll also assume it's time for me to feed you."

"That would be nice, thank you."

They share dinner and pleasant conversation. Meredith ends up staying the night but has to leave early the next morning.


	15. What is Going On?

_Chapter 15: What is Going On?_

"Hi Meredith."

"Hi Lexie," she answers as she closes her patient's chart. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. Are you ready to take care of Laura and Ethan this weekend?"

"Yes. I'm a little nervous, though."

"Me too," Lexie laughs. "Great Aunts we are, huh? We're pathetic. Two grown women afraid of a four and a one year old."

"Don't tell Molly" Meredith laughs.

"No way. If she knew we were nervous, they'd never go away for the weekend. And God knows they need it."

"Yeah, they do," Meredith agrees. "I'm sure pizza, movies and play-time at the park are good ideas, but that's only going to get us so far."

"That's good stuff Mer. It's more than I thought of to entertain them."

"I'll ask Derek for some ideas. If he doesn't know maybe, we can talk to Kathleen."

"Good idea, Mer. Just remember - do not let on to Molly that we're nervous."

"I won't." she sighs.

Lexie looks closely at her sister. Then asks, "Is something else bothering you?"

Meredith chews her bottom lip and replies softly, "I still haven't heard about my Fellowship. From here, I mean. I've been accepted in Los Angeles and Chicago."

"Oh," Lexie sighs. "There's still time though, right? You could still be accepted here, right?"

"Yes, but it's getting late in the game. I don't want to miss out on a position in L.A. or Chicago because I'm waiting for an answer from Seattle Grace. Especially, if the answer is no here."

"Meredith," Lexie whines a little, "They have to accept you here."

"No Lex," Meredith shakes her head, 'They don't have to accept me."

"I know that, but they will. Right? I mean, the Chief wanted you and Derek to work together. That implies that he was going to vote for you to have your Fellowship here."

Meredith is quiet for an uncomfortable moment. Then she takes a deep breath and says, "I'm worried about this, but I need to let it go for now. I have surgery in an hour and we're taking care of the kids this weekend."

"Okay," Lexie sighs, "but Mer?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you discussed this with Derek?"

"No. The possibility that I may have to leave him in a few months depresses me."

"What?" Lexie asks with surprise in her voice. "You don't think he'd go with you?"

"I couldn't ask Derek to go with me Lexie. His life - and the structure he needs in his life - is here in Seattle."

"He's in love with you Meredith. You are a huge part of his life and that structure now. Do you really believe he'd just let you walk away?"

Meredith feels her heart start beating faster and her breath grow a little shallow. The idea of losing Derek now - after having just found him - scares the hell out of her. "I can't have this conversation, Lex. Let's just wait and see if I get accepted here. Okay?"

"Okay," Lexie sighs.

"Do you want to scrub-in with me?"

"Let me clear it with Dr. Yang."

"If she says no, tell me so I can get someone else."

"All right," Lexie says with a frown and walks away. She really doesn't want her sister to move away. Why hasn't she gotten an acceptance letter from Seattle Grace yet?

* * *

Meredith and Lexie had lots of luck - and fun - watching Laura and Ethan Friday night and all of Saturday. They'd had pizza - and lots of other fun kid foods - read lots of books, colored, gone to the park. They'd played hide-and-seek with Laura and built block towers for Ethan to knock down. They'd even allowed the kids to have so many bubbles in their bath that it spilled all over the bathroom and everyone erupted into giggles. Yes, Friday night and all of Saturday had been fabulous. They should've known it wouldn't last.

Sunday morning was sheer hell.

Laura and Ethan had woken up cranky and whiny. They didn't want waffles for breakfast. They didn't want to color or go to the park again. In fact, they didn't agree to anything Aunt Meredith and Aunt Lexie suggested. At 10 a.m. Meredith called Derek in desperation - nearly in tears. He suggested having Kathleen bring Kayla to play with Laura. If she was happy it might be easier to calm Ethan. Meredith agreed but made Derek promise to come over, too.

An hour later the two little girls were playing happily. Lexie, Kathleen, Derek and Meredith were having coffee and talking. Ethan was sitting in Meredith's lap - sucking his thumb and snuggling into her.

"Is Ethan always so calm and snuggly?" Kathleen asks.

"No," Meredith and Lexie answer in unison and they all laugh.

"He's usually running all over the place," Meredith answers.

"And into everything," Lexie adds.

Ethan starts squirming and fussing. Meredith gets up and starts rocking him on her hip, but this makes him cry. "Hey Ethan," she whispers, "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Mama," Ethan wails. "Da!"

"Do you think he misses mommy and daddy?" Meredith asks.

"Mama! Da!" Ethan cries again.

"I'd say that's a yes!" Derek replies and Ethan stops crying. Ethan looks at Derek and reaches his little arms out toward him.

"Derek," Meredith says quietly, "Ethan's reaching for you."

"Really?' Derek grins and opens his arms. "Let me have him. Maybe he'll calm down for me."

Meredith puts Ethan in Derek's lap. Ethan cuddles right into Derek and starts sucking his thumb again. Meredith sits back down and watches as Derek gently rubs her nephew's back. She is oblivious to anything else happening around her as she watches Derek completely comfort Ethan. The little boy has a little smile on his face as he starts to fall asleep and his thumb falls out of his mouth. Meredith's heart does wild flip flops in her chest as she feels herself loving Derek even more. For the first time ever, she wonders what it might be like to have a child of her own - with Derek. She feels tears in the corners of her eyes and excuses herself to go to the bathroom. Lexie and Kathleen share a smile - knowing exactly what Meredith is running from as they too look at Derek comforting the little boy.

* * *

The image was burned into her memory. Man comforting child. Derek comforting her nephew. Every time Meredith thought of it - which was a lot - her heart hitched in her chest and went wild again. It wasn't a big stretch for her to imagine Derek holding their child - a little girl with curly blonde hair and turquoise eyes. Then she'd get angry because she was mentally torturing herself. She shouldn't be thinking about having children with Derek when she didn't even know if she'd be staying in Seattle. Meredith sighs and rubs her tired eyes. She really needs to make a decision about her Fellowship. How could she though, when she still hadn't heard from Seattle Grace?

Meredith smiles as she slides her key into the lock of Derek's house. She hasn't seen him all week because she had to work a ton of hours to make up for being off all of last weekend. She feels better just being here - knowing they're going to spend the night together. Maybe it's time to talk to Derek about some of what's been on her mind.

"Derek?"

Meredith gets no response and moves toward the back of the house, calling out again, "Derek?"

She still gets no answer but hears music and smiles - knowing where he is now. Derek has a small home gym that has a treadmill, stair master, stationary bike and lots of free weights. He insists on working out regularly and staying fit. Meredith stops in the doorway to the gym to appreciate the sight before her. He's wearing shorts, a t-shirt and sneakers with sweat all over him and doing arm curls with the weights. Meredith watches for a couple of minutes - appreciating how his muscles flex and the beautiful masculine condition of his body.

Derek puts the weights away, walks over to turn off the music and grins, "Mer, if you're going to stand there watching me workout the least you could do is towel me down."

She giggles, not even surprised that he knew she was there, and replies, "I am so not your towel girl."

"Do you want to join me in the shower then?"

"Later," she replies, trying to keep her voice light.

"Something's on your mind," Derek states.

"I can't keep anything from you," she sighs.

"Do you want to keep things from me, Meredith?"

He's standing in front of her now - dripping sweat but looking serious. "No," she answers honestly, quietly.

"Should I be worried?"

"I hope not."

"That's a vague answer," he states, looking slightly annoyed.

She leans in to give him a quick kiss and says, "Go take a shower. Then I'll tell you what's on my mind."

"Okay," Derek answers, walking around her and heading to his bathroom.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Derek walks into his room with wet hair and wearing his bathrobe. He hears Meredith breathing heavily, evenly, and knows she's asleep. He sighs, wanting to talk to her but not wanting to wake her up after the week she just had. He gets dressed and grabs his phone when it starts announcing a call from Bailey. He goes outside to talk to her.

"Hi Miranda."

"Hi Derek, how are you?"

"Okay," he answers. "How are you?"

"I am fine," she replies, "But I don't believe that you are."

Derek can't help but grin as he replies, "Mer says I pick up on everything."

"Who does she think you learned it from?"

Derek laughs, "What's up?"

"I just called to see if you and Grey want to come over for dinner tomorrow night."

Derek is surprised and asks, "Have you and Meredith ever done anything socially?"

"No," Miranda sighs, "But there's no reason why that can't change."

"Let me talk to Meredith when she wakes up and I'll let you know," he answers carefully.

"Is there a reason she wouldn't want to come here?" Miranda asks, sounding slightly offended.

"Not that I know of," Derek sighs, "But something is bothering her. So, let me talk to her and then I'll let you know if we're both coming over or if I'm coming on my own."

"Oh," Miranda laughs, "You think she's going to end things with you."

Derek winces as she hit's a nerve and replies, "I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to but I'm sure she's not thinking of ending things with you."

"You sound rather certain of yourself," Derek says. "Do you know something?"

"Talk to Meredith. Then let me know about tomorrow night."

"Miranda."

"It's not my place, Derek."

"I'm not asking you to betray her confidence. I'm just asking you for some kind of advanced warning because now I am kind of freaked out."

Bailey is silent for several moments and Derek thinks she isn't going to tell him anything. "Okay fine," he sighs.

"I overheard Meredith talking to her sister."

"And?" he asks as his heart beats faster, suddenly nervous that something is wrong with his Mer.

"Meredith has to be the one to tell you, "Bailey insists, "But she doesn't want to leave you, Derek."

"Leave me?"

"I have to go. The kids are fighting. Talk to Meredith and call me about tomorrow night," Bailey says and hangs up.

Leave me? Derek thinks again as he turns off his phone. He's worried and wants to wake Meredith up to find out what the hell is going on but can't bring himself to do it. She needs her sleep. He decides that if she isn't awake in a couple of hours, he'll wake her up and demand some answers.

* * *

**What are you guys thinking so far? How do you feel about Meredith and Derek's relationship? How do you feel about the fellowship situation? To answer a question...Yes, the backstory will be revealed about how Derek became blind in future chapters. However, I can't say much without giving the plot away. Please be patient, I will not let you down. I love you all!**

**\- Cheyenne**


	16. Decisions

_Chapter 16: Decisions_

Meredith wakes up and feels disoriented for a moment. Then she smiles, realizing she's at Derek's but the smile quickly fades as she remembers they're supposed to talk. She had so hoped to never have a conversation with Derek about her leaving Seattle, but he has a right to know the possibility exists.

"Hi," she says, as Derek walks into his room.

"You're awake. I was coming to check."

"I'm awake," she agrees with a sigh. "Derek…" she trails off as her heart plummets into her stomach.

"Mer," Derek starts, going to sit next to her on the bed. "Why would you have to leave me?"

She was looking down at her hands and whipped her head up to look at him in surprise. "I don't want to leave you Derek," she whispers, "But I may not have a choice."

"Why?" he whispers in return, worry evident in his voice as he takes her hand in his.

Meredith lays back on the bed and stares up at the ceiling. Derek lays back with her, holding her hand still, waiting for an answer. Finally, Meredith says, "I haven't heard from Seattle Grace about my Fellowship."

Derek is quiet for a few moments and then he sighs hugely and laughs. He squeezes her hand and says, "This is about your Fellowship." He sits up again and runs his hands through his hair, "Thank God."

"Derek?" Meredith sits up next to him. "You sound relieved."

"Of course, I'm relieved! Miranda said she overheard you and Lexie talking and that you didn't want to leave me, but wouldn't tell me anything else. She said it was your place to tell me. Do you have any idea what I've been thinking for three hours? Christ!"

Meredith wraps her arms around Derek's shoulders and says, "I'm sorry you were so worried. I was going to talk to you about this after your shower but obviously I fell asleep. I've been accepted to Chicago and Los Angeles. I want to stay here but…"

"You need to make a decision."

"Yes. Cedars-Sinai only accepts two Fellows per twelve-month period. It's a great program and I'd rather not lose my spot there if I don't have one here."

"So, it's Los Angeles," Derek states, sounding a little sad.

"Yes," Meredith sighs. "How much longer do you think I should wait to hear from Seattle Grace?"

"I don't think you should wait."

"What?" Meredith asks, completely surprised and feeling hurt at the same time.

"What I mean is, if you don't get your acceptance letter in the mail tomorrow, talk to Richard about it. He'll understand that you need to make a decision. It's your career Meredith, you have a right to know what programs you've been accepted to for your Fellowship."

"I agree, and it makes sense to talk to the Chief about it. Thank you."

"For the record, I want you to stay in Seattle," Derek says as he reaches up to stroke her cheek.

She rubs her cheek into his palm and says, "Hopefully I will."

* * *

Meredith wakes up to the feel of Derek nuzzling her neck and holding her body close to his. She feels warm, cozy and very content. "Good morning, baby." she mumbles and rolls over to wrap her arms around him.

"Good morning, my love." he replies and leans down to kiss her lips.

She tangles her legs with his and sighs, "I don't want to move from this spot."

"Then don't," Derek laughs. "Call in sick and we'll stay in bed all day."

"Oh sure," she giggles. "That would go over really well."

"Fine," Derek sighs in mock defeat, making her laugh some more. "I forgot to tell you that Miranda invited us to dinner tonight."

"What? You mean she invited you."

"No," he says, kissing her again. "She invited us. That's why she called last night."

"Oh. Well, I guess if she's okay with it then I am too."

"Meredith, it's not a conflict of interest to have friends that you work with."

"It's just a little odd for me, Derek. Before Cristina, I never had friends at work. I just never saw any reason to mix my personal life with my professional life. Except for Lexie, obviously."

"Would you rather not go tonight? I haven't given her an answer yet."

Meredith looks at him and sees that he's completely sincere in leaving the decision up to her. "Tell her we'll be there," Meredith sighs. She kisses him quickly when he laughs. "You have to go to dinner at Molly's with me on Thursday night, though."

"No way," Derek says, shaking his head. "That's your sister's dinner night."

"Exactly," Meredith states. "Molly's pissed that Lexie met you and she didn't. She's called me every day this week to complain about it. I'm going to Bailey's tonight - so you're going to Molly's on Thursday."

"Okay," he grumbles.

Meredith laughs, kisses him and says, "I'm going to take a shower."

"Wait, there's something else I want to talk to you about."

Meredith glances at the clock and sees that she has plenty of time. She gets out of bed, goes to the closet for clean jeans and says, "Okay, what's up?"

He doesn't say anything for a few moments. Meredith frowns, feeling a little nervous. She goes back to the bed and puts her hand on his shoulder, "Derek? What do you want to talk to me about?"

He reaches up and threads their fingers together. He takes a deep breath and says, "If you go to Los Angeles for your Fellowship - I want to go with you."

"What?" Meredith asks, in complete shock.

"If you go to Los Angeles…."

"I heard you," she interrupts, sitting back down on the bed, still holding his hand. "It's just that… I mean… well… I'll be doing my Fellowship, Derek. I'm going to be insanely busy. The hospital is going to own me for a year. I couldn't ask you to go with me."

"You didn't ask me," he answers quietly. "I'm telling you I want to go, but if you don't want me to…"

"It's not that," she interrupts again. "I don't want to be away from you, but what kind of life would you have in L.A.? You've made a new life for yourself here. You have your work, your friends, your family. There's structure in your life here… structure that you need! I love you but I can't be the bitch that takes you away from what you need, Derek!"

He is squeezing her hand tightly, but his voice is calm when he speaks. "Baby, I love you. You're correct that I need structure in my life, but I can arrange that anywhere. You have made my life so much better than it was before. You don't have to give me an answer now but think about it. If you go to L.A. I want to go too."

Meredith has tears in her eyes, and she replies, "I never believed I was going to love someone the way I love you, baby. If you're sure - then I don't need to think about it." She leans in and gives him a lingering kiss. "If I have to go to L.A. - we'll go together."

Derek grins, grabs her and kisses her until they're both breathless. Meredith breaks away and says, "I have to get ready for work."

"I know," he sighs, reluctantly releasing her.

Meredith goes to work feeling much better than she has all week. And she doesn't even want to try and erase the smile plastered on her face. She keeps wondering what she did right to find Derek and have him in her life.


	17. Acceptance and Bro Time

_Chapter 17: Acceptance and Bro Time_

_You have been accepted to the Seattle Grace Hospital Fellowship…_

There was plenty more to the letter, but Meredith was focused on that part at the moment. She dialed Derek's phone number with a grin on her face and feeling a huge amount of relief.

"_Hey Mer." he answers, a smile in his voice._

_"__I got in," she says immediately and giggles. "I'm doing my Fellowship at Seattle Grace, Derek."_

_"__Congratulations baby!" he states sincerely._

_"__Thank you!" she sighs. "I had to tell you right away. I know I'm going to be there soon, but I couldn't wait to tell you."_

_He laughs, "I'm glad you called to tell me right away."_

_"__We don't have to move," she says._

_"__I know, but I would have."_

_"__I love you, baby!" she states. "I know you meant it when you said you wanted to go with me, but I'm glad your structure doesn't have to change."_

_"__I love you too, sweetheart! Bring some champagne with you - we'll celebrate."_

_"__Okay," she answers, "What about Bailey's?"_

_"__We aren't going. Tuck isn't feeling well so she called to reschedule."_

_"__All right. I'll get some dinner too. What do you want?"_

_"__Whatever you feel like - we're celebrating your accomplishment."_

She laughs and they say goodbye. Meredith looks around her apartment and realizes that she is spending less and less time there. It has become one step up from an on-call room; a slightly nicer place to sleep when she was too tired to drive to Derek's. She shook her head - deciding to think about this when her lease was up in a few months. Grabbing her stuff - she leaves to pick up dinner and go to Derek's.

"I'm happy that you're staying in Seattle for your Fellowship."

"So am I, Lex."

"Does Derek know you're staying?"

"Of course!" Meredith answers, smiling.

"I'll bet he was the first person you told" Lexie states.

"He was," Meredith answers, her smile turning to a frown. "I hope that doesn't bother you. It's just…"

"You're in love with him, Mer. I would've been surprised if he wasn't the first person you told considering you were so sad at the idea of possibly leaving him."

"Yeah, about that," Meredith says, lowering her voice and pulling her sister aside. "Derek wanted to go to L.A. with me."

"What?" Lexie asks with a huge grin. "When did he tell you that?"

"Saturday morning. Before I got my acceptance letter to stay here."

"Meredith, that's pretty amazing. You get that, right?"

"Yeah," she sighs. "He really loves me."

"Duh," Lexie quips, making her sister laugh. "You already knew that, though."

"I did. It's just… well, moving would have been a pretty big sacrifice on his part."

"You're a little scared, aren't you?"

"Yes," Meredith admits. "A little. I mean, I never expected to feel this way about someone, Lexie. It's not even something I thought about. I wasn't the girl who day dreamed about love and… other stuff."

"Other stuff?" Lexie laughs.

"Shut up," Meredith mumbles. "You know what I mean by other stuff."

"I do," Lexie concedes. "I saw the way you looked at Derek while he held Ethan. So did his sister, Mer. You left the room with tears in your eyes. It's okay to think about having kids with him."

"No, it's not," Meredith says emphatically. "It's completely selfish and asinine to be thinking about… stuff… with Derek. I should be thinking about my Fellowship, research and surgeries. I shouldn't be wondering about stuff I didn't know I wanted. I don't even know if Derek wants that stuff."

Lexie laughs and replies, "You're so nervous and freaked out you won't even say marriage and kids."

"I have to go," Meredith says and walks away from Lexie.

Lexie laughs again and pulls out her cell phone to call Molly.

* * *

"So, how are things going with Meredith?" Mark asks and takes a drink of his beer.

"Great," Derek answers with a grin. "I'm going to marry her."

Mark spits his beer and chokes a little - making Derek laugh. "What?" Mark asks once he's able to speak. "You and Grey haven't been together that long. How can you be talking about marriage?"

"It's been almost six months, but I didn't say we're getting married tomorrow. Hell, I haven't even asked her yet."

"How do you know, though? I mean, that you want to marry her?"

Derek laughs, "You sound like someone's trying to force you into marriage."

"Not going to happen," Mark mumbles. "How can you be so sure about marrying her?"

"I love her," Derek shrugs. "Besides, I'm not twenty - I'm thirty-seven. I want to marry her and build a life with her. Yes, I understand that she's young, she's twenty-four. By the time her fellowship is completed, she will be twenty-five. She will be the youngest neurosurgeon attending in the country. For Christ sake, I mean she graduated high school when she was fifteen and went straight into her senior year of college (many years of dual enrollment courses). She graduated college with a bachelor's degree in human biology by the age of sixteen. Then, she went straight to Dartmouth. Meredith finished at Dartmouth at age 19. Finally, she came here to complete her residency."

"Yeah well, I'm the same age as you and I have no desire to settle down. Also, damn Derek, I didn't need to know her life story."

"That's because you're mentally twenty and an asshole."

Mark laughs and drinks more beer. "Aren't you going to dinner tomorrow night with her sisters and brother-in-law?"

"Thanks for the reminder." Derek groans.

"You want to marry Meredith, but you don't want to go to a family dinner?"

"It's just nerve-wracking."

Mark laughs again then asks, "When are you going to ask Meredith to marry you?"

"I haven't thought about that yet. I just know I want to marry her."

"Well," Mark sighs, "I'm happy for you. Let me know if you want some help when you're ready to pick out the ring."

"Okay, thanks."

"You're welcome."


	18. Hesitation and Questions

_Chapter 18: Hesitation and Questions _

"Derek," Meredith says quietly - in case he has fallen asleep. She is cuddled into his side and swirling her fingers lightly through his chest hair.

"Hmmm?" he answers, skimming his fingers gently up her naked back.

She takes a deep breath and asks in a whisper, "Do you want children?"

He doesn't answer immediately but Meredith knows he heard the question. The moment it was out of her mouth he stopped rubbing her back and his body stiffened slightly. Feeling nervous, she sits up and says, "Never mind. I didn't really mean to ask you that. It just…"

"Hey" he says and opens his arms "Come here."

She moves back into his arms and lays her head on his chest. Derek starts twirling his fingers through the ends of her hair and replies, "It's a valid question - I just wasn't prepared for it."

"I get that. Forget it, it's really not a big deal."

"Mer, are you going to let me answer your question?"

"You really don't have to," she mumbles. "We haven't even been together six months. I shouldn't have brought up kids."

"I love you baby."

"What?" she giggles and feels less tense. "I know that, but I love you too, baby"

"I want to build a life with you" he states calmly.

"Yeah, me too," she whispers.

"I don't know about children though" he states honestly.

"Oh." Meredith sighs shocked by the pain she feels in her heart at his statement.

"Me.," he says, hugging her tighter to him.

"It's okay Derek." she hugs him back, rapidly blinking to control the unexpected tears pooling in her eyes. "I don't know about children, either."

"Let me explain…"

"Really, it's okay," she interrupts, and her voice cracks a little.

"It's not okay if you're upset about it Meredith."

"It is okay," she insists even though her tears are now falling. "I don't know why I'm reacting like this."

"I'm not saying I don't want them, Mer. I used to but I haven't thought about the possibility of kids in a long time."

"I never wanted children," she replies with a humorless laugh. "I'm still not sure I do but I have been thinking about the possibility."

"Mer…"

"Believe me," she continues, "I know how selfish I sound. I'm a surgeon."

"You're not being selfish…"

"Yeah right."

"Stop interrupting," Derek snaps, irritated.

"Sorry," she mumbles, getting out of bed and grabbing her clothes. "I have to go to the hospital."

"What? No, you don't," Derek gets up as well. "Meredith, why are you running off?"

"I don't want to have an argument about this because it's really not a big deal," she answers aloofly.

"Obviously it is," he answers, his voice raising.

"I have to go."

"You mean you have to run away!"

Meredith goes over to him, takes his hand and whispers, "I'm not running away."

Derek squeezes her hand and asks, "Then what are you doing?"

"Calming down," she sighs. "I'm a little freaked out by my reaction right now, but I swear I'm not running away from you. I'm not running away from us."

"Okay," he answers, looking sad but letting her go. "Bye."

'Bye," she answers, tears filling her eyes again as she leaves Derek's house.

* * *

Meredith looks through the glass at all the tiny humans, swaddled in blankets in individual bassinettes, with little hats on their newborn heads. Some of the babies are soundly sleeping while others cry and some just look around.

"So, you still come visit the babies, Dr. Grey?"

Meredith can't help but smile at the familiar voice as she turns her head and replies, "I think it's safe for you to call me Meredith, Dr. O'Malley. How are you?"

"All right, but you have to call me George. And I'm fine, how are you?"

"Okay," she sighs. "How's private practice?"

"It's great," he grins. "It was a difficult decision to give up surgery and open a peds practice, but it turned out for the best."

"So, which one of these little sweeties is your new patient?"

"None of them."

"What? I thought Pediatricians came to the hospital to give initial check-ups to all their newly delivered patients."

'I do," he answers with a huge grin, "But see that little girl right there on the end?"

Meredith looks at a tiny infant with a pink stocking cap and answers, "Yes."

"She's mine," George says with pride in his voice. "Her name is Shannon Lee O'Malley and my wife delivered her yesterday."

"That's a serious Irish name," Meredith giggles.

"Yeah, it is," George laughs, "but what do you expect when my wife and I are both from Irish-Catholic families?"

Meredith smiles and says, "Congratulations George - on your marriage and your beautiful daughter."

"Thank you," he replies simply. "What about you?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Marriage? Children?"

"Oh," she sighs and turns to look at the babies again as her heart lurches painfully. "I have a boyfriend that I love, and I can see myself marrying. As for children," she chews her lip for a moment and continues, "well… I don't know."

"Meredith?" George says gently, touching her arm.

"Yeah?"

"You've obviously changed."

"What?"

"When I worked here - except for looking at the babies - you were not at all receptive to anything resembling personal interaction. This conversation is the only personal one - and the longest one - we've ever had."

"Yeah," she sighs. "People change."

"That's my point," he states. "Don't rule out children with your boyfriend. There's nothing in the world like seeing your child for the first time."

George's words feel like a douse of cold water in the face to Meredith. Oh God, she thinks, how could I be so stupid?

"Thank you, George," she says and squeezes his shoulder quickly. "I have to go, but congratulations again."

"It was good to see you, Meredith."

"You too," she answers and turns to leave the hospital as George goes into the nursery to get his baby girl.


	19. Understanding His Pain

_Chapter 19: Understanding His Pain_

Meredith let's herself into Derek's house and takes a deep but nervous breath. The house is silent, and it appears as if he isn't there as she walks around looking for him. Finally, she glances out the back door and sees him sitting on the deck. She goes outside and sits down in the chair beside him. "Hi," she says quietly.

"Hi," Derek answers, but doesn't turn toward her. He doesn't take her hand, smile or act in any way like he normally does. He just sits there, brooding.

There's a part of Meredith that wants to return his silent treatment, but she knows that would be childish. Besides, it would prolong this agony, this awkwardness between them. So, she simply says, "I'm sorry, Derek."

He finally turns his head in her direction, and she continues, "I really was being selfish. I know you said I wasn't, but I was. I've started thinking about the possibility of children with you and then reacted like a freak when you said you didn't know. I didn't let you explain or even take a moment to consider why you may not want kids. I… I just, I'm sorry, Derek," she finishes as her voice hitches a little.

Finally, he reaches his hand toward Meredith. She grabs it and he pulled her into his lap. She wraps her arms around him and lays her head on his shoulder. Derek says, "I'm sorry too, Mer. Are you going to let me explain now?"

"You don't have to," she mumbles.

"Okay," he says squeezing her tighter, "But will you listen anyway?"

"Yes."

"Good," he states quietly and begins rubbing her back. "I would love to have children with you Meredith, but I just don't think it's a conceivable possibility. You understand why my life has to be structured the way it is. How fair would it be to bring a child into an environment of constant control? I wouldn't even be able to be alone with him or her - I'd need a babysitter to be with our child when you weren't around."

Meredith has tears in her eyes and physically hurts for Derek, for them. She kisses his lips gently and then whispers, "I understand - I really do. I just didn't think it through and I'm so sorry for that."

"It's okay, Mer. You came into my life and adapted in an amazing way. The only thing that made me mad was that you ran away instead of talking to me."

"I know," she mumbles, "That was stupid."

"It was."

"That won't happen again," she laughs.

"Good," he chuckles and kisses her lightly. Then says somberly, "I would give anything to be able to actually see you. I know you're beautiful and it's a pointless wish, but I really would love to just look at you."

"Derek…"

"I can't," his voice cracks and he has to clear his throat before continuing, "I just can't go through life not seeing our children. It's hard enough not seeing you."

Meredith can't answer him because she is crying. All she can do is hold Derek tightly to her. They stay there - holding one another in the deck chair - for a long while. They're both sad but at the same time so thankful that they have one another. They're both mourning the loss of the children they'll never have but rejoicing in the fact that they found each other.

* * *

**Although it seems like the couple won't have children now, please have faith in me. I will fix this! Please be patient!**


	20. Planning to Proposing

_Chapter 20: Planning to Propose_

**Meredith and Derek have been together just over a year.**

"Mark, are you absolutely certain Meredith is in surgery?"

"Yes," Mark sighs, slightly frustrated. "You already asked me that. Before you ask again, Lexie will be here in ten minutes. Yes, she knows not to tell Meredith that she's meeting us for lunch."

"Okay."

"How the hell are you going to actually propose to Meredith? I mean, if you're this nervous just asking Lexie if she knows what kind of ring her sister might like…"

"I just don't want Meredith to find out. I want it to be a surprise."

"It will be - stop worrying about it. You'll get to ask while you two are on Maui. At sunset on the beach - or whatever lame ass thing you have planned."

"Shut up. For your information - I don't have anything planned."

A few minutes later Lexie joins Derek and Mark. "Okay Derek," she says, "When are you planning to propose to my sister?"

"I thought you didn't say anything!" Derek snaps to Mark.

"I didn't," Mark defends himself.

Lexie laughs and says, "He really didn't. I was just assuming but let me say that I am so glad I'm right. Don't worry, I promise not to say anything to Meredith."

"Okay," Derek grumbles. "I was hoping you could give me an idea of what Meredith might like for her engagement ring."

"Oh," Lexie sighs and then grins. "Are you going to ask her on Maui? By the way, how did you manage to convince her to take a vacation?"

"It wasn't easy," Derek answers. "I finally convinced her that she should have a vacation before her Fellowship begins next month."

"Were you part of her concern about going?" Lexie asks

"The ring, Lexie. What do you think she'll like?" Derek evades her question.

"You know, she's very protective of you," she insists.

"The ring," Derek says again, looking a little embarrassed.

"Fine," she sighs. "Do you mind if I call Molly and get her opinion?"

"Do you have to?" Derek asks.

"Well no, but she's Mer's sister too. I don't want her to feel left out."

"Fine," Derek sighs, "Make sure she knows not to say anything to Meredith."

"Duh," Lexie says sarcastically. "You really need to relax."

Derek fights the urge to grind his teeth while Lexie fills Molly in and giggles and laughs on the phone.

Mark sees his friends annoyance and can't resist saying, "You're the one that wanted to get her sister's opinion. Since mine wasn't good enough for you - we're both sitting here in giggly female hell."

"You're an ass," Derek says. "Besides, what the hell do you know about engagement rings?"

"I'm going with you to buy it, aren't I?"

"Yes, but do you know the difference between princess cut diamonds and emerald cut diamonds? Do you know about settings? What about metal - should we get platinum, yellow gold or white gold?"

"What the fuck?" Mark grumbles.

"Exactly," Derek laughs. "Kathleen started yammering away about all kinds of crap like that and I thought my head was going to explode. So, I figured if I had no clue what she was talking about, neither would you."

"Well, you're right about that," Mark admits.

Finally, Lexie gets off the phone and says, "All right - Molly and I have narrowed down what we think Meredith would like the best."

"Thank God," Derek says. "What?"

"When are you going to buy the ring?"

"After lunch," Derek answers.

"Good," Lexie states. "I have the rest of the day off. I'll go with you to make sure you two get Mer the best ring."

Derek just laughs. Mark gives a huge sigh of relief and says, "That's great. Now I can go back to work. Shep, you freaked me out with all that crap about metals, cuts ,and whatever."

"The four C's," Lexie states.

"What?" Derek and Mark ask simultaneously.

"This is exactly why I'm going," Lexie says. "The four C's: color, cut, clarity and carat."

"Yeah, have fun with that," Mark mumbles and Derek laughs.

After lunch Mark does indeed return to work. Derek and Lexie go shopping for Meredith's engagement ring.

* * *

Meredith is missing Derek. She's been at the hospital for twenty-two hours. She's tired and all she wants to do is climb in bed with him, wrap her arms around him and sleep until they go on vacation. Instead, she goes to her apartment and crawls into her rarely used, cold and too big bed. Partly because she's too tired to drive any further at the moment and partly because she has to be back at the hospital in eight hours.

Meredith lays in bed and thinks again about the fact that she's hardly ever at her apartment. Her lease is up in six weeks and she really doesn't want to renew it. She basically lives with Derek already, but they'd never really talked about making it official. She decides to bring up the subject next week while they're on Maui.

The thought of Maui made her smile as she was falling asleep. She was looking so forward to this vacation with Derek. And to think she'd fought going because she was worried about Derek and how he'd handle being out of his environment. He finally convinced her that he needed and wanted to go as much as she did. Now, she couldn't wait to leave in five days and was practically counting the minutes.

* * *

"_I'm on my way back to the hospital for another ten-hour shift," Meredith is talking to Derek on the phone._

_"__I know," he grumbles, causing her to laugh._

_"__It's going to be the same if not worse during my Fellowship."_

_"__I know," he sighs again. "It's only one year though, and we'll get through it."_

_"__Yeah, we will," Meredith answers with a smile. It made her feel good to hear him say things like that - encompassing their future. "We get to go to Maui before my Fellowship starts, though."_

_"__Yes," he says, and she can hear him smiling. "Two full weeks without interruption."_

_"__I wish we were leaving now," she sighs._

_"__Me too," he agrees, thinking of the ring he has hidden away for her._

_"__Five days - we can make it through five days. Right?"_

_"__It'll be easier to get through if you come home tonight."_

_That comment made her smile too. "I'll see you tonight."_

_"__Love you, baby."_

_"__Love you too," she says and is smiling as she walks into the hospital._


	21. A Minor Setback

_Chapter 21: A Minor Setback_

"Derek?"

Meredith feels uncomfortable as she looks for Derek in the house later that night. Something feels off - not quite right.

"Derek?" she calls again and hears a slightly muffled moan as she steps into the dark bedroom.

He's lying on the bed - curled into himself. Almost in a fetal position but not quite. Her heart leaps in alarm and she quickly goes to sit beside him. Putting her hand on his shoulder, she whispers, "Derek, what's wrong?"

"Bad headache, babe." he groans. "Just a really bad headache."

"Have you taken anything for it?"

"Don't be Doctory." he snaps.

Meredith lets that slide and asks again, "Have you taken anything for it?"

"No."

"How bad is it? On a 1 - 10 scale."

He doesn't answer her, and she reaches up to gently stroke his forehead. She says, "You would want to take care of me."

Several moments go by before he whispers, "It's an 8, maybe a 9."

"Jeez Derek," she leans down and kisses his forehead softly. Then whispers, "I'll be right back."

She leaves the room and comes back a minute later to sit beside him again. "Take this - it's a Tylenol 3."

Derek leans up and she puts the pill in his mouth and then a glass of water in his hand. After he's taken the pill she asks, "Is this the first time you've had a headache like this?"

He doesn't answer. "Derek," she says, with a touch of irritation in her voice.

"No," he snaps. "All right? Can you let it go now?"

"Yes, for now," she answers. "I'll let it go while you sleep the headache off but when you wake up - you're going to tell me about these headaches."

"Bossy," he mumbles.

Meredith starts to get up to leave the room but stops when she hears him say, "Stay here, please."

Meredith puts the empty water glass on the night stand and crawls into bed with Derek. She wraps her arms around him and holds tight. It isn't long before the medicine takes effect and she feels the calm breathing of his sleep.

* * *

"Meredith?"

She feels Derek's warm breath and stubble on her cheek as she slowly wakes up. "Hi," she mumbles. "How do you feel?"

"Much better," he says with a smile and leans down to kiss her fully on the lips. "Thank you for taking care of me, Dr. Grey."

"You're welcome," she states. "Now, tell me about the headaches."

"I should've known you wouldn't forget about that." he says with a heavy sigh.

"Of course not." she says. "Last time I checked - I am a Doctor. It hasn't been so long since you've practiced medicine. You know as well as I do headaches that bad shouldn't be ignored."

Derek quietly admits, "I have an MRI scheduled for tomorrow."

Meredith is silent for a long time as tears well in her eyes. Finally, she asks in a whisper, "Were you going to tell me?"

"Yes" he answers immediately, "After I had the results."

"Okay," she sighs. "How many of these headaches have you had recently, Derek?"

"One per week for a month," he answers. "The last time I had headaches like this I lost my sight."

"A month?" she asks angrily. "You've been having these headaches for a fucking month and haven't said a word to me?"

"Because I didn't want you to worry," He yells! "We're going to Maui in a few days. I didn't want anything overshadowing that for you." He says more quietly. "The headaches could be nothing, baby."

"I know," she admits, chewing on her bottom lip. "You still should've told me, Derek. How would you feel if I kept something like this from you?"

"I wouldn't like it," he admits after a long, tense silence. "I'm sorry."

"Okay," she says. "Are you going to let me be there with you tomorrow? Or are you going to be a macho pain in the ass about it?"

"I want you there with me," he admits.

"Good," she says. "You said you had headaches like this when you lost your sight?"

"Yes," he answers. "I had a tumor on my optic nerve. It showed up on an MRI and I opted to have it removed. I never regained my sight after the operation."

"How often do you have testing done to make sure everything is all right?"

"Every six months for the first two years. Then we moved it to once a year. Now, it's every eighteen months. The last MRI I had was right before we met - so about fourteen months ago."

"Okay," she sighs, wringing her hands together.

Derek reaches out and takes her hand in his, lacing their fingers together and squeezing tight. "Don't worry Mer." he whispers.

She gives a tiny. humorless laugh and replies, "Yeah right. In case you haven't noticed, I'm in love with you. Worry comes with love."

"I know." he relents then pulls her to him and kisses her. "We'll have answers tomorrow. Can we try to have a normal evening?"

"Yes." she agrees, knowing that she will do anything for him.


	22. Will We Get Answers?

_Chapter 22: Will We Get Answers _

Meredith sits in the waiting room chair next to Derek - wringing her hands together. He reaches over and holds her hand. He whispers, "It's going to be okay, baby"

"Why is it taking so damn long for the results?"

"It's not really. It's just that being on the patient side of things sucks."

"It really does," she sighs. She kisses him on the cheek and says, "I'll be right back."

"Meredith…"

"I'm not going to let you hear the results without me." she interrupts.

"I was going to say that it's not going to speed up the process if you harass the radiology techs," Derek says with a grin.

"I'll be right back," she repeats and quickly leaves to find Chief Webber and the head of Neurology - her boss - Dr. Miyamoto. She finds them looking at x-rays and asks without preamble, "Are those Derek's MRI results?"

"Meredith, you're not working on Derek's case," Chief Webber states.

"I know that," Meredith states, a small amount of the fear she's been feeling evident in her tone. "I just… are those his results? I feel helpless and I hate it! So please…."

"Meredith," Dr. Miyamoto - a tiny Japanese woman - says gently, "His MRI is completely clear. We were just about to come out with the results."

"Oh. Okay, thank you!" she says as a bit of relief washes over her. Then she asks, "Then why is he having such awful headaches?"

"We don't know," Webber answers with a glance at Dr. Miyamoto. "We're going to suggest…."

"A full CT and blood work," Meredith finishes.

"Yes," answers Dr. Miyamoto.

"All right," Meredith sighs. "Can you just wait a minute to talk to Derek. I need to the use restroom and I want to be there when you talk to him."

"Of course." Dr. Webber says. Meredith rushes into the bathroom as tears begin to fall down her cheeks. She checks under the tall doors to make sure she's alone in the bathroom and then sits down on the floor, puts her head on her knees and sobs.

A few moments later the door whooshes open and she hears Lexie say, "Mer."

At the same time Cristina mumbles, "Oh crap."

Meredith looks up from her spot on the floor to see her sister and her friend sit on each side of her. Lexie pulls Meredith's head onto her shoulder and Cristina asks, "What came up on the MRI?"

"N… noth… ing," Meredith stammers. "The MRI… is… clean."

"Then why the waterworks?" Cristina asks.

"Dr. Yang," Lexie protests.

"What?" Cristina volleys. "I just don't understand why she's so upset if Derek's fine."

"Meredith." Lexie says gently, "Calm down and tell us what's going on."

Meredith makes herself stop crying and takes some deep breaths before speaking. While she's doing this, Cristina awkwardly takes her hand and holds it - trying to show her support. Leaving her head on Lexie's shoulder Meredith says quietly, "I'm half relieved and half freaked out. Yes, the MRI is clean, but why the severe headaches?"

"Are they going to suggest a CT?" Cristina asks.

"Yes, and blood work."

"Okay," Lexie states, "Just a little more waiting and you'll have answers."

"What if he's not okay?" Meredith's voice cracks.

"Don't do that to yourself," replies Cristina. "Just get the testing done."

"And besides," Lexie adds, "the headaches could be stress-related, or something easily fixable."

"I know." Meredith sighs. Then whispers, "I just can't lose him. Derek and I have barely found one another. I can't lose him."

Cristina and Lexie look at one another over Meredith's head. They both feel at a loss as to help her in this moment. It's Cristina who says, "Pull yourself together and be strong. Go be with Derek while the tests are done."

Meredith gets up, splashes cold water on her face and thanks her sister and her friend. Then she goes back to Derek and sits with him while he receives his MRI results. He then agrees to the CT and blood work.

"It's going to be okay, baby."

"I know," she says, refusing to let him know that she's scared.


	23. The Terrifying Wait

_Chapter 23: The Terrifying Wait_

Meredith was supposed to be packing for their trip to Maui. Instead, she was reading her medical books and refreshing herself on everything in there about severe headaches. Normally she believed that knowledge is power but everything she was reading was making her sicker with worry.

"Meredith." Derek says from the doorway of the dining room, "Stop doing this to yourself."

"I'm fine." she mumbles without looking up from her book.

Derek moves to sit beside her at the table. "Baby." He says softly. She doesn't answer him and turns the page to keep reading. Derek reaches out and touches her shoulder then he trails his fingers down her arm and takes her slightly trembling hand in his. "The CT was clear."

"I know," she says calmly. "The lab was backed up, but Chief Webber will call as soon as they have the results from your blood work."

Derek sighs because he knows she's freaked out and trying to hide it from him. "It's probably something easily dealt with." he says.

Again, she doesn't say anything. She keeps reading and holding tight to Derek's hand. After a few moments Derek says, "Thank you for caring."

"Caring?" Meredith surprises Derek by yelling. She slams her textbook shut and gets up from the table to half stomp and half pace the room as she continues to yell. "Of course, I care - I love you! In a great big, huge, terrifying, amazing way that I never knew I could love someone! And now you're having these headaches and I can't figure out why!"

"Meredith," Derek says as he gets up and tries to take her in his arms, but she keeps pacing.

"No," she snaps as she refuses to let him hold her. "What was the fucking point of all the fucking medical school and years of fucking Residency if I can't even help you now?"

To her utter disbelief Derek starts laughing. She shouts, "There is nothing humorous about this situation!"

"I'm sorry Mer," Derek says around his chuckles, "but you say 'fucking' a lot when you're mad. I think you're cute and funny when you're angry."

"I feel like breaking something," Meredith mumbles as she strides past Derek and picks up her huge and heavy textbook. "Fucking useless book," she says and hurls it across the room. It lands on the floor with a loud and slightly satisfying thud. Derek feels Meredith start to walk by him again and he quickly reaches out to her. His hand lands in her hair and he holds tight and pulls just hard enough to yank her hard into his arms. She gasps in surprise and then feels his lips crash down onto hers. They kiss one another with all the pent-up fear and frustration they're both feeling. She bites down hard on his lower lip and tastes blood. Derek responds by yanking her sweater over her head. Meredith reaches out and pulls at the front of Derek's shirt and hears buttons patter across the hard wood floor. "I want you now!" she tells him as she reaches for the zipper of his pants. Within moments they're both mostly naked and kissing, biting and scratching at one another. They stumble over their clothes and fall to the floor while holding onto one another.

"Now." Derek pants as he lays on his back on the floor and pulls Mer on top of him.

"Yes." she sighs in agreement as she slides him into her core and then goes completely still to savor the moment and the feel of his hardness inside her.

"Christ," Derek groans as he grabs her hips and lifts her up as he thrusts up and into her again.

They find a rhythm that is quick and urgent. They don't say anything else while allowing the nature of the beast control them. In mere minutes they orgasm together. Then they continue to lay on the floor, tangled together and panting for air, but each refusing to move or let go of the other.

Meredith is laying with her head on Derek's chest and he runs his fingers gently through her hair. "I love you, baby." he whispers.

"I love you too, baby." she replies. Then continues honestly, "I'm scared, Derek."

"Me too," he answers just as quietly.

"I don't want to lose you," she admits to him.

"You won't," he says immediately. They both know they have no say in the ultimate question of life or death. Yet, they both find comfort in the acknowledgement of fear and reassurances of life.


	24. Vacationing in Maui (Part 1)

_Chapter 24: Vacationing in Maui (Part 1)_

"I can't believe you got first class tickets," Meredith giggles as she stretches her legs all the way in front of her and still has room.

"It's a long flight," Derek replies seriously. "We should be comfortable during every aspect of our vacation."

"This is more than comfortable. This is excessive," she says with a roll of her eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes."

"How the hell do you always know when I roll them?"

"It's in your tone of voice," Derek answers with a grin. He then reaches out to trace her cheek gently and says, "You deserve this, Mer. Everyone should fly first class at least once in their lives."

"Yeah" she says slightly sarcastically, "Then feel bitter the rest of their lives when they can't."

"Well," Derek shrugs, "That's not really a problem since we can."

Meredith's heart jumps in her chest like it always does when he makes casual comments about their future. It makes her happy to think about them being old together. Not that she's in any hurry to get old. She just definitely wants Derek with her when she's white-haired and creaky with age.

Meredith reaches out to take his hand in hers as the plane engine revs and they gain speed for the lift-off.

"Are you nervous?"

"Yes," she answers. "I don't like the take-off."

"I don't like the landing," he laughs.

She closes her eyes to distract herself from the nauseating feeling of leaving the ground at an unnatural speed. She thinks about the fact that Derek's blood work came back clear and that makes her happy. She did have to make herself calm down and stop worrying though. Everything was fine and clear, but she was going to be paying close attention to see if he got anymore headaches. He also promised to tell her if he got any while she wasn't around.

For now, though, they were going on vacation to Maui. She'd never been to Hawaii. Partly because she couldn't even remember the last time she was on a vacation, and she thought of Hawaii as a place for lovers. Feeling the plane start to even out she opens her eyes and turns to look at Derek.

"What?" he asks, feeling her gaze upon him.

"I love you." she whispers. "Thank you for insisting on this trip."

"It's only beginning," he grins and leans in to kiss her. "I love you too."

* * *

"I don't want to move from this spot."

"Then don't," Derek chuckles as he lays on the warm sand next to Meredith.

They'd arrived at their Lahaina hotel two hours before. Meredith immediately made sure that Derek knew the exact layout of their room. She'd unpacked, put the suitcases under the bed and took Derek on a very detailed trip of their room. She counts steps with him, makes sure he knows the exact placement of all the furniture and creates very clear paths for him to move freely and comfortably about. Finally, Derek says, "Thank you for helping me acclimate, baby. I'm fine now but I'd like to get outside for a while."

After walking on the beach and along the edge of the roaring waves, Meredith had dragged Derek down to lay beside her on the lightly colored sand. Now she rolls over and nuzzles into his chest.

"I thought you didn't want to move," he teases as he wraps his arms around her.

Meredith places her lips on his for a slow, romantic kiss and ends his teasing as his mind turns to thoughts of sex. On the beach. He's wondering if he can convince her it would be fun when her voice interrupts his thoughts.

"You're thinking about sex."

He chuckles, "Every other thought I have involves you and having sex."

"Really?" She giggles, "So I consume half your brain power?"

"No," he answers, squeezing her tight, "That's more like 90%."

"Silly, silly man," she teases as she gives him another quick kiss and feels her heart roll happily inside. She sits up and tugs on his hands, "Come on, as much as I don't want to move - I'm starving."

Derek gets up and takes her hand in his as she leads them back to the hotel restaurant. He wonders when he'll actually propose to her. He doesn't have anything planned, but knows he wants to do it while they're here on Maui. At the perfect time.

* * *

Meredith looks at Derek over the table in the restaurant and asks, "Would you think I'm a total loser if I told you I just want to go back to our room? I want to take a bath and then go on the balcony and have drinks with you while we listen to the waves crash on the beach."

"It's our vacation Mer. We can do anything you want. If you want to lay in bed and sleep for two weeks - that's what we'll do."

She giggles and asks, "Have I told you today how much I love you?"

"I'm sure you have," he answers with a grin. "I'm sure if you really want to you'll think of some way to show me, too."

"Really?" she asks as she kicks her flip flop off under the table and places her foot right in his crotch. Derek jumps and she grins as she starts massaging him with her foot. Feeling himself immediately harden, he grabs her foot and moves it to his thigh. He tickles the bottom of her foot and she giggles. She tries to sound innocent as she asks, "Not what you had in mind?"

Just then their waiter walks up to the table and inquires, "Can I bring you a dessert menu?"

"No thank you," Meredith answers with a barely suppressed giggle.

"Just the check," Derek interjects - wanting to get Meredith alone as quickly as possible.

"Of course," the waiter replies and walks away.

They take care of the bill and walk across the hotel lobby to the elevators. Once they're inside and moving toward their floor Meredith throws herself into Derek's arms and starts kissing him like there's no tomorrow. He shoves his hands in her honey colored hair and pushes her against the elevator wall. She slides her tongue inside his mouth to silkily mate with his.

They hear the bell ding and pull apart as the doors open and an elderly couple step onto the elevator with them. They keep their arms wrapped around one another and Derek nuzzles his nose in Meredith's hair as they ride the rest of the way to their floor. As they exit the elevator, they hear the woman sigh and say to her husband, "They must be newlyweds."

Derek's heart jolts nervously but then relaxes when Meredith giggles again and hurries them down the hall. As soon as they're inside they both start to remove clothes as they kiss and grope their way to the bed. They fall onto it and roll around as they enthusiastically kiss, touch, lick and taste one another. He slides into her and she rolls so she's on top of him. Then she rides him like he's one of the waves outside. Within minutes, they're both crashing around one another in orgasmic relief.

After panting their way back to earth, Meredith giggles and says, "That's the way to start a vacation."


	25. Vacationing in Maui (Part 2)

_Chapter 25: Vacationing in Maui (Part 2) _

Meredith stretches as she comes out of a deep slumber. She feels a moment of confusion as to her whereabouts but then grins, remembering that she is on vacation. In Maui with Derek. she giggles as she thinks about how much time she spent on him the night before. She opens her eyes and the smile she's wearing turns to a frown when Derek isn't in bed with her. She sits up, the sheet falling to her waist and pouts. Where is he?

Then she sees him sitting on the balcony. She scrunches her nose trying to remember the Hawaiian word for balcony or patio. Oh yeah, she remembers as she gets up and grabs the flimsy, light green silk robe she'd purchased just for this trip. The balcony is called a lanai. So, she yawns and wanders out to the lanai and sits down beside Derek. "Good morning, baby." she says and reaches for his nearly empty coffee cup.

"Good afternoon, baby." he grins and laughs as she chokes on the cold coffee she'd just swallowed.

"It's not afternoon," she protests.

"It was eleven when I got up. It feels like that was quite a while ago."

Meredith goes inside to glance at a clock and comes back outside. "It's twelve-thirty. In the afternoon. Why didn't you wake me up? I slept for over ten hours. I never do that."

"Meredith," Derek says with a laugh. "You're on vacation. Remember? You're supposed to get ridiculous amounts of sleep on your vacation."

"Okay." Meredith giggles as she leans over to kiss him. "What else am I supposed to do on vacation?"

"You know - normal vacation stuff. Have lots of sex. Eat too much, drink too much. Try something new," he finishes as he pulls her into his lap and nuzzles her neck.

"It sounds fabulous," she replies, curling into him. "I think I've been missing out all these years."

"What do you mean, 'missing out'?"

"I've never had a real vacation like this and especially never anything like you just described. I've taken a few days off here and there. When my mom was alive - and lucid - every few years we'd spend those few days together. Usually doing something she considered cultural or educational."

Derek sighs and squeezes her tight. Then says, "While I have nothing against culture and education - what you just described is fucking dismal - not a vacation."

"People wonder why I'm a workaholic," she giggles. "If this trip really is what you just described - lots of sex and excessive amounts of food, drink and doing new things - I'm going to want to do this again."

Derek pulls her face to his and gives her a soft, lingering kiss that makes her glad to already be sitting down. He then whispers, "I promise, it'll be all that and more. We can take many vacations together."

"Okay!" she replies, feeling content sitting with her arms wrapped around his shoulders. She turns to look out at the Pacific Ocean. "It's really beautiful here," she sighs.

"Tell me about it," Derek states.

"Oh," she tenses up - feeling like a jerk for her comment.

"Don't Mer," he says, rubbing her back until she relaxes in his arms again. "You can't feel bad for enjoying what you see - just share it with me."

"Okay," she says around the sudden lump in her throat. "What do you want to know?"

"I want to know exactly what you see," he answers in a low voice. "I can hear the waves crashing on the beach and the wind in the trees. I can feel that it's warm and slightly humid out here. I can taste the salt and smell tanning lotion from somewhere - I'm guessing people on the beach."

Meredith swallows a couple of times to control the urge she feels to cry. She moves in his lap so that she's sitting with her back directly to his front. She wraps his left arm around her waist and takes his right hand in her right hand and lifts it - up and over to the left of their bodies. And then she pulls it slowly back to the right as far as she can reach and whispers, "I see the ocean spanning this far and more. It's amazing - it seems to go on forever. The blues in the water are like nothing I've ever seen. Dark blues mixed with light blues and the sun shining across the surface. And when the waves crash on the beach it's a huge splash of vivid, clean white. Then the white lazily recedes back into the blue - just to do it again."

Derek places his head on her shoulder and his cheek right next to hers. He wraps his arms tightly around her and listens to her whispered words with his eyes closed - seeing her descriptions perfectly in his mind.

"The sand," Meredith continues, relaxing into him as she speaks. "The sand is a really light color. It's almost white, but not quite. I can tell you from yesterday that it's the softest sand I've ever felt. It's the consistency of finely spun flour. From here - the sand sparkles like it's filled with hidden jewels. I know it's minute pieces of sea shell but it's beautiful. And you're right about the fact that there are palm trees and people on the beach. The palm trees are - well, palm trees."

Derek laughs at that and says, "Yeah, palm trees aren't very interesting."

Meredith giggles and continues, "There are a few kids down and over to the right building sand castles with their parents. Some people seem to be sleeping while baking themselves and others are reading books. And the common theme among them is color. Brightly colored towels, bathing suits and a few sun umbrellas. There's blue, pink, red, yellow and even some green. They all seem so happy and relaxed but that's a good thing considering they must be on vacation, too."

Derek pushes Meredith up and then pulls her back onto his lap so she's straddling him and facing him. He leans up and kisses her for a really long time. The kiss is full of passion and longing. Meredith moans into his mouth and pushes herself more tightly to him and Derek breaks the kiss.

"Marry me." he says quietly.

* * *

"What?" Meredith says surprisingly.

"Marry me." he repeats and to his astonishment she starts laughing and giving little kisses all over his face. He hugs her tightly and asks, "Is that a 'yes'?"

"Yes." she answers. "Yes Derek, I will marry you." Meredith kisses him again - a quick little peck on the lips. Then she pulls back again and giggles. "I was trying to think of the best way to ask you about us living together when the lease is up on my apartment."

He teases her, "Oh, you want to live together? You don't want to be a married couple living at separate residences?"

"Very funny," she replies. "Derek, we're engaged," she giggles.

"We're almost engaged."

"What? You asked, I said yes, we're engaged."

"Almost," he says again and kisses her as he gets up and carefully carries her inside. He deposits her on the bed with a bouncing flop and she laughs.

"I get it - there has to be engagement sex before it's official."

Derek makes a little acknowledging sound as he pulls open the nightstand drawer and pulls out a little velvet box and sits on the bed with her. "You need this - then the engagement will be official," he says as he opens the little box for her to see the sparkling ring inside.

"Oh my God!" Meredith sighs as tears fill her eyes. "You had this planned!"

"I knew I wanted to ask you here in Maui when the time was right."

"I mean, asking me to marry you wasn't a spur of the moment thing. You knew in Seattle. You bought a ring…"

"Does it matter?" Derek asks. "Would you have said no if you knew I had bought the ring already - with the intention of asking you here?"

"Of course, it wouldn't make a difference. The ring is absolutely gorgeous, Derek!"

"I'm glad you like it," he answers with a grin as he pulls it from the box and carefully slips it on her finger. "Lexie will be pleased that we chose well."

"Lexie helped you pick it out?"

"Yes! Thank God she did. Mark was originally going to go with me, but then Kathleen freaked me out with stuff about the 4 c's."

"The 4 what?"

"Exactly," Derek laughs and kisses her. "So yeah, Lexie went ring shopping with me. What you're wearing is a 1.25 carat, princess cut, solitaire diamond set in platinum. I know I'm missing a couple of the c's but Lexie assured me…"

"It's perfect!" Meredith interrupts Derek. "It's beautiful, sparkly and most important - it's from you, and a symbol of the life we want together. I'm not worried about the 4 c's stuff." She leans forward and places her hands on the sides of his face. She gently kisses him, lingering. Then whispers, "I think it's customary to have newly engaged sex."

Derek laughs and pushes her back on the bed. They take their time loving one another - both blissfully happy.


	26. Let's Get Married

_Chapter 26: Let's Get Married_

"Derek," Meredith says excitedly as she bursts back into their hotel room later that afternoon. "Are you awake?"

"If I wasn't, I am now," he answers with a laugh.

"Did you have a good nap?"

"It would've been better if you'd been here, but you were to antsy to sleep. You had to go for a walk on the beach. You…"

"Let's get married," she interrupts with a giggle as she throws herself into his arms.

Derek's breath whooshes out of him and he wraps his arms around his beautiful fiancée. He holds her tight and laughs when he can. Then says, "I think our ensuing wedding was established this morning when you accepted that rock on your finger."

"True," she giggles, "What I mean is now. Maybe not right this minute but while we're here in Maui. Let's turn this vacation into our honeymoon."

After a few moments of shocked silence, Derek asks, "Are you serious?"

"Yes," she answers with conviction and kisses him firmly. "If you really hate the idea, I'll let it go, but I really love the idea."

"Really? What about the planning? The guests, a reception, a cake and all of whatever goes along with a wedding? Don't you want all that?"

"It's not that I don't want any of it - I just don't want all of it. What do you want, Derek? This is our wedding, not just mine."

"I want you to be my wife and I want you to be happy. I don't really care what kind of wedding we have as long as we have one and you're pleased with it."

"Okay," Meredith says with a giggle and kisses him again. "I want to get married here. I can't imagine planning a wedding during my Fellowship and I don't really want to plan one anyway. I also don't want to wait to be married to you. I checked, and we can apply for a marriage license at the courthouse. Also, they perform weddings here in the resort."

"You've been busy," he laughs.

"I have," she answers. "My only concern is our family and friends. Do you think they'll be pissed if we do this?"

"Maybe," he answers with a nod. "We'll make a bunch of phone calls to let people know what we want to do. Tell them if they want to - and if they can - to come next weekend for our wedding."

"Then we'll have eight days for our honeymoon." Meredith giggles.

"Yeah," he laughs.

They both grab their cell phones and start making phone calls. Everyone is completely thrilled about their engagement. And surprisingly, no one bitches about them wanting to get married while in Maui. Molly and Lexie - who Meredith had a three-way call with - want to give them a reception when they get back. Meredith and Derek accept and suggest that Kathleen will want to help them plan it. Naturally, she does. Mark tells Derek there's no way he'd miss the wedding. Everyone else either knows they can't make it or has to check and get back to them.

"We're getting married next week," Derek announces proudly at the end of his last phone call.

"We are," laughs Meredith as she jumps on Derek and kisses him loud and enthusiastically.

* * *

"Hello Dr. Bailey."

"What do you want?" she snaps as she slams a chart shut and turns to the man beside her.

"I - umm… well," the tall man sputters.

"Spit it out, Sloan."

"Jesus, I'm trying. You are scary at times. Do you know that?"

"I'm scary all the time," she retorts. "Unless you get to the point - I'm walking away now."

"Are you going to be able to make it to Maui for Derek and Meredith's wedding?"

Mark was looking directly at Bailey and still couldn't believe the transformation before him. Everything about her relaxes, her eyes go soft and she gives him a real, huge and genuine smile.

"You have such a soft spot for Shep," Mark states with a smile of his own.

"I do," Bailey agrees. "He's the older brother I never had."

"Yeah," Mark agrees. "I'm glad he and Meredith found one another."

"Me too. And yes, I'm going to Maui. I had to pitch a royal fit with the Chief, but he finally relented and gave me three days. I don't know if Tucker and the kids will go, though. It might just be a mini-vacation for Mama."

"Well Mama," Mark says with a huge charming grin, "I'll be happy to be your escort for the wedding."

"I'll take you up on that if my husband doesn't go," Bailey answers and turns to walk away. She turns back and calls, "Sloan?"

"Yes?"

"Don't ever call me 'Mama' again."

"Yes Dr. Bailey," Mark grins and turns to walk down the hall.

Bailey shakes her head but smiles and walks in the other direction.


	27. What Happened with Her?

_Chapter 27: What Happened with Her?_

"Dr. Grey?"

"Yes Chief?" Lexie answers and stops the charting she's doing in the pit.

"Why haven't you asked me about going to Maui for your sister's wedding?"

"Well Sir," Lexie begins, "I'm an intern - I really didn't think you'd give me the time off to go."

"Don't you want to go?"

"Of course, I want to go. As you said, Meredith is my sister."

"This is a damned inconvenience," he snaps. "They couldn't be normal people and get married at home?"

Lexie swallows nervously. She takes a deep breath and says, "Sir, I don't need to go. My sister - umm… mine and Meredith's other sister - Molly. We're planning a Reception for Mer and Derek for when they get back. I'm fine with that - really."

"Is Molly going?"

"I don't know," Lexie stammers. "I mean, probably not, but I don't know for sure. She has a family - her husband, and two small children."

"Well hell," the Chief snaps. "Meredith can't get married without any family there! Her mom is gone, your dad is gone, your other sister isn't going." He sighs again, loud and irritated. "Grey," he snaps, "You're going to Maui for your sisters' wedding."

"Thank you, Sir," Lexie states with a huge grin.

"You have three days - Friday, Saturday and Sunday. That's it - you leave from here for the airport and when you get back you come straight here."

"Yes Sir," Lexie beams, barely resisting the urge to jump up and down in excitement. "I'll sleep on the plane. It won't be a problem."

"It better not be." Chief Webber says and walks away.

* * *

"I can't believe Cristina is actually going to try to come out for our wedding," Meredith says and then giggles.

"What's funny?" Derek asks while he enjoys feeling Meredith rub the sunscreen into his back.

"Wedding," Meredith answers as she continues to rub the lotion in a massaging manner. "I still can't believe we're actually going to get married here. Next week. It's just kind of amazing."

Derek rolls over and pulls her down on top of him.

"Hey," she protests, "I just finished putting the sunscreen on you."

"So, you can do it again," he answers and kisses her.

"Do you think we'll always kiss so much?" Meredith asks and causes Derek to laugh.

"I hope so," he answers. "And us getting married really is amazing. I'd moved beyond the idea of marriage."

"I never thought about it," Meredith states.

"Ever?"

"Not really," Meredith answers. "I figured I'd be like my mom - married to my career. It seems weird that we've never had this discussion."

"Not really," Derek says with a shrug. "Things - including topics of conversation - happen when they're supposed to."

"Yeah," Meredith sighs. "Did you always know you wanted to get married?"

Derek absently plays with her hair and answers seriously, "My mom and dad had an amazing marriage. I saw the way they were together while I was growing up and knew I'd never want anything less. I almost blew that once - being involved with the wrong person."

"How involved?"

"I never asked her to marry me, but we were together for six years."

"Six years? And you never wanted to marry her?"

"No," Derek answers with a shake of his head. "And it pissed her off. Understandable - I suppose. Addison and I definitely had things in common. We were both career driven and come from high profile, east coast families. She thought that was a good foundation for a life together and I didn't."

"So, what happened?" Meredith asks, sitting up but staying next to him.

"I lost my sight," Derek answers.

"What?" Meredith asks, feeling her irrational jealousy replaced with anger.

"It was a messy situation, and, in the end, she didn't want to be with me anymore."

"Because you lost your sight?" Meredith asks in a whisper.

"That and I really was an asshole to her at the end. I basically drove her away," Derek answers.

"That's crap," Meredith says angrily. "If she really loved you, she would've stuck by you!"

"Exactly," Derek says with a huge grin on his face.

"You find it humorous?"

"Yes. I'm glad Addison left. You and I found one another, and I don't question our love at all."

"Oh," Meredith answers, a slow smile crossing her face as the anger drains from her. "When you put it that way…"

"Things happen the way they're supposed to," he says again.

"Thankfully," Meredith answers moving to lay beside Derek.


	28. Our Friends Are Here

_Chapter 28: Our Friends Are Here_

"Why are you so quiet?" Derek asks Meredith. They're sitting on the lanai having breakfast - as they have every morning.

"I'm thinking that tomorrow afternoon we'll be married," she answers.

"And that has you sounding melancholy?"

"I'm thrilled that we're getting married tomorrow, Derek. I just wish…" she trails off and sighs. Then she says, "Never mind, it's silly."

"I doubt it," he states. "What's wrong?"

She takes a drink of coffee, fiddles with her spoon and then starts breaking the barely-eaten croissant on her plate into small pieces.

"Mer?"

"I know getting married here was my idea," she finally says. "And I still want to do it this way. I'm touched and happy that Mark, Bailey, Kathleen and her family are coming but," she trails off again when her voice hitches and tears gather in her eyes.

Derek reaches out and pulls her into his arms. "You wish Lexie, Molly and her family were coming, too."

"Yes. I even wish Cristina was coming." Meredith whispers into his shoulder. "I'm a selfish ass."

"No, you aren't," he says and rubs her back.

"I am," she insists. "I'm lucky as hell to be marrying you. And here, in this gorgeous paradise and I'm whining and feeling sorry for myself."

"Meredith," Derek says softly and is interrupted by a loud knock at the door.

"I'll go," she says and gets up from his lap to go inside. She looks through the peephole in the door and literally squeals in delight and flings the door open.

"Surprise!" chorus Lexie and Molly as they throw their arms around their sister.

Cristina appears from the side and says, "You have a hell of a nerve getting married thousands of miles from home."

"You made it," Meredith laughs and throws her arms around her friend.

"Okay," Cristina pats Meredith's back awkwardly. "Let go now."

Meredith pulls her sisters and friend into the room and shuts the door. "I can't believe you're all here. I was just whining to Derek and wishing you all could come out."

"Yeah well," Cristina shrugs it off and turns toward the lanai. "Hi Derek."

"Hi," a grinning Derek says from the lanai door.

"Derek, did you know they were coming?"

"I knew about Lexie," he answers as she goes over to hug him. "Molly and Cristina are a surprise to me, too."

"What are you wearing for your wedding?" Lexie asks.

"Clothes," Meredith replies and Cristina laughs.

"You need a dress," Molly insists.

"No, I don't. We're getting married on the beach. I don't need or want a fancy dress."

"We're going shopping for a dress," Molly and Lexie say together.

"I hate shopping."

"I'm going down to the beach," Cristina says.

"Hey," Meredith protests.

"I hate shopping too," Cristina says. "And you're the one who wants to get married on this island. I didn't fly all this way to go to a mall. I'm going to the beach and I'll meet up with all of you later for dinner."

"Derek help," Meredith loudly whispers to him.

"Go with your sisters," Derek laughs. "You wanted them and now they're here."

"You can go home if you're going to torture me with shopping," Meredith sulks.

In the end, Meredith is dragged off to shop for a dress. Cristina goes to the beach. Derek puts a book on a CD to listen to while he waits for his family and friends to arrive.

* * *

Derek is in the hotel bar having drinks with Mark when Meredith calls him.

"Hi Mer," he answers with a smile. "How was shopping?"

"Hi. It was fine, I guess. Where are you?"

He laughs and tells her he's with Mark.

"Okay," she says. "Can you come to our room for a bit before dinner?"

"Why? Are you okay?" Derek asks.

"I'm fine," Meredith mumbles. "Except for the fact that my sisters claim I can't come back to our room after dinner tonight."

"What? That's stupid. Why?"

"I don't know," she sighs. "Some damn thing about the bride and groom not being together the night before the wedding."

"That sounds dumb."

"I know, but they're insisting, and I don't know how to get out of it. And they did fly all this way. So, please?"

Derek laughs and agrees. He tells Mark what's going on. "You're whipped," Mark says.

"I'm not whipped, idiot. It's called love and respect."

"Fine," Mark sighs. "I want to pick-up on hula dancers, anyway.


	29. Wedding Day

_Chapter 29: Wedding Day_

_It's my wedding day and life changes now._ That was Meredith's first thought the next morning when she woke up. She is wide awake and it's only eight. She gets up and notices that Lexie and Molly are still sleeping. She grabs her cell phone and sneaks out onto the balcony to call Derek.

"Good morning," he answers after only two rings.

"Hi," she sighs happily into the phone and giggles again. "We're getting married today."

"We are," he answers with a chuckle of his own. "I missed you last night."

"I know, I missed you, too. These wedding superstitions are kind of lame."

"So, come have coffee with me."

"And say what - exactly - to my sisters when they wake up and I'm not here? The first thing they'll do is come bang on our door and read me the riot act."

"I thought you said the superstitions are lame," he teases.

"They are, but the wrath of well-intentioned sisters is all too real. As much as I want to come have our morning coffee on the lanai - I am not in the mood to deal with angry sisters."

Derek laughs and then says, "I love you Meredith Grey."

"Soon-to-be-Shepherd," she answers with another giggle. "I love you too, Derek."

"Mer," he says, with a slight tinge of awe in his voice, "are you really changing your name?"

"Yes," she answers. "I know it sounds a bit old-fashioned, but I want people to know we're married. And I feel like it shows respect for our marriage for me to take your name. Does that sound stupid? Especially for a surgeon?"

"No, it doesn't sound stupid at all. Thank you. I know it's just a name, but I feel strangely humbled by your decision."

"You're welcome."

"Meredith?" comes Molly's voice from inside the room.

"I have to go. Molly's awake," she says to Derek.

"Bye," he laughs, "Have fun."

"Okay, bye."

* * *

"Lexie, please go get Derek." Meredith asked anxiously.

"What?" Lexie and Molly ask together.

"I asked you to please go get Derek. This doesn't feel right to me."

"Oh Mer," Molly says gently, "it's completely normal to feel jittery right before the ceremony."

"I don't feel jittery at all," Meredith says. "I'm completely calm and happy about marrying Derek."

"I'm confused. You just said this doesn't feel right," Lexie states.

"Lex, how do you suppose Derek feels right now? Waiting out there for me to walk in but he can't see me? Do you think it's right that everyone else knows how I look in this dress, but he doesn't?" Meredith has tears pooling in her eyes as she speaks to her sisters.

"We're sorry," Molly states. "We didn't think about that."

"It's okay," she says. "You don't have too but I do. He's mine. I have to - want to - think about how he feels. I went along with staying away from Derek last night but now we're about to get married. I went along with the superstitious part. Now, the ceremony has to happen in a way Derek, and I are both comfortable with. So please, bring him to me and then let the minister know we'll be coming in together in a few minutes."

Molly and Lexie hug Meredith and leave the little room. Molly tells the other eight guests that all is well while Lexie takes Derek to Meredith and then leaves them alone.

"Mer," Derek says as she wraps her arms around him. "What's going on?"

"It just didn't feel right Derek," she says as she takes his hands in hers and brings them up to her hair. "You should see me before everyone else."

Derek gives a sound of surprise as his throat tightens in emotional response. "Thank you," he whispers as he runs his hands through her lose and wavy hair, down her bare neck and collarbone, over the spaghetti straps of her dress.

"I love you," he says, feeling the way her dress dips and gathers but covers an appropriate amount of her breasts with fabric and beads.

"I love you too," she whispers in response as tiny little goose bumps of emotion cover her skin. "I promise that I always will."

"I know," he says, trailing his hands over all of the soft, exposed skin of her back. "I promise to always cherish every inch of you."

"I promise to always make sure you see the world."

"I already do," he answers, dropping to his knees and wrapping his arms around her waist. "I see everything clearly and vividly again with you in my life."

Meredith has tears falling down her cheeks as Derek trails his hands down the rest of her dress and to her legs. He traces down her calves and chuckles at her bare feet.

"We're having a beach wedding," she giggles. "You should go bare foot, too."

"Okay," he laughs and removes his socks and shoes. "Did you paint your toenails, too?"

"Of course," she giggles. "They're a bright coral color called 'Maui Sunset.'"

This causes Derek to erupt in laughter as he gets back up and offers Meredith his arm to go get married. "You're beautiful," he tells her before they leave the room.

"Thank you," she answers, believing it deeply since he's the one telling her.

* * *

Though it is not traditional, Derek took Meredith's arm in the crook of his elbow and guided her down the aisle as he listened to the verbal cues, she was giving him. Once Derek and Meredith reached the end of the aisle, the ceremony began.

Gabriel, the officiate said,

"Dearly beloved, we meet here today to witness a sacred ceremony: the union of Meredith and Derek. With great reverence, we come together to celebrate the love and devotion shared by these two children of God that stand before us. We are especially blessed to be joined today by family and friends. The Bride and Groom are honored you could be here to participate in this important occasion. As the Bible reminds us in Corinthians, "If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. Over the course of their relationship, Meredith and Derek have developed a strong bond based on shared values and mutual respect. With a solid foundation from which to grow, they have made the decision to take the oath of marriage and spend the rest of their lives together. Let us revel in the joy and love on display here today. May we treasure these memories as Meredith and Derek, Under the eyes of God, get set to begin their new life together."

The ceremony continued with family blessing, the wedding, and consecration. Finally, it was time to move onto the vows.

The officiate said, "Meredith and Derek, I invite you to express your sacred vows to one another. Please face each other as you declare these vows before God and in the presence of your family and friends. Meredith, you may start; Derek will follow."

"Derek, I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you and to always hold you in the highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life." Meredith says with tears in her eyes.

"I, Derek, pledge my undying love to you, Meredith, as I invite you to share my life. I promise to be kind, unselfish, respectful, and trustworthy so that together, our dreams of a beautiful future can come true. To this end I call upon all present to witness that I take you to be my wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live."

The officiate continues… "Meredith, do you take Derek to be your husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live."

"I do." Meredith says happily.

The officiate continues… Derek, although you've already said it, do you take Meredith to be your wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live."

"I do." Derek said happily.

The officiate faced the guests and yells happily, "It is my great pleasure to introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Derek Christopher William Shephard! Derek, you may now kiss your bride.

* * *

**I added the section about the wedding ceremony, please let me know you think?**

**\- Cheyenne**


	30. Wedding Night

_Chapter 30: Wedding Night_

Meredith is nervous. She is gut-wrenching nervous and it's really, really silly to be this nervous but she is. And she doesn't know what to do about it. She's happy to be married and ridiculously in love with her husband. And yet here she is - a jittery ball of nerves - hiding out in the bathroom on their wedding night.

Maybe this is normal. The day had been perfect and she wants the night to be perfect, too. She's already brushed her hair and teeth, sprayed on the body splash she knows Derek likes and she is wearing the lingerie Molly had insisted she needed to buy. Actually, the lingerie is silky, barely there and Derek will definitely like it. If she could convince her silly-ass, nervous self to leave the bathroom.

"Meredith?" Derek calls, turning the doorknob, surprised that it's locked. "Are you okay?"

"Derek, I ah…" she trails off and takes a deep breath.

"Mer, what's wrong? Open the door."

She opens the door and goes immediately into his arms. "I'm sorry. Nothing's wrong. Not really - I mean, it's stupid."

He tilts her face up to his for a soft kiss and then asks again, "What's wrong?"

"I'm nervous," she whispers.

"What?" he grins and fakes a cough to try to cover his chuckle.

Her husband's reaction starts to calm her and Meredith pokes him in the ribs and replies, "I said I'm nervous."

Derek laughs, he can't help it. "Why are you nervous?" he asks as he pulls her with him toward the bed.

"Today was beautiful and perfect. I just want tonight to be the same way."

"Okay," Derek replies as he falls onto the bed and pulls her on top of him. "We're on Maui, we're married. You're my amazing and beautiful wife." He's running his hands over her and groans a little then continues, "And you're wearing something skimpy and slippery. How is this anything other than perfect?"

"When you put it that way..' Meredith giggles and leans down to kiss him as she feels her nervousness shift to excitement. She grinds herself against him and feels him immediately get hard.

He runs his hands over her silk-clad butt and up her back. She leans down to swirl her tongue around his nipples and he feels some silky material and a lot of skin against his chest. Derek runs his hands over the rest of her and gasps, "Jeez Mer, there's really not a lot to this thing, is there."

"No," she giggles and sits up to straddle him and pull his hands up the front of her. "This is all about easy access."

He groans again and with a couple of tugs has her naked except for the panties. Meredith rids Derek of his boxers and all that's between them is the nothing scrap of silk between her legs. He runs his thumb over the silk, feeling her twitch against him as she runs her nails down his chest. They continue their game of torturous pleasure and Derek whispers hoarsely, "You're wet already."

"I know," she gasps, leaning down to kiss and bite his lips urgently.

Derek flips them over so she's pinned beneath him. He kisses her deeply, hungrily as he grinds against her. He wants to make this last since it is their wedding night. "God Meredith," he groans when she tangles her fingers in the back of his hair and pulls while kissing him in return.

"I need you now," she demands, thrusting herself against him.

Making it last is a forgotten thought for Derek as he reaches down to remove the tiny panties. He thinks they might've ripped but doesn't care as he thrusts into her and she wraps her long legs securely around him. Derek threads his hands with her and holds them above her head. He leans down and kisses her softly and stills his body as he's buried deep inside her. They are truly one, connected in every way: body, mind, heart and soul.

Finally the kiss breaks and Derek whispers, "You're mine," as he thrusts into her slowly.

"Yes," she agrees, matching his slow rhythm. "And you're mine, too."

They move with one another. Slowly, building up the other's desire until it's almost painful. And finally, blissfully they fall over the edge into orgasmic delight. When they come back to earth, Derek whispers, "You're my wife."

"I am," she giggles as she gets comfortable and cuddles next to him.

"I love you" he states, stroking her hair.

"I love you too husband," she answers with a contented smile on her face.

* * *

"Mer."

She hears him softly calling her name but tries to stay asleep for a little longer. She's much too comfortable and much too warm and cozy to want to actually get out of bed. Turning slightly, she burrows her face into his neck and wraps her arms around him.

"Mer," he whispers again and trails his fingers lazily up her naked back. She gives a little shiver of pleasure and the sleep induced haze in her brain begins to clear. "Good morning," she mumbles and kisses his shoulder.

"Good morning Mrs. Shepherd," he replies, moving to kiss her lips.

"You're the only person allowed to call me 'Mrs.," she says and smiles as she finally opens her eyes. She giggles and places lots of little kisses on his face.

"What's that for?" he asks with a grin.

"We're married," she states happily.

"We are," Derek laughs, hugging her close to him.

"So technically," she says, moving to lay on top of him, "we're on our honeymoon now."

His response is to thread his fingers in her hair and pull her face down to his for a hungry kiss. Their love and passion for one another immediately takes over to make their brains mutually fuzzy.

They are interrupted by a loud knocking on the door.

"What the hell?" Derek mumbles, agitated.

"Get out of bed horny newlyweds," Mark shouts through the door.

Meredith groans and rolls off of Derek. She asks, "Will he shut up and go away if we ignore him?"

"Yeah right," Derek replies as he gets out of bed and puts on a robe to go deal with his friend. He opens the door and snaps, "What do you want?"

"Good morning to you too," Mark replies and then laughs as Derek simply scowls at him. Enjoying himself, Mark yells into the room, "Good morning Mrs. Shepherd!"

"It's Dr. Shepherd," Meredith yells back. "What do you want?"

Mark laughs again and replies, "The girls didn't think you'd remember about brunch. Apparently they were right. Anyway, I volunteered to come remind you. Before you get to start your honeymoon you get to spend the majority of today with us. You know, the people who flew thousands of miles to be here with you.."

"We'll meet you in the restaurant," Derek says, starting to shut the door.

"You have thirty minutes," Mark says with another laugh as the door closes.

Meredith hugs her husband on the way to the shower. "Did you remember about today?"

"No," Derek sighs heavily. "I suck as a brother and a friend because I forgot they were here."

"Me too," Meredith giggles, turning on the water. "Want to join me for a shower before we go downstairs?"

"I better not. We'll definitely be late if I do."

"Really?" Meredith asks innocently as she kisses him and then pulls a laughing Derek into the shower with her.


	31. Honeymoon

_Chapter 31: Honeymoon_

Meredith and Derek are late for brunch and take some good-natured teasing for it. Afterward they go down to the beach with their family and friends. Derek is having a conversation with David about the stock market when Kathleen pulls Meredith away to talk to her.

"Thank you."

"For what?" Meredith asks, a little confused.

"Giving my brother a chance."

"Oh," Meredith says, understanding exactly what Kathleen is saying. "I love him," she states simply, and feels her heart clench with the emotion.

"I know," Kathleen smiles and hugs Meredith tightly. "He loves you. So, like I said, 'thank you.' As cliché as it sounds, welcome to our family."

Meredith gives a little giggle and hugs her new sister-in-law tightly in return. Later that evening Derek and Meredith say goodbye to their loved ones. They go for a lazy stroll - hand in hand - along the beach. Meredith describes the sunset to Derek. Shortly after the sun makes its complete descent into the ocean, Meredith gives a little shiver.

"Cold?" Derek asks and nuzzles her neck.

"A little," she sighs.

"Do you want to go back now?"

"I was thinking room service for dinner and then all-night sex with my new husband."

"I think my new wife is a brilliant woman," Derek chuckles, helping her to her feet. They walk together - laughing, talking, stopping for kisses - back to their room. The door is barely shut before they're pulling at one another's clothing.

They tumble together on the bed and make leisurely love to each other. A long while later they order sandwiches and champagne from room service and eat naked in bed.

* * *

"Let's move here." Meredith sighs, stretching out next to her husband and kissing his naked chest.

"Why?" Derek laughs.

"Mainly because it's so beautiful here, but I also like the way I feel here."

"Really?" he asks, kissing her at the spot where her neck curves into her shoulder. The spot that never failed to elicit a response from her. "How do you feel here, Mer?"

She moves her neck to give him better access, enjoying the feel of his lips immensely. "I feel content," she sighs and leans in to kiss him softly on the lips. "Happy and content," she continues as his hands tangle in her hair. "Sexy, relaxed and well-loved," she says before hungrily deepening their kiss.

Derek kisses her for a long time and then pulls away to say, "You're supposed to feel all that on our honeymoon, Mer. It wouldn't be that way…."

"Shh," she whispers, biting his bottom lip, "No spoiling my fantasy."

"Okay," he chuckles and leans down to take one sensitive nipple in his mouth. "If we're living here you have to be naked all the time."

Meredith giggles but has nothing else to say as her husband's lovely mouth erases any thoughts from her sex-laden brain.

A long while later Derek says, "I don't want our honeymoon to be over either, baby."

"It's just," she sighs, "it's going to be a crazy year with my Fellowship."

"I know, but we'll get through it," he assures her.

"Yeah," she sighs again.

"Don't think about it," he kisses her quickly. "We still have a few days on our honeymoon. The real world does not exist right now."

"I like that," she giggles. "Let's come back here next year."

"After your Fellowship is complete?"

"Yes."

"I like that idea."

"Me too," she kisses him and gets up. "Let's go down to the beach. I want to swim in the ocean."

* * *

Meredith and Derek over hear some tourists talking about their snorkeling experience at Molokini crater at lunch the next day.

"You should go," Derek tells Meredith as they walk along the beach afterward.

"Go where?"

"Snorkeling," he laughs.

"I don't need to go snorkeling," she answers immediately, squeezing his hand in hers. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm perfectly content to spend lazy days on the beach with you."

Derek stops walking and pulls her into his arms to kiss her. "I have noticed," he replies when they're walking again. "It's just - Mer, we're on a tropical island. You should experience it."

"I am experiencing Maui, Derek. Exactly the way I want to - with you. We're on our honeymoon. Do you honestly believe I want to spend this time alone, away from you?"

"No," he sighs, but doesn't sound at all convincing.

"Do you need time away from me?" She asks, surprised to find the idea slightly painful.

"What?" he asks in shock. "No…"

"It's okay if you do. I'd understand. We're certainly not used to spending this amount of constant time together."

Derek sighs and pulls her into his arms again. He kisses the top of her head as they wrap their arms around one another. "Mer," he says, "I don't need or want time away from you. We're going to have more than enough of that over the next year. I just don't want you to have any regrets."

"Regrets? I have no regrets, Derek. If I wanted to snorkel at Molicrater I'd let you know, I promise."

"Molokini Crater," Derek laughs, feeling better.

"Whatever," Meredith shrugs and giggles. "It's swimming with fish, big deal. That doesn't matter to me but spending time with you does."

"Those people just made it sound really amazing and I don't want you to miss out because of me."

"I know, and I'm not. Besides, there's no guarantee of seeing anything spectacular under the water. You and I having a spectacular time together - that's a guarantee." She punctuates the end of her statement by kissing her husband senseless.

"I love you, Mrs. Shepherd."

"I know," she giggles. "Lucky for you - I love you too."


	32. Flying Home

_Chapter 32: Flying Home _

"You're quiet," Derek says, taking his wife's hand in his after the plane levels off to a cruising altitude.

Meredith puts her head on Derek's shoulder and sighs before answering, "I'm just sad to be leaving. Our honeymoon is over."

"I know," Derek replies, turning to kiss the top of her head.

"Also, I'm feeling a little out-of-sorts because I'm not excited about my Fellowship."

"You're not?" he asks in surprise.

"No. I always figured I would be. I thought I'd feel like I reached a pivotal point in my career. Now, all I can think about is how much time I'm going to be at the hospital. I'm actually obsessing about it."

"It's going to be all right, baby."

"You think so?"

"I know so," he states. "You're probably feeling this way because we just got married. Plus, you're understandably nervous about it. Once you get into the swing of things you'll be fine. I told you - this year will fly by because you'll be so busy."

"Thank you." she says and kisses him. "I feel better. What did I do right - to deserve you?"

"You came barreling around a corner and ran right into me," he teases.

"And fell on my ass in the process," she giggles.

"It's a perfect ass too," he says, nuzzling her neck and making her giggle some more.

Meredith has to push him away as she feels her heart lurching in her chest. "Stop, we have a long flight back to Seattle."

"You know, I've heard of this thing called 'The Mile High…."

"Not going to happen," she interrupts and laughs again.

"Are you sure?" he asks suggestively.

"I'm positive."

"It's a long flight," Derek says, putting his hand high on her thigh. "Maybe I can convince you."

Meredith just laughs - causing Derek to smile hugely.


	33. Tired But Missing You

_Chapter 33: Tired But Missing You_

Meredith turns off the engine of her car and then just leans her exhausted head back as the garage door shuts behind her. It was the first time she'd been home for seventy-two hours. She was two months into her Fellowship and could not even fathom how she was going to get through the rest of it.

"Mer?"

She smiles, the sound of her husband's voice has an immediate healing effect. She opens her eyes and gets out of the car to go and hug him.

"Hi," she says and lays her head on his shoulder.

"Hi." he whispers in return and wraps his arms around her waist. They stand there - in the doorway between the garage and the mudroom - simply holding one another for several long moments.

Meredith feels herself nodding off and musters enough energy to mumble, "Bed."

Derek chuckles and says, "I don't know if it was the best idea for you drive home in this condition."

"I know," she says around a yawn, moving toward their bedroom, "But I just couldn't stay at the hospital for another moment."

"Go get in bed," he says and kisses her tenderly. "I'll bring you some tea."

"I don't want any tea," she answers. "Can you just come lay down with me for a while."

"I don't know," he teases. "That might be a hardship."

Meredith giggles and walks with Derek to their room. She crawls into bed. He follows and pulls her into his arms. Within moments she is sound asleep - exactly where she wants to be.

Derek holds his wife while she sleeps. Her Fellowship is a lot harder than he expected it to be. He finds himself getting cranky about halfway through her marathon shifts. It's an odd - and somewhat humbling - sensation to miss her so much. He has also started feeling restless for the medical world again. He hasn't said anything to anyone yet, but he's starting to seriously consider the teaching position Richard had offered him...

* * *

Meredith opens her eyes after becoming aware of the fact that she's alone in bed and something smells sinfully good. She takes a deep breath and her stomach rumbles with hunger at the scent of fresh garlic and onions. She glances at the clock and sees that she's been asleep for six hours. She's still tired but she's also hungry and wants nothing more than to have dinner with her husband. Actually, there are other things she wants to do with - and to - him but dinner would be a great start. She stretches and gets out of bed to walk to the kitchen.

Derek senses her and turns as she walks in, "Hey, do you feel better?"

Meredith walks over and wraps her arms around him, "I do now."

"Me too," he admits, returning her embrace. "Are you hungry?"

"I'm starved," she giggles. "I swear, the hospital food is getting worse."

"I don't know if that's possible," he states with a shudder.

"What are you making?" Meredith asks, popping a baby carrot into her mouth. She turns to start washing vegetables for a salad.

"Seafood pasta," he replies, and smiles as she places a kiss on his cheek while reaching for a knife. "Does that sound good?"

"Yes, it does," she answers as her stomach rumbles yet again. They work together in companionable silence; touching or kissing at every opportunity.

When they sit down to eat Derek says, "Mer, I need you to make me a promise."

"Okay," she replies and sighs in pleasure with her first mouthful of pasta.

"Promise me that you'll never again drive as tired as you were earlier."

"Oh." Meredith sighs and swallows her food as a guilty lump forms in her throat. She puts her fork down and says, "I knew that was dumb when I did it, but I just wanted to get home."

"Exactly." Derek says and there's a bit of unintended snap in his voice. "As much as I love when you are at home with me - I'd prefer you stay alive."

Meredith moves from her spot at the table to hug Derek. "I'm sorry," she whispers, "I really didn't mean to worry you. From now on - if I'm that tired, I'll sleep for a few hours before driving home."

He pulls her into his lap and wraps his arms around her waist and squeezes tightly. "Okay," he answers" nuzzling his face into her hair and breathing her in. "I was trying to let it go…"

"Hey." she says and kisses him softly. "It's okay."

They hold one another for a little longer. Derek feels her stomach rumble again and laughs. "Finish eating." he says, giving her a little nudge back toward her chair, "Then I can take you back to bed."


	34. I've Been Considering

_Chapter 34: I've Been Considering…_

The next day, as they take a walk together on their property, Derek tells Meredith, "I've been strongly reconsidering Richard's offer to teach at the hospital."

Meredith is shocked to the point that she stops walking and just stares at him. After a prolonged silence Derek says, "You're going to have to give me something to go on here, babe. I can't tell if your silence is a good or bad reaction."

"That's interesting," she answers cautiously, "because you usually read me with an uncanny accuracy."

"I know." he sighs, "I'm feeling like a wall just went up between us."

"No." she assures him and takes his hand to start walking again. "There's no wall between us but your statement does come as quite a surprise to me. You were so incredibly adamant about not teaching medicine when the Chief made you the offer last year. What's changed?"

"Everything," he answers, a bit more gruffly than he intended.

Meredith gives a small laugh and asks, "Will you elaborate on 'everything'?"

"You know," Derek snaps and pulls his hand free from hers, "if you don't want me to do this - just say so!"

"What? No, that's not it at all, Derek. In fact, it's quite the opposite!"

Derek stops and turns back to her, an angry scowl on his face, "You certainly fooled me with your lackluster reaction."

She reaches out and takes his hand in hers again. She's encouraged when he doesn't pull away from her. "I don't mean to seem unenthusiastic…"

"You're hesitant," he interrupts.

"Are you going to let me finish speaking?"

"Finish," he grumbles, and she has to bite her cheek to keep from laughing at his sulkiness.

"I know you miss me when I spend hours and days at the hospital. I miss you too and on a completely selfish note I'd be thrilled to have you work and teach at the hospital because I wouldn't have to be away from you so much. So, what I'm wondering is this: Are you reconsidering the offer because you miss me or because you really miss medicine?"

"Are you questioning my integrity?"

"No," she sighs in frustration. "Derek, it's a valid question and I'm sure the Chief is going to ask you the same thing."

He was quiet for so long she didn't think he was going to answer. Finally, he replies, "It's equal…"

"Derek…"

He turns to her, smiles and says, "It's my turn to talk now."

"Fine." she replies with a giggle.

Derek leans down to quickly kiss her on the lips and then says, "It's true that working together would be a great perk. We certainly wouldn't miss one another as much but I really do miss practicing medicine. Everything has changed since Richard made the offer last year, Meredith. I believe in life again. I know I won't be able to cut but I feel like I can make a difference by teaching what I know. I also realize I won't be needed at the hospital all the time, but something is better than nothing. So, my motivations for wanting to accept Richard's offer - you and medicine - are equal. Of course, I don't know if the offer is still available."

"Why wouldn't it be? You have just as much to teach now as you did a year ago."

"Who knows if Richard will be accepting of the fact that you're as much a part of my motivation to teach as medicine. You know, I'm arrogant enough to admit that I want a hand in teaching you what I can about medicine, baby. You come home, study, and talk about procedures with me. You have a brilliant medical mind, you know."

"Thank you," she answers, actually blushing a little. Hearing the pride in her husband's voice is the best professional compliment she's ever received. "What if the Chief says you can teach me from home, and he doesn't have to pay you?"

Derek laughs, "You know him rather well."

"He's a Doctor, but he's also an administrator and he's going to think of the financial side of it. I'm sure your medical expertise doesn't come cheap."

"True and my answer would be that I'll be teaching more people than just you. Plus, there's a multitude of resources available at the hospital that aren't available here."

"You've really thought this through."

"I have," he answers, squeezing her hand. "I wanted to talk to you about it before I approach Richard."

"It'll work out," she states confidently.

"I hope so." Derek answers.


	35. Nervousness

_Chapter 35: Nervousness_

Don't be nervous," Meredith states, squeezing her husband's hand as they walk together into Seattle Grace.

"Easier said than done," Derek grumbles and heaves a huge sigh in an effort to appear calm. "Wait," he says to Meredith and squeezes her hand in return.

"Okay," she answers and moves off to the side in the lobby with him.

"I knew I wanted this Mer," he admits quietly to her. "It's really hitting me how much I want it. How much I need to practice medicine in some fashion again."

"Derek," she answers calmly, even though her heart is actually aching for him. "There's no choice but to take this one step at a time."

"I know," he replies and sighs again. "I know, but what if Richard turns me down. What if he tells me I had my chance and I blew it?"

"What if he does?" she challenges, knowing he needs her to be strong and not fall apart.

"I don't know," Derek answers honestly, vulnerably.

Meredith studies her husband for a few silent moments. Then she reaches up and adjusts his shirt collar, straightens his tie, and answers, "Then we find a hospital smart enough to hire you and allow you to teach, Derek."

"What?" he asks in shock. "No Meredith," he shakes his head vehemently, "No. I told you, me wanting to be with you and teach you is as big a part of this as me needing to teach the medicine."

"I'm sorry, wasn't I clear?" she asks and leans up to kiss him quickly, lightly on the lips. "It would have to be a hospital willing to hire me, too. After my Fellowship, obviously."

"Meredith…"

"No," she interrupts, "No protesting. You were willing to go with me to L.A when we thought my Fellowship was going to be at Cedars-Sinai. Now, we're married, and I love you. We're in this together, Derek."

He grins, feeling relieved. He leans down to kiss her then whispers, "I love you."

"I know," she giggles and moves them toward the elevator. "Now, go convince the Chief to hire you so we don't have to face the hassle of moving."

"Right away, Dr. Shepherd," he teases.

"Smart ass," she says, thankful they're the only two in the elevator.

"You like my ass."

"I do,' she agrees, "but that's a conversation for another time."

"Yeah, yeah," he says, walking with her down the hall. "I'm meeting Miranda after this, but I'll call you as soon as it's done."

"Okay," she answers. "I'll be prepping for a surgery that I have in two hours."

"I can't imagine that it'll take that long."

"I know," she replies and kisses him again. "Good luck."

"Thanks."

Meredith chews her lip nervously as Derek walks into the Chief's office. Then she turns and walks to the surgical floor - knowing she has to put it out of her mind and work. She checks her cell phone to make sure it's on and well-charged though, not wanting to miss Derek's call when it comes.

* * *

Meredith glances at her watch and sighs in nervous frustration. It's been close to an hour since she left Derek at the Chief's office and he hasn't called. Which means they're either still talking, or Derek didn't like the outcome and doesn't want to talk about it yet. Of course, if they're still talking that could also mean more than one thing. It could mean they're hashing out details about Derek teaching. It could also mean that Derek's trying to convince the Chief to hire him. Meredith so wants to go walk by the Chief's office and see if Derek's still in there, but she won't allow herself to do it. Her husband is a grown man - fully capable of handling his professional life. It would be absolutely pathetic if she hovered outside the Chief's office like a nervous mother hen. Even though that's exactly what she feels like.

Meredith jumps as her phone finally vibrates in her pocket. She pulls it out and opens it quickly upon seeing that it's Derek calling.

"What did he say?"

"What?" Derek laughs, "No 'hello' for your husband? No telling me how much you love…"

"Derek!"

"All right," he laughs again. "Richard is receptive to the idea of me teaching here. He wants to have a meeting with you and I together and then run everything by the Board."

Meredith waits for Derek to continue. When he doesn't, she asks, "That's it? It's been an hour! There's no way that took an hour, Derek. I've been a nervous wreck - you could've let me know something!"

"Mer," he interrupts, a smile in his voice. "Don't be mad. I'm sorry you were worrying but Richard just stepped out to get Miranda for me. We've been talking all this time - or rather he has. He was telling me about some stuff he and Adele are going through. I called you as soon as possible."

"Oh, sorry," Meredith mumbles. "Now, I feel stupid."

"Don't," Derek laughs again. "I love knowing you give a damn."

"Of course I do," she answers. "I still have an hour before surgery. Do you want to have coffee?"

"You do seem to enjoy asking me on coffee dates, Mrs. Shepherd."

"Yes or no?"

"Duh," he replies, and she laughs.

"I'll see you in a minute," Meredith says to him and hangs up to walk to the Chief's office.

* * *

When are you and Derek meeting with the Chief?" Lexie asks her sister many hours later.

"Next Wednesday," Meredith answers and then yawns. "Then the week after that the Chief will meet with the board."

"So realistically Derek could be working here in about two weeks."

"Yeah," Meredith answers with an involuntary grin. "I don't know if really will happen that fast, but it could."

"I'm glad you're happy about Derek possibly coming to teach here." Lexie states.

"Why wouldn't I be," Meredith questions with a slight frown.

"You should be happy about it." Lexie states quickly. "I was just worried you'd be a little sensitive about the situation. I mean, you were all about not mixing your personal and professional lives. You were…"

"Lex," Meredith interrupts her sister.

"Yeah?"

"I've changed a lot over the past year."

"I know," Lexie smiles and nods. "You're even friends with Cristina."

"Be nice," Meredith answers with her own smile. "I like Cristina."

"I know, you two are eerily similar."

"Anyway," Meredith says, rolling her eyes. "I'm really hoping the board approves Derek coming to teach here. For one thing, it's what he wants and needs. And for another," Meredith sighs, "I won't have to miss him so much because he'll be here."

"We should all be so lucky," Lexie states.

"What do you mean? You're dating Ryan from Radiology. I thought you said you like him."

"I do - a lot, actually. I just don't know if I'll ever love someone the way you love Derek."

"You will," Meredith states confidently, emphatically.

"I hope so," Lexie sighs.

"I know so," Meredith insists.

"Maybe."

"Hey," Meredith throws her arm around her sister. "You, Molly and I had a crappy dad. I believe that karma-wise we are now entitled to ever-lasting true love. Molly and I found ours - now it's your turn."

The sisters share a good, hard laugh. Then Lexie says, "You do realize how unscientific that sounds, right?"

"Of course," Meredith answers, "When you can explain love in scientific terms - you let me know."

With that she walks away. Leaving her sister to ponder karma and love.


	36. Talking to Richard

_Chapter 36: Talking to Richard_

Meredith could feel Derek's warm breath on her skin, his lips gently kissing her neck. The sleepy fog quickly cleared from her brain when his strong hands slipped under her tee shirt and grazed across her stomach and up to gently cup and caress her breasts. Meredith felt her husband's erection against her butt, and she pressed closer to him.

"You're awake," he whispers huskily into her ear.

"Mission accomplished." she giggles and reaches behind her to run her fingers up his warm, nicely muscled and naked thigh.

Derek groans and rolls Meredith over to kiss her properly. They continue to hungrily touch, kiss and taste one another awake. They love each other thoroughly and gratefully and then hold one another tightly while they doze a little longer. When their alarm clock rings Derek says, "You shower - I'll start some breakfast."

"Okay." Meredith sighs but doesn't move.

"We have to get up." Derek chuckles.

"I know." she answers, hugging him tighter.

Derek kisses her head and says," It'll be all right, babe."

"Today's the day we go talk to the Chief."

"As I said, it'll be all right."

"Then why does it feel like a trip to the Principal's office in junior high?"

"Go shower," Derek states with a laugh. Once she's in the bathroom he lets out a huge sigh of his own. The truth is - he's as nervous as his beautiful wife. He's just trying to be very nonchalant about it for her sake.

Derek gets up to go make some breakfast for them. After they eat, he'll take his shower and get ready to go to Seattle Grace with Meredith.

* * *

"You just had to do things your way, didn't you?" Richard stated.

"Nice way to start the conversation, Richard," laughs Derek, resisting the urge to reach over and grab Meredith's hand. He can feel the nerves humming off of her skin.

"Of course, we did," answers Meredith. She's forcing herself to be calm, cool and collected - even though she feels completely the opposite.

"Derek, you could have saved yourself - and Meredith - all the scrutiny and speculation of the board by just taking the job when I offered it to you a year ago," states Richard, slightly frustrated.

"I wasn't ready a year ago," Derek answers bluntly.

"I know," Richard sighs.

"Besides," Derek grins, "I would've fallen in love with Meredith anyway. Then there would've been all sorts of complicated crap about ethics and whether or not I was favoring her because I was sleeping with her."

"That's assuming I would've given you the time of day." Meredith grins. "You know, under those circumstances."

"You're disgusting," Richard says with a laugh, "The pair of you. The board is going to be very speculative as to whether or not you'll work well together. You're ready for that, right?"

"Yes," Derek and Meredith answer together.

"I would imagine the meeting will be a simple formality. There are plenty of instances where married doctors work together."

"True," concedes Richard, "but there are special circumstances in this case."

"Me being blind," Derek states.

"Whether or not he can effectively teach," Meredith adds.

"Yes," Richard answers with a sigh. "It stinks and technically they can't legally turn you down for having a disability. They will ask a lot of questions, though."

"They're overly conservative assholes." Derek says angrily.

"They are." Richard agrees. "You both have my support. I want you teaching here Derek, but I do have a question."

"What?"

"When was the last time you had one of your headaches?"

"Right before Maui - when I had the last round of testing done."

"Will that matter," Meredith asks.

"It may," Richard answers, "But on a personal level, I'm glad to hear there haven't been any more headaches."

"Thanks." Derek mumbles.

They talk for a while longer. Before Meredith and Derek leave Richard's office, he promises them his support again.

"I'm glad I have the day off," Meredith says as they drive away from Seattle Grace.

"Yeah," Derek grumbles.

Reaching over to grab and squeeze Derek's hand, Meredith says, "It'll be all right."

He laughs humorlessly, "Now you're trying to reassure me."

"Of course, you helped me this morning."

"I'm pissed," Derek admits.

"I know," Meredith answers. "You're a brilliant surgeon and the damn board shouldn't be able to keep you from teaching medicine if you want to."

"That," he nods, "Plus they have no right to delve into our personal life as Richard suggested they might do."

"They were willing to approve me a teaching position a year ago. Now that you and I are married they may sing a different tune. It's bullshit and it pisses me off!"

"I'm sorry," Meredith whispers as a knot of dread coils in her stomach.

"What?" Derek whips his head toward Meredith, hearing her tone of voice. "I'm not sorry - not one bit! I wouldn't change what we have for the world. I love you Meredith."

"I love you too," she replies, squeezing his hand again. "What if the board…"

"One step at a time," Derek interrupts.

"If they turn us down, we'll go somewhere else - like we said before."

"One step at a time,' Derek says again.

They're quiet for the rest of the drive. Each lost in their own thoughts.

* * *

Derek was brooding and it was making Meredith feel vaguely uneasy. Of course, she understood that he was upset about the pending meeting with the board, but she wasn't used to him being in a crappy mood. Even though she knew his mood had nothing to do with her - she still felt shut out. He was listening to a book-on-CD with headphones on.

She looks at her watch and realizes he's been shut-off for over two hours. Meredith pulled fresh vegetables from the fridge to make a salad to go with the fish she had baking. When dinner was ready, she was going to pull him out of his cave. She was even prepared for a fight if necessary. As Meredith set the food on the table, she heard her husband walk into the room.

"Hi," he says clearly and wraps his arms around her waist in a tight hug. "Something smells good."

"Hi," she answers into his chest as she squeezes him back. "It's baked trout, garlic bread and salad."

"Thank you for cooking," Derek says as he sits down at the table with her. "You didn't have to - especially considering my crappy mood the past couple of hours."

"Yeah well," she giggles, "I was about to come and haul your cranky ass out here. So, don't think I was going to put up with it for much longer."

Derek starts laughing really hard and Meredith smiles in relief as she puts food on both of their plates.

"I love you, Mer."

"I know and lucky for you the feeling is mutual."

They start eating and Derek compliments her on the food. Once they're done eating and have cleared the table, he asks her if she wants to have wine with him on the back patio. They go outside and sit together - quietly and peacefully enjoying the rare, clear night.

"I think Lexie may be falling for the guy she's dating."

"Really? I know you said she really likes him but what's changed to make you think it's more serious on her part?"

"It's a feeling more than anything else."

"Sisters intuition?" Derek asks as he threads his fingers with Meredith's, wanting to touch her. Needing the contact.

"Maybe," she answers and squeezes his hand in hers. "I'll call Molly tomorrow and see what she thinks about it."

Derek laughs and Meredith asks, "What?"

"Nothing," he answers and pulls her hand to his mouth to kiss. "Thank you for keeping things normal. I promise not to be too grouchy while we wait to talk to the board."

"Be as pissy as you want," Meredith shrugs. "Just try to do it while I'm at work."

Derek laughs again - completely at peace with his wonderful wife.


	37. Board Decision

_Chapter 37: Board Decision_

Once again, Meredith is nervously awaiting to hear from her husband. He's in the meeting with the Board while she's attempting to look busy and work. The truth of the matter is - it's a good thing she doesn't have a surgery right now because her mind is too preoccupied and jittery to do a patient on her table any real good. She had been irrationally put-off when the Board decided they didn't need her to be present in the meeting. Pompous assholes, she thinks and starts biting her nails while trying to read the chart in front of her. Again.

"That chart is going to grow feet and walk away from you if you keep glaring at it like that."

"Very funny Cristina," Meredith replies with a roll of her eyes.

"How long has Derek been in with the Board?"

"Fifty-five minutes," Meredith immediately answers.

"An hour really isn't bad, Mer. I'm sure they have a lot of questions for Derek. And expectations - if they've agreed to let him teach."

"Yeah," Meredith sighs. "I know you're right, but the waiting is hell."

"I know. Do you want to grab a coffee and go to the gallery to watch interns in surgery? We can bet on how badly they'll screw up."

Meredith laughs and shuts the chart, "You're mean but yes, let's go. I'll even buy the coffee."

"Okay,"

Meredith checks to make sure her phone is on vibrate before heading to the coffee cart with Cristina.

* * *

Meredith and Cristina are sitting in the gallery watching a basic craniotomy. Mer's pager vibrates in her pocket and she quickly takes it out.

"Is it Derek?" Cristina asks

"I don't know. Maybe. It's a page to the nurses station on two."

The two women say goodbye to one another, and Meredith takes the stairs to floor two. She comes out of the stairwell and grins as she sees her handsome husband leaning on the counter waiting for her.

"Hi," she says and wraps her arms around his waist in a tight hug.

"Hi," he answers with a smile as he returns her embrace. He whispers in her ear, "I seem to remember an on-call room nearby."

"Yes," she giggles, "that's true."

"Lead the way, Dr. Shepherd. I need to speak with you in private."

"Okay," she replies and puts her arm through his. Meredith is pleased to find the on-call room empty. She shuts the door behind them and turns, "What's going…"

Her sentence is cut off as Derek pulls her into his arms and covers her lips with his own. His tongue immediately demands entrance into her mouth and she willingly complies. He pushes her up against the door and presses his body tightly to hers.

"Derek," she says on a throaty moan because desire is already coursing through her body. "What did the Board say?"

"The Board approved," he answers and rubs against her. "I love you; Meredith and I want you. Now."

"I love you too," she answers and tugs on his tie as her body turns liquid with hot desire. "I want details."

"After."

"Yes. After," she agrees as his talented hands slip under her shirt and trail across her stomach. They love each other quickly, ravenously and thoroughly. They are careful to be quiet, though.

Meredith giggles as she's putting her clothes back on.

"What's funny?" Derek asks with a satisfied smirk on his face.

"On call room sex," she answers. "I know people have sex in here, but this was a first for me."

Derek leans down to kiss his wife and then replies, "Me too."

His admission makes Meredith happier than she'd already been feeling. "You promised me details from the meeting."

"I did," he nods. "I start on November first for a six-month trial period."

"What? Trial period?" She asks, her voice full of indignation.

"Mer." he sighs and reaches out to caress her cheek. "Don't be angry…"

"A trial period is insulting!"

"I asked for the trial period."

"Oh," she says, feeling the anger deflate from her body. "Why?"

"It seems like the right thing to do for myself and the hospital. I've been out of practice for five years. Now I'm coming back without my sight. There's really no way of knowing how this is all going to play out, Mer. The trial period is a safety net for all concerned parties."

Meredith sighs and wraps her arms around Derek in a loving and supportive embrace. "I love you."

"I know."

"You amaze me in a really spectacular way."

"I know." he says again then laughs when she pokes him in the ribs and calls him a smart-ass.

"Are you having lunch with Miranda?"

"Yes," he answers as he opens the door for her, and she proceeds him back into the hallway.

Meredith walks with Derek to Bailey's office then says goodbye to him before going to check on her patients again. She's thrilled that her husband is going to be coming to work at the hospital. She's also damn determined that all will work out quite well for him because she wants him here - and happy - all the time. Not just for six months.


	38. Slight Baby Blues

_Chapter 38: Slight Baby Blues_

Derek was starting work at the hospital next week and Meredith was a nervous wreck. She wants him to be happy and feel great about his decision. She wants the transition back into medicine to go flawlessly for him.

"Stop worrying about it."

Meredith is startled out of her reverie by Dr. Bailey's stern and no non-sense voice.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. "Bailey snaps. "Stop worrying about your husband. He'll transition back to this lifestyle like a pro."

"Am I that transparent?" Meredith asks with a sigh.

"No," Bailey answers after silently studying her former intern for a few moments. "It just doesn't take a rocket scientist to know what's had you pre-occupied and edgy lately."

"It just takes a genius surgeon." Meredith answers with a small smile.

"That's right," Bailey answers with a grin. Then, in a show of affection and support, Bailey touches Meredith's hand. "Derek will be fine. He has a lot of people on his side hoping for his success. We'll all do whatever is necessary."

"I know," Meredith says, and her eyes fill with tears. "Oh damn."

"Damn is right. Don't you dare cry, or you'll get me started, too. Freakin' hormones."

"Hormones?"

"Yes, damn pregnancy hormones. I'm having another baby."

"That's great," Meredith responds, truly happy, and gives Bailey a hug.

"Thanks." Bailey replies. "You can tell Derek, but not anyone else. Not yet."

"Okay." Meredith agrees. She's happy that Bailey came along when she did. Her mood is much improved.

* * *

"I know something you don't know," Meredith tells her husband over dinner, in a sing-songy voice.

Derek erupts with laughter and says, "The mystery information has turned you into a seven-year-old."

Meredith giggles and asks, "Do you want to know what I know?'

"Sure." he answers with a shrug and takes a bite of garlic bread.

"Bailey's pregnant. I'm not sure if she originally intended to tell me, but she did. She said I could tell you, but we are sworn to secrecy for now."

Derek nods his acknowledgement while finishing the food in his mouth. Then he says, in a neutral voice, "I'll give her a call. Congratulate her and Tucker - see how she's feeling."

"Okay," Meredith says, irrationally saddened by her husband's rather apathetic response. She's also a little pissed at herself. She had been hoping that he'd hear about their friends having another baby and change his mind about them having a child. How stupid.

"Meredith?"

She jumps at the sound of his voice and pulls herself back from mentally beating up on herself. "Yes?"

"Do you still think about us having a baby?"

She's silent as she decides how to answer his question. Finally, she sighs and goes with simple and honest, "Yes. Not often, but sometimes, like today. I'm truly happy for Bailey and her family but I can't help that I think about us having a baby."

"Meredith…"

"Derek," she interrupts, "You asked me a question and I gave you an honest answer, but I remember exactly how you feel about having children. It's okay."

"How can you say it's okay when you just told me you think about us having a child?"

"I accept how you feel about it, Derek. I love you and I love our life together."

"You'd love to have a baby." he stubbornly insists.

"I would." she agrees, "but only if you wanted one, too. I don't need a child to feel fulfilled. I mean it - I love our life together."

Derek comes around the table and pulls Meredith into his arms. "I don't want you to ever resent…"

She cuts him off with a kiss then says, "I don't and I doubt I ever will. We have bigger things to focus on right now."

"Okay," he says, letting the topic go for now. "I love you."

"I know," she answers and starts to clear the table while talking to him about the hospital.


	39. Maybe Baby?

_Chapter 39: Maybe Baby?_

Kathleen can't take it anymore. She hasn't seen her brother like this in a long time. In fact, he hasn't been in a mood like this for well over a year and a half. Since meeting Meredith, she thinks. "Did you and Meredith have a fight?"

"What?" Derek asks, looking perplexed. "No. Why are you assuming we're fighting?"

"I didn't assume," Kathleen answers carefully, "I asked."

Derek sighs heavily and then says miserably, "Meredith wants a baby."

With relief washing over her - and unable to help herself - Kathleen starts laughing.

"Did you hear me?" snaps Derek. "This isn't funny."

"Of course, it is," states Kathleen after controlling her giggles. "Your wonderful, talented, gifted, beautiful, and extraordinary wife wants to have a baby with you and your brooding about it. It's typical behavior for you, Derek."

"We cannot have a baby Kathleen."

"Oh," she says. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you're having fertility issues."

"That's not what I meant."

"Well good. That means I'm right and you're brooding because you think you shouldn't have a baby because you can't see."

Derek turns his head toward his sister and asks, "Has Meredith spoken to you about this?"

"Of course not." his sister sighs in response. "Derek, you're my brother and I love you but honestly, pull your head out of your ass and get a grip."

"Excuse me?"

"I get that it bothers you not to see your wife. Yes Derek, it sucks. It would suck to not see your child but if that's all that's keeping you from having one with your wife then you're an idiot."

"Kathleen…"

"I'm not done! In your own time - and with a lot of love and support - you've found a way to have a really great life. You have love with Meredith and you're going back to the career you're passionate about. There is absolutely no good reason why you and Meredith shouldn't have a child if you want one."

"Are you done?"

Kathleen sits beside her brother on the couch and places her hand on his shoulder. "Sweetie, just promise me that you'll seriously consider the possibility of having a child with Meredith. Don't let fear deprive you both of one of life's greatest joys."

"I can't stop thinking about it," he admits quietly. "Mer wants a baby and I want to make her happy."

"I think she's happy, regardless," Kathleen states.

"I know she is but…"

"Derek," Kathleen interrupts, "putting aside the fear, circumstances and challenges, do you want to have a child with Mer?"

"Yes," he sighs, "But it freaks me out."

Kathleen grins happily and gives her brother a quick hug. "You need to tell your wife you want a baby with her. You'll figure everything out together."

"Yeah," Derek agrees with a grin, "You're right."

"Of course, I am - the big sister is always right."

"Okay," Derek concedes with a laugh and hugs her. "Thanks."

"No problem!" she hugs him back and smiles at the thought of a future niece or nephew.


	40. Lets Have A Baby

_Chapter 40: Lets Have A Baby_

"Derek, are you, all right?"

"Yes. Why, do I not seem all right?"

"Actually, you don't," answers Meredith. "You've been quiet and distracted all evening. Are you nervous about going back to work at the hospital?"

"Yes," Derek answers with a nod of his head, "But that's not what's been on my mind tonight."

"Oh," Meredith answers as her heart gives a nervous, uneasy jolt.

"I've been trying to think of the best way to tell you something."

"Just tell me," she says with a slight snap in her voice as her knees go weak and she needs to sit down. Insecure questions - that she didn't even know she was capable of having - start jumping around her head. Is Derek bored with her? Does he realize he doesn't need her now that he's going back to medicine?

"Meredith?"

"What?"

"Did you hear what I said? I expected some sort of reaction from you."

"No, I didn't hear you," she replies in a soft voice.

"Are you okay?" Derek asks, concern in his voice as he sits beside her on the couch.

"Please just tell me what you need to say."

Derek puts his hands on her cheeks, hearing the nervous fear in her voice. He kisses her softly on the mouth. Drawing the kiss out until he feels her start to relax in his arms. He pulls back slightly and whispers, "I love you, Mer. Let's have a baby."

She blinks, several times, certain she misunderstood her husband's words. "What?"

Chuckling, Derek replies, "I said, 'I love you. Let's have a baby.'"

"You love me."

"You know I do," he chuckles again.

"Let's have a baby?"

"Are you going to repeat everything I say?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. Damn it, I don't know! You don't want a baby, Derek! Why are you playing cruel games?" She jumps up from the couch and is about to stomp away when he grabs her and pulls her back to him.

"I'm not playing games," he says and kisses her again, hard and demanding. "I know this is coming out of left field…"

"It's a complete turnaround, Derek."

"I know," he kisses her again, quick and soft. "I don't mean to be confusing. I just had a long talk with Kathleen today. She made me realize I'm being a ridiculous ass about not having a baby with you."

"Well," Meredith says as the nervous fear in her stomach turns to nervous excitement, "I wouldn't say 'ridiculous ass.' I understand why you'd be nervous about having a baby, Derek. Are you sure? I meant it when I said I don't need a baby to feel complete with you. I just think and feel that our child would add to the happiness of our life."

"I'm positive, Mer. I wouldn't bring it up otherwise. I want us to have a child."

She starts giggling and kissing him all over his face, causing him to laugh. "I love you, Derek."

"I love you too, Mer."

"We don't have to try right away."

"Oh," he teases her, "Now, you have cold feet."

"No," she giggles, "I just want you to be happily acclimated at Seattle Grace before we have a baby."

"Yeah," he agrees with a nod of his head, "It'd probably be a good idea for you to complete your Fellowship first."

"So, do you want to start trying for a baby at our first wedding anniversary?"

"Yes. I think we'll need lots of practice between now and then, though."

"Safe practice," she giggles, pulling her husband toward their bed.

"We're an ad for safety," he replies.

Meredith and Derek are both happy - and slightly in awe - with their decision to have a baby together. It feels as if another piece of the puzzle in their life is nicely in place.

* * *

"I think that smile is tattooed to your face. It's disgusting."

"Hi Cristina," Meredith laughs.

"I miss the surly Meredith," Cristina grumbles.

"No, you don't," Meredith says, shaking her head. "Do you have time for coffee?"

"Are you buying?"

"Yes," Meredith rolls her eyes.

"Then I have time for coffee." Cristina answers, finally smiling.

Meredith buys their coffee and they find a place to sit down together. They talk briefly about patients and surgeries. Then Cristina asks, "Are you ready for Derek to come to work here tomorrow?"

"Yes, definitely."

"I'm looking forward to what he has to teach. Neuro isn't my field, but he was one of the best. Will he be all right with not cutting?"

"I don't know," Meredith answers. "I hope so, but only time is going to answer that question."

"I still don't know how you deal with him being blind." Cristina says in her blunt style.

"The majority of the time, I don't even think about it Cristina. My life is better with Derek in it. There were adjustments that had to be made, but I didn't ever feel like I was sacrificing anything important."

"Love changes people." Cristina states.

"Often for the better. I hope you find that out for yourself."

Cristina snorts and states, "I'm content with my career."

"Is it enough for you?"

After a long hesitation Cristina answers, "It's enough for now."

Meredith nods her head and wonders if she should tell Cristina about hers and Derek's decision to have a baby. She decides she'll wait until they actually conceive. She's thankful for Cristina's friendship but she's also certain that her friend would have something negative to say about the future Shepherd baby. And Meredith doesn't want to hear anything negative. She wants to be happy with the idea of a little baby with Derek's curls.


	41. Derek's First Day Back

_Chapter 41: Derek's First Day Back_

The next morning Meredith wakes up early - after having spent a restless night tossing and turning. She goes to the kitchen and makes a simple breakfast for her and Derek to share. Cereal, toast, fresh fruit and coffee. She puts it all on a tray and takes it to her husband in bed. She kisses him awake and he grins at her. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Dr. Shepherd." she replies and puts a cup of coffee into his hand.

After taking a careful but long drink Derek jokingly says, "I must've done something right."

Meredith giggles and placing her hand on his cheek replies, "Too many things to list."

"You're nervous about today." Derek states.

"Yes, but I know you'll be fine."

"I will," he agrees with a nod of his hand. He hands her his coffee cup and says, "Come here."

After placing the coffee back on the tray Meredith snuggles into Derek's open arms. He hugs her tightly to him and plays with her hair. She tilts her head up and he leans down to kiss her on the lips. It's a sweet and gentle exploration. Meredith bites his bottom lip and he groans. When she puts her hands under his tee shirt and rakes her nails down his chest he asks, "Do we have time?"

"Yes," she giggles, and he immediately pulls his shirt over his head and she replaces her hands with her tongue. Derek reaches down to pull Meredith's tee shirt off of her, as well. He rolls so she's beneath him and then cups one soft breast in his hand. He flicks and rolls the nipple between his thumb and forefinger until it's a hard-little nub and she's tingling with lovely sensation. He replaces his fingers with his mouth, and she moans and arches into him. He pays the other nipple the same attention as she pushes his sleep pants and boxers off to explore his exquisite nakedness with eager hands. They love one another in a very leisurely fashion. Reveling in the fact that they so intuitively love. Afterward, they eat the breakfast Meredith had brought in - even the now soggy cereal - laughing and talking.

"That was a great way to deal with the nerves," Meredith giggles and then takes a sip of juice.

"The best way." Derek agrees.

They shower, get dressed for the day and go to the hospital. As they're walking up to the hospital Meredith hears Derek take a deep breath. She takes his hand in hers and laces their fingers together. She doesn't say anything but squeezes his hand tightly in hers. Derek lets out his breath slowly. Then, still holding his wife's hand, he states, "I'm good, let's go in."

* * *

Derek's brain feels like mush. How could he possibly have forgotten the drudgery and boredom of paperwork? Granted, he doesn't actually have to fill the offending paperwork out. He does, however, have to answer a million-and-one questions from the HR assistant: Full name, birth date, social security number, etc. He has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from asking if she needs his blood type, too. He does ask, "Isn't all of this information in my file? I did work here for many years."

"Yes," the woman answers slowly - making Derek's spine stiffen in further irritation. "However, it's been many years since you've worked for Seattle Grace so your file needs updating."

"Well," Derek replies with a humorless smile, "while some things certainly have changed in my life - my name and birth date have not."

"Dr. Shepherd -"

"May I have the paperwork?" Derek asks, getting up from the chair and holding his hand out.

"This information is confidential -" she begins, and he cuts her off again.

"Since I'm an adult in my 30's I know who to trust with my confidential information. The papers, please?"

Seeing the furious and insulted look on his face, the woman hands Derek the papers and keeps her mouth shut as he leaves her office.

Out in the hallway, Derek stops and takes a deep breath. Why the hell did he let that condescending woman get to him? He was going to have to deal with attitudes just like hers until he was able to prove himself again. It pissed him off and insulted him, but he'd better get a handle on it fast if he wanted this to work out. "Damn it," he grumbles. He knows he needs help and doesn't like it one bit, but the trade-off is being involved in the medical world again. And being around Meredith more. He's going to have to swallow some of his stubborn pride. He's not willing to go back into the HR office though, so he calls Bailey.

He fills her in on what has occurred, and she comes to meet him.

Derek and Bailey quickly complete the paperwork. Before taking it back to the HR office Bailey says, "You know you're going to have to suck this up and deal."

"I know," he admits. "I've already beat myself up over getting mad about this."

"And you didn't call your wife because you don't want her to worry that you had a bad start on your first day back."

"Exactly," Derek grins.

"Stubborn, jackass male," Bailey states while shaking her head.

"You sound like Meredith." Derek laughs.

"Who do you think taught her?" Bailey asks and Derek laughs in response. "Come on," she says, "let's turn in your papers so we can get on with the business of saving lives."

"Okay." Derek agrees. Bailey waits for him in the hall outside the HR office. When he comes out, she says, "The Chief has implemented a somewhat new policy. While doing a surgery in the gallery OR the surgeon has to talk through the majority of the procedure. We have to teach as well as show the people watching from above. Meredith is doing surgery in there right now. Do you want to go listen?"

Derek grins like it's Christmas morning and replies, "Absolutely."

"I thought you might," Bailey answers with a smile of her own. "Come on," she says and puts her hand lightly on his arm to discreetly lead the way.

* * *

Meredith was on a surgical high. Higher than usual, actually. Her surgery had gone amazingly well. Which was a blessing for the obvious reasons but also because she'd been incredibly nervous knowing that Derek was listening from the gallery. She'd been doing the surgery and talking to teach through it when she got the pleasant, tingling sensation she always felt on the back of her neck when Derek was near. So, she'd glanced up into the gallery and sure enough - there he was. Dr. Derek Shepherd - world-renown Neurosurgeon. That alone filled her with pride and the aforementioned nerves. It was her heart that filled with pleasure, love and lust for the man who was her husband and the love of her life.

Meredith was keenly aware of the fact that Derek was present for the rest of her surgery. She didn't let the knowledge divert her from giving her patient the best of her ability, though.

Once the surgery was complete Meredith quickly put her surgical gloves and other protective wear into the bin and scrubbed-out. On her way up the stairs to the gallery, she passed two straggling interns that she exchanged greetings with. Then she went and sat in the empty chair next to Derek. He turned to face her as he took her hand and laced their fingers together.

"You're an absolutely amazing surgeon," he said in greeting.

"Thank you." Meredith replies as a grin spreads across her face and pride fills her chest. "I was hoping to impress you."

"You knew I was here?"

"Yes."

"It's an interesting sensation - the tingling awareness."

"You get that, too?" she asks, surprise clearly evident in her voice.

"Yes," he chuckles. "When Bailey told me, you were in here and talking through the surgery - I couldn't pass up the chance to hear you at work. You really are amazing, Mer. You're patient, speak clearly and conscientious about teaching your audience. I like how you included Dr. Parker in your surgery."

"Thank you," Meredith whispers around the lump in her throat. "I wasn't aware of this until I looked up here and saw you - but I really want you to be proud of me as a surgeon. I guess that goes back to my admiration of your work before I even knew who you were."

"Okay," Derek grins. "I'm quite impressed with and proud of you, Dr. Shepherd."

Meredith gives a little giggle and then leans up to place her lips upon her husband's for a tiny sweet kiss.

Derek groans in the back of his throat. As she's about to pull away he puts his hands on the back of Meredith's head to hold her in place. Then he deepens the kiss. He glides the tip of his tongue along his wife's lips and slides into her mouth when she gives a little gasp of pleasure. He kisses her slow and sensually until she moans and presses her body to his. Then he breaks the kiss and smiles at her disappointed sound. "We're making-out in the gallery," he reminds her.

Meredith sighs and says, "You turn my brain to mush."

"Good, we're even," he laughs and pulls her to her feet with him. "Let's go check on your patient."

"Okay," she agrees with a grin as the descend the stairs hand in hand.


	42. A Day Off Together

_Chapter 42: A Day Off Together_

"I can't believe this is the first day off we've had together in a month." Derek grumbles on the first Saturday morning in December.

Meredith rolls over and wraps her arms around his naked chest. She is so grateful that they can stay in their warm, comfortable bed and neither has to rush anywhere. "You've loved every moment of the past month," she says and moves up to kiss him. "Good morning, by the way."

"Good morning," he answers with a grin. "I am loving being back to work at the hospital. I just didn't anticipate the extreme lack of personal time together."

"Really? Didn't you have an insane schedule before?"

"Yes, but I just didn't think it would be this bad. I'm teaching this time instead of Attending."

"The difference is, you're married to a Fellow who is not entitled to any life of her own at this point in her career."

"Ugh," Derek sighs, "Okay, no wasting our day off together complaining about crap schedules."

"Agreed," she replies and kisses him again. "How would you like to spend our day, Dr. Shepherd?"

"Hmmmm, this is a nice start," he says and pulls her on top of him. Then he pulls her tee shirt off of her so he can run his fingers up her back as he kisses her thoroughly.

They take their time with one another. Something that feels like a luxury. There are no phones ringing or pagers interrupting them. They kiss, touch, laugh, moan and feel all kinds of delectable pleasure together. Then, after a blissful orgasmic rush, they sleep again, tangles together and holding close to one another.

When they awaken for the second time, two hours later, it's pouring rain outside and they're both ravenously hungry. "I'll get us coffee," Meredith says.

"I'm taking a quick shower," Derek answers and rolls out of bed.

Meredith grins as she watches him walk away.

"I feel you looking at me," he says loudly, with a grin in his voice.

"That's because you have a great ass that is just so easy to admire."

She hears him laughing and goes to the kitchen to start their coffee. She goes to the bathroom and gets in the shower with him. "I figured I'd join you while the coffee brews."

"Is that right?" he grins and pulls her to him for a squelching kiss. Then, to her surprise, he turns her so her head is under the water. He gently pushes all of her hair back from her face as it is soaked with the steamy water.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to wash your hair," he answers.

"Okay," she answers on a contented sigh and takes his hand to pour some of her shampoo into his palm. He turns her so her back is to his chest and then works the shampoo into her hair, gently massaging her scalp in the process. Meredith is amazed at how something so everyday can suddenly be erotic and relaxing because her husband is doing it.

"Is there shampoo on your face?" he asks as he starts massaging the back of her neck.

"Huh? What?"

"Shampoo? On your face?" he asks with a laugh.

"Oh. No, I'm great," she answers and sighs again. "God Derek, I can't even begin to tell you how amazing this feels."

"That's the point," he answers and turns her around to start rinsing the shampoo out. Once he feels that her hair is well-rinsed he says, "Okay, now the conditioner."

She giggles and pours a liberal amount into his open palm. He brings it to his nose and says, "There's your scent." Then he coats her hair with it and says. "Now it stays there for a few minutes. Right?"

"Right," she giggles. "Just long enough for me to wash you."

"No," he says and yanks her body to his. "Long enough for me to make love to you again."

All she can do is grin because she has absolutely no intention of objecting. They ravish one another again, finish their shower and dress in comfortable clothes. Then they finally get their coffee and enjoy the rest of their day together.


	43. Christmas Planning and Traditions

_Chapter 43: Christmas Planning and Traditions_

It's twelve days until Christmas and Meredith is nervously making her way to the Chief's office. When she gets there, she notices that he is alone inside - doing paperwork. The door is open, and she takes a deep breath before knocking on the doorframe.

He looks up and puts his pen down. Nodding toward a chair he says, "Come in, have a seat."

Meredith sits down and asks, "How are you?"

Webber grins and answers, "I'm fine. Great even. What can I do for you?"

She takes another deep breath and asks, "May I have Christmas day off?"

He grins and then laughs when she frowns at him. Finally, he asks, "Is this why you've been so nervous around me the past couple of days?"

"Yes," she answers, slightly sheepish. "I know how much you dislike special requests from Residents but," she hesitates and then shrugs her shoulders. "It's my first Christmas with Derek. Well, we were together last year but just barely. So, this will be our first year celebrating together. You don't have him scheduled to teach anything that day." she adds and looks at Webber hopefully.

He studies her for a few moments. When she doesn't flinch, or say another word, he states, "You've never made special requests for time off."

"No, I haven't." she agrees.

"I even recall having to force you to take vacation a couple of times."

"Yes," she nods and smiles as she realizes he's about to agree to her request.

"I have to admit that I'm impressed with - and appreciate - the professionalism you and Derek have shown at the hospital over the past six weeks. So, to answer your request, yes you can have Christmas off. Take the twenty-fourth, as well."

Meredith grins hugely and she has to force herself not to bounce in her seat like a fifth grader. "Thank you, Sir."

"You're welcome, Meredith. I know that I have always been hard on you, but you've always been like a daughter to Adele and me. We love you." the Chief answers with a grin of his own.

"I know, I love you guys too, and thank you!" Meredith says happily.

Meredith leaves the Chief's office and immediately calls Derek at home.

_"__Hi beautiful!" he answers on the third ring._

_"__Hi," she answers with a grin and an eye roll. "I have Christmas off."_

_"__You do?" he asks and sounds just as excited as she feels. "That's great!"_

_"__I have Christmas Eve off, too."_

_"__That's excellent news. I promise you'll love Christmas this year, Mer."_

_"__I will because I'll be spending it with you," she answers. And then groans, "Oh god."_

_"__What?"_

_"__I'm starting to say cheesy things. Just like you."_

_"__So?"_

_"__Yeah," she shrugs, "so what."_

_"__Do you want to get a Christmas tree tonight?"_

_"__We don't have to do that, Derek. I never get a tree."_

_"__Never?"_

_"__Never," she confirms._

_"__That's just sad and now my mind is made up," he states emphatically. "We're getting a tree."_

_"__Okay," she relents with a giggle. "If you say so."_

_"__I say so," he chuckles. "I love you."_

_"__I love you, too. I'll be home in a few hours."_

* * *

"Derek, are you sure about this?" Meredith asks as she parks the car in the Christmas tree lot that evening.

"Yes, I'm positive," he answers and opens his door to carefully get out.

Meredith comes around to his side and slips her hand through the crook of his arm. "I don't know anything about picking out a Christmas tree."

"Just pick one that you think looks nice."

"That's it?" she grumbles. "Pick one I like the look of? That's your advice?"

"Yep," he answers with a chuckle and a nod of his head. "It's not brain surgery, Mer."

"It certainly is not," she agrees. "I know how to do that."

"Come on, let's get a tree."

They are walking through the lot together and Meredith starts to relax. She realizes it really would be hard to mess this up. A few things suddenly occur to her and she pulls on Derek's arm to get him to stop.

"What?' he asks.

"Where are we putting this tree?"

He smiles, knowing she's thinking of him. He feels a strong surge of love for her because of it. "I was thinking in the bay window of the dining room."

"Okay," she says, "we'll push the table off to the side, but it'll still be out of the way."

"Yes."

"It'll have to be kind of a big tree to look nice in that window," she says, looking around her.

"Yes," he says again.

"Umm…" she says, feeling a little awkward, but knowing she has to ask the next question.

"We'll get a lot attendant to help put it on the car," Derek says, anticipating her concern. "And we're calling Mark when we leave so he can help at home."

"You've really thought this through," Meredith says softly and leans up to kiss him, soft and quick.

"I have," Derek answers. "It's our first Christmas together, Mer. I want it to be special."

"It'll be special regardless of whether we have a tree or not, Derek."

"I know, but you've never had one - which is just wrong. For me, well… having one feels normal. It makes me happy knowing it's there."

Meredith has a lump in her throat and tears in her eyes. She blinks rapidly to keep them from falling. Then she tugs on his arm and clears her throat to say, "Stop distracting me, Derek. I'm trying to pick us a Christmas tree."

He laughs and walks around the lot with her while she gets into the fun of picking a tree. An hour later he says, "Meredith, I'm sure you've looked at every tree on the lot."

"I think so," she laughs. "I just want to be sure I pick the best one."

They end up getting a seven-foot Douglas fir. The lot attendant does indeed tie it to the top of the car. On the drive home Meredith asks, "Will we decorate it tonight?"

"Of course," Derek answers, grinning at the excitement he hears in his darling wife's voice.

"Do you have all the decorations we need? Lights and bulbs and whatever?"

"Yes," he answers, laughing again. "We can get more if you want, though."

"Maybe, let's work with what we have first."

"You're excited now," he teases.

"Yeah, yeah," she laughs and takes his hand in hers again. She is indeed happy and excited about their first Christmas together.

* * *

"It's beautiful," Meredith whispers as she stands back and looks with watery eyes at their Christmas tree.

Derek wraps his arms around her from behind and replies, "Tell me."

Placing her hands over his and cuddling into his embrace, Meredith says, "It's colorful and - as goofy as this sounds - so festive. I'm glad Mark helped me string all the lights before you kicked him out."

"He was being a pain-in-the…"

"I like that the lights are multi-colored," she interrupts and giggles. "It's pretty when they're all white but this is more cheerful. And I feel like a dork saying that."

"Why?"

"I don't know," she answers on a sigh.

"Hmmm," he nuzzles her cheek and makes her giggle again - at the feel of his whiskers tickling her. "I smell the pine. Which to me always says Christmas. That plus cinnamon sticks in hot cider."

"That sounds good," Meredith replies. "Is that something your Mom did?"

"For as long as I can remember," he answers. "Didn't you have any sort of Christmas traditions?"

"I guess if you can call opening a couple of gifts quickly over breakfast a tradition - then yeah."

"Are you serious?" he asks carefully, after a few silent moments.

"Yes."

He squeezes her tightly, then turns her around to kiss her softly, sweetly. "From now on, you'll have Christmas traditions, Mer. So will our kids. I don't care if it does seem like a Hallmark movie - it's the way it should be."

"Okay," she answers with a lump in her throat and tears in her eyes. "So, the tree," she says and continues describing it to him in vivid detail.

Afterward they sit on the couch and drink hot apple cider with the fragrant cinnamon sticks. While cuddling, talking and listening to Christmas music.

"Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think of having a family dinner here on Christmas Eve? Then having Christmas Day just for us."

"I love that idea. We'll see if Mark and Cristina want to come, too."

"Definitely," she answers with a contented smile.

* * *

"What's wrong with you?"

Meredith looks up from the chart she is perusing to give Cristina a half-smile before answering, "Nothing is wrong with me."

"I don't believe you," Cristina states stubbornly. "You've seemed off all day." she continues and crosses her arms over her chest and glares at Meredith. Practically daring her to continue claiming nothing is wrong.

Meredith glances to where Derek is a little way down the hall and then whispers to Cristina, "It's something but not a big deal. Okay?"

Cristina looks between Meredith and Derek then raises her eyebrows and asks quietly, "Trouble in paradise?"

"No," Meredith gives a small laugh. "Meet me at the coffee cart in twenty minutes and I'll tell you."

"If you're going to do girl talk, you're buying the coffee."

"Fine." Meredith answers with a roll of her eyes and walks down the hall to Derek.

"What do you want?" Meredith asks as she and Cristina step up to the coffee cart at the same time.

"A mocha latte."

"Two mocha lattes and a cranberry orange muffin. Want one?" she asks Cristina.

"Sure, but I'll have the raspberry," Cristina answers.

They get their coffee and muffins and sit in chairs nearby.

"Okay, spill it, but make it quick because I have surgery in a half-hour."

"I suggested to Derek that we have dinner at our house on Christmas Eve."

Cristina laughs and says, "Now, you want to cancel but you can't."

"No, I don't want to cancel, but I am a little bit freaked out about it. I've never done anything like this and, well, it's Christmas so I don't want to screw it up."

"All right," Cristina says after finishing her muffin. "What does Derek say?"

"I haven't told Derek. I don't want to disappoint him."

"Well, I think you should tell him how you're feeling. Chances are - you're making it a bigger deal than it need to be."

"Maybe," Meredith concedes, sipping her coffee. "You're invited, by the way."

"That was a joyful invitation," Cristina snorts.

"Sorry," Meredith giggles. "Come over at six, if you can. We're having turkey and a bunch of other stuff."

"I'll bring booze," Cristina says as she stands up.

"Good idea. And Cristina?"

"Yeah?"

"You do just fine with the girl talk."

"Whatever," Cristina answers, but smiles as she walks away.


	44. Worried About Christmas Dinner

_Chapter 44: Worried About Christmas Dinner_

Later that same evening Meredith and Derek are having dinner together in the hospital cafeteria.

"Babe, are you having a bad day?"

"What? Oh, no baby, I'm not having a bad day. I'm just a little distracted."

"Anything you need to talk about?" he asks, reaching for her hand.

She reaches out and laces their fingers together. She gives a little laugh and states, "Cristina said I should talk to you about it."

"Really?" he asks, trying to sound neutral as a little knot forms in his gut.

"Yes," she mumbles and pushes the remaining food on her plate around with her fork.

"It can't be that bad." Derek proods.

"Yes, it can," she hedges. "If I disappoint you it'll be bad." she retorts, sounding sad.

"All right, you're making me nervous. You have to tell me what's going on."

"I'm sorry," Meredith stutters and squeezes his hand tightly in hers. "I'm just not a very good cook. I mean, I'm not the world's worst cook. I don't think so anyway, but I'm not a great cook. I've never cooked a turkey. I just don't want to make everyone sick and ruin Christmas."

She finishes her mini-tirade and sneaks a glance at Derek for his reaction. To her astonishment he is grinning. And looking very much like he wants to laugh out loud.

"Why are you happy? Did you hear what I just said? How are we supposed to have a family Christmas dinner when I can't even cook the main dish?"

"Come here." he says and tugs her into his lap.

"Derek," she protests, "We're at work. In the cafeteria!"

"I don't care." he says and finally laughs. He then gives her a very loud, lip-smacking kiss. "You are so fucking adorable. How did I get so lucky?"

Meredith wiggles free and sits back in her chair then grumbles, "You won't be feeling so lucky on Christmas morning. When you wake up vomiting from salmonella poisoning."

Derek laughs again and reaches for her hand. She swats it away and says, "Seriously Derek, this isn't funny."

"It really is, Mer."

"It's not," she insists. "What are we going to do?"

"Have the dinner catered," he answers, sounding serious.

"Be serious," she groans.

"I'm quite serious. Like you, I have no freakin' idea how to cook a turkey. Plus, I don't think it'd be quite safe for me to do. Somehow fish, steak or pasta doesn't seem like the right things to serve. So, I made some calls and we're having it catered."

"Can we do that?" she asks, starting to sound a little relieved. "Is it tacky? We invited people over for dinner. Shouldn't we cook for them?"

"Not in this scenario," he answers with a shake of his head. "Like you said, no food poisoning on Christmas morning."

She jumps up and grabs his face in her hands then proceeds to give him a very enthusiastic kiss. "I love you and I'm the one who's lucky."

"Meredith." he teases, "We're at work."

"I don't care," she answers and kisses him again.


	45. Christmas Prank Gone Wrong

_Chapter 45: Christmas Prank Gone Wrong_

"I thought you loved me." Derek grumbles to his wife.

"I do love you."

"Then why are you driving in circles at the mall trying to find a parking place? Rather than coming home to see me? Your husband. Who loves and misses you," he whines.

Meredith laughs and replies, "Because, husband-of-mine, neither you nor I were successful at getting our sisters to shop for us. We have a houseful of loved ones coming over on Christmas Eve and we still need gifts for said loved ones."

"I know," he sighs dramatically and makes her laugh again. "I haven't kissed you in… well, so many hours, I can't remember."

"You're playing dirty."

"I always want to play dirty with you."

"Derek."

"Meredith. Come home, we'll go do the Christmas shopping on Tuesday, during the day. The stinking mall will be less crowded, and we can knock it out together."

She looks at the sea of cars and knows there will be a sea of people inside, as well. There's no question that she'd much rather be with Derek. "I'll see you soon," she tells him.

"Yes," he chortles triumphantly and makes her giggle. "Drive safely."

"I will," she answers and disconnects as she turns her car away from the mall and toward home.

* * *

When Meredith is almost home a short while later, she sees what looks like a glow coming from the direction of her house. She frowns and feels a twinge of nervousness - wondering what it could be. Once she rounds the final bend in the road, she puts her foot on the brake and stares in astonishment. Her house is - for lack of a better word - glowing.

With Christmas decorations.

Tons and tons of Christmas decorations. There are mechanical Santa's, reindeer, elves and lights galore. There's fake snow, and a huge blowup thing with Santa and a snowman inside.

"Mark," she growls with certainty as she finally pulls her car into the garage and turns off the ignition.

Derek is waiting for her in the kitchen with a huge grin on his face. Unwilling to squelch his happiness - Meredith swallows the nasty comment she was going to make.

"Hi Derek," she says instead and walks into his open arms for a hug and a kiss.

"Hi Mer," he replies. He starts rubbing her back and asks, "Was traffic bad?"

"Surprisingly, no. I guess all the cars and their people are at the mall."

He gives a small chuckle and asks, "Then why are you so tense?" He applies more massaging pressure to her back and causes her to groan in pleasure.

"No reason," she murmurs and leans up to kiss him. She kisses him slowly, runs her fingers through the curls of his hair and bites his bottom lip. He pulls her to him a little tighter and runs his fingers through the ends of her hair. She pulls back slightly and asks, "Now do you remember kissing me?"

"I remember everything about us," he chuckles huskily. "I just wanted to get you home."

"I'm glad I came home," she replies and goes back to kissing her husband.

"Wait," he says, feeling both of their bodies heating up. "Do you like the lights outside?"

She hesitates just a little too long before answering, "Of course."

"You're a horrible liar Meredith." Derek says, the slightest bit of hurt in his voice.

Meredith sighs and lays her head on his shoulder. "Derek," she starts, deciding to go with honesty, "I like the lights. It's all the other stuff Mark put out there that I," she hesitates, "umm… could do without."

"All what other stuff?" Derek asks, sounding a little edgy. "Mark and David were only supposed to put up lights."

"Oh," she answers, biting her bottom lip. Damn it, she doesn't want Derek to be mad at his best friend and brother-in-law at Christmas. Why couldn't she have kept her mouth shut?

"Mer? What other stuff?" he asks softly.

"I'm sure they put it up for the kids, Derek. It's really not so bad. I was just… surprised. That's all."

He leans down to kiss her again. Then states, "You're trying to be diplomatic - which makes me love you even more. I'd still like you to tell me what other stuff they put out there."

"Okay," she sighs heavily and pulls out of his arms. "Let me get us some wine first."

"That can't be good." he grumbles.

Meredith tells Derek all about their overly decorated house while they sip wine and have soup and salad for dinner. When she's finished, Derek says, "Fuck, I can't believe they did that."

"I can," she answers with a giggle. "Maybe it's not so bad, after all."

"Not so bad? You were tense and aggravated when you got home. It must be atrocious."

"Well," she giggles again, after drinking some more wine, "The astronauts can probably see it from space."

Derek gives a sound that sounds half pissed and half scared. Meredith laughs and moves from her spot at the table to stand in front of him. She tilts his head up to her and leans down to kiss him. He pulls her down so she's now straddling his lap. He deepens their kiss as she rotates her hips and feels him grow hard. She pulls off her sweater and her bra and places his hands on her breasts.

He grins and she giggles. Meredith is happy she put his mind - and body - back on them. And only them.

* * *

"Good morning, Meredith."

"Dr. Sloan," she answers coldly, only sparing him a tiny glance before closing her chart and turning to walk away.

Mark chuckles and follows her. "Dr. Sloan? You've been calling me Mark since you married my best friend. You must be mad at me."

"How perceptive of you," she snaps and keeps walking.

"Hey," Mark says as they stop to wait for the elevator. "I admit David and I thoroughly over-decorated your house but…."

"Over decorated?" Meredith asks in shock. "Is that what you call what you did? Decorating?"

"It was a bit overboard, but we really thought you and Derek would get a good laugh out of it," he shrugs.

They step on the elevator and Meredith says, "It looks like Santa's reindeer did a fly-by and took a crap all over our house."

Mark starts laughing but quickly stifles it as Meredith continues to glare at him. "What?"

The elevator doors slide open and Meredith stomps off with her anger in tow.

"Meredith?" Mark follows her. "Meredith, I don't understand…"

"You're an idiot!" she hisses angrily through gritted teeth.

A passing nurse tries to hide her laughter and Mark grabs Meredith's arm to pull her into an empty room. "It was just a j…"

"I know! It was just a joke," Meredith flails her arms, doing her best to keep her voice down. Even though she wants to scream at the man-child in front of her. "You know, maybe I could see the humor in what you guys did if either of you had let my husband in on the joke."

"Crap," Mark mutters, as the color drains from his face and comprehension dawns.

"Yeah, crap," she agrees as the urge to yell disappears. "What if Derek had gone out there after you and David left?"

"He didn't." Mark answers lamely.

"Thankfully," Meredith nods, "but you had no way of knowing he wouldn't. You guys put my husband in a dangerous situation and that scares me. It also pisses me off. So, for now, I'd appreciate it if you'd leave me alone."

"Okay, but Meredith, it wasn't intentional."

"I know. You weren't thinking," she says, and she blinks back tears. "I thought you, of all people, his best friend," she sighs and shakes her head. "I can't leave a shoe in the middle of the floor. And I don't want to because I know it's dangerous. You and David put all that dangerous crap in our yard." She shakes her head again and then leaves the room.

"Hell," Mark mumbles and runs a frustrated hand through his hair. He feels like a chastised child. He feels like an asshole because Meredith is right. He'd stupidly put his best friend in danger. He and David definitely deserved any crap coming their way over the dumb prank.


	46. Derek's Fan Club

_Chapter 46: Derek's Fan Club_

Meredith sits in the gallery listening to Derek give a lecture on Minimally Invasive Cranial Surgery. She is sitting on the edge of her seat hanging on every word he's saying. And if she'd been able to tear her attention away from him, she'd notice that every other person in the gallery is just as attuned to his lecture. Meredith knows Derek yearns to hold a scalpel and actually be able to cut. Hell, he's a surgeon, of course he feels that way, but he is an absolutely amazing teacher.

Yes, he gave lectures, but they never felt boring or tedious. In fact, he'd be busy for an hour or two after the lecture answering questions, giving opinions and going over technique. He was in his element and Meredith was thrilled. So far, so good. At the end of the lecture, she got up with everyone else and started to leave the gallery.

"Your husband makes Neuro seem like the hottest specialty to choose from," Cristina says by way of a greeting.

"Hello to you too." Meredith giggles.

"Seriously," Cristina says, pointing to the interns and Residents waiting to talk to him. "He has a fan club."

"Seriously." Meredith grins, "Shut up."

"Fine. I really just want to know if I should bring anything other than alcohol on Christmas Eve."

"We're good. We - Derek actually, but I'm completely fine with it - decided to have it catered."

"Oh!" Cristina grins, "Thank God!"

"You don't have to sound quite so relieved."

"Why? You are."

"True."

"So?" Cristina begins, "Did you really give Sloan a piece of your mind this morning?"

Meredith gives her a bit of a horrified look and Cristina laughs. Then continues, "Don't look so upset. You're a hero around here right now. I just want to know why you were pissed at him."

"Crap," Meredith grumbles and quickly fills Cristina in on the details.

Naturally, Cristina finds it funny. At Meredith's glare she says, "Hey, Dr. McDreamy isn't hurt so I can laugh at Sloan and the brother-in-law turning your house into Santa's Village."

"Shut up. Now."

"Are you going to tell Derek about it."

"I wasn't going to, but I have to now."

"Good luck with that." Cristina says and leaves Meredith near the surgical board.

* * *

An hour later, Meredith goes back to the O.R. and Bailey is there with Derek. Along with one lingering female intern. Meredith holds up a tray with two coffees and a tea, Bailey motions her to come inside. She walks toward the little group and Derek immediately turns his head in her direction and smiles. "Hi Mer." he says, not even aware that his voice changes, becomes just a bit more seductive toward her. The little intern makes a quick and stuttering exit.

Bailey erupts in laughter and accepts the tray of hot drinks. Meredith takes one coffee for Derek and places it in his hand. Then she says, "Cristina's right, you do have a fan club."

"Meredith…" he begins.

"She's right," Bailey interrupts, "We all know you only want to sniff your wife. Meredith, don't you notice how he immediately knows when you're in a room?"

"Of course, and I'm not worried. I'm just saying Cristina's right."

Derek clears his throat, sounding slightly uncomfortable. Meredith and Bailey smile at one another.

"I have a meeting with the Chief," Bailey says and takes her tea, leaving Meredith and Derek alone. Meredith looks up into the gallery and since no one is around she leans over to kiss her husband.

"Are you coming on to me in an empty O.R. Dr. Shepherd?"

"You wish." she laughs and wraps her arms around him for a quick and tight hug.

"Hey, what's up?"

Meredith tells Derek about her run-in with Mark. He listens intently. When she's finished he chuckles. "You're laughing?" she asks, a little surprised.

"Yes," he answers with a nod of his head.

"What they did was so -" she begins indignantly but is cut off when he pulls her to him for another quick kiss.

When the kiss breaks, he says, "They just didn't think. I'm not excusing their behavior," he qualifies at her angry, indrawn breath. "They won't do anything like it again."

"They better not." she mutters.

"It's a turn-on to have you be a warrior woman for me," he says and slides his hand under her scrub top.

She laughs - which was, of course, his intention. "I'm not having sex with you in the O.R."

"Fine," he sighs dramatically. "How long before you're off work?"

"An hour," she answers, taking his hand to walk out of the O.R.

"Okay. Can you find me an intern to dictate my paperwork to?"

"I'll get one of your groupies," she teases.

"Funny Mer, very funny," he says as she giggles, and they walk toward the nurse's station together.


	47. Christmas Shopping Together

_Chapter 47: Christmas Shopping Together_

"Derek, are you sure about this?"

"Of course. I told you we'd do the remainder of the Christmas shopping together."

"I know," she replies a bit tensely and holds onto him a little tighter, a bit more securely. "It's just that the mall is more crowded than we anticipated."

"Meredith," he chuckles and rubs his cheek across her hair as they make their way through the crowd of people. "I'm fine, please don't worry."

"Yeah right." she sighs and wishes she could put an invisible force field around them. If anyone came within a foot of them, they'd get knocked on their butts. The image makes her giggle.

"What?" he asks.

"Oh nothing," she answers evasively. She knows he'll tease her endlessly if she tells him her thoughts. "Should we go to the toy store first?"

Meredith feels him tense slightly but doesn't say anything. "Yes," he answers. "Is Dora stuff still cool with the little girls?"

"Probably," she answers, "But Molly suggested dress-up stuff."

"Dress-up stuff?" he asks, sounding bewildered. "Don't kids play dress-up with stuff out of their parents' or grandparents' closets?"

"That's what I thought too, but apparently there's a whole slew of kids items for them to dress-up in now. Princesses, firemen, doctors, you name it."

"Okay," he answers, clearly feeling out of his element.

They do their Christmas shopping - which goes surprisingly well. At the end of it, Derek asks Meredith if she wants to go to lunch.

"Actually," she answers, "Do you mind if we just go home? I'm a little bit tired."

"I don't mind," he answers and squeezes her hand in his.

"I wouldn't mind going out to dinner, though."

"Okay," he says. They drive home in companionable silence. Once they are there Meredith does indeed go to lie down. After a while Derek goes in to find out how she's doing. He's surprised that she's sound asleep. He figured she'd just be resting. He sits on the bed beside her for a while. Listening to her even breathing and absently stroking the back of her hair - lost in thought. Then he pulls a blanket over her, kisses her softly on the cheek and goes to listen to a book.


	48. Is Meredith Okay?

_Chapter 48: Is Meredith Okay?_

"Hi Derek."

"Hi Lexie," he answers and turns his head to the side. "How are you?"

"I'm okay but I'm actually wondering what's going on with Meredith. She won't tell me but I'm hoping you will."

"What's wrong with Meredith?" Derek asks in alarm and grabs Lexie's arm tightly.

"Ow Derek," she says, and he immediately releases her arm and mumbles an apology. She continues, "Meredith says she's fine but she's acting weird. I caught her literally falling asleep over a chart this morning. She even turned down a muffin from the coffee cart. She never does that. There's other small stuff."

Derek sighs in relief and answers, "She's trying to do too damn much for Christmas and she's exhausting herself. Plus, she's freaked out about having everyone over tomorrow night."

"Okay," Lexie replies and gives an audible sigh of her own. "Maybe you can convince her to go take a nap in an on-call room. She doesn't have surgery until later this afternoon."

"I'm sure I can," he chuckles.

"Good," Lexie states, "Here she comes now, and she is dragging." She says bye to Derek and makes a quick retreat in the opposite direction of her sister. Lexie isn't in the mood to have her head bitten off by Meredith again."

"Hi Derek," Meredith says as she walks up to her husband and wraps her arms around his waist and lays her head on his chest.

"Hi Mer," he replies in surprise because she never goes for the public display of affection at work. Maybe Lexie was right, and something was wrong. "Are you okay?" he asks and hugs her back.

"I'm fine," she answers and pulls away from him. "Just tired. I'm actually going to lay down. Do you want to come with me?"

"Yes," he answers and holds out his hand. She takes it and leads them to the nearest available on call room. They lay down together on the narrow bed and Meredith is asleep in Derek's arms almost immediately. He frowns in concentration - trying to recall exactly when her fatigue had begun. He couldn't remember the exact day but thinks it's been about a week. He stays with Meredith - holding her tightly. He promises himself to pay better attention to how she's taking care of herself.

* * *

Derek was feeling very restless. Meredith was sleeping again. She'd gotten up with him that morning and she'd been excited and happy about Christmas. They'd made love, had breakfast, taken a shower together and then gone out for a walk on their land. By the time they'd come back to the house she was yawning. When he'd asked her how she was feeling she'd said fine just tired. She went in to lie down and fell asleep quickly.

The doorbell rang and Derek went to answer it before whomever was at the door rang again and woke Meredith.

"Merry Christmas." said Mark. "I came over early in case you and Meredith need help with anything."

"No." Derek said, waving his friend inside and shutting the door. "We're all set. The gifts are all wrapped, and the food arrives at four."

"Where's Meredith?" Mark asks after looking around and not seeing her. He sets the wine he's brought on the counter.

"Sleeping." Derek replies.

"She's been doing a lot of that." Mark states.

"I know." Derek sighs. "Do you want coffee?"

"Did you make it?"

"No." Derek grins.

"In that case, yes, but I'll get it."

"I can get coffee in my own house." Derek answers.

"I know," Mark replies, "Let's just be cautious today. Your wife has already ripped me a new one this week. I'd rather not have a repeat performance."

"What are you talking about?"

"Didn't she tell you?"

"Apparently not." Derek frowns.

"Huh," Mark grunts. "Well, she was rather pissed at Dave and I for turning your front yard into a winter wonderland and not warning you before we left. I'm sorry, by the way. We should've told you."

"Yeah, well." Derek grins and shrugs.

"She really loves you," Mark says, sounding in awe.

"I'm a lucky bastard because of it." Derek states emphatically.

"What will you do if something is wrong with her?"

Derek's entire body goes completely still and he's quiet for a long time. Leave it to Mark to get right to the heart of the matter. Finally, Derek answers quietly, "There's nothing wrong with Meredith."

"Derek." Mark says patiently, knowing this conversation sucks, "Even I've noticed your wife's extreme fatigue."

"There's nothing wrong with her!" Derek yells. He takes a deep breath and then says more quietly, "She's a Fellow, it's Christmas, she's been working her ass off and she's just tired. There cannot be anything wrong with Meredith."

Mark decides to let it go for now but keep an eye on the situation. He answers, "You're probably right."

"I am."

Mark puts a cup of coffee in his friend's hand. Once Derek takes a drink he says, "Maybe she's pregnant," and laughs as Derek chokes on the hot liquid.

"Meredith isn't pregnant." Derek answers after he's done coughing.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." he replies, but with just a bit of hesitancy.

"No, you're not." Mark grins. "What are you going to do if she is?"

"Have the baby." Derek shrugs. "We already decided to try for a baby at the end of her Fellowship."

"What?" Mark sounds shocked. "I thought you were completely against the idea of children."

"I want a child with Meredith," Derek says, his tone of voice intense. "It'll be an adjustment. A huge adjustment, but -" he trails off and shrugs again.

"Wow." Mark says, shocked. Then he shudders, laughs and replies, "Better you than me."

"That's the truth," Derek laughs. He and Mark start talking about work and before long Meredith comes out to join them.

* * *

Meredith stands in her doorway looking out at the nieces and nephews playing in the winter haven that Mark and Dave had created. She'd been really angry with them, but it was turning out to be a huge hit with the kids. She smiled as she saw the once intimidating Miranda Bailey scoop her daughter into her arms and laugh at something with her.

Meredith was surprised to feel an emotional lump forming in her throat. A year ago - she'd been dating Derek, but he'd spent Christmas with his family and she with hers. Now they were all one big family. Including Miranda, Tucker and their kids. And Cristina and Mark - she thought with a smile as they good-naturedly bickered about something.

Meredith walked back into the living room and saw Derek by the sparkling Christmas tree. He was sharing scotch and conversation with Dave and Tucker.

"Hey," Molly said quietly from beside her. "are you all right?"

"Yes," Meredith answers as tears begin falling down her cheeks. She leaves the room to go outside to the back deck.

"Are you sure?" Molly asks, following her sister.

"Yes," Meredith answers with a laugh, once she has herself under control again. "I was just looking around and feeling very happy and emotional. It felt like a Hallmark moment and then the waterworks started."

"Hey," Lexie says from the doorway. "What's going on?"

"Meredith's having an emotional, Hallmark, PMS-ing moment," Molly teases.

"Is that right?" Lexie asks as she joins her sisters on the deck.

"Maybe," Meredith answers.

"What do you mean. 'maybe'?" Molly asks. "You were out here crying happy tears. There's no maybe about it."

"I mean 'maybe' to the PMS part."

There's a long moment of stunned silence and then both Lexie and Molly shriek, "What?"

"Shut up," Meredith laughs. "All I'm saying is that I'm not certain it's PMS. The Hallmark moment is true."

"Oh my God," Lexie states with a huge grin.

"Mer, are you -" Molly begins.

"I'm not sure," Meredith answers quietly. "Maybe. I'm constantly tired. Food makes me a little queasy and my period is one day late. Which shouldn't make me suspicious except that I'm like clockwork."

"Oh my God." Lexie says again.

Molly laughs and asks, "Does Derek know? And how long are you going to wait before you take a test?"

"Derek doesn't know and I'm not going to say anything until I know for sure. As far as testing - I'm thinking New Year's Eve."

"You're going to wait a week?" Lexie asks in surprise.

"Yes." Meredith answers decisively. "I think it'd be a special way to start the new year."

"That's so disgustingly romantic that I'm jealous," Molly sighs and wraps her arm around Meredith.

"Well," Lexie sighs, also putting her arm around Meredith, "it looks like a happy new year for the Grey sisters."

"Yes," Meredith says and raises her eyebrows at Lexie.

"Ryan told me he loves me earlier today," Lexie grins.

"Really?" Molly asks.

"Did you tell him you love him?" Mer asks.

"Yes." Lexie sighs and the sisters laugh softly.

"What's going on out here?" Dave asks from the doorway.

The three sisters turn to see Derek and Dave standing there - grinning.

"Just girl talk," Lexie answers - walking toward her brothers-in-law.

"Lexie's in love," Molly answers, wrapping her arms around her husband.

"Is that right, pipsqueak?" Dave teases.

Derek comes outside to join Meredith as the other three head back into the house. They wrap their arms around one another and quietly enjoy the evening. "I love you, Meredith."

"I love you too, Derek."

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yes," she answers, knowing he's been worried about her. "I promise - I'm not keeping anything worrisome from you."

"But you are keeping something from me?"

"No," she answers, squeezing him tightly. "If there is something to tell - you'll be the first to know."

"Meredith -" he begins with a slight frown.

"Are you coming back to feed all of us before we revolt on you?" Miranda calls from the door.

"We'll be right there," Derek answers.

"We're coming now," Meredith replies. Then she kisses Derek and says, "Everything is fine, Derek. Let's enjoy the evening and have Christmas together tomorrow."

He smiles, leans down to kiss her and then takes her hand in his to go back inside. And now he's not really worried. However, he is wondering if Mark's pregnancy suspicions may be correct. A little Meredith, he thinks with a grin.


	49. Are We Pregnant?

_Chapter 49: Are We Pregnant?_

"Merry Christmas, Meredith."

"It's not Christmas quite yet, but Merry Christmas, Derek," she answers with a laugh.

The last of their family and friends have gone home for the evening. Dinner had been wonderful, and all the kids loved their gifts. Now it's time for Meredith and Derek to have their Christmas.

Derek pulls his wife into his arms on the couch and asks, "What do you mean it's not Christmas yet? It is Christmas for all of December twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth."

"All right fine." she laughs and hugs her husband tighter. For some reason she does not want to let him go tonight. Truth be told, she's always touching him in some casual way, but tonight is different. Maybe it's because of the possibility of being pregnant, she thinks.

Meredith reflexively moves to put her hand on her stomach and bumps Derek's hand as he does the same thing. She glances at his face with wide eyes - nervous of what she might see there. What she sees is a soft smile and she brushes his fingers with her own. They both leave their hands on her stomach.

"Meredith?" Derek says quietly, seriously.

"Yes?" she answers, her heartbeat accelerating.

"Are you," he hesitates then continues, "are we pregnant?"

Meredith's eyes fill with tears at the use of the word 'we.' It told her what she already knew. Even though her body would be the one doing all the work if and when she was pregnant - they were in this together. He'd want to be involved every step of the way. "I don't know," she whispers. "Maybe."

"Maybe," he says, slightly awed. "Why maybe?"

"I'm only one day late," she answers.

"You're never late," he answers emphatically. "Every twenty-six days, like clockwork."

Meredith laughs at his choice of words - so like her own to her sisters. "I know," she replies.

Derek grins and asks, "So when are we going to test?"

She giggles at his enthusiasm. Was this really the same man who had been against having children not that long ago? "New Year's Eve," she answers.

He laughs in response. When she doesn't laugh with him, he sobers up and says, "You are not going to wait a week to test."

"Well," she qualifies, "I was. I think it'd be a wonderful way to start the New Year."

"It'll be a wonderful way to start Christmas too," he states stubbornly.

"Oh lord," she laughs. "Tomorrow I'll only be two days late."

"Clockwork," he mumbles, "remember?"

"Well," she concedes, excitement in her voice, "I did buy some First Response home pregnancy tests."

"You have tests already?" he asks excitedly and gets up from the couch, his hand in hers.

"What are we doing?" she laughs.

"You're going to pee on the stick."

"No, I am not," she says stubbornly and stops walking. "I am only one day late."

"Clockwork, Mer," he says again and pulls her into his arms.

She feels herself melting under his enthusiasm. She leans up to kiss him and replies, "All right, I'll test in the morning."

"Why not now?" he asks with a pout.

"The directions say the first urine of the day is best to test with because it has the highest levels of hCG."

"Okay," Derek relents, "that does sound vaguely familiar from my gynecology rotation."

"Way back when," she teases

"Yes, in caveman days," he laughs. "Come on."

"Now what?"

"We're going to bed so you can get up and test in the morning."

"Surprisingly," Meredith laughs, "I'm not at all tired."

"I know how to cure that," Derek grins and captures his wife's mouth with his own as he starts to carefully undress her.

* * *

"Derek! Derek, wake up!"

"What?" he grumbled grumpily to his cheery wife.

Giggling, Meredith kissed him and said, "I thought you wanted me to take the pregnancy test this morning."

"I do," he stretched, "but you just said you wanted to sleep longer."

"That was three hours ago," she giggled again. "I really have to pee now. So, wake up." she stated happily, walking toward the bathroom.

Derek lay where he was for a couple of minutes. His heart was beating a bit rapidly. He was nervous. What if Meredith was pregnant? Worse, what if she wasn't? He took his time making his way to the bathroom - giving Meredith time to pee on the stick in private. Even if he couldn't see her - it may still make her uncomfortable if he hovered right now.

Meredith came out of the bathroom and said, "Okay, now we wait for a couple of minutes and then check the results."

She went over and hugged her husband tightly. "Are you okay?" he asked

"I'm a little nervous," she whispered into his chest. Meredith leaned up to kiss him and then said, "Part of me thinks it would be better if I'm not pregnant just yet. Then there's a bigger part of me that is petrified that I'm not. I know that makes no sense and sounds completely ridiculous -"

Derek kissed her gently and rubbing her back said, "It makes perfect sense, Mer. I think it's completely natural to have a whole lot of mixed emotions about having a baby. I think something would be wrong if we didn't."

"You're feeling the same way?"

"Absolutely. Like you, I'm hoping more so for pregnant, but yeah - I'm kind of freaked out."

Meredith giggled and stated, "Strangely, that makes me feel a lot better."

Derek chuckled and asked, "Is it time to check yet?"

"Yes," she whispered, her legs suddenly feeling like lead.

"Come on," Derek laughed and pulled his wife back to the bathroom.

Squeezing Derek's hand tightly, she picked up the test in her other hand. Meredith started laughing - slightly hysterically and sat down on the floor - pulling Derek with her.

"What does it say?' he asked anxiously.

She tried to answer but couldn't get anything out around the hysterical giggles. Then she flung her arms around Derek's neck and held on tight.

"You're shaking Mer," he said and hugged her. When her laughing started to subside, he whispered again, "What does it say?"

Meredith leaned forward and kissed him softly and then clearly said, "Merry Christmas, Daddy."

Derek leaned his head back against the wall, looking dazed. Then a huge grin spread across his face and he pulled Meredith into his lap. "Merry Christmas, Mommy."


	50. Can We Tell Someone?

_Chapter 50: Can We Tell Someone?_

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling fine." Meredith answers Derek as they walk into the hospital the day after Christmas.

"Mer." Derek says and squeezes her hand to get her to stop walking.

"Yes?"

"Is anyone near us at the moment?"

"No," she replies, slightly perplexed. She pulls him off to the side in the waiting room just to be safe. "Why?"

"I know we agreed not to announce the pregnancy."

"But?" she questions with a smile. She'd suspected he'd want to tell someone.

"What if you start feeling poorly? What if something happens, Mer? I'd feel a lot better knowing that someone - other than me - is looking out for you and our baby."

Meredith leans in to softly kiss her husband and says, "You're going to be over protective for the next nine months. Aren't you?"

"Yes," he answers emphatically. "I know it might bother you and I'll apologize for that right now, but I love you and our baby. I need to know that you're both okay. All the time."

Meredith has tears in her eyes as she asks, "You love our baby already?"

"Of course! Don't you?"

"I do," she replies around the lump in her throat, "but I thought maybe I was being hormonal. How is it possible to be so in love with him or her already?"

"I don't know," he smiles at her. "So, can we tell someone? Maybe two people?"

"They have to promise to keep their mouths shut."

"Definitely." Derek agrees. "You should tell your sisters. That way Lexie can keep an eye on you here. Don't roll your eyes," Derek laughs. He knows she's doing just that - even if she is agreeing to his plan.

Meredith giggles and says, "So, you'll tell Kathleen."

"Eventually," Derek hedges. "I was thinking about Mark."

"What? He won't keep his big mouth shut."

"He will if I tell him you'll kill him for blowing our secret." Derek laughs.

"If Mark knows then I have two babysitters at work - other than you."

Derek just grins at her and kisses her.

"All right, fine," she sighs. "Can we go to work now? I have rounds."

"By all means, Dr. Shepherd." Derek grins and takes his wife's hand in his own again.


	51. Telling Her Sisters

_Chapter 51: Telling Her Sisters_

"Have you told Lexie yet?" Derek whispers as they sit together having lunch in the cafeteria.

"No." Meredith answers and grins at her husband's frown.

"Why not? I don't want to tell Mark until you've told your sisters."

"Thank you," she says and reaches to hold his hand in hers. "You said 'sisters,' as in plural. Which means, I have to tell them at the same time or Molly will be hurt. Also, I think we need to tell Kathleen or she's going to be hurt, as well."

"You're probably right," Derek says carefully, "I thought we'd decided to keep it low key for a few weeks. At least until we have our first OB/Gyn appointment."

"True." Meredith says and is a bit horrified to feel her eyes fill with tears. "I just don't want to hurt any feelings. I don't want anyone to think they're less important to us than someone else." She sighs again as Derek chuckles. "Yes, I realize how emotional that sounds, but I can't help it."

Derek leans over and kisses her softly on the mouth. "There's nothing wrong with emotional. I'm thrilled with telling everyone if that's what you want."

"It is," she says, "but family first, friends second. Okay?"

"Yes, that's absolutely okay with me. You do realize that means you'll have a lot of babysitters for the next nine months. Right?"

"Yes," she answers. Then surprises him by saying, "but I've decided I'm okay with that."

"Really?"

"Yes," she says and swats his arm playfully. "Don't sound so shocked."

"Sorry," he chuckles, "but shocked is exactly what I am."

"Here's the thing," she explains. "I know there are going to be many beautiful and amazing moments during this pregnancy. However, there are also going to be the not-so-great aspects of it. Like morning sickness, back pain, possible food aversions and eventual sleeplessness. Not to mention that I'll actually have to push our beautiful child out of my body."

"Can we not think about that part yet?" Derek asks, turning a little pale.

"Yes," she giggles and squeezes his fingers in her own. "My point is, I've decided that since I'm growing a little human being in my body, I'm okay with some extra attention, TLC and pampering."

Derek laughs and asks, "Is that right?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Are you saying I don't give you enough of that already?"

"Of course, you do," Meredith giggles. "I'm just saying I'll be okay with some more."

"It's a deal," he replies and leans over to kiss her again. "I love you, Mer."

"I love you too," she answers, stroking his cheek with her fingers. "So much."

* * *

"Sorry I'm late." Molly said as she sat down at the table with Meredith, Kathleen and Lexie.

"It's okay," Meredith says and reaches for her water glass.

"We've only been here for a few minutes," Lexie states.

All four women open their menus to decide on dinner. Once they've placed their orders Meredith takes a deep breath and starts, "Thanks for meeting me for dinner."

"Why wouldn't we?" Lexie asks. "It's our weekly sisters dinner."

"Thanks for including me in this, by the way," Kathleen says with a smile that is exactly like her brother's.

"With the holidays, I wasn't sure -" Meredith sighs and waves her hand, slightly agitated.

"Are you all right?" Lexie asks.

"Yes," Meredith says and sighs again. "Let me just get this out."

"Oh," Molly squeals, "I know -"

"Wait," Meredith snaps. She shakes her head as her sisters start to giggle.

Kathleen gives a confused frown and asks, "Am I missing something?"

Meredith looks at each of the three women having dinner with her and finally grins. "I'm pregnant," she says with a little shrug. "Derek and I are going to have a baby."

Lexie and Molly start giggling again and jump up to hug their sister and kiss her on the cheek. Kathleen just stares at Meredith as her eyes fill with tears. "Okay, okay," Meredith says to her sisters, giggling a little bit herself as she hugs them in return. "Sit back down," she says and then notices Kathleen crying and smiling at the same time. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," Kathleen answers with a crack in her voice. "I just need a minute."

Molly waves her arm a little to get their waiter's attention. Once he comes over, she orders a bottle of champagne. "We're celebrating."

"I can't drink that," Meredith says happily.

"You can have a tiny bit to toast," Lexie says. "Then switch back to your water."

Kathleen is done crying and reaches across the table for Meredith's hand. "Congratulations," she says. "I don't have the right words to tell you how happy I am for you and Derek." Her eyes fill with tears again as she continues, "I am so thankful that you and Derek found one another. And now a baby."

Meredith's eyes become teary at Kathleen's words.

"All right," Molly interrupts as the waiter returns with the champagne and glasses. "Enough crying, let's celebrate."

The waiter uncorks the champagne and pours four glasses, puts the bottle on ice and retreats. Molly says, "To Meredith and Derek and their baby-on-the-way."

They all clink glasses, drink and start talking again. Their meals arrive and it's quiet for a bit as they all eat. After a few minutes Lexie asks, "What's the due date?"

"September third," Meredith answers. "I think. We haven't been to the Doctor yet but I'm pretty sure that's the correct date. I went online and found a due date calendar. There is a lot of baby related stuff. It's a little overwhelming actually."

"It can be," Kathleen says with a nod, "but just try to take it all a step at a time."

"I'll give you my copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting," Molly says. "It helped me with a lot of questions I had."

"Actually," Meredith says hesitantly, "I'm going to Barnes and Noble after dinner to see if they have any baby related books on CD." She shrugs as they all grin at her. "Just in case Derek wants to hear what the books have to say."

Kathleen laughs and says, "He'll probably memorize the entire set of CD's while you're at work and then school you."

"I know!" Meredith giggles.

They finish their dinner, talk some more and then - after more congratulatory hugs and kisses - Molly and Kathleen leave to go home. Meredith and Lexie go to Barnes and Noble together.


	52. How Was Dinner?

_Chapter 52: How Was Dinner?_

Meredith walks into a quiet and mostly dark house. She hangs up her coat and then goes in search of her husband. She smiles when she finds him in bed with his headphones on - listening to something. Perfect, she thinks and slips back into the kitchen to open the CD of What to Expect When You're Expecting.

"Meredith?"

"Hi," she answers as she walks back toward their bedroom and meets Derek in the hallway.

"I thought you were home," he smiles and bends his head to kiss his wife on her smiling mouth. "How was dinner?"

"Really nice," she answers and takes his hand to go back to their bedroom. "I was emotional about it all, of course."

"I'm sure the whole table was teary and emotional," Derek teases.

"Yeah," Meredith giggles. "Especially your sister."

"There's a shock."

"Be nice." Meredith giggles again. "Kathleen is really happy for us."

"I am being nice." Derek answers.

"Do you mind if I unplug your earphones? I have something I want you to hear."

"Of course not," he answers with a somewhat puzzled frown.

Meredith removes the music CD he'd been listening to and puts in the first of the baby book series. Her heart is pounding nervously for some odd reason. She moves to sit on the bed as the CD starts. She watches Derek's face for his reaction more than she listens to what's being said.

After a few moments of listening intently Derek turns to face his wife. He's a little choked up when he says, "This is a CD about our pregnancy."

"It is," she smiles and moves into his now open arms. She snuggles into him and they both get comfortable on the bed as they listen quietly to the introduction.

"Thank you for getting that for me to listen to with you." Derek says after using the remote to turn the stereo off.

"You're welcome," Meredith answers. "Molly offered to give me her book to read but I thought you might want to hear what the book has to offer, too."

"I definitely do." he agrees with a grin and a vigorous nod of his head. "What?" he asks when Meredith giggles.

"Kathleen says you'll listen ahead while I'm at work and then school me on the content."

"No, I won't," Derek says, sounding just a bit hurt.

"It's okay if you do, Derek."

"I won't. I don't want to listen ahead. We're in this together, Meredith. I can't be pregnant -"

Meredith started giggling with delight at that.

"Listen," he said with a grin and cupped her face in the palms of his hands. "I want to be involved in every way that I'm able. Meredith, you are pregnant but it's our pregnancy. Our child."

"You're making me cry again," she sniffles and wraps her arms tightly around him.

Derek returns her hug and whispers, "I love you. I love our child. I know I didn't want a baby but I'm over that. I'm thrilled that we're having a baby together, Mer. I want to be involved every step of the way."

"Can I remind you of that when I'm dragging you to the store with me at 2 a.m. because of some bizarre craving?"

"Yes," he chuckles and kisses her again. "Do you think you'll have weird cravings?"

"Who knows but the possibility exists."

"Vanilla ice cream and ketchup," he teases.

"Okay," she sighs, "that's disgusting. Before you go on," she says when he gives a little boy grin. "Did you tell Mark?"

"Yeah," Derek grins. "Of course, he's proud of himself for figuring it out before us."

"Oh great," Meredith groans. "We're going to hear about that for a long time."

"The rest of our lives," Derek agrees.

"Baby," Meredith says and rubs her tummy, "your Uncle Mark is going to tell you all kinds of crazy stories but don't listen to him. Okay?"

"You said 'Uncle Mark'," Derek says, sounding touched again.

"Yeah well," she sighs, snuggling into her husband. "He is like your brother so I may as well get used to the idea of an honorary Uncle for Baby. Just don't tell Mark yet."

"Okay," Derek chuckles and kisses the top of her head tenderly.


	53. New Years Surprise

_Chapter 53: New Years Surprise_

"Hi Meredith."

She was exiting her patient's room and looked up from the chart she had in her hands. "Hi Mark," she answered. Then she continued with a smile, "I'm feeling fine."

He chuckles, "Have I become predictable?"

"No, not you," she said with a shake of her head, "But my husband definitely is. Well, about some things. I'm certain you've been instructed to look out for the baby and I at all times."

"Something like that," Mark chuckles. "Are you really okay, though? It is New Year's Eve and you've been here for ten hours already."

"I really am fine," she assures him but sounds a little wistful.

"Why don't I believe you?"

"I'm just being a baby," she answers and rolls her eyes.

"About what? Meredith, if you aren't feeling well -"

"It's not that," she interrupts and giggles. "I agreed to the extra attention and babysitting. I'm not going back on my word. Like you said, it's New Year's Eve."

"Oh," Mark grins again, relieved. "You're sad because you'll be here at midnight and Derek is at home - therefore, no kiss for you."

"Exactly," she pouts. "Like I said, I'm being a baby about it."

"You are," he agrees and makes her laugh. "See you later."

"Bye," she answers with a shake of her head as she stops at the nurse's station.

* * *

At 11:45 Meredith receives a page to the fifth-floor nurse's station. She rolls out of the on-call room bed and frowns. She doesn't have a patient on the fifth floor - she thinks as she puts on her sneakers and then walks to the elevators.

Meredith gives a puzzled frown when she steps off the elevator and sees Mark at the nurse's station. Then she smiles upon realizing he's flirting with the nurse working the night shift. Probably trying to ensure a midnight kiss, she pouts to herself.

"Hi," she says to them.

"Good evening, Dr. shepherd," the nurse replies, suddenly professional.

"Come with me Meredith," Mark says. And to the nurse he grins and says, "I'll be right back, Linda."

Once they're on the elevator again Meredith giggles and teases, "That poor nurse."

"There won't be anything poor about her in -"

"Okay," Meredith interrupts, "I do not want details."

"Hey, I'm just making sure I have someone to ring in the New Year with."

"I know." Meredith sighs. "Mark, do you ever want to settle down?"

Mark groans then says, "Don't start trying to shove a family life at me just because you're pregnant and hormonal."

Meredith's back goes rigid with insult. And to her dismay her eyes fill with tears. "What? I'm not shoving - I mean," she stammers a little and takes a big breath. "I'm sorry. I was just wondering."

Mark heaves a giant sigh as the elevator doors open on the top floor of the hospital. He starts walking toward the staircase and then stops to look at Meredith. "No," he says, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I know you - and everyone else who asks me questions like that - care. And the answer is: I don't know. Okay?"

"Okay," she whispers, vowing to herself to keep her mouth shut in the future.

"Come on," Mark says and starts walking up the stairs.

"Where are we going?"

Mark opens the door to the roof and steps aside for Meredith. She gives a delighted gasp and a sparkling smile. Mark gives her a tiny push on the back and says, "To make sure you get your kiss at midnight."

Meredith walks out onto the roof and over to her wonderful and handsome husband. He's dressed in jeans, a button-up shirt and a dark blue sweater. "Hi," she whispers and wraps her arms around him, placing her lips on his for a soft and gentle kiss.

"Hi," he says. "Surprise."

"Definitely," she giggles and looks around again. There's a small table set for two - with white linen and glowing candles. There are two plates covered with silver lids and something chilling in an ice bucket. She picks up the bottle and giggles, "Sparkling cider, Derek?"

"Yes," he answers. "Besides the fact that you're working - I'm looking out for you and our baby."

She pours two glasses and walks back to hand him one. "Thank you," she says. "This is wonderful." She looks out at the shining lights of downtown Seattle and leans into her husband's arms. "I was missing you. Being a pouting baby because I couldn't be with you tonight."

Derek rubs his hand down her back and then reaches up to play with the ends of her ponytail. He hugs her tighter and replies, "There's no way I was going to sit at home - alone, without you - on New Year's Eve."

He leans down to kiss her again. They both feel happy and content.

"Next year our baby will be here," Meredith sighs and lays her hand on her stomach.

"Yes," Derek grins and places his hand over hers. "You'll be done with your Fellowship. Maybe we'll actually spend the evening at home. As a family, all together."

"That would be nice," she smiles. "This is pretty spectacular, though"

They listen as a clock in the distance chimes down to midnight. At the final stroke their lips attach, and they share a bone-melting and tender kiss. It's filled with love. Anticipation for the New year and the joys to come in their life together.

"Happy New Year, Meredith."

"Happy New Year, Derek."


	54. Surgery and Morning Sickness

_Chapter 54: Surgery and Morning Sickness_

Derek sat in the gallery listening to his wife teach as she conducted her surgery. She sounded tired to him. She sounded worn out and almost fragile.

"She's dragging, isn't she?" Mark's voice asked from over Derek's right shoulder.

"Yes." Derek answered, the frown deepening on his face.

"If it makes you feel any better Bailey just looked up here and nodded at us. She's aware of the situation."

"It does make me feel better, thank you."

"It also helps that the surgery is about complete."

As if on cue, ten minutes later Bailey asks, "Would you like me to close, Dr. Shepherd?"

"Yes, thank you Dr. Bailey," Meredith answers and turns to leave the operating room. Derek immediately gets up and Mark goes with him to make sure his friend doesn't fall on the stairs. He leaves Derek in the hallway outside the scrub room, though.

Derek walks in to the sound of his wife vomiting into the scrub room sink. He carefully walks over to her and silently rubs her back until the heaving passes. Then he grabs some paper towels and wets them down with cold water to wipe across her forehead and her neck. Meredith sags into his open arms and whispers, "I barely made it out of the OR. I contaminated a sterile environment."

"So," Derek soothed, "we'll rinse out the sink. It gets sterilized again after the surgery is done. You need to eat something and lie down."

"Oh God," she groaned, "I can't eat anything. The smell of the patient's blood is what set me off, And the idea of ingesting anything -" she trailed off as her body jerked at the thought.

"Will you just try some soup and some hot peppermint tea?"

She so wanted to say no again but she knew he was right. Besides, he was being so sweet and attentive. It wouldn't hurt her to try. Especially, if it made him feel better. "All right," she whispered, "I really need to just lie down first. Ten minutes, then I'll try some soup. I promise."

"Okay," he agreed and helped her out of her surgical gear. They walked slowly to an on-call room.

"You could've gone home three hours ago," Meredith said to Derek. "Kathleen was here to drive you, wasn't she?"

"Yes," he replied, "but I wasn't leaving knowing you had that surgery to get through. Now, I'm extra glad I stayed."

"Me too," she admitted as she kicked off her sneakers, pushed them under the bunk and gratefully laid her aching body down. Derek covered her with the meager blanket. Then he stood up and pulled the blanket from the top bunk to put over her, as well. He kissed her forehead and said, "I'll be right back."

"Uh huh," she sighed, already dozing off.

Derek went out into the hall and was immediately greeted by Lexie. "Is she all right?"

"Not really," he answered. "She's tired and already falling asleep. I'm going to stay with her, but will you bring her some peppermint tea and chicken soup? In a half an hour?"

"Of course," Lexie immediately agreed. "Did she really vomit in the scrub room?"

"Yes," Derek frowned. "How do you know that?"

"Oh well -"

"How, Lexie?"

"A scrub nurse, Katie, was laughing about it in front of the surgical board. I already gave her a piece of my mind. Then Bailey walked up and reamed her again. It's taken care of Derek, I promise."

"All right," he sighed, his jaw clenched in irritation. "I'm going back in with Meredith. Soup and tea in a half an hour."

"I'm on it," she smiled and patted his shoulder. "We'll all get Mer through her pregnancy."

"I know." he stated and went back into the on-call room to hold his wife and baby until her food arrived. He was happy that Lexie and Bailey had said something to this Katie, but he was going to do the same. He'd have Mark take him to her. He was not about to stay quiet while some petty twit took shots at his wife.


	55. First Baby Appointment

_Chapter 55: First Baby Appointment_

"Derek, we have plenty of time." Meredith laughed. "Just let me check on my patient and then we'll go to the appointment."

"Mer." he replied calmly. "Don't you remember what Kathleen said? She said don't be late or we'll end up being in the waiting room -"

"For hours," she giggled again and stopped her husband in the Seattle Grace lobby to wrap her arms around his waist. Then she leaned up and placed a very sweet and lingering kiss on his mouth. "I love you," she said softly. "Our baby loves you. We are forty-five minutes early for our appointment with Dr. Chu. We have," she kissed him again, "plenty," another kiss, "of time."

"You don't fight fair," he sighed and hugged her to him.

"Come on," she said and took his hand to go toward the elevator. "You can talk to Mark while I check on Mr. Tidwell."

"Mark might be busy."

"Mark's rarely busy at this time of day."

"You're in a mood today." Derek teased, pulling his wife closer to him.

"I know," she said as they stepped off the elevator onto the surgical floor. "I'm happy because we have a day off together, we're seeing the Dr., I haven't felt sick all day -"

"Thank God," Derek sighed. "And," he grinned, "we'll probably get to hear the baby's heartbeat today."

"Exactly," she giggled and kissed him yet again. Then whispered in his ear, "and then we can go home and have wild sex all over our house."

Derek groaned and shoved his hands in his wife's hair to thoroughly kiss her.

"Knock it off," they heard Mark's good-natured chuckle. "You've already made the baby. No one wants to witness your disgusting displays of lust and affection."

"You're wrong," Derek grinned, breaking the kiss with Meredith.

"Told you he wouldn't be busy," Mer teased. Then said to Mark, "I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm going to check on Mr. Tidwell in 5102."

"Don't you have a female doctor's appointment -"

Meredith just groaned as she walked away from her laughing husband and his confused best friend. Mark turned back to Derek and said, "If she's going to be a few minutes - I know where Katie-the-inappropriate-Scrub nurse is at the moment."

All traces of Derek's humor vanished, and his face immediately set in stone. "Let's go."

Mark took Derek to the fifth-floor nurse's station where Katie was filing charts. "Katie," Mark said.

"Dr. Sloan," she smiled at the sound of his voice and turned around. Upon seeing Derek with Mark - her smile vanished, and she looked a little nervous.

"This is Dr. Shepherd," Mark introduced him to Katie.

"I know," she said. "Hello, Dr. Shepherd."

"Hello Katie," he answered, his usual warmth clearly absent. "Have we met before today?"

"No Sir," she answered, "I know who you are. And I scrub-in frequently with your wife."

Mark put his hand on Derek's shoulder and leaned in to quietly say, "No one else is around at the moment. And I'll be on the other side of this nurse's station when you're done."

Derek nodded his head in quiet acknowledgement and then said nothing for a moment until he was certain Mark was out of the way. He didn't want to embarrass Katie, but he did want her to understand that he knew exactly what was going on. "Katie," he said quietly but with definite authority.

She swallowed nervously before answering, "Yes?"

"Why are you a scrub nurse?"

"Excuse me?" she asked, definitely confused. "I don't understand what you're asking me, Sir."

"Really?" Derek flashed a quick, cold smile. "Let me rephrase my question. Why did you decide to become a nurse?"

Katie swallowed hard again but also narrowed her eyes at him. She momentarily considered walking away. It wasn't like he'd know. She quickly dismissed that stupid idea. Dr. Shepherd was well-respected around here. From what she understood - Chief Webber had been grooming Shepherd to be Chief before he lost his sight. She'd be a moron to be disrespectful.

"I care about being a nurse," she answered carefully. "It's a profession I believe in and I take pride in my work. It feels good to know I can help someone feel better and get healthy."

"If that's true," Derek said calmly, "how do you explain laughing about someone being ill? That's not noble or caring. It certainly doesn't show an ounce of pride about your profession."

"I'm sorry, Sir," Katie said carefully. "I know this about me laughing at your wife -"

"This is about your lack of professionalism," Derek interrupted. He ground his teeth angrily. He wanted to lash out at this woman for the way he'd treated his precious wife but knew that he couldn't. Besides the fact that Meredith would be pissed if she found out - it would put a small ding in his credibility. So, even though this was personally motivated, he had to keep it professional. "I'm wondering about your patient care."

"Excuse me?" Katie asked, now she sounded insulted. "My patient care is exemplary."

"I hope so," Derek stated, "because it's being looked into. You raised some red flags by laughing at your colleague being ill." He paused and then stressed, "Your superior. If you can treat your superior with such an uncaring and callous attitude - how do you treat your patients? They're fragile and completely vulnerable while in our care. They deserve the best care and consideration while in this hospital. I'm going to make certain that you're providing that for them. Understood?"

"Yes Sir," she answered.

"That's all," Derek said and listened as Katie's footsteps carried her toward the stairwell.

"Wow," Mark said from Derek's right.

"Did you hear all of that?"

"Hell yes," Mark chuckled. "I'm glad I've never given you a reason to be angry at me like that."

"Chicken shit," Derek chuckled.

"Damn right," Mark agreed. "Your kid is never going to step out of line."

"Sure, he will." Derek said. "He'll probably steal the car keys in the middle of the night when he's fifteen. Just to go see the girl he has a crush on."

"That's what you did," Mark laughed.

"That's why I know my son will do the same thing."

"Or your daughter." Mark said and laughed as Derek paled.

"No," Derek said with a vigorous shake of his head. "If we have a daughter - there will be no sneaking out."

"You don't know that," Mark laughed again.

"I do," Derek insisted, "There will be bars on her bedroom window by the time she's ten."

"That's a double standard."

"So?"

"So - do you think Meredith's going to go for that?"

"She won't have a choice," Derek grunted, caveman style.

"Oh, how I'm going to love watching this drama unfold," Mark grinned. "Speaking of drama," he said, serious again. "Are you really looking into Katie's patient care?"

"Yes," Derek answered. "I really want to know that she's treating our patients with more consideration than she showed Meredith."

"I'll help you."

"You don't have to," Derek said.

"I know but I want to, and you'll need the help reading the charts. There's something that seems off about Katie and I agree with you. If she can treat a superior the way she did Mer - how does she treat our patients? And speaking of Mer - there she is." They walked up to her and she automatically took Derek's hand in hers.

"You okay?" Derek asked, sensing something.

"Mr. Tidwell's running a high post-op fever. I'm worried about infection. I prescribed antibiotic but -" she trailed off.

"You're worried," Derek stated.

"Yes." she sighed.

"Let's go to our appointment with Dr. Chu. We'll come back to check on Mr. Tidwell afterward," Derek said.

"Okay," Meredith sighed, a little emotional. She was so grateful that Derek understood about being a Doctor. Not only that - he accepted that she got emotional about it sometimes.

"I'll keep an eye on him for you too," Mark said.

"Thanks," Meredith said. "I have my intern - Riley - with Mr. Tidwell, but I feel better knowing you're looking out, too."

"Of course, you do," Mark said cockily and made her laugh. "I'm far superior to an intern."

"True," Meredith laughed. "Arrogant, but true."

Then Meredith and Derek walked together to the elevators. Their excitement about hopefully hearing their baby's heartbeat back in the forefront of their minds and conversation.

* * *

Meredith could tell Derek was nervous as they sat waiting for their appointment in Dr. Chu's office. As she filled out all the required paperwork, she assumed it was nervous excitement about the baby and hearing the heartbeat. However, once she was done with the papers and holding his hand, Derek started tapping his foot. It dawned on Meredith that his nerves were about being in new, completely unfamiliar surroundings. I'm an idiot, she thought to herself. Then she leaned closer to her husband and said softly, "The waiting room is rectangular, with ten chairs along three walls. The door to leave is immediately to your right. The door into the exam rooms is directly across from that."

Derek turned his head while she was speaking to him and smiled. When she was done, he said, "You knew I was nervous."

"Yes," she said rummaging around in her purse. "I'm sorry it took me a few minutes to realize why."

"No, don't be sorry, Mer. You're amazing and I could've simply told you but," he trailed off.

"You don't want me to worry."

"Yes," he admitted.

"We get to worry about - and take care of - each other Derek," she said. Then she put his iPod in his hands and said, "Listen to your music - it'll calm you down. I'm going to use the restroom."

Derek put the ear buds in and scrolled through until he heard a song he wanted to listen to. Meredith was right about the music calming him more, but she'd done most of that just by explaining the layout of the room to him.

A few minutes later he felt Meredith sit back down beside him. He turned off the iPod and held her hand after she put it back in her purse. "As soon as we go through the door to the inner office - we'll turn right for my weigh-in," she ended this sentence on a groan.

Derek laughed and said, "Meredith, you don't have anything to worry about in regard to being weighed."

She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and giggled. Then she replied, "Regardless, no woman enjoys being weighed. Most women don't enjoy the idea of the number on the scale going up - me included."

"It's supposed to go up," he states reasonably. "You are pregnant."

She sighs and rolls her eyes. Then continues with her original topic. "We'll make another right out of the little torture-scale room. Ten feet down on the left is the restroom. And a perfect left diagonal from that is exam room number five - where we'll be going."

Derek squeezes her hand in his and whispers, "Thank you for finding out. Even though we'll be together - it still helps to see it in my head."

"I know," she replies and feels a huge squeeze of love around her heart.

"Mrs. Shepherd," the nurse calls from the check-in window.

"Yes," Meredith answers and gets up from her seat to walk over.

"We need to take a photo copy of your insurance card."

"All right," Meredith answers and goes back to pull it from her wallet. After the nurse makes a copy and Meredith sits back down with Derek - he chuckles.

"What?"

"She said, 'Mrs. Shepherd' and you didn't correct her."

Meredith puts her hand on his cheek and feels the wave of intense emotion again. "That's because I'm proud to be your 'Mrs.' You know that. The only place I insist on 'Dr. Shepherd' is at work," she finishes and leans in to kiss him quickly - again. She's completely oblivious to the other two pregnant women in the office watching her and Derek. Just a bit enviously.

A few minutes later Meredith is called in for her exam and she and Derek walk in hand in hand.

* * *

Dr. Chu is an amazing Doctor and Meredith and Derek immediately feel comfortable with her. She's very no nonsense but she still took the time to talk to them and answer the few questions they had. The baby's expected due date was confirmed: September third.

"Considering the pregnancy is nine weeks along - we should be able to hear the baby's heartbeat. If you want to hear it," said Dr. Chu with a smile.

"We want to hear it," Meredith and Derek said together.

"I thought so," answered Dr. Chu. Then she had Meredith lay back on the exam table and lift her shirt. "You both know how this works. Right?"

"Yes," they answered, again in unison.

Derek was sitting in a chair on one side of the exam room table. Meredith reached out to take his hand in hers as Dr. Chu put the cold gel onto her stomach. Then she moved the Doppler around Meredith's still flat stomach - in search of baby Shepherd's rapid heartbeat. When she found it, Dr. Chu said, "There it is." She left the Doppler in place so Derek and Meredith could listen to the beautiful sound of their baby's heartbeat.

Meredith's eyes filled with tears and she turned to look at Derek. He squeezed her hand tightly in his and the look on his face was one of complete awe. He was grinning the hugest smile. It was his happy smile for her, but it was also filled with pride. He turned his face toward hers and then leaned down to kiss her on the lips. "That's our baby," he whispered, his face still close to her and their hands still clasped tightly.

"I know," she said and giggled. "It's good and strong."

"The baby's heartbeat is 175 beats per minute," Dr. Chu said. "That's perfect for this stage of it's development. She moved the Doppler a bit and said, "This swishing sound is the blood flowing and the placenta inside the uterus. This," she moved back to the baby, "is the baby's heart. I'm sure - being Doctors - you can tell the difference."

"Yes," Derek answered while Meredith nodded. She was still on the verge of tears.

Dr. Chu put the Doppler away and handed Meredith some tissue to wipe the cold gel away. "I'm sure," Dr. Chu said, "you'll probably be able to find the baby's heartbeat with your stethoscopes."

Meredith laughed as she sat up on the table. "I know how I'll be waking up for the next seven months."

Derek just grinned. "Okay," Dr. Chu said. "I'll have my nurse give you the paperwork to test for HIV and then I'll see you back here in a month."

After Dr. Chu left, Meredith went into Derek's arms for a tight hug. "That was our baby's heart beating," she whispered and started to cry.

"I know," he whispered in return, sounding choked up. "It was amazing." he rubbed her back softly until she finished crying.

"All right." she giggled. "I'm okay now. After we check on Mr. Tidwell - let's get some lunch. I'm so hungry."

"Okay." he chuckled and held her hand as they left the exam room.


	56. Feel Like Crap

_Chapter 56: Feel Like Crap_

Derek awoke with a start - immediately certain that something was wrong.

"Meredith?" he called her name softly while reaching for her, but her side of the bed was cold. Which meant she'd been gone for a while. "Meredith?" he called again, getting up to search for her. He heard her moan as he passed the bathroom and stepped inside.

"Mer," he sighed, feeling his way toward her.

"Be careful." she whispered, sounding miserable.

Derek would've laughed if he wasn't so worried about her. Her morning sickness had become worse over the past three weeks. It hit her hard and it hit her frequently. There didn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it. He realized she was laying on the bathroom floor. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Why should we both be sleep deprived and miserable?" She asked the question and then groaned, sounding like she wanted to cry. "I think I can make it back to bed now."

Gritting his teeth to keep from snapping at her, Derek scooped her into his arms.

"Derek -" she started to protest but trailed off when he interrupted her.

"Stop!"

She was distracted from her own misery by the anger she heard in his voice. She didn't say anything as he took her back to their bed and laid her down, covering her with the blankets and then walking out again. He came back a few minutes later with ginger ale and saltine crackers. The last thing she wanted to do was swallow anything - for fear it'd come straight back up - but she knew she needed something inside her stomach. Which meant their baby did, too. So, she took a few sips of the ginger ale and ate a cracker. All the while studying her silent, angry husband.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"What for?" He asked, surprising her again with his sarcastic tone.

To her utter dismay, Meredith's eyes immediately filled with hot, sorrowful, angry tears. "I don't know," she sobbed. "Whatever the hell you're pissed at me about! I've remained committed to letting everyone coddle and smother me and constantly ask me how I'm feeling! I want to wear a tee shirt that says, **_'I feel like shit all the time! Stop asking!_**' I'm losing weight, not gaining it and that freaks me out!"

"Mer," he said softly and reached out to touch her cheek.

She slapped his hand away and continued yelling, "No, don't touch me! You don't get to be angry at me for some reason I'm unaware of! And you don't get to calm me down right now! I'm perfectly aware I'm having an emotionally charged, hormonal outburst! Deal with it!" She finished and flung herself down on the bed to finish crying.

After a few brief moments, Derek laid down behind her and pulled her into his arms. She struggled just a little, but he kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear, "I am going to comfort you. So, you deal with that."

She gave up the angry struggle and wiggled closer to him, pulling his arms more tightly around her. When she was done crying, she rolled over in his arms and whispered, "I'm sorry."

This time when he reached up to stroke her cheek, she let him, leaning into his caress. "Don't be," he said. "I'm surprised you held all of that in for this long."

"Why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not," he sighed.

"You were a few minutes ago. Why?"

"I don't like that you're shutting me out -"

"What? I've been -"

He kissed her softly and then said, "You asked me a question. Let me finish giving you my answer before you get defensive."

"Fine," she said, closing her tired eyes but still listening to him speak.  
"You have held up your end of our bargain about letting people care for you and ask how you're doing. I'm grateful for that but you've been treating me the same way as everyone else. That makes me angry."

Meredith thought about what Derek said and then leaned up to run her fingers down his cheek. "It hurts you."

He nodded his agreement.

"I'm sorry Derek," she said. "You're right that I've been doing that to you, but it hasn't been deliberate. I guess I just haven't wanted to burden you with my constant misery."

"Meredith -"

"It's my turn to finish."

He grinned at her and said, "Okay."

"I'm thrilled that we're having this baby Derek, but I really do feel like crap all the time. We're coming into the second trimester and supposedly this nausea will let up. I'm praying that's true. I really haven't meant to shut you out, but I haven't wanted to tarnish your happiness about the baby, either. That's my happiness too. You talking to the baby and listening to his heartbeat - those are my happy moments, too. Does that make sense?"

"Yes," he whispered, "it makes sense, but you have to understand that I want - need - to be a part of all of this with you, Mer. This is my child, too. And it hurts me that you feel like crap and there's nothing I can do about it. Wake me up in the middle of the night if you're sick. Tell me how you're feeling. Don't make me ask all the time like everyone else. Page me in the middle of the day if you just need a hug. Okay?"

"Okay," she agreed and then yawned. "I love you, Derek."

"I know," he said and kissed her. "I love you too, Mer. By the way, I heard you call the baby a boy. How do you know it's not a girl?"

"I don't," she laughed, "However, I do have a feeling it's a boy."

"Okay." Derek answered, grinning. "Let's go back to sleep now."

"Uh huh," she agreed. Already halfway there now that she was feeling made-up with her husband. And thankfully - at least for the moment - her stomach was free of the nausea.


	57. I Need A 'Hug'

_Chapter 57: I Need A 'Hug'_

Derek was with Mark in one of the hospital conference rooms when his phone rang.

"Hi Meredith."

"Hi Derek," she answered, and he was relieved to hear that she sounded good. She asked, "Where are you?"

"I'm taking care of some stuff with Mark."

"Can you get away for a while?"

"Are you all right?" he asked, noticing the slight urgency in her voice. Maybe he was wrong, and everything wasn't so good with her.

"I'm fine," she replied and giggled, sending his pulse a notch higher. "Remember the other night when you said to call you if I need a hug?"

"Yes," he laughed.

"Well," she replied and lowered her voice, "I need at least a hug. Now."

Derek's brain turned to complete mush. He didn't believe she was actually asking him for sex. Yet it was the only thing his body could come up with from the tone of her voice. It wasn't possible though. He'd been back to work at the hospital for nearly four months. And no matter how much he teased and suggested sex in an on-call room - she said no.

"Derek?"

"Yes?" he asked, clearing his throat, trying his best not to be obvious to Mark.

"Have Mark put you on the elevator and come to the seventh floor," Meredith instructed and hung up.

Derek hung up his phone in a bit of a daze.

"Is she all right," asked Mark.

"I think so," Derek replied, getting up. "I'm going to meet her on the seventh floor."

"Maybe I should go with you," Mark suggested, walking his friend to the elevator.

"No thanks," Derek grinned. "I can check on my wife on my own. She said she needs a hug." At the least, he thought.

"Oh," Mark laughed. "So now her hormones are making her all gross and cuddly. Good luck with that," he said and sent Derek up to the requested floor.

"Hi," Meredith giggled as she grabbed Derek's hand in hers when he stepped off the elevator. "I'm so glad you were able to ditch Mark and meet me."

"Mer?" Derek questioned, unable to hide the hopeful desire in his voice.

"Hold on," she said, still walking them quickly down the hall. "Derek, I feel great! I feel better than I have in - god, I don't even know how long. My surgery went perfectly." she said as she pushed open a door to an on-call room and pulled him inside. Locking the door behind them she threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately.

Derek returned her kiss with equaled fervor and pulled her lower body roughly to his. When he felt himself immediately begin to harden, he pushed her back, saying, "Wait. Wait Meredith."

"No," she said and surprised the hell out of him by pushing him to sit down in a chair. "We haven't had sex in nine days because I've felt so miserable."

"I know," he groaned, his body hardening more at what sounded like her taking her clothes off. "Mer, you always say no -"

"Forget everything I've ever said about no sex at work."

Derek was so surprised - and turned on - by her change of heart, he couldn't answer. She went to stand between his legs and put his hands on her hips. He trailed his fingers over her body and realized all she had on was her panties and bra. He leaned forward and kissed her stomach, which was definitely starting to feel a little bit swollen.

"Derek," she sighed, running her fingers through his hair. "Please, baby, please."

"You don't have to beg Mer," he said. "Even if it is outrageously sexy. It's just -"

He trailed off as she took one of his hands and brought it up to cup her breast and feel her nipple getting hard, poking through the silky fabric of her bra. He tweaked the nipple between his fingers and grinned when she moaned.

"Meredith," he said huskily, "if we keep going - I'm not going to be able to stop."

She took his other hand and slid it into the front of her panties, gasping as he touched her wetness. She whispered, "Does it feel like I want you to stop?"

Derek's control snapped and he slid two fingers deep inside Meredith. She squealed in delight and arched her fevered body into her husband. He rapidly slid his fingers in and out of her, rubbing his thumb over her tender, erect clit until she exploded into a million little pieces. Then she slumped against his body, breathing hard but far from finished.

Derek stood up - with his lovely wife still leaning on him. He quickly removed his own clothes and the little that remained of hers. Then he sat back down and pulled Meredith down to slide hotly onto his fully hard and erect penis.

"Oh God," Meredith moaned, her inner walls still shaking from orgasm. She slid off of Derek and then slowly back on. Rotating her hips to take him deeper inside of her.

"Meredith," he groaned, putting his hands on her hips to help with the slow thrusting. "You feel," he stopped to breathe and kiss her neck, "tighter."

"I know," she said, arching her neck back and bringing his mouth to one of her nipples. "It's definitely - different," she started thrusting faster, more urgently. Feeling his body tensing along with hers. "Amazing."

"Yeah," he groaned, thrusting up to meet her, harder and harder still when she screamed and orgasmed tightly around him. And then she leaned over and bit his neck, hard. The pain of the bite immediately turned to hot pleasure and he exploded inside of her, yelling her name.

They sat there fused together, panting in one another's arms for a long while afterward. Meredith finally lifted her head from Derek's shoulder and kissed his mouth sweetly. "That was awesome," she giggled.

"Yeah it was," he laughed and pinched her butt.

"Hey," she said and kissed him again. "Oh," she said, "umm Derek."

"What?" he asked suspiciously.

She ran her tongue lightly over the side of his neck.

"Are you ready for more?"

"Yes," she said, "but I have to go back to work."

"I know," he sighed, "me too."

They disengaged and took their time dressing. Stopping many times to kiss and hug one another.

"I hope you still feel well tonight," Derek grinned. They left the on call room, wrapped in one another's arms and laughing.

"Me too. I have to tell you something," she said at the elevator.

"What?" he asked as they stepped inside - thankfully alone.

Meredith reached up and touched the side of his neck gently. "I left my teeth marks on you."

"Really?" His grin widened and he said, "That's great."

Meredith laughed as they stepped off the elevator on the surgical floor. This amazing man she was lucky enough to call her husband never ceased to amaze her. Derek felt the same way about her. She left him in the conference room and went back to work.


	58. What Ifs

_Chapter 58: What Ifs_

"What's wrong?"

Meredith was aware of her sister asking the question, but she didn't have an answer for her. So, she sat there, staring off into space, pushing her food around on her plate.

Lexie looked at Cristina - urging her to say something. Cristina cleared her throat and then asked, "Are you feeling sick again?"

"Huh?' Meredith asked and blinked - trying to focus.

"Sick. Are you feeling sick from your pregnancy again?"

"No," Meredith sighed and forced herself to take a bite of the salad in front of her. Just because she was worried about Derek didn't mean everyone else had to worry about her, too. Her food tasted like crap - a lot of mushy nothing - but she finished it along with a bottle of water.

"Where's Derek?" Lexie asked.

"I don't know."

"He's here today," Cristina said. "I sat in on his lecture this morning."

"He always eats lunch with you on the days he's here," Lexie stated.

"Well, apparently he had better plans today," Meredith snapped and got up to leave the cafeteria alone.

"Are they fighting?" Cristina asked Lexie.

"I don't know," she answered. "Something is definitely wrong, though."

* * *

"Hey," Mark said from the doorway of the conference room. "What's up?"

"Can you take me home?" Derek asked, sounding grouchy.

"Are you and Meredith fighting?" Mark asked with a concerned frown.

"No," Derek answered and heaved a sigh.

Mark moved to sit at the table with Derek and asked, "What's going on? You're in a pissy mood, your wife looks like crap."

"What?" Derek asked sharply, snapping his head up.

"She's beautiful," Mark laughed, "but she's pale today and moping around. Which is completely different from last week when she was biting you in the on-call room."

Derek didn't laugh or show any reaction to the fact that his best friend was on to him and Meredith using the on-call room for sex. He sat in his chair, tense and looking like he wanted to break something. Mark stared at him for several silent moments and then finally heaved a giant sigh as he realized what was going on. "I'm sorry, Derek."

"Why, because you can tell me my wife is beautiful?"

"Yes," Mark said simply. "Also, because it's been so long since you've had a pity party about being blind that I didn't realize you were having one. I wouldn't have said what I did."

"I know," Derek replied and ran his hands over his face in agitation. "I also know I'm being a self-absorbed prick right now, but I really hate -" he broke off with a loud sigh and shoulder shrug.

"You hate that you can't see Meredith. And you hate that you won't be able to see your child."

"Yes. I know I shouldn't get so wrapped up in not having my sight -"

"Why not? It freaking sucks for you but you need to talk to your wife about it. Don't shut her out, Derek. You know Meredith on an appropriately different level than I do but I know how she was before you. She's made of really strong stuff. She's not Addison - she won't leave you because you're having some self-doubt."

"And a pity party," Derek said, giving a very small smile.

"That too," Mark grinned. "Come on - I'll buy you a drink at Joe's. Then if you still want me to take you home - I will."

"I don't know about Joe's," Derek hesitated.

"It'll be one drink, Derek. Let Meredith know so she doesn't worry about you."

"Thanks Dad," Derek said sarcastically. "By the way, I know my wife is beautiful."

"I know you do." Mark chuckled in response.

* * *

Meredith pulled into the garage hours later. She'd been called into surgery for a car accident victim with severe head injuries, so Mark had brought Derek home.

She walked through the quiet house toward their bedroom. Derek was already asleep, so she went to the bathroom and turned the shower on to a nearly scalding temperature. She took her time in the shower and when she got out and dried off, she felt a little better physically but not mentally.

Pulling a long sleeve tee shirt and comfy tap pants from her drawer she got dressed. And then she sat down on the floor of her bedroom and started crying. Loud, gut-wrenching sobs that she had absolutely no control over.

"Meredith?" Derek asked in alarm as he jerked awake at the sound of her crying. He went immediately to her and pulled her into his arms. His heart pounding with fear he asked, "What's wrong, baby?"

Meredith just wrapped her arms around him and cried until her tears were all dried up. He held her, rubbed her back and kept kissing her. After a while he asked, "Can you tell me now?"

"I lost my patient."

"I'm sorry," he said. It always sucked to lose a patient. Always. And it never got easier.

Derek stood up - keeping Meredith in his arms and went back to bed. He covered them both with the blankets but kept her snugly in his arms as he said, "I'm sorry I've been acting like a jerk the past few days."

"Are you ready to tell me what's going on?"

"As Mark says, I've been having a pity party," Derek sighed.

"What?"

"I'm pissed that I can't see you, Mer. And that I won't be able to see our baby. And I have to tell you - even though I'm really happy about having the baby - I'm also really freaked out about it. I have no idea what kind of father I'm going to be. What if I really suck at it?"

"What if I suck at being a mom?"

"No way," Derek said so sincerely and so emphatically that Meredith giggled.

"Thank you baby, but I may just be an awful mom. God knows mine wasn't exactly the best and she's the only example I have."

"You'll be a great mom, Mer. I know it. Just the fact that you're worrying about it tells me you will be."

"You're worrying about it too, Derek. So, follow your own advice."

"I want to," he whispered, "Mer, it really freaks me out that I won't be able to take care of our baby in the same way as if I could see."

"We'll figure it out. We'll make it work Derek but think about this. The baby won't be able to see at first, either. He -"

"Or she," Derek interrupted.

"Or she," Meredith agreed with a giggle, "will be bonding with us through touch and taste mostly. How we respond to him or her is what's going to create the initial security and bonding. It has absolutely nothing to do with sight at first. The playing field will be even - so to speak."

"You're amazing," Derek whispered, feeling his heart swell with pride and love. He touched her face and gently ran his fingertips down her nose and across her lips. He felt her breath catch before she whispered, "What are you doing?"

"Looking at you," he replied and then leaned down to kiss her softly.

"Oh," she sighed as the kiss broke and he continued looking at her body with his fingers. As he neared her tummy she grabbed his hand and said, "There's something I should tell you."

"What?"

"Another reason I started crying."

"What?" he asked again.

"I'm fat," she stated and sounded so miserable that Derek started laughing.

"It's not funny!"

"Oh Mer, it really is funny."

"It's not," she insisted, sounding like she might cry again. "My clothes are tight and getting uncomfortable. I'm getting fat."

"If they're uncomfortable," Derek stated, grabbing the waistband of her pants and tugging. "Then you need to get out of them." And he pulled her shirt up and over her head, too. "Better?"

"Yes," she sighed, "infinitely. Except now I'm cold."

"I'll take care of that too," he said and continued running his hands all along her body after discarding his own clothing.

"I love you," Meredith said, running her hands all over him, too. "Everything will work out."

"I know," he whispered. "I love you, too."

That was the last of the talking for the night. As they were much more happily involved in making love to one another.


	59. Baby Shepherd is A

_Chapter 59: Baby Shepherd is A…_

Meredith and Derek were cuddling together on the couch. She was eighteen weeks pregnant and definitely had a baby bump. The thing was - it was still so tiny that it wasn't obvious that she was pregnant.

"If I have to wear fat clothes - I want it to be obvious that I'm pregnant," Meredith said with a heavy sigh.

Derek chuckled, kissed her temple and said, "I'm pretty sure they're called 'maternity clothes,' Mer."

"Maternity, fat," she replied with a giggle. "No big difference while the result is gaining weight."

"Mmmm," Derek replied.

"Mmmm?" Meredith asked with an edge in her voice and twisted out of his arms. "What the hell does 'mmmm' mean? Do you think I'm fat?"

"No." Derek answered immediately.

"So, what does mmmm mean," she persisted...

Derek sighed and then answered, "It means that I know nothing I say is going to make you feel better in the moment. So, mmmm is my acknowledgement that I hear you but I'm wise enough to keep my mouth shut otherwise."

"Oh," she said with a little crack in her voice. "I'm being an unreasonable pain in the ass." Then, she burst into tears but let Derek pull her back into his arms and hold her through the storm.

"I'm so sorry Derek," Meredith said when she was done crying. "Who knew I'd be such a ridiculous pregnant woman?"

"Mer," he said gently, kissing her again. "You're hormonal, not ridiculous. I understand - as much as I can - what you're going through. According to what the doctor told us last week - your hormones should be leveling out soon."

"Thank God."

"Mmmm," Derek chuckled.

"Safe answer there, Dr. Shepherd," Meredith laughed.

He rubbed his hands across her tiny baby bump again and said, "You're beautiful, Meredith. This is our baby you're growing in your amazing body. Thank you."

"I think I might cry again," Meredith sighed around the lump in her throat. "By the way, in case you need reminding, I didn't make this baby on my own."

"No," he chuckled, "You definitely didn't, but you are doing all the work right now."

"That's okay," she said, snuggling closer to his warmth. "It's an honor and a pleasure. Even if the getting fat part is irrationally and hormonally annoying."

Derek laughed again and then said, "I love you, Mer."

"I love you too, Derek. We have our ultrasound in two weeks."

"I know."

"Do you want to know the baby's gender or be surprised at the birth?"

"Do you have a preference?"

"Surprisingly, no," she answered.

"I'd really like to find out at the ultrasound." Derek stated.

Meredith turned in his arms and kissed him softly on the mouth. "Then we'll find out." she whispered.

"You're certain?"

"Absolutely."

"Wow!" Derek grinned, "In two weeks we'll know if we're having a daughter or a son."

"Providing Baby Shepherd cooperates," Meredith stated.

"The baby will cooperate." Derek said so adamantly that Meredith laughed.

"Is that right?"

"Yes."

"How do you know that?"

"Because our baby is going to listen to Daddy - that's why."

Meredith just laughed.

* * *

Half-way, Meredith thought, rubbing her hand over the baby bump that had finally popped. She was half-way through her pregnancy, it was finally obvious that she and Derek were having a baby and today they'd find out the gender of said baby. Still rubbing her belly, Meredith said, "Hi Baby." She and Derek had been talking to the baby all along. Listening in on its swishing world with their stethoscopes. Lately though, it seemed Meredith was talking to the baby all the time. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she finally felt pregnant - rather than just sick and bloated - but she wanted to include their baby in almost every conversation. "Today Daddy and I will find out if you are a son or a daughter. Just so you know, we're perfectly happy with either. We just want you to be healthy and happy."

"Also, sleeping through the night right from the beginning," Derek added as he walked into the bedroom.

Meredith giggled and turned to reply but her breath caught in her throat at the sight of her gorgeous husband. He was fresh from the shower, with a towel wrapped around his waist and drips of water still clinging to his hair and skin.

"Mer?"

"Sorry," she sighed. "I'm distracted by my lust for you."

"Really?" He asked, walking toward her and grinning.

"Yes, really."

He reached out for her and she went willingly into his arms. Derek immediately realized she too was still naked, at least from the waist up. "Oh God," he groaned.

They made love quickly, a little roughly and very, very hotly. In the car, on the way to the hospital Meredith started giggling.

"What?"

"We're going to be a little late. Do you suppose we should tell the ultrasound tech the reason why?"

Derek laughed and said, "Probably not. Although, considering the baby in your belly, obviously we have a sex life."

Naturally, they had to wait a while to actually get in for their ultrasound. Meredith wondered what the point of an appointment was when you still ended up having to wait. She was damned anxious to make sure everything was okay with their little sweetie.

"It's okay," Derek whispered, squeezing her hand in his.

"The waiting is driving me crazy."

"I know."

Finally, it was their turn. The ultrasound tech squeezed the cold gooey stuff onto Meredith's protruding tummy and started looking at their baby. Meredith's eyes welled with tears and her breath hitched at the first sight of the baby.

"Oh Derek," she whispered and reached out to take his hand again. "There's the baby's tiny heart. It looks great - all four chambers present and accounted for."

"The ultrasound tech looked a little surprised but then she said, "I forgot for a moment that you're a surgeon. You probably know exactly what you're looking at."

"Yes," Meredith answered immediately. She described everything to Derek during the entire check-up. Toward the end the tech asked if they wanted to know the baby's gender. "Yes," they answered in unison and laughed. "Can you put the results in an envelope?" Meredith asked and felt Derek squeeze her hand again.

"Of course," the tech smiled. "Okay Mommy, look away now."

Meredith turned her head away from the screen and gazed at Derek. He looked just as excited as she felt about this. Today. They'd know if they were having a son or a daughter.

"All done," the tech announced. "Just let me have the Radiologist look over the scans. Then I'll be back with pictures of your baby. Would you like them on paper or on disc?"

"Can we have some of both?" Meredith asked. "With the gender on disc, though."

"Sure." the tech smiled and left the room.

Meredith grabbed some tissue to wipe off the gooey stuff, fixed her clothing and went to wrap her arms around Derek. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too." he replied

After they left their ultrasound, Meredith and Derek walked toward the elevators hand in hand. "I want to know now," Derek said.

"Me too." Meredith giggled and glanced at her watch. We have time before you have to teach your class. Do you want to sneak in the conference room and find out?"

"Yes," Derek grinned, shaking his head vigorously up and down.

They got off the elevator and immediately ran into an intern. "Dr. Shepherd?"

"Is it an emergency?"

"Well, umm, no," the intern answered.

"Then it has to wait. Sorry," Meredith said and continued moving toward the conference room with Derek.

"Hey," Lexie grinned upon seeing them. "How'd it go?"

"Great," they answered together and stepped into the thankfully deserted conference room. Meredith immediately walked to the DVD player and Derek said, "Lexie, please leave."

"What?" She asked in confusion. Then she said, "Oh my God! You're going to find out the gender right now! No fair! I want to be here for this."

"No," Derek said firmly.

"Meredith?"

"Lex." she said with pleading in her eyes.

"All right fine..." Lexie pouted. "Have your private moment."

"Thank you," Meredith said and shut the door behind her sister. Then she shut all the blinds, pushed play and sat on Derek's lap. They wrapped their arms around one another.

"There's the heart," Meredith said and gave Derek a rundown of all the pictures. "Arm, foot, gorgeous, perfect brain, face, femur." Then she started crying and giggling.

"Boy or girl?" Derek asked softly.

Meredith took Derek's hand and placed it over her belly. "Daddy," she said, her voice full of awe, "This is our son."

"A boy," Derek said, his voice just as reverent and emotional as Meredith's now. Then he pulled her mouth to his for a soft and tender kiss. "We're going to have a son." he said, grinning.

"I know." she giggled. "It's amazing."

"What is it?" Mark's loud voice boomed through the door.

"We should make them wait to find out." Derek grumbled.

"Not nice," Meredith giggled.

"Yeah, yeah," Derek agreed and hugged Meredith again before they both got up. "Can I tell them?"

"Yes."

Derek opened the conference room door, and with a grin on his face said, "Our baby is a boy!"


	60. Derek's Surprise

_Chapter 60: Derek's Surprise_

"Why in the world do you need this stuff?"

"You'll find out when I'm done," Meredith replied as she took the cork board and push pins from her sister.

"Okay," Lexie said, definitely puzzled.

"Are you sure you don't need any help with," she paused and shook her head before continuing, "whatever it is that you're doing."

"I'm sure but thank you. And don't mention this to anyone, please."

"Mention what?" Lexie giggled.

"Exactly," Meredith grinned.

Once Lexie left the conference room, Meredith locked the door and shut the blinds. Then she sat down and pulled the ultrasound pictures of her and Derek's little son from the file folder she had them in. She sat there for several moments, letting her eyes scan his heart, foot, brain and face yet again.

Meredith's eyes filled with tears and she put her hand on her stomach and rubbed gently.

"Hey in there," she began and giggled. "So, you're a little boy. Not that that means anything to you but it's nice for Daddy and me to know. I promise that I'll do my best by you. We are lucky that we have your Daddy. I may as well warn you that's he's going to be the natural with you - not me. That's not because I don't love you. I do. I love you so much already, but I have very little experience with children. So, I'll try my best not to screw you up but like I said - it's a good thing we both have Daddy."

Meredith could have sat there talking to her son longer, but she wanted to complete her project before Derek's lecture was done. So, she spread out all the ultrasound pictures and got to work.

Meredith jumped at the sound of her cell phone ringing. She picked it up and answered without looking at the display. "Hello?"

"Hey, where are you?"

She smiled at the sound of Derek's voice. Then, she glanced at her watch and said, "Oh crap. I completely lost track of time. I'm sorry. I'll -"

"Mer, it's okay," Derek interrupted. "Miranda's here and I was just wondering if you're ready to go home. Or did you get pulled into something?"

"I'm in the conference room on the fourth floor. Can you come here?"

"Sure," he answered. "See you in a minute."

"See you," she answered and shut her phone. Then she quickly slid the last few push pins into the cork board while she waited for Derek and Miranda to arrive. When they did, she was nervously chewing her lip.

"Hi," she said to both of them as she grabbed Derek's hand.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked.

"What are you doing?" Miranda asked at the same time. Then she noticed Meredith's project and she gave a little but audible gasp.

"What?" Derek asked as Meredith shook her head frantically at Miranda and put her finger to her lips in a hushing motion.

"I'm leaving now." Miranda said quickly. To Meredith's surprise, the woman who had once been her Resident - but was now her very pregnant friend - hugged her.

"Meredith?"

"Everything is fine Derek," she quickly assured him as she shut the conference room door behind Bailey. "Come here," she said, taking his hand and leading him to sit down where she had been. "I have a surprise for you."

"All right," Derek said hesitantly, a small frown creasing his brows.

Meredith pulled the cork board closer to them and then took Derek's hand in hers. She placed his fingers over the board and said softly, "I want you to be able to see our son's ultrasound pictures."

Very slowly, Derek traced his fingers over the heads of the push pins, feeling the pictures of his son's heart, brain, face, foot, femur and arm. By the time he was done going over them - twice - his hands were shaking. He pulled Meredith down into his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. He couldn't say anything at first. Derek just held her, breathed her in and thanked God for her and their son.

"Thank you," he finally said, his voice hoarse and heavy with emotion. "Meredith, thank you for showing me the first pictures of our son."

"I know it's kind of cheesy," she giggled and was cut off by his lips on hers.

When their kiss broke, Derek emphatically stated, "It's not cheesy. This is loving, and thoughtful and so not cheesy. I love you."

"I love you too, Derek."

"Let's go home."

"Okay," she agreed and got up from his lap. While Meredith was gathering their stuff the conference room door burst open and Lexie came inside.

"What did you do that has Bailey crying?"

Meredith actually blushed while Derek told Lexie and let her look at what Meredith did. Naturally, Lexie got teary-eyed too. "Oh Meredith -"

"No, no," Meredith waved her arms. "This was for Derek. No need for a big scene."

Lexie laughed around her tears and said, "You made Bailey cry. There's no way this isn't getting around, Little Sister."

"Oh crap," Meredith mumbled.

Derek and Lexie laughed and then he said, "I still love it, Mer."

"You better," Meredith replied. "Since I apparently am going to lose my reputation as a hard-ass."

Lexie wisely stayed quiet, but the truth was, Meredith had lost that hard-ass reputation when she'd fallen in love with Derek. And discovered that there was a lot more to life than surgery


	61. Can You Feel Him?

_Chapter 61: Can You Feel Him_

"Derek? Derek?"

"What?" He answered his very excited sounding wife. "What's going on?"

Meredith stood in front of Derek and grabbed his hands to put them on her belly. "Can you feel him?"

They sat there in silence for a few moments. Then, to their mutual delight, Derek felt their son kick. "Oh wow," he whispered reverently. "That's -"

"Amazing,' Meredith grinned. She'd been feeling their son move for a few weeks now. However, whenever she'd tried to get Derek to feel him - the little stinker would stop.

"Are you sure it doesn't hurt?"

"It really doesn't hurt," Meredith assured him again. Derek kept his hands on her belly, hoping to feel their son kick again. Meredith ran her fingers through his hair when he leaned forward and put his head on her tummy. In effect, hugging her and their son.

"What about Brandon?" They'd been trying to name their son and not agreeing on anything.

"Brandon Shepherd?" Derek asked with a grimace in his voice.

"What's wrong with it?" Meredith asked with a long sigh.

"Do you really want our sons initials to be B.S.?"

She giggled, "Well, no. Not now that you put it that way."

"How about Sean?"

"Yuck."

"What?' Derek laughed.

"Sean Shepherd," she shuddered. "I just don't like the way that sounds."

"We have to name him, Mer."

"I know and it's a good thing we still have time to decide on the perfect name for him."

"Yeah," Derek sighed and stood up to wrap his arms around Meredith. "I guess he's done moving for now. I'm glad I finally felt him."

"Me too," she agreed and leaned up to kiss him. When she pulled back, she said, "Since he's sleeping - we can have some adult fun."

Derek laughed and kissed her again. "Mer, he has no idea what's going on when we have sex."

"Still, I know. I feel better thinking he's asleep."

Derek made himself not laugh. He didn't need his wife to suddenly feel like throttling him. He'd much rather take her up on the sex. He leaned down and kissed her thoroughly. She responded in kind and they started making their way toward their bedroom.


	62. Where is He Sleeping

_Chapter 62: Where is He Sleeping_

"Meredith?"

"Where is your baby boy going to sleep?"

Meredith made a slightly dismayed sound but tried to cover it up as Kathleen's raised eyebrow. "In his bassinette on my side of the bed," Meredith answered.

"Which will be perfect for about three or four months." Kathleen smiled as her sister-in-laws scowl deepened. In the next moment, Meredith started crying and Kathleen wrapped her arms around her in a protective hug. "What's wrong?"

Fortunately, Meredith calmed down as quickly as she'd gotten worked up. She got two bottles of water from the kitchen for her and Kathleen. Then she said, "I know the baby needs a nursery."

"But?"

"Everything in this house is set up exactly the way Derek needs it to be. How can I ask him to change that?"

"Ask him?" Kathleen looked slightly irritated.

"Okay," Meredith gave a small laugh, "I don't mean ask - as in permission. It's just that the baby is already going to be a huge adjustment -"

"For both of you," Kathleen interrupted. "Meredith, I adore you. There are not enough words for me to express how grateful I am that Derek found you but where my new nephew is concerned - my brother can lump it."

Meredith started giggling and said, "Derek isn't being a pain about this. I haven't even brought it up."

Kathleen rubber Mer's belly and said, "This little boy needs his own room. Trust me - you're going to want him to have his own room. Even before he's born, you're going to need a place to put all the baby shower gifts."

"Baby shower - "Meredith paled.

"No objections," Kathleen laughed. "You're getting one, period. Your sisters and I have already started planning it. All you have to do is show up and enjoy."

"Okay, thanks."

A few minutes later Derek, Mark and David came into the house. "Hey Mer," he grinned and kissed her after she went and hugged him. "I brought reinforcements."

"Reinforcements?"

"He means free laborers," Mark said.

"You're getting fed," Derek interjected to his smartass best friend.

"For what?" Meredith asked.

"Well," Derek started and kept his arm around her waist, "we need a room for our son."

To Derek's dismay, Meredith burst into tears, while everyone else laughed. "Am I missing something?" Derek asked while hugging Mer tighter.

"We were just talking about the baby needing his own room," Kathleen explained and patted her brother's arm. "Good timing, brain man."

"Did you know about this?" Meredith finally asked Kathleen, after calming down again.

"No, not at all."

"So," Derek asked, "Which room do you want to turn into the nursery? Mark and David will clear it out while we start dinner. We even stopped for paint. I didn't think you'd object to a basic blue and we can add other stuff - fire engines, cars, boats - later. We'll go get that kind of stuff together. And we'll need a crib and a changing table -"

"Oh my God," Mark groaned but had a mile-wide grin on his face.

"Actually," Meredith giggled, "You're right about all that stuff. We'll go register for it because Kathleen, Lexie and Molly are apparently throwing us a baby shower.'

"Cool," Derek grinned, "Free food."

"Free food? Can I come, too?" Mark asked.

"Only if you're willing to play the shower games," Kathleen said seriously.

"Kath, I'm a surgeon. Picking the diaper with the fake poop in it doesn't bother me."

"What if you have to taste unlabeled baby food and try to identify it?"

"Gross," Derek, Mark and David all said in unison - making Meredith and Kathleen laugh heartily.

Derek asked, "Which room, Meredith?"

"Well," Meredith hedged and chewed her bottom lip.

"Is the paint still in the car?" Kathleen asked and motioned with her head for David and Mark to follow her outside. "We'll just go get it."

As soon as Derek heard the garage door shut, he turned to Meredith and said, "That wasn't an obvious retreat. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just -"

"Mer," he said and pulled her back to him for another hug and a quick kiss. "What?"

"I want this to be as easy as possible for you. I mean, I know being new parents will be an adjustment, but I mean in regard to transitioning the house. For you."

Derek rubbed her lower back and continued holding her tight. "Is that why you haven't said anything about the nursery?"

"Yes."

"I thought that was kind of odd," he admitted.

"I've been looking at baby furniture online and lusting after some of it. I can't believe how nice some of the baby stuff it, but yeah," she sighed, enjoying her impromptu back massage. "I just don't want this to be hard on you."

"I love you, Mer."

"I love you, too."

"I will make any necessary adjustments for you and our son. Thank you for thinking of me but please, stop worrying."

"Okay," she giggled, "I want the guest room to be converted to his nursery."

Derek laughed, "I guess you have been planning."

"It makes sense. We never use it and it's right next to our room. I want him close by once he's out of the bassinette."

"Me too," he said and kissed her again. Longer this time, moving his hands to run them through her hair. They were interrupted by a subtle clearing of the throat. "Later," Derek whispered and made her giggle. "All right," he said louder, "The guest room is becoming the nursery."


	63. Can You See Me?

_Chapter 63: Can You See Me?_

Meredith was almost through the second trimester of pregnancy. She and Derek were at home and it was Thursday morning.

"I definitely think we should take the newborn care class," Meredith said. Then she giggled and continued, "At least, I should. You're great with the kids. Me, not so much."

"Meredith -"

"Tiny babies make me a little nervous," Meredith sighed as she rubbed her stomach.

"Meredith," Derek said again, "You're beautiful."

Meredith snapped her head up from the paperwork she was filling out. There was something in Derek's voice that had her heart pounding. "Derek?' She whispered as she moved around the table toward him. "Can you -" Meredith's voice cracked, full of hope.

He pulled her into his lap, wrapping one arm around her back and rubbing their baby with his other hand. "I can see you," he whispered, reverent and choked up. "You're blurry but I can see you, Mer. You're beautiful and your belly - our baby, our son - is amazing!"

Meredith had tears streaming down her cheeks now. She hugged Derek tightly to her and then pulled back to stroke his cheek with her hand. She looked at his eyes, noting that they were slightly more clear than usual. "Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Do you have a headache?"

Derek chuckled and brought her lips to his for a kiss. He was able to see her the tiniest bit better, up close like this. He kept his eyes open, unwilling to miss a moment of looking at her. When they pulled apart for air, he answered her questions, "My head hurts like hell but I've never been better."

"Okay." Meredith said, wiping at her tears, "We have to get you checked out, find out what's going on."

She started to get up and he held her tighter, keeping her on his lap. Derek kissed her again before replying, "We will Mer, but not yet. Right now, I just want to look at you." He pushed her shirt up to lean down and place little kisses all over her tummy.

"Derek," she said, running her fingers through the back of his hair.

He looked back up and into her eyes, "The tests can wait, Mer. For a little while. Just in case."

She nodded her head in agreement. The tests could wait. They deserved this time together. She knew he meant, just in case this is a cruel, medical fluke. She refused to believe it was, though. Meredith chose to believe this was a beautiful miracle.

* * *

"Derek -"

"It's a really good blue," he said, standing close to the nursery wall to see the color.

"Yes, it is," she agreed. Meredith was thrilled that Derek could see - even if it was limited. She was also very worried as he kept wincing in pain. It had been two hours since he'd said she was beautiful. And it seemed that his pain was getting worse. "Derek -"

"Your hair has streaks of gold in it."

"Yes," she smiled at his observation and the familiar feel of his fingers running through her hair. Then he winced again and actually groaned, bracing his hand on the wall. "That's it," Meredith said sternly. "We're going to the hospital. Now."

"Okay," Derek whispered, almost sounding defeated, still leaning on the wall.

"Can you make it to the car?"

"Yes," he answered, holding her more tightly to him. Then he looked into her eyes again and said, "The color is really unique. Kind of a mix of green, gray and blue."

"Derek please," Meredith whispered again as tears filled her eyes. She was so thankful for this gift of his sight. At the same time, she felt it was imperative to get him to the hospital and have him checked out.

"I'm scared," he admitted, placing his forehead against hers.

Me too, she thought but refused to say it out loud. He needed her to be strong. If he had his sight without the pain - she wouldn't be so worried.

"Is the pain the same or worse?"

"Worse. We should go now."

* * *

Meredith had called ahead to the hospital to let Chief Webber know what was going on and that she was bringing Derek in for a CT Scan. The Chief and Dr. Livingston - the Head of neurology and Meredith's boss - were ready and waiting when they arrived. The Chief had also paged Lexie and Cristina to take care of Meredith.

"I don't need baby sitters," Meredith snapped as she watched her husband being taken away from her. It gave her a very ominous feeling.

"Yes," Cristina said and grabbed Meredith by the arm, "Actually you do."

"I -"

"Need a stress test for the baby," Lexie interrupted her sister.

Meredith sighed and watched as they rolled Derek out of her sight. "Fine," she agreed, "but then I'm going to be with Derek."

"No, you aren't," Cristina said as she and Lexie took Mer to an exam room. "Right now, you're family, not a Doctor. You know you're in no condition to be helpful. Concentrate on staying calm and keeping your son safe."

Meredith took several deep breaths and tried to have positive thoughts. "I didn't tell him I love him."

"What?" Lexie asked with a quick glance at Cristina.

"Before they took him away from me," Meredith said. "I didn't get to tell him I love him."

"He knows," Cristina said, gripping her friends hand in a rare moment of pure emotion and compassion. "Derek's going to be fine. The two of you can go back to being lovey and disgusting and goo-goo gaa-ing over that kid in your stomach."

"Goo-goo gaa-ing?" Meredith asked with a small giggle.

"Whatever," Cristina shrugged but was glad to notice that Meredith did appear slightly calmer.

Meredith was telling herself that Cristina was right. Everything was going to be just fine. And the suspicion that was saying otherwise was just her fear.

* * *

Meredith leaned over the hospital bed and kissed Derek on the mouth. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mer. I love our son, too. I know I was a pain in the ass about kids at first, but I really do love him."

"I know," she answered calmly. She took his hand in hers and said, "You're going to be fine, Derek."

"I have an aneurysm above my optical nerve."

"I know - Webber told me." She couldn't believe they were having this conversation as if they were picking out something for the nursery. It was surreal and it was awful. She really just wanted to wake up now.

"You're going to be fine."

"Let's name our son."

"We've been trying to name him," she said with a nervous laugh and tears filling her eyes. She really didn't like the tone of Derek's voice.

"Don't cry, Mer."

"You can still see me," she said around an indeed watery smile.

"Yes," he said and squeezed her hand. "A little more clearly, in fact."

"That's great," she said as an intern came in and started prepping Derek for surgery. "So," she said, resisting the urge to climb in the bed with him. "I thought you liked 'Christopher' after your dad."

"I do," Derek said 'but Christopher Shepherd seems like a lot to saddle a little boy with. He's going to want to be outside playing baseball and fishing - not writing a name like that too often."

Meredith laughed; she was amazed that she could. "Okay but I like Christopher as a middle name."

"Me too," Derek agreed. "Do you always chew your lip when you're concentrating?"

"Not always, but often."

"Come here," he said and tugged her down for another kiss. They both kept their eyes open during the long and soft kiss. They didn't stop until the intern cleared his throat. They pulled apart with a small chuckle and just held hands, quietly looking at one another until the intern left the room. Then they laughed out loud for a good bit of time.

"Short names, five letters or less," Derek said.

"Okay," Meredith said and thought for a moment. "Scott?"

"No. Max?"

"Yuck. Umm," she chewed her lip and Derek laughed. "David?"

Derek thought about it and said, "No. it's not bad but, I don't know. No. What about Mark?"

Meredith laughed and said, "God, could you imagine the size of Mark's ego?"

"Oh," Derek chuckled, "Yeah, bad idea."

"What about Derek?" Meredith suggested.

"No," he said softly. "I want our son to be his own person. Promise you won't name him after me, Mer."

"Okay, that's it!" Meredith yelled and stood up angrily. "Stop speaking as if you're going to die!"

"I might."

"No!" Meredith yelled again and then winced and grabbed her stomach.

"Meredith?" Derek asked in concern.

She grabbed Derek's hand and put it on her belly. "He's kicking the crap out of me because he doesn't like this death attitude either," she cried.

Derek saw his wife crying and felt his son kicking mightily. His own eyes filled with tears and he whispered hoarsely, "I'm going to be fine."

"Yes," Meredith agreed. "Promise."

"I promise," Derek complied. "What about Ian?"

"Hey," Meredith and Derek said in delighted unison. "I think he likes Ian," Meredith said.

"Do you?" Derek asked her.

"Ian Christopher," Meredith said. "Ian Christopher Shepherd. Ian Shepherd," she grinned as the baby kicked again. "I like it."

"Me too," Derek grinned back at her. "That's what we'll name him."

"Yes," she whispered, "that's his name."

They were standing that way when Webber came in and said it was time to take Derek to surgery. Then he stepped back out - giving them another moment of privacy. They kissed one another again. Derek sat up in the bed to kiss Mer's stomach and said, "I love you, Ian." Then he looked up and into Meredith's eyes, "I love you, Meredith."

"I love you too, Derek. We love you," she said, rubbing her stomach. She really didn't want to let Derek go but knew she had to. He needed this surgery. He would be all right. The intern came and wheeled Derek away. Meredith held it together. She had to and she believed Derek was going to be all right. "Hey Ian," she whispered, rubbing her belly again. "Your Daddy is going to be just fine. And your name is going to be a secret between the three of us for a while. Daddy and I will tell people together once you're born. Possibly at the baby shower but we'll do it together."


	64. Surgery for Derek

_Chapter 64: Surgery for Derek_

A very pregnant Miranda Bailey walked up to the nurses station and dropped a patient's chart onto the counter with a tired sigh.

Lexie was sitting behind the counter charting.

"What did you do to get stuck with charting duty?" Bailey asked with a small smirk.

"Nothing," Lexie answered and seemed a little distracted.

"Yeah right," Bailey replied, clearly not believing her.

"It's true, Dr. Bailey," Lexie insisted. "I volunteered to sit here and chart."

"Why?" Bailey asked, looking at Lexie as if she'd grown a second head.

"So, I can keep an eye on my sister at the same time."

Bailey's frown deepened. Her very pregnant, hormonal body was not in any mood for riddles. She snapped, "Speak the English language Grey!"

"Sorry," Lexie mumbled and looked over Bailey's shoulder and nodded before answering. "Meredith is in the waiting room out there. She's refusing to let Mark, Cristina or I sit with her. She's freaked out - I know she is - but she's acting cool as a cucumber. Kathleen is coming -"

"Wait!" Bailey said and held up a hand for silence. Lexie immediately complied and Bailey continued, "Meredith is in the waiting room. Kathleen is on the way? Are you trying to tell me Derek Shepherd is in surgery?"

"Yes." Lexie said, just barely above a whisper. Her eyes filled with tears, but she managed to keep them from falling as she continued speaking. "Apparently Derek regained minimal vision earlier today. There was a lot of pain attached and Meredith insisted on bringing him in for scans. He has an aneurysm above his optical nerve and is in surgery right now."

"Who's performing the surgery?" Bailey asked the question, even though she was fairly certain of the answer.

"The Chief and Dr. Livingston."

"If anyone needs me," Bailey began, handing Lexie the chart she'd walked up with, "I'll be in the waiting room with Meredith."

"She doesn't want any company," Lexie said.

Bailey glared at Lexie and said, "I'd like to see her try to turn me away! Just because the rest of you spineless weaklings can't deal with her. Please, she's a tiny little pregnant woman. She needs a friend right now. Regardless of what she says to the contrary."

Lexie waited until Bailey was walking away from her to grin. She didn't think Bailey would like her to point out that she was also a tiny, pregnant woman. Lexie was just glad Meredith wouldn't be sitting out there alone anymore.

* * *

Bailey sat down next to Meredith and gave another tired sigh. "It feels darned good to be off my feet."

Meredith turned to look at her mentor and friend. She opened her mouth, but Bailey spoke first. "I know you aren't going to tell me some gibberish about needing to be alone. Besides the fact that I just told you how good it feels to be off my swollen, tired feet - I'm worried, too."

Meredith gave a very tiny smile and an audible sigh of her own. Then she whispered, "Thank you for coming out here to sit with me. I kept insisting I was fine but really -"

"You're scared," Bailey supplied for her.

"Yes."

Bailey just nodded her head. Nothing she said would help and she knew that. Also, as much as she truly did believe everything was going to be all right - the surgeon in her couldn't make that promise. So, they sat silently together, waiting to hear the outcome of Derek's surgery. A short time later Kathleen arrived and sat down on Meredith's other side. She didn't say anything, either. She simply took Meredith's hand in her own and held on tight.

* * *

"Nice work, Dr. Livingston."

"Thank you, Chief," The older, head of Neurosurgery replied with a sigh of relief. He was glad this was over. He hated having someone he knew and respected on his table.

"Close him up and let's tell his wife everything's fine," Webber said.

"Everything isn't fine," the Resident who was assisting announced. "His blood pressure is dropping rapidly."

"What? Why?" The Chief asked as he and Livingston noticed the drop in BP and took in the other beeping monitors.

"I don't know," Livingston answered as he carefully looked around the area of the stitched aneurysm to make certain there wasn't a nick or any other problem. "I don't see anything, Sir."

The Resident announced the still dropping blood pressure. Livingston and Webber went into full force trying to figure out what was going wrong.

* * *

Meredith clutched her baby and whispered, "Something's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong," said Bailey.

"It's taking too long."

"That doesn't mean something is wrong," soothed Kathleen. Her heartbeat was pounding in fear, but she kept her voice level. Meredith and Derek had shown their connection to one another too many times for her to think Meredith was really wrong. "Would you feel better if someone checked on him?"

"Yes."

Bailey and Kathleen exchanged a quick glance and then Bailey walked over to Lexie at the nurses station. "Grey?"

"Yes, Dr. Bailey?"

"Go check on Derek's surgery and come give us a report."

"All right," Lexie answered and went to immediately do just that. She walked into the scrub room and immediately knew that something was wrong by the harried activity in the O.R. "Oh God," she whispered and quickly put on the mask and other protective garb to go in the O.R. As she walked in, she saw the Chief hang his head in defeat and sadly say, "Call the time of death, Doctor."

"No!" Lexie shouted and startled the hell out of everyone in there! "No," she shouted again. "Do not give up on Derek! He doesn't want to leave my sister and their child behind!"


	65. Does Derek Make It?

_Chapter 65: Does Derek Make It?_

"_Call the time of death, Doctor."_

_"__No!" Lexie shouted and startled the hell out of everyone in there! "No," she shouted again. "Do not give up on Derek! He doesn't want to leave my sister and their child behind!"_

"Dr. Grey." the Chief began, sounding as if he'd just aged twenty years.

"Don't give up!" Lexie shouted again as tears streamed down her face, making a puddle under her mask. She ran to stand beside the operating table. "Please, tell me what I can do to help? Derek? You can't leave Meredith!"

"Try again…" Webber said resolutely.

"Chief -" Dr. Livingston began -

"TRY AGAIN!"

Everyone in the O.R. went back into a flurry of motion. All extremely grateful as no one wanted to give up in the first place.

* * *

"It's taking too long."

"Meredith," Kathleen said softly, "You have to stay calm."

"I can't." Meredith replied and got up to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Bailey asked, following her surprisingly quickly, considering her advanced pregnancy.

"I need to know what's going on now," Meredith answered. She was breathing just a little too fast and that concerned Bailey.

"Meredith," she said, taking her by the arm. She held tight when Mer tried to shake her free. "You need to come and let me check on you and the baby."

"Nothing's wrong with the baby," Meredith said loudly and drew some curious glances.

Bailey looked over at Kathleen and motioned for her to join them at the nurses station. Bailey continued calmly, "You're right, nothing's wrong with the baby but you are starting to freak out. While that's understandable, you need to calm down before something does happen to your baby. How do you think Derek's going to feel when he comes to and you and the baby are admitted because of a damn panic attack?"

"Okay." Meredith replied, her breath still hitching shallowly.

"Come with me and lie down for a few minutes. Maybe have a little oxygen..." Bailey said and led Mer and Kathleen to an empty exam room. She glanced down the hall toward the O.R.'s and wondered why the hell intern Grey was taking so long.

* * *

Derek opened his eyes and looked around. He could see perfectly but all he saw was white. He wondered what was going on as he sat up and swung his legs off the gurney.

"_Hi," a familiar voice from the past said. _

_Derek swung around with a shocked expression on his face. "Dad?" He asked, his voice a barely audible whisper as his father did indeed materialize before him._

_"__Hi Son."_

_"__No," Derek said, shaking his head vehemently. "No! I do not want to see you! Not yet! Not yet! I'm having a son of my own!"_

_"__I know," Mr. Shepherd answered with an easy smile. "Ian Christopher. Thank you for making his middle name mine. I'm honored."_

_"__You're welcome," Derek answered hoarsely. Then he continued, "As much as I miss you Dad - I really don't want to be here with you yet."_

_"__You're sure?"_

_"__Absolutely! I want to be around for my son. And Meredith - we've barely begun. I love her so much. Please Dad - if you have any control of this -"_

_Mr. Shepherd smiled again. Then he said, "I love you, Son."_

_"__I love you too, Dad."_

_"__Hug Meredith and Ian for me. And your little girls when they comes along in a couple of years."_

_"__Our little girls?" Derek asked, his voice constricting again with emotion._

_"__Sure." said Mr. Shepherd. "They will be identical; the only way that you will be able to tell them apart will be because one will have a heart shaped birthmark on their stomach. Also, one of the twins middle names will be Ellis after Meredith's Mom. See you in a few decades, Son. Enjoy your life."_

_"__I will," Derek said. "I do enjoy my life and I always will."_

* * *

The beeping monitors in the O.R. changed and everyone exhaled loudly as they realized Derek was all right.

"He's back," the Resident assistant said and started rattling off blood pressure and other vitals.

"Can I tell Meredith he's all right?" Lexie asked tremulously.

"Yes," Dr. Livingston answered after a few moments.

"What the hell happened?" asked the Chief.

"I have no idea." replied Livingston, "Short of a miracle."

"Yeah? Well, thank God for that!"

"Indeed," sighed Livingston as he began to close Derek's head.


	66. Aftermath of the Surgery

_Chapter 66: Aftermath of the Surgery_

"Has he woken up yet?" Bailey asked as she walked up to the nurses station outside of Derek's room.

"No," answered Cristina with a huff as she shut the medical journal she'd been studying for an upcoming surgery. "It's been ten hours since he came out of surgery and Meredith hasn't left him for more than a trip to the bathroom."

"Ten hours is a bit long but nothing to worry about yet. Especially considering the complications that occurred during the surgery."

"Yeah, Grey - Lexie," Cristina clarified, "Told me they were calling time-of-death when she walked into the O.R. She said she flipped out and started yelling at the Chief and Lexington to keep trying with Derek. Lexie's worried about being written up for insubordinate behavior."

Bailey sighed and rubbed her tired eyes. Then she said to Cristina, "I shouldn't have sent her in that operating room. She's family and had no business in there. Tell her not to worry about any negative repercussions. I'm certain the Chief will take the bigger picture into consideration."

"Dr. Bailey?"

"Yes, Yang?" Bailey turned back to her after starting to walk away.

"I'm glad you sent Lexie in to check on Derek's surgery. I'm not positive anyone not close to Derek and Meredith would have pushed the Chief and Livingston to continue."

Bailey just stared at Cristina for several silent moments. Then, with a slight crack in her voice, she said. "Good point, Yang. Thank you."

Cristina smiled as Bailey walked away. Then she glanced toward Derek's room again and her smile faded. Cristina thought that he'd better wake his ass up soon. If he didn't, she was going to hurt him just for putting her friend through so much hell.

* * *

Meredith looked up as she heard footsteps entering Derek's room. She tried to smile at Cristina but found that she just couldn't. "Hi," she whispered hoarsely instead.

"Hi," Cristina answered and set a bottle of water, a turkey and cheese sandwich and an apple on the little side table near Meredith.

Meredith glanced at the food and water then back to Cristina. "Thanks," she said, "I'm just not hungry."

Cristina pulled a chair up next to Meredith's. Then, very calmly, she said, "You put some of the crappy cafeteria food into your mouth and feed that kid you're growing. If you don't, I'll strap your skinny ass to a bed and hook you up to an I.V."

Meredith just stared at Cristina and blinked. Then she started giggling and after a few moments the giggles became slightly hysterical sounding.

"Don't," Cristina whispered.

"Don't what?" Meredith asked as her hysterical laughing turned to heart wrenching sobs.

"Don't cry, please," Cristina said even though it was much too late for her plea.

Meredith got up and walked into the hallway. When Derek woke up - she didn't want to be in the middle of losing control. Cristina followed her and grabbed her hand in a show of support but didn't say anything. After a short while Meredith pulled herself together and whispered, "Derek died today."

"He's still here Mer," Cristina said, squeezing her friend's hand.

"Cristina, my sister said they were calling his time of death when she walked into the O.R. My husband," she rubbed her belly with her free hand, "my son's father died today. The reality is - I'll lose Derek someday and that scares me shitless."

"The reality is," Cristina stated emphatically, "that by some kind of miracle your husband," she reached out and - surprisingly - rubbed Mer's belly, "and this little guy's Daddy lived today."

"Cristina -"

"He will die someday," Cristina continued, ignoring Meredith's interruption. "You two are so disgusting about one another that you'll probably die together at 110 years old - wrapped in each other's arms. So, don't dwell on what almost happened today and be thankful that you get tomorrow."

"You're going to make me cry again," Meredith whispered.

"Don't you dare," Cristina snapped and made Meredith giggle.

"I need to eat the food you brought and check on Derek."

"You do that," Cristina nodded and let go of Meredith's hand. "I have surgery, but I'll be back when I'm done."

"Thank you, Cristina."

"Yeah, whatever," Cristina said as she walked away. The truth was - even though she was hardcore - she was extremely thankful that Meredith and Derek were her friends. She would've been crushed to see anything hurt their growing family. She'd be damned if she'd admit it out loud, but she hoped to find a love like Meredith and Derek's someday.

* * *

Derek's head felt heavy and he wanted to wake up, but it seemed like a lot of work to do so at the moment. Maybe he'd just sleep for a while longer, he decided but then he heard her voice whisper 'Hi.' Meredith! He thought about smiling and saying something to her but that seemed difficult, too. Then he heard another voice - Cristina's. Wait, why was Cristina at their house? Derek heard them disagreeing about eating and Cristina asking Meredith not to cry.

Don't cry? He wondered why Cristina would be saying that to Meredith and then he remembered his surgery. And his Dad. Oh crap, he'd died today and now he was having a hard time waking up. Mer, he tried to call out but there was no answer. I'm okay, he wanted to shout, frustrated beyond belief that he wasn't coming out of this. What the hell was going on? Where had Meredith and Cristina gone? He didn't hear them anymore. He knew they weren't there. He felt himself falling back into the deep slumber! NO! He shouted in his own head. He didn't want to sleep anymore. He wanted to see Meredith and kiss her and rub her tummy and talk to Ian. Instead, he was going under again, damn it.

* * *

"Hey," Derek heard Meredith whisper. He felt her softly kiss his lips and then stroke his cheek. "Derek, can you wake up now? Please. Even if it's just for a few minutes so I'll know you're all right?"

He felt her lace her fingers with his and then heard her sigh softly. He tried to say something but couldn't because his throat was really dry. He swallowed and then slowly opened his eyes. Derek's heart rate accelerated happily because he was awake, Meredith was there, and he could still see her.

Meredith's head whipped up to the bleeping machines that indicated Derek's change in heart rate. Then she quickly looked at him as he squeezed her fingers with his. "Hi," she said, her own heart going into relieved overdrive.

"Hi Mer," he whispered hoarsely. It was, without a doubt, the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard in her life. He swallowed again and Meredith asked him if he was thirsty. He nodded his head yes and then drank carefully of the water she brought to his lips. Then he swallowed again and said softly, "I can still see you."

"You can?" She asked him as her eyes filled with tears. Derek was awake. He was all right; he was talking to her. If all of that wasn't wonderful enough - he could still see.

"I can," he answered and gave a small grin.

"Let me check you out," Meredith said and started to move away from him for a moment to get what she needed.

"No," Derek said and grabbed her hand again. "Let someone else give me a checkup. You just stay where I can see you."

Meredith laughed and swiped at the tears on her cheeks. "Okay," she agrees and thread her fingers with his again as she sat back in the chair beside his bed. "Will you just tell me a couple of things real fast, though?"

"Always a Doctor," Derek teased.

"True," she nodded, "but more importantly, always your wife."

"True," he echoed, his heart swelling with all of the love he felt for her. "Okay, what do you want to know?"

"Are you feeling any pain?"

"No," he answered.

"Good," Meredith said. "Of course, you are on pain medication, but I want to be sure. How well can you see?"

"Slightly better than before I went into surgery. I'm glad it's so dim in here. I'm not quite ready to find out how my eyes react to the light."

"You're going to find out soon when Webber or Livingston come in to check on you. Is there any remaining blurriness?"

"Yes," Derek answered. "We're going to have twin daughters."

Meredith had been about to ask Derek another question, but his statement so alarmed her that she forgot what she was going to say. Instead, she carefully stated, "No Derek, we're having a son. We named him before you went into surgery. Do you remember that?"

"Oh Mer," he said and tugged her hand until she was leaning close enough for him to kiss her. "I'm sorry I scared you. My brain is functioning fine - I promise. We are having a son this time and we're naming him Ian Christopher."

Meredith released the breath she hadn't been aware of holding and said, "That's right - Ian, our son. Okay, so why the daughters comment?"

Derek went on to tell Meredith about seeing his Dad. About how he'd yelled that he didn't want to leave Meredith and Ian and how his Dad had asked if he was sure. He told her about his Dad telling him they'd have two little girls in a couple of years. "The girls will be identical. One of their middle names will be Ellis after –."

"My Mom," Meredith whispered, clutching Derek's hand tightly with both of hers. "Oh my God," she said and started crying again. "Damn it," she muttered, "I'm tired of crying."

Derek gave a very small chuckle and pulled her to him again - holding her as best as he could from the hospital bed. A few moments later his sister came in and he said, "Hi Kathleen."

"Derek," she said and grinned. Then, "Can you see?"

"Yeah," he replied, still grinning at his sister. Kathleen immediately joined Meredith and cried. "Okay," Derek sighed. "It's definitely time for my checkup. Kath, maybe you could bring David in with you. Or Mark. Just someone with testosterone to help balance out all this crying," he teased.

"Hey," Meredith said around her tears and poked him in the side.

"Jackass," Kathleen mumbled happily as she left the room to go to the nurse's station.

Meredith took a deep breath to calm herself and said, "I love you, Derek."

"I love you too, Meredith."

"Don't ever scare me like this again."

"I won't - I promise," he said and then kissed her. A few moments later Chief Webber came in to check Derek out. He was doing fine and recovering nicely. Mark came in to visit for a few minutes. Derek started showing signs of fatigue and Meredith said everyone had to leave.

"Including you?" Mark asked and Meredith just glared at him.

"Meredith," Derek said, "go home and get some rest. I'm fine now. I'm just going to be sleeping. Plenty of people will be here to monitor me."

She put her hand on her hip and asked sweetly, "Would you leave me to go home?"

"Not the same thing," Derek grumbled.

"It's exactly the same thing. I'm staying, deal with it." Of course, Meredith got her way. Truth be told, Derek didn't really want to be away from her. He felt himself going back to sleep but was quite happy to know that Meredith would be there when he awoke again.


	67. Being Discharged

_Chapter 67: Being Discharged_

When Meredith was allowed to take Derek home a few days later - he could still see. His vision wasn't perfectly clear - and it might never be - but at least he had partial sight. He wasn't living in complete darkness anymore. The closer he was to someone or something the better he could see the person or object. "I wonder if glasses would help."

"I don't know," Meredith said with a smile. She was still on cloud nine over the fact that he was all right. She was so grateful that he was alive. "We can schedule an eye exam and find out."

Derek grinned at her. He couldn't stop looking at her and touching her. Fortunately, she didn't mind. In a way it was as if they were starting new again. "I guess we can try an eye exam," he sighed.

"You don't want to? You just said -"

"Eventually, but not yet. I've had enough of being poked and prodded by Doctors for a while," he grinned and pulled her into his arms for a kiss.

"What about me?" Meredith asked when the kiss ended. She looked at him and smiled innocently, "I'm a Doctor. Do you want me to leave you alone, too?"

"Oh no, Dr. Shepherd," he chuckled and started kissing her neck. He gently bit her earlobe and whispered, "I definitely want a thorough examination from you."

Meredith giggled and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as they deepened their kiss. She had to adjust and accommodate for her growing belly but didn't mind a bit. Derek slipped his hands under her shirt to rub her back and had her groaning in appreciation. He pulled his lips from her and watched her facial expressions while he continued to rub. His mood shifted from sexual to wonderment as he watched her enjoyment.

She opened her eyes to see his intent gaze and smiled up at him. "Thank you for the back rub," she said, "it feels so good."

He frowned a little and asked, "Is your back hurting?"

"Yes, but less now that you're doing that."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Uhh," she sighed in pleasure as he applied more pressure to her lumbar. "I've been worried about you, watching your recovery closely and working, that's why."

"What?" Derek asked, "Your back has been hurting for days?"

She laughed and kissed his mouth again, "It's just a part of this stage of pregnancy, Derek. Don't worry, it's just mild aching and most of the time I can ignore it."

He grunted his reply and made her giggle again. She could protest and say it was nothing all she wanted but he'd be making certain she got daily back rubs for the duration of her pregnancy. And beyond if she still needed or wanted them.

The door to the room opened and Mark strolled inside. "Hello lovebirds," he said with his trademark smirk.

"Hi," Derek and Meredith said in unison.

"I'm here to spring you," he said to Derek, waving the discharge papers in the air.

"Good," Derek nodded.

"How's your vision?" Mark asked.

"Still here," Derek grinned. "I've already had a checkup in order to get out of here. So, don't even think flashing lights at me or anything else."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Mark chuckled. "I'll leave that up to your wife."

"Let's go," Meredith said.

"There's a wheel chair for the patient in the hallway," Mark stated.

"No way," Derek argued. "I don't need to be wheeled out of here. I'm not an invalid."

Mark glanced at Meredith and said, "You owe me five bucks."

"Fine," Meredith sighed and reached in her purse for her wallet.

"What? You two had a bet as to whether or not I'd protest the wheel chair?"

"Of course," Mark chuckled. "Your wife is a cheap skate. A five-dollar bet," he said and shook his head in mock disgust at Derek. "Can you believe that?"

Derek just shook his head and chuckled. "You thought I'd be agreeable, Mer?"

"Yes," she said as she handed mark a five. "I guess I should've known better. Doctors really are the worst patients. Now, can you please get in the wheel chair so we can go home?"

"Fine," he sighed and stepped out of the room. He was so very grateful to be going home with his beautiful wife that he wasn't going to make another protest.


	68. Going On A Trip

_Chapter 68: Going On A Trip_

Meredith, I'm fine." Derek said in a voice very close to a whine.

"Then why are you so grouchy?"

"Oh well, I don't know," he said sarcastically. "Let me think about this for a minute. Maybe I'm grouchy because you're saying no sex until I'm completely healed. Even though I feel great. Or maybe it's because Livingston had to shave my head. Jerk. Why couldn't he just shave the part he needed to cut and not my entire damn head? Then there's the possibility that I'm being pissy because my vision is at the same place it was two days ago when we came home. No, no. I know what my problem is: All of the above."

Meredith had calmly listened to her husband's tirade. He sat on the couch and she sat next to him. Then, taking his hand in hers, she turned to him and moved so she was right in his face. She wanted him to see her as clearly as possible. "You're alive and our son is strong and growing exactly as he should be at the beginning of the third trimester. Granted, the bald look isn't really good for you but it's just hair, Derek. It'll grow back. And have I mentioned today how much I love you?"

Derek just looked at her for a few moments. Then he heaved a sigh and pulled her into his arms for a very tight hug. "I love you, too. Sorry I was being an ass."

"You're forgiven," she giggled and kissed him softly on the lips before pulling back again. "And just so you know - the no sex thing is killing me, too. It's just for a few more days, though. Until Livingston gives you the all clear. Just think of this celibate period as practice for when we have Ian."

"What do you mean?" Derek asked sharply, frowning again.

"Derek," Meredith giggled. "Don't you remember anything about your OB/GYN rotation?"

"Apparently not enough," he grumbled. "I'm not going to like this, am I?"

"Well, no. We can't have sex for six weeks after the baby is born."

Derek put his head on Meredith's forehead and groaned. "That does sound vaguely familiar," he replied. "Come on," he said, standing up and pulling her to her feet with him.

"Where are we going?"

"Outside. I refuse to be grouchy and whiny. Let's go for a walk and just look at things."

"Okay," she said, smiling even as her eyes filled with tears.

"Mer?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you travel during your third trimester?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"Well," Derek said and laced his fingers with hers as they stepped outside onto their land. "You're done with your Fellowship in two weeks. Then we have three weeks off -"

"Maui," she giggled, remembering their plan to go back for their first wedding anniversary.

"Yeah, Maui." he answered with a grin. "Do you want to go? I mean, if you can? If the Doctor will clear the travel."

"Of course, I want to go," Meredith answered happily and snuggled into his side as they walked. "I'll call and find out if I can in the morning."

Meredith and Derek walked for a while. Enjoying the early June evening, one another's company. Derek marveled at every little thing he could see. And Meredith thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it.

* * *

Derek feels his hand going numb as his tiny but very strong wife grips it tightly. He chuckles and leans over to kiss her on the cheek, hoping to erase the worried strain from her features. "It's all right," he whispers in her ear.

"I'll be okay," she answers with a nod. "As soon as the plane levels out."

"I hope that's soon," he teases her, "before I permanently lose the feeling in my fingers."

"Oh, sorry," she says and lets go of his hand.

Derek takes her hand back in his and laces their fingers together. She immediately grips him tightly again and he grins. "I'm glad we're able to take this trip to Maui." he states, hoping to distract Mer from her fear of the plane taking off.

She turns to look at him and smiles. "Me too," she replies. "Especially considering how busy, home bound and sleep deprived we're going to be in a couple of months."

Derek places his free hand on Meredith's tummy and asks, "Do you really think he'll change things that much?"

"Yes," she answers resolutely, "but I'm okay with it."

"Me too," Derek grins. "I'm excited for his arrival. Not that I want him to be born early but I'm really looking forward to seeing him."

"I know," Meredith giggles. "I want to count his fingers and toes and stare at his face. I want to cradle him and feed him and oh," she sighed as she started to cry.

"Hey Mer," Derek said softly and pulled her close to him. "It's okay," he said as he rubbed her back. "I feel all that stuff, too."

"I just love him so much already," Meredith sighed when her tears had stopped. "Is that crazy?"

"No. I love him, too."

Meredith grinned and was about to say something to Derek when the flight attendant approached. "Are you all right, Mrs. Shepherd? I noticed you were upset. Can I get you anything?"

"Oh," Meredith said, blushing a little. "I was just having a weepy pregnant moment."

"I had those," the flight attendant grinned, "with both of my pregnancies. Would you both like a bottle of cold water or fresh fruit?"

"Yes please," Derek answered, and Meredith nodded. Then he said, "you know we're missing a couple of the Lamaze classes while we're on vacation."

Meredith snorted and Derek asked, "What? You were so excited about taking the classes."

"Well, now I don't like them," she said.

"You don't?"

"No, I don't. I especially disliked that business about you tapping on me to distract me from the pain during a contraction. Who the hell thought of that technique? If you started tapping on me like that now, I'd be seriously annoyed. I can't imagine being in labor, in pain and suddenly liking that. And the breathing techniques - hello. Are they trying to make pregnant women hyperventilate?"

Derek laughed and started doing the hee hee hee hee breathing in her face. "Ouch," he said as Meredith reached over and pinched him. "Yeah," she said, "let's see you breathe through that, Derek."

He tried and then finally shook her hand off. "That actually really does hurt, Mer."

"Yeah, and I imagine contractions are going to hurt a lot worse. Hee hee hee hee my ass."

Derek started laughing and then leaned over to kiss her again. He pulled back and said, "You are so completely adorable when you have a little tirade."

Meredith glared at him and he chuckled before kissing her again. "I love you, Mer."

"I love you too, Derek," she answered as the flight attendant brought their fruit and water. They had their little snack and then Meredith reclined her seat to take a nap. She reached over and rubbed the spot where she'd pinched Derek. "Sorry," she mumbled.

He placed his hand over hers and said, "It's all right, I'm tough."

She giggled and then closed her eyes and fell asleep for a while. Derek put on his iPod and listened to a book on CD he'd downloaded. Even though he was able to see now - it still wasn't well enough to read comfortably. He still loved his books so he continued listening to them.


	69. Returning to Maui (Part 1)

_Chapter 69: Returning to Maui (Part 1)_

"I can't believe you got us the same room," Meredith sighed as she and Derek stepped onto the lanai.

"Really - this surprises you?"

"Yes," she answered as she went into his outstretched arms. "You amaze and surprise me on a regular basis. How did you manage to pull this off?"

"I just asked," he replied with a chuckle. "It's only ours for two nights, though. Then we have to move because someone else had this room reserved."

"Oh," Meredith pouted for a moment. Then she shrugged and smiled. Turning to look out at the beach and the ocean she asked, "What can you see?"

"Everything that's amazing and breath taking," he answered while looking at her and rubbing her tummy."

"Not me," she giggled, placing her hand on top of his. "The beach, the ocean, the scenery and people and all of this."

"I guess I won't argue with a seriously pregnant woman," Derek chuckled and turned to look out at the horizon. He was quiet for a while as he looked around, taking everything in and savoring the delight of being able to see this in any fashion.

"Derek?"

"As crazy as this may sound - my first thought was that I'm glad I'm wearing my sunglasses. It's bright, really bright. I don't know if it's so noticeable to me because the light is new again, or -" he trailed off.

"It's not crazy," Meredith whispered, a little choked up. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "It is bright here. Not just because the sun is actually out instead of hidden behind a cloud cover. The sun is at a different angle here and it's definitely, noticeably brighter. It might be a good idea to be certain you always have your sunglasses here."

"Yeah," he agreed. "I can also see the contrast between the colors of the sand and the ocean. It's pretty amazing."

"It's beautiful.

"It is," he nodded. "I can't make out the details of anything. I can only make out the general colors and notice the contrast, but that's okay. Being able to see any of this is -" he trailed off again, shrugging his shoulders.

"A gift," Meredith said softly because that's exactly how she felt for and about Derek.

"Yes," he replied, turning his attention back to her and smiling. "Definitely a gift."

"Not -" she began and was cut off by him kissing her. They shared a long and relaxed kiss. Both enjoying the fact that they didn't have to be anywhere or do anything unless they wanted to.

Once the kiss ended, Derek said, "Yes you, Meredith. You and Ian are the most amazing gifts I've ever received. You give my life a sharpness, a clarity, a meaning that it never had before. Even before I lost my sight. You and our baby mean everything to me. Now and always."

"Okay," Meredith giggled in spite of the tears in her eyes. "Making the hormonal chick cry again." Then she reached up and stroked his cheek with her hand and said softly, "You and Ian mean everything to me, too. Now and always."

* * *

"I feel like a beached whale."

Derek chuckled and then felt like an ass when she started crying. "Meredith," he said and moved to pull her into his arms. "Mer, don't cry. I'm sorry for laughing. You don't look like a beached whale. You look beautiful." He kissed her cheeks and wiped her tears as she continued crying.

A few minutes later she was done crying. She was still pouting a little bit, though. "I'm sorry," she said. "Why don't you go down to the beach without me."

"Why would I go without you?"

"It's our vacation and I'm being grouchy. I couldn't get comfortable all night, so I barely slept. When I did, I'd wake up ten minutes later having to pee. You shouldn't have to endure my crappy mood or my fat ass."

He took her by the hand and led her back to the bed. He nudged her until she was laying down on her side. Then he tucked her pillow under her head and crawled into bed behind her - spoon style. He kissed her neck and started rubbing her lower back with deep but gentle pressure.

"Derek -"

"Shhh…" he kissed her neck again and said, "It is our vacation and I want to spend it with my glowing, beautifully pregnant wife. If you can 'endure' back aches, sleepless nights, hormone surges and mood swings to grow our son; then the least I can do is 'endure' some snarky comments and a bad mood that I know isn't directed at me. Okay?"

She rolled slightly to her back so she could look at him. "Okay," she whispered and smiled at him. She felt a little better. "Thank you," she said as he continued the back rub once she'd rolled back to her side.

"You're welcome," Derek answered. Then, he moved his hands down and massaged her butt. He said, "For the record, I like the extra two ounces you've gained in each butt cheek."

She giggled and it made him happy to hear the sound. "I bet you do," Meredith replied. Then she grabbed his hand and pulled it up to cup her breast. "I've noticed you like the extra fullness here, too."

He made a little sound of acknowledgement but otherwise said nothing. Even though he was grinning. Mer rolled over and caught the look on his face and laughed. "You do like the bigger boobs!"

Derek chuckled, pleased that her mood had shifted for the better. "Hey," he said and kissed her mouth. "I am a male and I never claimed to be perfect."

Meredith reached out and stroked his cheek, "You're my perfect guy. "And," she giggled, "I like that my boobs are bigger, too. They'll fill out more when the milk comes in, too."

"I know," he said with such a pleased grin that she laughed again. She wiggled closer to kiss him. Long, slow, and sweet. Then she put his hands on her boobs again.

"I thought you were tired," Derek said.

"Not that tired," she replied, slipping her hands under his shirt. They made love and then took a nap. When they woke up, they finally made it down to the beach - together.


	70. Returning to Maui (Part 2)

_Chapter 70: Returning to Maui (Part 2)_

Derek and Meredith were walking hand in hand down the beach - at sunset, of course. He squeezed her hand in his and laughed.

"What?" Meredith asked.

"I was just remembering Mark hassling me last year about how I was going to ask you to marry me. I didn't know, I didn't have anything planned as to how. I only knew I wanted to ask you while were here on vacation."

"Your proposal was perfect, Derek," she sighed softly.

"Thank you," he grinned, squeezing her hand in his again. "Anyway, Mark was convinced that I was going to ask you like this," he gestured around them. "On the beach, at sunset, kinda cheesy."

Meredith giggled and then said, "Yeah that would've been cheesy, but still perfect."

"You think?"

"Has it ever occurred to you that things are considered cliché and cheesy because they actually work? Because of the sentimentality attached? We have ultrasound pictures of Ian - just like thousands of other proud parents-to-be. Who gives a crap if it's cheesy? People really need to mind their own damn business."

"Okay," Derek said calmly and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at his wife's rant. He didn't think she'd appreciate it at the moment, and he didn't want her aggravation turned toward him.

They walked along in silence for a few more minutes. Then Meredith said, "Derek, about my rings -"

"Yes?" He asked when she stayed silent. "Do you want to upgrade them already?"

"What?" She asked, her voice rising a little in pitch. She stopped and turned to look at him. "No, I love my rings. You gave them to me, they're beautiful and -"

Derek sighed and caught her lips with his. When all else failed - kissing her always worked. "I was kidding."

"I really need to be normal again," she sighed and grabbed his hand in hers again. "I'm looking forward to having normal hormone levels almost as much as I'm looking forward to holding Ian."

"Your rings, Mer?"

"Oh yeah," she giggled. "They are getting tight on my finger."

"They are?" He asked and pulled her hand to check for himself. "Meredith, this isn't good. Why are you still wearing them?"

She looked at him with a smile and said, "Because they're my wedding rings."

"Mer -"

"Hold on," she said, putting up a hand to ward off a scolding. She laughed and continued, "I saw a woman at my last OB appointment wearing her wedding rings on a chain - as a necklace. I thought it was a good idea. I don't want to be without my rings - so I'm going to do that. Put them on a chain and wear them. Okay?"

Derek turned Meredith so that her back was to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her belly. "Mer, I love you," he said softly. "If you want to leave your rings at home until Ian's born - fine. If you want to wear them as a necklace - fine. I just want you to be happy and comfortable."

"All right," she said with a nod and put hands over his on her belly. "I want to wear them as a necklace."

He kissed her temple and they watched the rest of the sunset before finishing their walk on the beach. Then they went to have dinner and get a platinum chain for Meredith's rings. Back at the hotel, Derek helped Meredith remove her rings and put them on the chain. He fastened it around her neck and then rubbed her tender finger until she was giggling and wrapping her arms around him for a kiss.


	71. Happy Anniversary (Part 1)

_Chapter 71: Happy Anniversary (Part 1)_

Derek awoke to the feel of his wife's lips gliding softly across his. He grinned and wrapped his arms around her before deepening their kiss. After a while, Meredith leaned slightly back from him and carefully said, "Hau 'oli la Ho 'omana'o. Aloha au la 'oe."

He grinned and then started laughing really hard. Meredith sat up and crossed her arms over her chest - which caused them to rest on top of her protruding belly - and glared at him. Unfortunately for Derek, this made him laugh harder. "Mer," he said, and reached for her as she got out of bed. She was surprisingly fast though, and he missed her. "Crap," he mumbled and finally stopped laughing as the door to the bathroom slammed.

Derek got out of bed and walked to the closed door to knock on it. "Meredith, come out. I'm sorry."

He could hear her mumbling angrily as she moved about - presumably getting dressed. "Meredith," he said again and then jumped out of the way as she flung the door open and stormed back into the room. "I'm sor -"

"No," she cut him off and surprised him with her angry tone. "I don't want to hear your apology, Derek Shepherd! You think you're the only one who can be sweet and sentimental in this marriage?"

Derek was trying to concentrate on what she was saying but finding it a little difficult. He was distracted with actually seeing her angry. She flailed her arms and her cheeks were flushed.

"Derek!"

"What?"

"You're not even listening to me," she sighed, shaking her head.

"I am," he insisted, "but Mer, you're over reacting just a little bit. I understand it's the pregnancy -"

She made a really startling, seriously angry sound that rendered Derek speechless. He continued to stand in the middle of the room in surprise as his wife turned and left. He waited, fully expecting her to slam back in and finish yelling at him. When she didn't, he walked to the door and opened it to look in the hallway. He truly expected to see her there. So, when he didn't - he felt even more shocked.

"Fuck!" Derek grumbled under his breath and shut the door. He rubbed his hands over his face and sighed loudly. His beautiful, pissed-off, extremely pregnant wife had stormed off to go - God knows where. All because he'd thought she was cute for trying to say something to him in Hawaiian.

He found his cell phone and called her. When he heard her phone ringing in the room he sighed again in frustration.

"Great," he mumbled, "just great." Fighting with his wife was certainly not what he had planned for their anniversary.

* * *

Meredith sat on a chair on the empty café lanai and watched the waves crash ashore. Now that she'd had a little while to calm down, she realized she probably had over reacted to Derek laughing at her. Damn hormones, she thought. It had hurt her feelings that he'd laughed at her attempt at sentimentality, but she probably shouldn't have stormed out of their room. Oh well, she sighed, so she wasn't perfect. What a crummy way to start their anniversary; having an asinine argument with her wonderful husband.

"Ian," she said and rubbed her belly. "Your mommy is an idiot. I need to go and apologize to daddy." Meredith giggled as her son chose that moment to kick her and her stomach growled with hunger. "Okay, I get it. I need to feed us, too." She wiggled herself to the edge of the chair and then carefully pushed herself to her feet.

Meredith went to the hotel restaurant and ordered breakfast for her and Derek. She asked that it be delivered to their room and then walked toward the elevators. She wanted to get this apology business over with and move about enjoying their first anniversary.

* * *

Derek was getting antsy waiting for Meredith to return to their room. He really wanted to go looking for her, but he still wasn't entirely comfortable on his own in Maui. His sight was still limited and the worry of losing it completely again was always in the back of his mind. If that should happen – he didn't want to be walking around the hotel on his own. So, he waited for her. He was slightly worried because she was running around hugely pregnant and without her cell phone. He was still pissed at himself for laughing at her. He wished they could get back in bed and start this day over – the right way.

Derek was pacing the room when he heard the card key in the door. He went over and pulled the door open for Meredith.

"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time.

"Meredith –"

"Derek –"

They both laughed a little because they'd said the others name at the same time, too. He reached for her in the same moment that she moved into his arms. He shut the door behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head and said, "I only laughed because you were so adorable trying to tell me something in Hawaiian. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"I know," she sighed against his chest. "You're right; I completely over reacted. I'm also going to cop out and blame it on being pregnant."

Derek chuckled and replied, "I wouldn't call it a cop out, Mer."

"I am sorry, though."

"Don't be," he said, rubbing her lower back. "You were right about me not listening, too. Not that it was intentional. I was just mesmerized with seeing what you look like when you're angry."

"Really?" Meredith couldn't help but giggle at his confession. "What do I look like – a deranged person?"

"No," he chuckled. "You look hot."

She leaned up and kissed him on the lips. Then she said, "You're just trying to start the day over and hope to get lucky this time."

"Would that be so bad?" He asked and then kissed her again, longer and deeper this time.

"No," she sighed, "except –"

She was interrupted by a knock on the door, and a voice calling out, "Room service."

"Room service?" Derek asked.

"We're hungry," Meredith said, patting her belly and grinning. "I ordered breakfast before coming back up here."

"Good thinking," Derek said and opened the door. They had their breakfast – pineapple coconut pancakes, hash browns, sausage and fresh fruit – on the lanai.

"I know I ordered a lot," Meredith said and giggled.

"It's okay," Derek said, chuckling with her and smart enough to leave it at that. As they sat and watched the ocean and the beach, Derek pulled Meredith into his lap and whispered, "Happy Anniversary."

Meredith looked at him, smiled and whispered in return, "Hau 'oli la Ho 'omana'o.


	72. Happy Anniversary (Part 2)

_Chapter 72: Happy Anniversary (Part 2)_

"Mer?"

"Yes?" She asked and stretched, trying to ease the discomfort in her back. It was still their anniversary and they were relaxing on the beach. She wiggled around in her beach chair trying to get comfortable.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked with a slight frown.

"Is that what you wanted to know?" Meredith questioned with a small giggle.

"No," he answered seriously and sat up beside her, "but it is now."

"I'm a little uncomfortable and my back is aching. It's nothing new at this point," she sighed.

Derek moved to a squatting position next to her and grabbed her arm to wrap it around his shoulders. He said, "Come on, let's go for a walk." Then, because he knew she wouldn't be able to manage it on her own, he put his arm around her waist and helped her to stand up.

Meredith reached her arms in the air to stretch again. She looked at her husband, smiled and said, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For helping me to get my fat ass out of that chair. There's no way I was going to be able to do it on my own."

He reached out and took her face gently in his hands and kissed her. When he pulled back, he asked, "Will you please stop with the fat ass comments about yourself?"

"Why?" She asked with a smile. "They're true."

"They aren't true," he relied adamantly. "You are pregnant, not fat. And you," he said and placed another little kiss on her lips, "are the most stunningly beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"Oh," she sighed and happy little tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. "Well, when you put it that way."

"I'm putting it that way. I'm asking you to please stop making the degrading comments about yourself. All right?"

Suddenly Meredith grinned and giggled. She grabbed Derek's hand and placed it on the side of her stomach. "Our son agrees with his Daddy," she said as Ian gave a couple of good-sized kicks.

"Of course, he does," Derek grinned, feeling those amazing kicks.

A few moments later, once Ian had settled again, Meredith said, "All right, I'll speak kindlier about myself. Now, what were you originally going to ask me?"

Derek grinned and answered, "I was going to ask if you're hungry."

"I'm always hungry. You know that," she giggled.

"Yeah," he grinned and captured her hand to lace his fingers with hers. "Come on, let's go for a walk and get a snack."

The walk on the beach was nice. Plus, it helped to ease some of Meredith's physical discomfort. The food at the end of the walk definitely made her feel better. At one point she almost made a fat ass remark. Then she looked at her grinning husband and kissed him instead.


	73. Maybe We Should

_Chapter 73: Maybe We Should_

Meredith sat in her office at Seattle Grace. She was supposed to be doing paperwork, but she couldn't concentrate on it at the moment. In two days, a new batch of fresh, eager, surgery-junkie interns would be starting their Residencies. Yes, they'd be scared but they'd also be hungry; for knowledge, to hold a scalpel, to join the Game.

She sighed as she tried to alleviate the ever-present backache. Fortunately, Meredith didn't have her own set of interns to deal with. Besides being due to have her own baby in seven weeks, she was finally beginning the seventh and final year of her own Residency. She'd worked her ass off to get to where she was at this point in her career. How would having Ian change her career? Hers and Derek's marriage? She laughed at herself, knowing it was a little late to be worrying about this stuff.

"Come in," she answered when there was a knock on her office door.

"Hi," Lexie said as she cautiously stuck her head in the doorway.

"What are you doing?" Meredith laughed at her sister. "Get in here and sit down."

"Okay," Lexie grinned and sat in the chair across the desk from her sister. "I wanted to make sure you were in a good mood first. You've been grouchy for the past couple of days."

"You'd be grouchy too if you were forced to leave Maui and come back to a pile of paperwork. You'd also be grouchy if you couldn't get comfortable, had to pee every twenty minutes, didn't sleep through the night anymore and couldn't find a comfortable position for sex with your husband."

"All right," Lexie interrupted and held up a hand to stop Meredith's mini tirade. "I'm sure all of that would make me grouchy. However, I also think you're scared. That's the biggest reason you've been biting people's heads off or holing up in here."

Meredith blinked at her sister and then said, "I don't want to talk about it right now."

"When?"

"Excuse me?"

"When do you want to talk about it?" Lexie said, "You're due to have my nephew in seven weeks, Mer -"

"I know when my son is due," Meredith snapped. At her sister's arched eyebrow and all-knowing stare, she sighed loudly. Then she mumbled, "Sorry. You're right, I am scared. Right now, I feel like I'm afraid of everything and it's making me bitchy."

"I'm pretty sure what you're going through is normal, but you should talk about it. Does Derek know how you're feeling?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"He has enough to worry about right now without adding my neurosis to his list."

"That's not fair to him, Mer."

"I know," Meredith admitted quietly, "but I feel like I've been such a pain-in-the-ass through most of my pregnancy. I just want to hide out and get over the way I'm feeling so I can enjoy the last few weeks of this time."

"What scares you the most?"

Sighing again, Meredith asks, "You're not going to leave me alone, are you?"

"No, I'm not."

"As much as I want I -" Meredith cut herself off and giggled, "this little boy -"

"You named him!" Lexie accused and sat up straight in her chair. "You and Derek named my nephew and you're keeping it a secret!"

"We're not telling anyone until he's born," Meredith giggled again, feeling the pressure and fear in her chest begin to ease. "Thank you for making me laugh, Lex. I'm feeling better."

Lexie crossed her arms and pouted but finally said, "You're welcome, but I still think you should talk to Derek about what's bothering you."

"I'm sure I will. I just want to sort it out first."

"Now that I know his name starts with an I or an E - I'm going to figure it out. You know that, right?"

"How do you know his name doesn't start with a Y?"

"You suck. Both you and Derek suck. You have to tell me his name - I'm his Aunt!"

Giggling again, Meredith said, "Bye Lexie. I'll see you at Molly's on Thursday night for dinner."

Lexie got up and grumbled her way out of Meredith's office. She went back to her boring paperwork. She still felt a little unsettled but the visit from her sister had definitely helped.

* * *

"Mer?"

"Yes?" She replied after stifling a yawn, grateful that they were home as she pulled into the garage and turned off the car.

"I almost told Mark Ian's name today. I didn't mean to -" Derek trailed off as Meredith laughed. "You're not mad?" he asked with a grin of his own.

"No," she said and got out of the car. "As long as you aren't mad that I almost spilled it to Lexie. Accidentally, of course."

Derek chuckled as they walked into their house and put their stuff down. Then he pulled Meredith into his arms and held her to him and rubbed soothing circles along her lower back. "I'm not sure we're going to make it to his birth without revealing his name."

"Me either," she sighed, feeling steadier and more content than she had all day long. "Maybe we should tell everyone at the baby shower next weekend."

"If that's what you want," he said and kissed her mouth softly before letting her go and moving to get two bottles of water from the refrigerator.

"What do you want, Derek?" she asked with just a small bit of snap in his voice.

He turned back to her, handed her the water and smiled after taking a long drink of his own before replying. "I'd like it if we were able to wait until he's born to reveal his name. However, if continuing to keep it a secret is going to create stress then let's tell everyone. There's enough to worry and be excited about without adding something else to the plate."

Meredith went and sat on the couch, looking slightly shocked. Derek watched her closely and then went to sit beside her, He knew something was on her mind and waited patiently for her to talk to him. Quiet and patient seemed to be the best course with her lately. Finally, she turned to him and asked, "You're worried?"

"Yes," he answered. He wrapped his arm around her as she leaned into his side. "I'm mostly excited and ready for Ian to be here but there are a few things I'm concerned about."

"Me too," she admitted softly.

"I know."

"You do?" Meredith asked in surprise.

"Of course," Derek chuckled. "Mer, it's completely natural for you to be worried about giving birth. To be honest, I'm glad I'm not the one doing it."

"Gee thanks," she giggled.

"You know what I mean," he chuckled and squeezed her a little tighter.

"I do," she admitted. "Strangely, I feel better knowing you're worried too. The thing is though, I feel like I'm being stupid worrying about giving birth. I'm a surgeon - I shouldn't be freaked out about this."

"Being a surgeon and actually giving birth are two entirely different things. I think it's normal - and expected - that you'd have a bit of panic over the prospect of pushing a little human out of your body."

Meredith paled a little and said, "Okay, that's not helping so let me ask you something else. Do you think it's normal that I want and love Ian with every fiber of my being, but I'm still concerned with how having him is going to change our lives?"

"Yes."

She looked at him, waiting for elaboration. When it didn't come, she giggled and asked, "That's it? Just yes?"

He grinned. "Let me ask you this - would you change things? Would you give up Ian over the need for adjustment in our marriage and careers?"

"No," she answered immediately and emphatically. "God no," she said as tears gathered in her eyes and she rubbed her belly. "I love our baby so much. Already, I can't imagine life without him."

"Exactly," Derek whispered and reached out to rub her belly also. "I love you and Ian so much. I know everything else will fall into place."

"Yeah," she finally sighed, "you're right."

"Of course, I am."

"Smart ass," she giggled. "I can't say I'm not going to worry over the last weeks of my pregnancy, but I will try to relax. I want to enjoy the rest of this time as much as possible."

"Good," he replied. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes. Do we have spaghetti with red sauce?"

"Yes, and I'll make it if you promise to eat some salad, too."

"Of course," she smiled and accepted his hand to help her off the couch."


	74. You Need Sleep

_Chapter 74: You Need Sleep_

"You look like shit, man."

"Thanks," Derek answered sarcastically.

"Is something wrong?" Mark asked after chuckling at his friend.

"Just tired. Mer isn't sleeping well -"

"So, neither are you," Mark finished and actually sounded sympathetic. "Come on, I'll buy you a coffee."

"I can't," Derek stated and actually groaned. "Meredith is missing it and craving it. I was hoping to make it easier on her and told her I'd give it up, too."

Mark laughed and said, "That's just stupid."

"Yeah well, it sounded good at the time."

"And now?"

"Now it sounds stupid," Derek grinned.

"Why don't you go take a nap in an on-call room. Afterward I'll treat you to that coffee. Meredith will understand," Mark said when it appeared as if Derek was going to protest. "How are you going to take care of her if you're just as exhausted?"

"You're right," Derek nodded. "Thanks," he said and walked toward an on-call room for a much needed, uninterrupted nap.

* * *

"Meredith?"

"Huh?" She blinked, unaware of how long she'd been standing at the nurse's station just staring at the chart in front of her.

"It can't be good for you or the kid to be this tired," Cristina stated quietly.

"Is it that obvious?" Meredith asked her friend.

"Yes," Cristina nodded. "How long has it been since you've had a decent night of sleep?"

"God," Meredith half laughed, half cried, "I don't even know. I think I'm more tired now than I was during my intern year. I expected this after the birth but not before. Dr. Chu said this is just nature's way of preparing us for the first few months with a newborn. How do people do this?"

"Hell if I know," Cristina answered with a slight shudder. "I do know you need some sleep, though."

"I have surgery in two hours," Meredith said.

"I'll grab one of your interns and take care of everything for you while you sleep in an on-call room."

"I can't," Meredith protested, even though she wanted to agree.

"Yes, you can," Cristina insisted. She stepped closer and asked softly, "Do you want the Chief Mommy-tracking you?"

"Hell no," Meredith answered, heat in her voice. "That's why I can't let him think I can't do my job."

"Exactly," Cristina said and laughed at Meredith's confused look. "Okay listen, Lexie and I have spoken about this and don't be pissy about it. The thing is - you're going to need our help for the end of this pregnancy and the first few months you're back after having the kid. And you're damn well going to accept our help, like it or not. The truth of the matter is, you succeeding at being a mommy and a surgeon will make it a lot easier on Lexie and I when we decide to have kids."

Meredith was so touched she thought she might really cry. To keep from doing that though, she teased Cristina, "You want kids?"

"Shut up and get your ass to an on-call room for a nap. Lexie and I will prep your patient and keep the Chief off your back."

"Thank you, Cristina."

"You're welcome," Cristina sighed. "I may suck at the baby shower planning and being gooey part, but I can - and will - help out in this way."

Meredith smiled and went to a blissfully empty and quiet on call room. She was asleep moments after her head hit the pillow.


	75. In the Mood

_Chapter 75: In the Mood_

Derek opened his eyes and squinted at the rare brightness of the sun shining on a Seattle morning. His eyes were unaccustomed to the brightness and he fumbled in his nightstand drawer for the sunglasses he knew were there. He slid them on and sighed in relief at the instant, comforting shield.

A few minutes later, Derek rolled out of bed to go and find Meredith. Unfortunately, it was becoming the norm to wake up and find her gone from their bed. She was up and down much of the night now and she worried about disturbing him. Regardless of the fact that he insisted she wasn't disturbing him - he often found her asleep on the couch or in the nursery. He stepped into the living room and stopped to grin.

Meredith felt Derek's presence and looked up to smile at him. She was in the kitchen slicing up fresh fruit. "Hi sleepy head," she giggled and wrapped her arms around his waist as he stepped into the kitchen and took her into his arms.

"Good morning Mer," he replied after kissing her softly on the lips.

"Morning," she sighed and then held a green grape to his mouth. "Hungry?"

Derek's eyes immediately darkened, and he plucked the grape from her fingers with his lips while watching her smiling mouth. After finishing the fruit - he leaned down to kiss her again. He lingered this time, tracing her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue before dipping into her mouth to play. When they finally pulled apart to breathe, Meredith giggled, "I have ideas for later."

"Later?" Derek asked, his head still clouded and buzzing with sexual promise.

"Yes later - after our appointment with Dr. Chu."

"Damn it," Derek sighed and got another giggle from his beautiful wife. "You're due in four weeks. You're happy, you feel good," he grinned and caressed her breast, "in more ways than one. And if you have 'ideas' you're obviously in the mood so let's just skip today's appointment and stay home."

Meredith blinked and reached up to cup Derek's cheek with her hand. "I've been a real pain-in-the-ass, haven't I?"

"No," Derek answered immediately and put his hand over hers. "It's just that you seem more peaceful and relaxed than you have in quite some time."

"I promise I'll still be feeling this way when we get home. We've only got a few weeks left before Ian's due and I've decided that I'm going to enjoy every moment of this time." She reached up and pulled his head to hers for another quick kiss. Then she said, "That definitely includes lots and lots of sex with my amazing husband. Like I said, I have ideas for finding that comfortable and safe position."

Derek groaned and she laughed again. "Are you sure we have to go in today?"

"Yes. Dr. Chu is checking my dilation and effacement."

"I can do that," Derek stated enthusiastically.

"No," Meredith giggled. "We are not turning anything about this birth into a sex game."

"Who said anything about birth? I just said I can check you out -"

"Really?" Meredith interrupted. "So, you're saying I can lay back and spread my legs for you and you'll remain completely clinical?" She saw his eyes begin to glaze over and grabbed his hand to cup her breast and continued. "What if there's a breast exam?" Her breath hitched as he ran his thumb over her nipple until it peaked and poked at her clothing. "I can't remain detached," she moaned.

Derek unbuttoned her shirt and pushed her bra out of the way. "Me either," he groaned and leaned down to suck her pert nipple into his mouth to suck greedily.

Meredith slid her fingers into his thick, dark hair, and held tight as her head rolled and ripples of pleasure shot through her system. Then she reached between them and gripped his hardening length through his sleep pants. She rubbed him as he moved his mouth to her other breast. In moments, they were working one another to blissful and frenzied orgasmic relief. Afterward, Meredith laughed and said, "We needed that."

"Truly," Derek agreed.

"There's more where that came from," she said on their way to the shower.

"After the doctor appointment," Derek said, pouting.

"Yes," she giggled, "more after our appointment."

Then they stepped into the shower together and took their time getting ready for the trip to the hospital. Both anticipating the time when they got home later in the day.

* * *

Oh God," Meredith sighed hours later as she lay with her back pressed to Derek's chest - waiting for her breathing to return to normal.

"Yeah," he panted and chuckled, leaning down to kiss and lick her shoulder.

"Too bad we didn't think of that position sooner."

"Mmmm," Derek mumbled and moved his lips to her neck. The hunger he felt for her was slightly abated but in no way tamed. In fact, his desire for her never entirely went away. Thank God. He nibbled on her earlobe and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too," she sighed and rolled to her back to look up at him. "Did you think of us doing it that way?"

Derek's eyes softened as he reached out to rub her naked, protruding belly. "You shouldn't lie on your back, Mer."

"I know," she stated. "It feels good, though. I'll move in a minute." She reached up and rubbed his cheek. She smiled and asked, "Why are you evading the question?"

He leaned down and kissed her while running his hand along the softness of her hair. "Yes, I thought of us having sex that way. I think of us having sex in every which way imaginable."

"Me too," she giggled and did indeed roll to her side to face him now. "So, why didn't either of us suggest this sooner? It was spectacular!"

Chuckling, Derek kissed her again. She threw her arms around his sexy, broad shoulders and returned his kiss enthusiastically. He falls to his back and pulls her across his chest. "I want you again."

"Yes," Meredith agreed and straddled his hips. She takes his hands and placed them on her breasts. "I'm not letting you out of bed for a month."

"Good," he groaned, his breath hitching as she swiveled her hips over him. Derek knew just how lucky he was. He'd be thrilled if she stayed this horny until she gave birth. Their sex life was generally great, but it had taken a bit of back seat while she'd been feeling poorly. Now though, his mind went blissfully blank as she slid herself over and down him again.

* * *

**Sorry for the delayed update, I began my senior year of college on the 26th of August. So, unfortunately you guys will now only receive primarily updates on weekends. I hope you understand. I love you all! I hope you understand!**

**\- Cheyenne**


	76. Sealed Up and A Baby Shower

_Chapter 76: Sealed Up and A Baby Shower_

"Derek?"

"Yes?"

"What if I have to have a c-section?"

He'd wondered when she was going to talk about this. Earlier, at their appointment with Dr. Chu, they'd learned that Meredith wasn't dilated or effacing - at all. Taking a steady breath and pulling her closer to his side, Derek said, "Then you have to have a c-section, Mer."

"It's not what I want," she stated. Her voice was calm and serious.

"I know. Maybe you won't need a c-section. We won't know for sure until you're actually in labor."

"You're right and at this point, I'm worrying unnecessarily, but I'd rather we have a plan made before labor even begins."

"A birth plan," he chuckled, thinking of what they'd listened to recently.

"Yes!" she laughed, "a birth plan. What do you want, Derek?"

He sighed and looked away from her for a moment. Then he leaned in to kiss her and answered, "I wish I could make it so you can have Ian effortlessly, painlessly, and in the blink-of-an-eye."

"Derek -"

"However," he squeezed her with a small hug to indicate he wasn't done speaking. "Since I'm not a magician, I just want you to have the easiest, healthiest delivery possible. I will support whatever you want to do - as long as you and Ian are safe."

"So, if I tell you I don't want any medication at all - you're fine with that?"

Derek actually blanched a little but answered steadily, "Like I said, whatever you want as long as you and Ian are safe."

Meredith giggled and said, "Okay but for the record, I have no intention of trying to be super woman. I want to try to have Ian without drugs but if the pain gets to be too much - I promise I'll be asking for an epidural. Okay?"

"Of course!" Derek said with a small catch in his voice.

"If it does come to me needing a c-section," Meredith sighed, "I'll have one without complaint. I just want to try to have Ian vaginally first. I want the experience. I want to know we tried. Is that crazy?"

"No, not at all!" Derek gave a sigh of his own and closed his eyes. He ran his fingers up and down Meredith's back in a relaxing way. As excited as he was about Ian's birth day - he was also completely freaked out about it. He was resolute about staying calm for Meredith's sake, but the idea of her being in pain and not being able to do a damn thing about it really bothered him. He knew everything would be all right, though. "I love you, Mer."

"I know." She moved to kiss him. "I'm grateful for you and our love every day. And even though I'm a little freaked out about giving birth - I'm excited, too. I love you and Ian, and I can't wait to bring him home and for the three of us to be a family." When she was done speaking, she laughed.

"What?" Derek asked with a grin.

"Just," she shrugged and laughed again. "I was such a workaholic - devoted to being a surgeon and nothing else. Then I ran around the corner and straight into you. Now we're married and expecting a baby. I never factored having a family of my own and now it's the most important thing to me. You knocked me on my ass and changed everything."

"Excuse me?" Derek laughed. "I knocked you down? By your own admission - you ran around the corner and into me."

Meredith started to say something and then grabbed his hand and put it on her stomach instead. "Apparently," she giggled as Ian kicked and wiggled around, "he's already agreeing with his Daddy."

They stayed that way - talking to one another and to Ian - for quite some time. And then they got up to go for a walk and have dinner.

* * *

"You know - it's just not normal to have the baby shower this close to your due date."

"Lexie," Meredith smiled at her sister. "Will you please relax? Everything is going to be fine. Even though I think this shower business is pointless - I'm sure it'll be fun. In some strange way."

Lexie let out a giant puff of air. "You're right," she finally agreed. "Molly just has me all worked up, I guess. She's convinced you're going to go into labor in the middle of her party tomorrow."

"I thought it was mine and Derek's party - in honor of our baby," Meredith giggled.

"Yeah, you keep thinking that. Just please, please don't go into labor during the baby shower."

"I'm pretty sure you can stop worrying about that, Lex. According to Dr. Chu - I'm sealed up tight."

"What?" Lexie asked with a frown. Then her face cleared, and she said, "Ewww. Meredith, there are some things I just don't need or even want to know. God," she said irritably and walked away from her laughing sister.

"What's wrong with her?" Mark asked as he walked up to Meredith at the nurses station.

"You don't want to know," she answered as she shifted on her feet - trying to ease the dull ache in her back.

"I do want to know," Mark answered and then frowned as he saw Meredith grimace slightly. "Are you all right, Mer?"

"Yeah," she sighed and then went to carefully sit down. "I'm just one hundred months pregnant and a little uncomfortable - that's all."

Mark quickly came around the desk and knelt in front of her. "Are you in labor? Do you need me to get Derek for you? What are -"

"Mark," Meredith cut him off, "I am not in labor."

"But you just said -"

"That I'm uncomfortable," she interrupted again. "Thank you for caring about us but this little guy is not ready to come out yet."

"How do you know?" Mark insisted, "You've never had a baby. You don't really know what to expect. You said your back hurts - that could be back labor."

"You know about back labor?" Meredith asked in surprise.

"I did a Gynie rotation for my Residency - same as everyone else."

"You remember back labor?"

"All right fine," Mark looked embarrassed. "I've been reading up on labor, delivery and some other baby stuff in case you and Derek need some help."

"Oh," Meredith said and was surprised to feel her eyes fill with tears. "That's really sw -"

"Yeah, yeah," Mark interrupted and stood up. "Let's just have you checked out to make sure you aren't in early labor."

"I'm not in any stage of labor," Meredith said stubbornly.

"You don't know that."

"Actually, I do," Meredith insisted.

"How?"

"Just trust me," Meredith giggled.

"No," Mark said and crossed his arms. "Either you get checked out or tell me how you're so certain you're not in labor."

"Jesus," Meredith mumbled, starting to feel irritated and smothered. "Fine," she said. "I know I'm not in labor because when Derek and I saw Dr. Chu two days ago she said I'm sealed up tight Also, that we should be prepared for the possibility of a c-section. Anything else you think I'm too stupid to know about my own body and my baby?"

"Sealed up?" Mark asked and then went a little pale. "Uh - no. Okay - umm. See you later Meredith," he said and walked quickly away.

Meredith sighed again, feeling just a little bad for giving such intimate information to Lexie and Mark. Why couldn't they just believe her, though? She sat at the nurses station finishing her charts. Afterward, she realized she was hungry and went in search of Derek to see if he wanted to get some lunch with her.

* * *

Meredith looked across the crowded room and saw her handsome husband smiling at her. She smiled back as her heart gave a little jump of pleasure. She wondered if she'd always feel that quick thrill about Derek. She certainly hoped so. She got up from Kathleen's dining room table - where she'd been looking at baby pictures of Derek - and walked across the room to him.

"Hi," he said and wrapped his arm around her to massage her back.

"Hi," she replied and sighed with a mixture of pleasure and relief at the feel of his kneading fingers.

"How are you holding up?"

"Pretty well. Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Derek asked with a slight frown.

"Baby shower," Meredith giggled and looked around at the pretty decorations, elaborately wrapped packages and food-lined side table. Even though Molly and Kathleen had attempted a masculine theme with blue and chocolate brown - it was still feminine and a little froufrou. Meredith assumed it was just the nature of a shower.

"I'm happy to be here," Derek shrugged. "You deserve all of this attention. And I quite like that our family and friends love you and our son enough to want to do this."

"And you," Meredith said seriously

"Of course," Derek said with a slightly cocky grin.

"No," Meredith said and then giggled at his frown. "I mean yes, Of course they all love you, but you deserve all of this, too."

"Oh," Derek said, his contented expression back in place. He shrugged and said, "Regardless, this is for you, Mer. You've done all the work of growing and carrying our son. Enjoy the spoiling," he chuckled and leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips. Unable to help themselves, the happy couple lingered over the kiss.

"Knock it off," Mark's voice interrupted good-naturedly.

"Who invited you?" Derek asked, removing his lips from Meredith's.

"You," Mark grinned.

"Why?"

"Derek," Meredith admonished.

Mark just chuckled and said to Derek, "I think you needed some testosterone to balance all the female gush and baby food tasting."

"They aren't really going to make us taste that nasty stuff, are they?" Meredith asked, looking a little queasy.

"I believe they are," Mark replied, enjoying Mer's reaction. "How can you call your son's future food nasty?"

"We aren't feeding him that jarred crap," she answered adamantly. "When he's ready for solids we'll immediately provide mushier, unseasoned portions of what we eat."

"Great," Mark chuckled, "you're going to be a crunchy earth Mama."

Meredith rolled her eyes in slight annoyance at Mark and walked away.

"Why are you annoying my wife?"

"It's fun." Mark answered with a shrug.

"You're an idiot." Derek said with a grin toward his friend.

"So, I've been told," Mark stated. He looked around the room and gave a slight grimace. Then, turning to Derek, he asked, "Do you suppose there's any beer around here?"

Laughing, Derek said, "Come on, I'll put you out of your misery." He proceeded to lead Mark to the other side of the house. He opened a door and was blasted with the loud sound of a baseball game.

Closing the door behind them, Mark grinned and asked David, "When the hell did you add this room on to the house?"

"Hi," David said, grinning and getting up to shake hands with Derek and Mark. "Welcome to the 'Man Room'. Or, in your case today, 'The Hideout'. We had it added on about a year-and-a-half ago. I figured it wouldn't be long before you'd head back here. Grab a beer and let's watch the rest of the baseball game."

* * *

In the main house, Cristina was grumbling to Meredith about having to taste unidentified jars of baby food. Then she had to write her best guesses down. Whomever had the most correct answers won a shower gift.

"I don't see you tasting this crap-in-a-jar," Cristina said to Meredith.

Laughing, Mer answered, "I'm the Mommy. I'm exempt from the games." She looked at the spoonful of green glop Cristina was about to taste and grimaced, "Thank God."

Cristina shut her eyes and quickly put the bite of baby food into her mouth. Just as quickly, she made a gagging sound. She grabbed the napkin Meredith offered her and spit the food into it. "Oh my God. Oh my God," Cristina whispered in horror. "That tastes like vomit. No wonder babies cry and projectile vomit so much! I'd cry too If my parents were trying to feed me that garbage!"

Meredith was giggling uncontrollably by now. She was drawing attention to herself and Cristina.

"Stop it," Cristina hissed. "Your sisters are coming over here. Stop it before they try to make me eat more of that crap."

Meredith shut her eyes and made herself stop laughing by thinking about surgery and taking deep breaths.

"What's so funny?" Molly asked.

"Isn't this fun?" Lexie asked at the same time.

"Yes," Meredith answered before Cristina could say anything sarcastic. "Thank you."

"So," Molly said, "we're going to have one more game. Then we'll eat, open the gifts and do an art project. Okay?"

"Okay," Meredith said with a straight face.

"An art project?" Cristina asked.

"Yes," Lexie sighed. "It's actually very sweet and -"

"Lexie," Molly interrupted, "it's a surprise. Come on, you can help me set up the poopy diapers before you spoil Meredith's art surprise."

As Molly and Lexie walked away, Cristina turned to Meredith. Both women wore freaked out expressions. "Did she say poopy diapers?" Meredith asked.

"Yes," Cristina replied in disgust. "Listen Mer, I love you. I really do but I can't play a game that involves diapers of any kind. I just can't."

"I love you too," Meredith replied. "Because I do, I'm going to rescue you from this. Come with me."

Cristina happily followed Meredith to the other side of the house and into the 'Man Room'.

"Oh, thank God," Cristina sighed.

"I wondered how long before you had to escape, Yang."

"I lasted longer than you, Sloan. You wimp. I bet you didn't even try any of the vomit-in-a-jar."

"Damn right. I'm too smart to try that crap."

Meredith laughed and sat down beside Derek.

"You have to leave," David said to Meredith with a straight face and much to everyone's shock.

"Why?"

"Cristina can stay," David said, "but you really do have to go. You're the guest of honor. Kath and your sisters will come looking for you. Then we'll all be forced to go out there and taste crappy baby food and search for the crappy diaper. I love ya Mer, but I don't want to be subjected to that. So, see you later."

"I'm exempt from the games, though."

"They'll still look for you," Derek said and got up to help Meredith up from the couch. Then he walked with her to the door of the Man Room.

Meredith sighed and leaned up to kiss him. "You stay and enjoy the game," she said.

"Come get me for the gifts," he said. He kissed her again, then whispered, "I'll make it up to you later."

"Okay," she said with a grin and went back to her baby shower.


	77. Sentimental Value

_Chapter 77: Sentimental Value _

Meredith sat in the gallery watching as Derek gave a lecture to a bunch of eager, wide-eyed interns. For some reason she found all of them extremely annoying at the moment. While she loved hearing, her husband teach - and she was extremely glad that he was still so happy doing it - she needed him right now. It irrationally irked the hell out of her to have to wait for him.

Meredith sighed and shifted in her seat as she felt another uncomfortable tightening in her back. She didn't know if this was labor or not and didn't want to interrupt Derek's lecture for a false alarm. She certainly did want to describe the feeling to him, though. And just have him be with her. Ian was due in eight days and Meredith had been feeling very selfish about her time with Derek since the baby shower. Fortunately, he was feeling the same way. Dr. Chu said what they were going through was completely normal and they should relish this last bit of couple time together. They were going to be parents for the rest of their lives.

Thinking about herself and Derek as parents - as Mommy and Daddy - had Meredith smiling, even as slightly panicked tears filled her eyes.

"What has you feeling weepy?"

Meredith jumped a little and then turned to give Miranda Bailey a watery smile. If someone had told Meredith during her intern year that the woman, she simultaneously feared and worshipped would someday be a very close friend - she'd have laughed herself silly. Yet, that's exactly what the two women had become. In answer to Bailey's question, she said, "I'm thinking about the fact that Derek and I are going to be parents any day now."

"You're scared," Bailey stated.

"Yes," Meredith admitted. "I'm excited too but mostly scared."

"Everyone is afraid of parenthood at first."

"I'm not worried about Derek as a dad," Meredith said. "I'm worried that I'll be a horrible mom, though."

"Why?" Bailey asked in surprise. "Any fool can see that you're already crazy in love with your son."

Meredith smiled and automatically rubbed her stomach. "I do love him. I'm just afraid," she trailed off and shrugged her shoulders. Then she continued, "I'm afraid I'll turn out like my own mom. She had me, but I often wondered why. I never came first, second, or even third for her. There was always a patient, a surgery, someone or something ahead of me. Before I met Derek, I was a lot like my mom in regard to medicine and surgery being my life. I'm afraid I'll make Ian a low priority because that's all I ever knew."

"You won't do that," Bailey replied adamantly after swallowing the emotional lump forming in her throat.

"How can you be so certain of that?"

"Meredith Shepherd," Bailey said in her no nonsense voice, "you mother was a cold robot and you are anything but. When you fell in love with and then married Derek you knew he was blind but that didn't stop you from giving your heart to him."

"What -"

"I'm not done," Bailey snapped. "You have managed just fine to create a strong and happy marriage with Derek and still have a flourishing career. Now the two of you are having a baby together. Is it going to become more of a juggling act? It certainly is but the two of you will manage parenthood together just fine. Got it?"

Meredith didn't know if she wanted to laugh or cry, so she took a big breath and then let it out in a loud whoosh. "I'm just trying to make it all mesh together and sync up perfectly and it's not happening."

"Of course, it isn't happening," Bailey laughed. "Life is messy."

"Yeah," Meredith sighed again. She looked down into the gallery and smiled as Derek looked up and grinned at her. Feeling suddenly calmer, she grinned back and gave a small wave. Then she said to Bailey, "Medicine and surgery used to be my whole life."

"Now they aren't," Bailey stated simply.

"No, they're not," Meredith said and turned to look at Bailey. "They aren't even the most important parts of my life anymore - Derek and Ian are. Does that mean I've lost my edge? Should I be holding a scalpel still? Am I hazardous or helpful to my patients?"

Bailey took Meredith's hand in hers and squeezed. She said softly, "Meredith, you're worrying too much but let me answer you anyway. First, you just admitted that your man and your baby are more important to you than your career. That in itself tells me you don't have to worry one bit about ending up like your mom. Second, even though your family is more important than your career - you still care about it. If you didn't you wouldn't be worried about your patients and losing your edge. Believe it or not - the love you feel for your family - and the fact that they are first for you - makes you an even better surgeon."

Meredith looked at Bailey with tears and a smile on her face. "I love you," she whispered.

Bailey grinned and then hugged Meredith. "I love you, too."

"Hey," Derek's worried voice said from the doorway. "Is everything all right?" He walked over and sat on Meredith's other side as both women laughed.

"Yes," Meredith finally answered.

"She just needed a little reassuring about having it all," Bailey grinned. She got up to leave the gallery and then turned back, "By the way?"

"Yes?" Meredith and Derek said in unison.

"I like the name Ian." She smiled at their surprised reaction. "I won't tell anyone Meredith let it slip to me in a moment of emotional upheaval. You can tell me his middle name when he's born."

Derek, of course, gave Meredith a good-natured hard time about letting their baby's name slip. Then she told him about the erratic muscle tightening in her back. He made her promise to tell him when it happened again. They were both glad they had another appointment with Dr. Chu the next morning.

* * *

Derek was doing his best to understand Meredith's incoherent blubbering but was failing at the task. "Meredith," he said calmly, "You have to stop crying and tell me what I can do to help."

Meredith took several deep breaths, attempting to calm herself down. Finally, she asked, "Can you please do something to make me go into labor?"

His heart twisted at the absolute sincerity and total exhaustion in her voice. It was the last day of August, their son was due in three days, and he was showing no signs of making a timely appearance. Meredith was tired, beyond uncomfortable, ridiculously swollen and so, so ready to hold their baby in her arms. Feeling annoyingly helpless, Derek rubbed his hand down the back of her hair. "How about a cool bath?"

Sighing, Meredith turned to him and said, "I hear castor oil makes labor start."

Derek raised an eyebrow and said, "You know that's an old wives tale."

"I know," she answered, sounding like she might cry again. "I'm sorry I'm being whiny and cranky -"

"Hey, hey," he cut her off. "Mer, I think you're entitled to some whining. Just let me know what I can do to help you feel better."

"I don't know," she sighed again. "I just don't know. I feel like all I do is ask you to do something for me these days; tie my shoes, rub my back, pull my fat ass up from a chair. Aren't you sick of me?"

Derek leaned over and kissed his wife. He smiled when her eyes widened in genuine surprise. Then he kissed her again, taking his time, running his tongue along her lips until she sighed and opened her mouth to him. They kissed for a long time. They kissed until Meredith pulled back and smiled at her husband, her eyes sparkling with happiness. "I guess you still like me," she said.

"I like you," Derek grinned and pulled her back to him. He kissed her again, "I love you." Another kiss, "I want you all the time." Another kiss and then, "You're the one doing the hard work of carrying our son, Mer. I meant it when I told you I'll do anything you want or need. It's a privilege, but I also feel like I'm doing my part by tying your shoes or rubbing your back. Okay?"

"And making me pasta?" She giggled and asked hopefully.

"Yes," Derek replied with a chuckle, "and making you pasta. You do know you're going to turn into a noodle though, right?"

"I'm already a noodle," she smiled. Then she patted her tummy and added, "With one great big meatball here in the front."

Derek laughed and went to the kitchen to put some water on to boil. He went back to the living room and sat down beside Meredith. "Do you want the bath or shower before we eat?"

"Later," she replied, sounding more peaceful and content as he rubbed her back.

"All right," Derek said. A few minutes later he said, "There's something I want to do after we eat."

"Oh, really?' Meredith teased.

"Not that," Derek chuckled. "Well," he amended, "not only that."

"What then?"

"I want to make a belly cast."

Meredith didn't say anything for a few moments. She just looked at her husband. He looked so sincere - and he'd probably hate that she thought it - but sweet. How could she say no to him? She couldn't. She realized she didn't want to, either.

"Mer -"

"Yes," she interrupted.

"Yes?" He looked a little skeptical. "Just like that?"

"Just like that," she smiled. "Surprisingly, I like the idea of the belly cast. I know I moan and cry about being fat and blah blah but mostly I have loved being pregnant."

"I know," he said, pleased that she wanted to do the cast.

"Let's do it now."

"I thought you were hungry."

"I am but now I want to do the belly cast. We can eat after."

"All right," he chuckled and stood up, offering her his hand to pull her to her feet. Derek turned off the stove in the kitchen and got the kit after telling Meredith to strip her clothes off. Then he proceeded to thoroughly coat her stomach with Vaseline while the first plaster strips soaked in warm water.

As Derek layered the strips all over her stomach, Meredith watched him. She felt a tug on her heart at his concentration and the look of love on his face. She had never doubted that he loved Ian from the beginning, but this was just another piece of proof that he did. The fact that he'd thought to make this cast - and was doing so with such pride - spoke volumes about the kind of man he was. After he was satisfied that the cast was well done - Derek cleaned everything up while Meredith stayed still - reading a magazine - while the plaster hardened around her belly. After thirty minutes, Derek carefully pulled the cast off of her then helped her to her feet. They put the belly cast on the table so it could finish drying and hardening.

"That's pretty amazing," Meredith said, feeling sentimental. "Thank you for thinking of preserving this time."

Derek just nodded and kissed her. She looked at his face and saw the sentiment there. She realized that if - God forbid - he should lose his sight again; the belly cast would be a tactile reminder of this time for him. To keep from crying, Meredith reached up and pulled his face down to hers to kiss him. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too."

"I'm going to take that shower now."

"Okay," he grinned and swatted her butt as she turned to walk away. "I'll finish making our dinner, Noodle."

They both laughed as she walked to their bathroom.

* * *

Derek and Meredith were sitting in an exam room of Dr. Chu's office on September third - the day their son was due. They'd just been told that he was still showing absolutely no signs of making his appearance.

"The longest I'll wait to induce you is two weeks," Dr. Chu said calmly.

"Two weeks?" Meredith asked, sounding slightly alarmed. "I'm ready to have him now. I can't wait two more weeks."

"Meredith," Derek started and reached to rub her back soothingly.

"No," Meredith shook her head. "Don't try to placate me." Then, looking at Dr. Chu, "Is there some medical reason you can't induce labor now?"

"No," Dr. Chu said with a small chuckle. She'd had three children of her own and fully understood how her patients felt at the end of their pregnancies. "I do have a couple of c-sections scheduled for tomorrow. Let me get my calendar and we'll pick a day for induction next week. Does that work?"

"Yes," Meredith sighed. For some reason, 'next week' sounded a lot better than two more weeks. She turned to Derek and mumbled, "Sorry."

Grinning, Derek moved to give his wife a kiss. Then he said, "I'd rather you have Ian next week, too."

"Really? Why?"

"Then we can start having sex again in seven weeks."

"We're having plenty of sex now," Meredith laughed. Her hormones were crazy and finding the right position had really put them into overdrive again.

"Yes," Derek laughed, "but we have to stop for six weeks after Ian is born. And psychologically, seven weeks from now sounds better than eight."

Meredith laughed, unable to argue with him under the circumstances.

Dr. Chu came back in and they scheduled Meredith's induction for September tenth. After their appointment they went down to the Pike Place Market. They walked around, holding hands, watching the tourists and the locals intersperse. After a while, Meredith was tired and wanted to sit down. "I miss coffee," she said with a sigh.

"Then let's get some," Derek said.

She gave him a look as if he were crazy and Derek just laughed. He hugged her and said, "You're going to give birth in a week. At this point - I don't think a cup of coffee is going to hurt our son, Mer."

Meredith grinned and agreed with her husband. They sat down so she could rest and they each had coffee. Derek enjoyed watching her pleasure over her drink more than consuming his own. When she actually moaned over the sweet taste he started to break out in a sweat. When Meredith realized where his mind had gone - she intentionally tortured him until he dragged her out of the coffee shop.

While she drove home - Derek ran his hand up her thigh and started kissing her neck. Meredith's pulse jumped and her breath hitched. "You need to stop," she finally said, barely stopping in time for the red light.

"Okay," Derek said and proceeded to bite down on her neck and cup her breast at the same time. She moaned and turned her face to his for a long and hot kiss. Suddenly, she squealed and pushed Derek away from her.

"What?" Derek asked in alarm. "Mer, are you all right?"

"He kicked my ribs so hard," she whispered. As the light turned green, she took Derek's hand, placing it on her belly. They could both feel Ian's tap dancing in Meredith's belly.

"Nice timing, Buddy," Derek said with a huge smile on his face.

"What do you expect?" Meredith giggled; I did just feed him coffee.

"Great," Derek said with a groan, causing his wife to laugh even harder. He looked at her and smiled again. He never took for granted just being able to look at her. He'd already loved the sound of her giggle but now he knew that she smiled with her whole face. And her eyes often twinkled with amusement while she bit her lip to hold her laughter inside. He loved her more every day. "You're beautiful, Mer."

She'd pulled into their garage and turned the car off now. Turning to him - her heart full of the same love he felt - she kissed him softly on the mouth. "Thank you," she said quietly. When he told her something she believed it completely.

Ian changed his rhythm and kicked her some more. Derek grinned and patted his son through her tummy. "You're wide awake, aren't you?"

"And ready to play," Meredith said as Ian patted back from the inside. She looked into Derek's eyes and said, "Our plans will have to wait until later."

"Definitely," he agreed and kissed her quickly before getting out of the car and going around to help her inside.


	78. It's Time

_Chapter 78: It's Time_

Derek couldn't help glancing at the clock once again as one of the interns asked him a question about the surgical lecture he'd just given. As much as he loved the fact that he was working within the medical world again - he'd give just about anything to be done with this right now. Meredith was at home not-so-patiently waiting for her induction. She'd been off work for four days and was already going a little stir crazy. He knew that would change once Ian was born, but for now Derek was feeling anxious right along with his wife. And he wanted to be home with her. He didn't like the idea of her being alone at this point in her pregnancy.

Derek finished with the many, many questions the residents had for him. Then he went to write up some notes he wanted to remember for refining this lecture in the future. After today - he wouldn't be back to work until Ian was one month old. He set his pen down and leaned back in his chair as he started to feel a little shaky.

"Are you all right, Derek?" Mark asked upon walking into his best friend's office and finding him a little pale and spaced out.

"I'm going to be a father," Derek said quietly.

"No shit," Mark said and burst out laughing. When Derek remained stubbornly silent, Mark asked, "Is your pending fatherhood really just hitting you?"

"Yes," Derek sighed and brushed his hands over his face. "The enormity of having him is just sinking in for me."

"I don't believe you," Mark said calmly.

"Why would I bullshit you about this?" Derek asked in slight irritation.

"I think maybe to some degree you are freaking out about the lifetime responsibility of having a son. However, I think your minor freak out here has more to do with Meredith actually having to give birth in three days."

"Maybe," Derek mumbled.

"No 'maybe' about it," Mark said with conviction. "I know you and the idea of not being in control pisses you off. Plus, your wife, whom you are insanely in love with is about to go through something unbelievably painful. Even if the end result is the birth of your son - she's still going to go through hell first."

"Oh fuck," Derek grumbled and scrubbed his hands over his face and through his hair in agitation. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. What am I going to do?"

Mark laughed again and said, "I think it's good you're having this meltdown now. And what you're going to do is show up, obviously. You're going to feed her ice chips, let her break your fingers if necessary and don't take any of the shitty things she might scream at you personally."

Derek looked at Mark's serious expression and found his own nervousness fading away. He laughed and said, "You sound like you've been reading the same as Mer and I."

"I have," Mark grinned. "Now, are you ready for me to take your sorry ass home to your wife?"

"Yeah," Derek said and gathered up his stuff. "Thanks."

"Any time."

* * *

The following day, Meredith and Derek slept-in as long as they could. Then they started their day off with mind-blowing sex and breakfast in bed. Meredith spent a little time in Ian's room checking - for the hundredth time, at least - that there were enough newborn diapers, wipes, tiny pajamas and a million other things stocked. She looked around the blue and red room that they'd decided to decorate with baseballs and fire engines - and rubbed her stomach.

"In a few days we're going to bring you home to your room, Ian. The fire engines were my idea and the baseballs were Daddy's. He loves baseball - you'll learn that about him. He's a huge Yankees fan - it's his one big flaw. Damn New Yorker."

"Hey," Derek laughed from the doorway.

Meredith turned around and grinned at her husband. She walked to him and wrapped her arms around him before kissing him soundly on the mouth. "Don't worry, we love you even if your taste baseball sucks."

"Speaking of sucks - you're a Red Sox fan."

Giggling, because this is the one thing they absolutely disagreed about, Meredith said, "You know Ian is either going to despise baseball or go for the Mariners."

"Bite your tongue, my son will be a Yankees fan."

"Your son? Considering I'm the one about to fall over with this big meatball in front of me - he'll be a Red Sox fan."

Derek laughed and asked, "Do you want to go see a movie?"

"Are you changing the subject?"

"Absolutely," he replied and kissed her.

"Smart man," Meredith giggled and continued, "yes let's see a comedy. I think that's about all I can handle right now."

They left the house and did indeed go see a movie. They came back to the house and took a walk on their land before making dinner. They were enjoying their peaceful time together - before the happy chaos that was just around the corner. Before they went to bed they switched on the news. A few minutes into it Meredith sat up and winced. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Meredith replied, sounding puzzled. "Just a bit of tightness in my back."

Derek reached over and started to rub her lower back. She moved his hand up to the middle and said, "It was actually here."

"Really? That's new," he said and rubbed while they watched the rest of the news. While Meredith was brushing her teeth she felt the tightening sensation again. It was a tiny bit stronger this time.

"Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"It's happening again."

"Really?" His eyes lit up with a mixture of excitement and worry as he came over to feel around her back. "Are you in labor?"

"I have no idea," she answered with a giggle that sounded excited and slightly alarmed.

Derek stood in front of his wife and rubbed her tummy. "Ian, are you ready to come out and see us now?"

"You're not going for the induction, are you?" Meredith asked her son as she put her hands over her husband's on her tummy. "You've got your own agenda."

Derek looked up and grinned at Mer and then kissed her, long and hard. Then he pulled back and stated, "He wouldn't be our son unless he was a bit hard headed. Are you feeling anything else?"

"No," she answered with a slight pout, "nothing."

They went to bed and fell asleep pretty quickly. Meredith woke up about a half-hour later to a stronger tugging and tightening, lower in her back. Okay, she thought, this has to be the beginning of labor.

She lay in bed, waiting for something to happen again. Twenty minutes later - just as she was dosing off - it happened again. She laughed almost reached to wake Derek up before deciding not to. There was no reason he shouldn't sleep as much as possible. Meredith tried to sleep but the early labor pangs were definitely keeping that from happening. They weren't painful - just uncomfortable enough to keep her from going into a good sleep. They were also very sporadic. She had started timing the contractions as soon as she realized that's what they were. There was no consistency to them at first. They were jumping all over the place in distance. Thirty minutes apart, then ten, then fifteen, then twenty and five. It was actually pretty frustrating. Between five and six in the morning they finally evened out and happened every fifteen minutes. The discomfort even went up a notch. Meredith got up to walk around their house because she was really restless now and still didn't want to wake Derek.

Between six and seven the contractions were every ten minutes apart and she finally thought it might be time to get Derek up. She went to the bathroom first. She wiped and saw a little blood. Calmly, she washed her hands and went back into the bedroom. She sat on Derek's side of the bed and nudged his shoulder. "Derek?"

"Huh?" He answered groggily, not even opening his eyes.

"Derek," she said again and shook him a little harder, so he did open his eyes and looked at her.

"It's time."


	79. Labor and Lessons

_Chapter 79: Labor and Lessons_

_"__It's time."_

Derek sat up straight - his wife's words jolting him wide awake more effectively than a shot of espresso. He took a close look at Meredith's face and immediately noted that she was slightly pale and tired. He reached out to caress her cheek and asked, "How far apart are your contractions?"

"Every ten minutes for the past hour," Meredith answered with a sigh and leaned into his hand. "Every fifteen minutes the hour before that. And the rest of the night they were all over the place - very erratic."

"Okay," he said calmly and nodded. "Did you sleep at all?"

"Not really. I dozed here and there but nothing deep. There was a small amount of blood when I went to the bathroom."

Derek hugged Meredith and then nudged her back onto the bed. "Rest while I call Dr. Chu and Kathleen."

"Kathleen?"

"Yes," Derek said softly but with determination. "You're tired and you're in labor. No way are you driving."

"Oh," she said with a yawn and then smiled. "You're right - having Kathleen drive us is a great idea. But Derek?"

"Yes?"

"I'm surprised we haven't discussed this but when it comes time to actually have Ian - I just want you and I in the room. Okay?"

"Of course," he smiled back at her and then winced when she did. Immediately he was at her side, holding her hand. "Are you having a contraction now?"

Meredith nodded her head as she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then she looked at the clock and told Derek, "It's been ten minutes since the last one."

"How are they on a one to ten scale?"

"They aren't really painful," Meredith said, leaning her head on his shoulder. "They're just uncomfortable but enough to say about a one-and-a-half."

Derek kissed her on the forehead and said, "I'm going to make the calls. I'll be back in less than ten minutes."

Meredith lay on her side, rubbing her belly as she took a couple of deep breaths and cleared her mind. She knew she wasn't going to sleep, but she did need as much rest as possible. At least, that seemed like a logical course of action to her. True to his word, Derek was back in their room less than ten minutes later. He handed her a banana and a slice of lightly buttered toast. "Kathleen's on her way and Dr. Chu says to get to the hospital. She thinks it'll still be a while before Ian is born but considering that your contractions are ten minutes apart -" he trailed off with a smile and a shrug.

She giggled and said, "Yeah, and since we live in the boonies - we're better off getting to the hospital now."

"Pretty much," he stated and sat down beside her. "You should eat."

"I'm not supposed to."

"Mer," he reasoned, "once we get to the hospital, you're going to be living on ice chips and other forms of liquid until Ian is born. Since we agree that it's going to be a while before he actually arrives - I think you're safe to eat something."

Two hours later they were at the hospital, checked in and still in labor. Meredith was hooked up to an IV and two stretchy belts were wrapped around her belly. One of the belts was monitoring Ian's heartbeat and both Meredith and Derek were paying close attention to that one. Everything was fine - they were just extra tuned-in to their son today. Dr. Chu had just left, and Meredith was only dilated to two centimeters. Her contractions were every eight to ten minutes and her pain level was about a three now.

"Derek?"

"Yes?" He was sitting next to her bed, holding her hand and stroking her belly with his other.

"This is going to take a while."

"Maybe not," he said, trying to be optimistic even though he thought she was right.

Meredith laughed and said, "It is going to take a while, but I appreciate you trying to say otherwise. I've been in labor for eleven hours and I'm only at two centimeters. That's five-and-a-half hours per centimeter with eight to go. So, what are we looking at here? Forty to forty-four more hours of labor?"

"Mer," he said and got up to kiss her gently on the mouth. "You know labor isn't a mathematical equation. There are things they can do to speed it up - like give you some Pitocin. We have to make sure you stay calm and relaxed and thinking of this being forty plus hours isn't going to achieve that."

"I'm just trying to be realistic," she stated with a smile. Then she grits her teeth through another contraction.

Derek looked at the monitor and saw that this contraction was the strongest one yet since they'd arrived at the hospital. A small part of him was thankful for that because stronger contractions moved the labor along. Mostly though, he hated that Meredith was going to be in pain.

As if to confirm his fear, Meredith said, "That one actually hurt."

"I know," he whispered, rubbing her cheek.

"Will you go get my sisters?" Meredith asked. "Bring Mark if you want. His company would be good for you right now and we could both handle the comic relief."

Derek chuckled and kissed her on the mouth before leaving her labor and delivery room. He had an amazing wife and was so thankful for the fact. She was in slow-labor with their son but she was still thinking of what he might need. He'd go get Molly, Lexie and Mark but then he was going right back to her. There was no way he was leaving her alone to deal with this on her own. He couldn't help but grin in the elevator on the way to the cafeteria. Sometime very soon - he and Meredith would be holding their son.

* * *

At twelve hours into her labor - Meredith's water hadn't broken and she was still only two centimeters dilated. Her contractions were still five to seven minutes apart but stronger and definitely painful. She was tired already and not really sleeping the night before didn't help at all. While Dr. Chu turned to throw away her latex gloves after examining her - Meredith looked at Derek and her eyes filled with unwanted tears. Derek laced his fingers with hers and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. Then he turned to Dr Chu and asked, "What are our options at this point?"

"I wouldn't be opposed to performing a Caesarean section -"

"No," Meredith interrupted with a strong shake of her head. "I know my labor isn't progressing. I'm not going to say no to a c-section if it comes to that, but I don't feel like I'm there yet. Other than being tired - I'm doing fine and so is our baby."

Dr. Chu grinned - it was always an interesting experience having a doctor as a patient. They were always so stubborn about their treatment - and Meredith Shepherd was no exception. "All right. I can break your water and give you a dose of Pitocin to hopefully speed things up."

"Okay," Meredith sighed but nodded her head yes. After Dr. Chu left the room Meredith turned to Derek and said, "Help me get up, please."

He did and asked, "Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Yes."

They left their labor and delivery room to walk the halls. Meredith's IV bag was attached to a portable stand and Derek was on her other side with his arm wrapped protectively around her waist. "Mer," he said quietly, "you know the Pitocin has the potential to increase your pain during the contractions."

"Yes, I do," she sighed tiredly and then stopped as another contraction began.

Derek pulled her closer to him and gritted his teeth in frustration and worry. He wasn't an idiot - he knew labor wasn't easy, but he was having a really hard time watching his wife go through this while he did nothing.

"Okay," Meredith said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "It's done."

He smiled at her, pushed her hair off her face and stroked his fingers softly down her cheek. "I love you," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"I know," she said, and her voice cracked, and her bottom lip quivered.

"Hey -"

"I think I'm about to fall apart," she whispered.

"Come on," he said and led them back toward their room. "You don't want to have an audience for everything."

Meredith wanted to laugh, grateful that he was trying to lighten the mood. Instead, tears started to leak from her eyes. As they neared the room, they heard the voices of Molly and Lexie. Groaning, Meredith said, "Derek, I know I asked for them but -"

"Don't worry Mer, they can wait." He opened the door to the room and Lexie and Molly immediately jumped up in excitement.

"We need some time," Derek said bluntly as he helped Meredith to sit on the edge of the hospital bed.

"Okay," Lexie and Molly said in unison and gathered their stuff to leave the room. They stepped up and each kissed Meredith on her cheek first.

"I'm sorry," Meredith whispered, tears streaming freely down her cheeks now.

"No," Molly replied softly and wiped her sisters tears away, "don't be sorry, Mer. Labor is rough - you have every right to your time alone. Derek can let us know when you're ready for us to come back."

"You're the oldest," Meredith said with a small smile.

"Also, the experienced one when it comes to this," Molly teased.

"I love you, Meredith."

"Love you too, Lex."

"Do you want some ice chips?" Derek asked once they were alone again, and he had Mer reattached to the equipment monitoring her and Ian.

She was still sitting on the side of the bed and shook her head no as she opened her arms. Derek went and sat beside her then wrapped her in his arms again. He held her tightly as she did indeed break into gut-wrenching sobs. He ran his hand through her hair and down her back over and over feeling more helpless than ever. "It'll be okay," he whispered, kissing her cheek and then moving to look into her eyes. "It'll be okay, Mer."

She shook her head no vehemently. Then she tried to speak around her crying, "I can't do this, Derek!"

He wiped the tears from her cheeks, much as her sister had. Then he kissed her quickly before saying, "Meredith, just breathe. Take a deep breath."

She closed her eyes and forced herself to take the deep breath he'd suggested. She concentrated on the feeling of his hands wiping her cheeks and soothing her. "I can't do this," she whispered again, but more calmly this time.

"Look at me, Mer."

She opened her eyes and looked into his intense blue gaze. Seeing the emotion swirling there and knowing he was holding it together for her had a very settling effect. "I love you," she said.

"I know," he said. "Mer, you're doing great. You're strong, beautiful, and amazing. At the end of labor, you get to hold Ian and count his fingers and toes."

"Yeah," Meredith finally smiled again, "but the labor part sucks ass."

After the next contraction - which left her a little breathless - she decided to lie back down.

"I think you should have an epidural," Derek said and sat on the bed beside his stubborn wife as she shook her head no. He couldn't help but grin at her. "Mer, I know you said you didn't want one, but you also said you'd be open to the possibility if it seemed it would help you during the labor."

"You said you'd support whatever I wanted," she snapped. "I don't want the damn epidural! Supposedly they slow down the labor."

"That is not a proven fact - which you know," Derek snapped as his own worry and frustration escalated. "I don't think it's possible for your labor to move any slower than it is already."

"Go away."

"What?" Derek asked in surprise.

Meredith knew her sudden, raging irritation with her husband was irrational but she still couldn't help yelling at him, "Get out!"

Derek rubbed a hand down his face and said, "Meredith -"

"Get out! Get out! I don't want to be a drugged-up rag doll! My labor isn't moving fast enough for you so get out and I'll do this on my own!"

"That's not what I meant," he said as her monitors showed her heart rate accelerating. And this was the moment Miranda Bailey walked into their room with the L&D nurse. "Mer," he said and tried to hug her, "you have to calm down."

Meredith actually smacked his hands away from her and started screaming again, "Don't tell me to calm down! I'll calm down when you take your pompous attitude and go the hell away!"

"What the hell?" The anger Derek was beginning to feel evaporated as Meredith started to have yet another contraction. "It's only been about two minutes."

"Get out, get out, get out," Meredith chanted angrily through her teeth as she tried to breathe through the contraction.

"No," he said stubbornly.

Miranda took him by the arm and said, "Come on Derek. Let's just give her a few minutes. She's not alone and we'll just go have a coffee. Okay?"

"Fine," he sighed and left the room with Miranda. About ten steps down the hall, he turned around and said, "No, god damn it, this is not okay." He started to walk back toward Meredith's room and Miranda grabbed him by the arm again. She held tight as he tried to shake her off.

In her stern, I'm-Queen-Bailey voice, she said, "Derek, you need to calm down and pull it together before you go back in there."

He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face again. Then he leaned back on the wall and said, "I suggested she get the epidural and she lost her mind."

"I heard most of it from out here," Miranda grinned.

"It's not funny," Derek said. "Meredith is not acting like herself and I'm worried about her. She's a damn doctor. There's no way she'd let a patient of hers go through unnecessary pain, but she rips my head off because I want her to have an epidural."

"Derek," she said gently, "Meredith is not a doctor right now. She is a woman in labor, and I promise you - regardless of what she may say or do - she is freaked out. She needs you to be the strong, rational, calm one right now. I am not done," she said and held up a finger to stop him as he started to speak. "I am not negating that this is hard on you - watching your wife go through this - but it's a hundred times more difficult for her. At the end of the labor, she still has to push your son out or be cut open and have him taken out. Then, she has to heal from it and go on a roller coaster ride for the next couple of months while her hormones level out and she adjusts to being a new mom."

"Jesus Miranda," Derek sighed and rubbed his eyes. "You don't need to be graphic about it. I understand what's going on."

"I do need to be graphic about it," she snapped, "there is nothing kind or gentle about what Meredith is going through. So, get a coffee and then go back to your wife. Whatever she dishes out to you - screaming, weeping, breaking your fingers - you suck it up and deal. Got it?"

Derek looked down at the tiny, fierce woman in front of him and grinned as the nerves he'd been feeling strangely eased away. "How the hell do people ever opt to go through all of this again?"

Miranda laughed, "The love you end up feeling for the child clouds the memory to the difficult parts of pregnancy and the hell of labor."

"That sounds so cliché"

"Believe me, I know, and yet I just had my third child."

"True," Derek said as they walked to the coffee cart. He drank some of his coffee and then took the rest back to see Meredith. Hopefully she'd calmed down enough to want him back in the room now because he really needed to be with her and Ian.


	80. Help of a Friend

_Chapter 80: Help of a Friend_

When Derek walked back into Meredith's room, she was in the throes of another strong contraction. He was relieved when she reached out for him. He immediately wrapped his arms around her and held her gently through the contraction.

"I'm sorry." she said once she had her breath back.

Derek kissed her and whispered, "Don't worry Mer, I'm fine."

"I was such a bitch."

"No," he said and held her hands tightly in his, "don't beat yourself up. Just," he trailed off and held her tighter, "please don't."

"All right," she answered and rested her head on his shoulder. Dr. Chu came in a couple of minutes later and broke Meredith's water with a tool that looked like a giant crochet hook. The L&D nurse administered the Pitocin and left the room. Meredith shifted in the bed and gave a strange little sound.

"What do you need?" Derek asked carefully.

"For Ian to be born," she answered and gave a small laugh. "I don't know why, but I thought the water breaking would be more of a gush. Obviously, I didn't pay enough attention in my OB/GYN rotation or I'd know this is more like a steady trickle."

"Really?"

"I know you want to laugh," Meredith said and gave in to her own giggles. "It feels like I'm peeing myself."

Derek had started laughing with her and now just shook his head and grabbed a bunch of towels.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you think?" He tapped the side of her butt and said, "Lift up."

Doing so, she said, "This is gross."

"It's natural," Derek said as he put the dry towels under her to help catch some of her fluid.

"Yeah, naturally gross," Meredith insisted. "Maybe if I get up and move around it'll help."

Derek started to say something and then decided against it.

"What?"

"Well," he said carefully, "if you get up right now there's just going to be a puddle on the floor."

"You're right," she said and had another fit of giggles.

Derek grinned. He'd much rather hear his wife laughing than yelling. Meredith's giggles abruptly turned to a gasp and a groan as another contraction started. He looked at the monitor and immediately saw that it was a stronger one due to the drugs. "Roll on your side," he said and reached to softly touch her stomach. He had to take a deep breath when he felt how tight her muscles were with the contraction. She grabbed his hand in hers and squeezed tightly. Derek thought he felt the peak and glanced at the monitor to see that it was true. "It's almost done, Mer. Try to take a deep breath," he said calmly.

"Oh my God," she groaned, "that was -" she had to stop to breathe.

"Just catch your breath," Derek whispered and pushed her slightly sweaty hair off of her forehead. "I know that one was bad."

Meredith gave an understandably irritated and inelegant snort. "Bad doesn't even come close to describing how these damn contractions feel," she said a few moments later. "Did I tell you I think labor sucks?"

"Yes."

"I hate this. I just want to hold my son. How is it that with all of the modern medical advances no one has come up with a better way to give birth?"

"Umm," Derek hesitated and thought, Shit. How the hell do I answer this? Fortunately, Meredith laughed, and he focused on her face and smiled in return.

"You should see your face. You look so freaked out."

He grinned at her and asked, "Do you want answers or just a sounding board?"

"Just a sounding board," she answered and lifted her butt, "and some dry towels, please."

Derek grabbed dry towels and put them in place of the wet ones. After he tossed them in the laundry bin, he turned back to see her smiling at him again. "What?"

"I saw you grimace. I told you this is gross."

He leaned down to kiss her on the lips. "You're my wife; you're amazing and beautiful. I love you and our son. This is not gross - it's natural."

"Okay," she said, rolling her eyes. "You stick with that story. I'm sticking with gross. I can't believe people do this over and over."

"Oh," Derek said in mock surprise. "You don't want eighteen kids?"

Meredith groaned, "I might hurt you just for saying that out loud."

Over the next hour, Meredith had seven more contractions. The pain seemed as if it was escalating with each one. When Dr. Chu checked her dilation again and announced no progress Derek felt his stomach bottom out. Especially at Meredith's reaction.

"What?" she asked in utter disbelief. "Check again!"

"I'm sorry Meredith," Dr. Chu said calmly but firmly. "You're still at two centimeters."

"I've been in labor for thirteen hours! And the Pitocin has made the contractions stronger and more painful! How the hell can I still only be at two? What's the effacement?"

"Less than fifty percent. Other than the lack of progression - you're fine and so is your baby. At this point I'm all right with you continuing to labor but I'm not convinced you're going to fully dilate and efface."

"You think she's going to need a c-section," Derek stated.

"Yes," Dr. Chu confirmed. "You two talk about it and I'll be back in an hour to check on you again. Meredith?"

Meredith turned her gaze from looking out the window and back to her doctor. She didn't say anything, though. She couldn't because she felt like a complete failure. She was exhausted, hungry, cranky and apparently her body was going to be completely uncooperative.

"Do you want an epidural?"

Meredith shook her head no and turned back to the window. She missed the concerned look that passed between her husband and her doctor. She turned back when Dr. Chu called her name again.

"There's no reason for you to go through this in pain. The epidural will make you comfortable and make your labor bearable. It's better for you and your baby - especially under the circumstances."

Meredith relented slightly by saying, "I'll think about it."

Once they were alone again Meredith turned to Derek and said, "You want me to have the epidural."

Derek rubbed his tired eyes and tried - unsuccessfully - to roll the worry and tension from his neck. Then he sat down beside Meredith again and helped her through yet another contraction. When it was done, he said, "I'm standing by the fact that I'll support your decision but yes, I'd like it if you'd have the epidural, Mer. I realize you have the much shorter end of the stick here, but it makes me sick to see you in so much pain. Especially when we know there's something as effective as an epidural available to you. We just have no idea how long this is going to take."

Meredith rubbed her own tired and gritty eyes. "Can you help me up?"

After she was up and moving around her room she said, "Rationally, I know what you're saying is completely true, Derek. I'm sorry because I'm not trying to hurt you or make you uncomfortable or be stupid. I just wanted some level of control over this experience, but I know I haven't really got any. I'm tired, hungry - believe it or not - and god damn sick of labor!"

"Mer -"

"I just want this to be over! I want to officially meet our son," she said and started crying as another contraction gripped her with a vengeance.

Derek caught her around the waist and started to lead her to the bed. She shook her head no and held him tight around the shoulders. When the contraction subsided, she said, "It was easier to deal with standing up."

"Really?"

"Yes," she said with a small smile. "I'm leaning strongly toward the epidural."

"Thank God," Derek sighed and made her giggle a little.

"I'd like to see Cristina."

He laughed out loud and had an ornery little boy grin on his face.

"What?"

"Oh, I don't know," Derek chuckled again. "I just don't think Cristina's going to be too pleased with visiting right now. Labor and babies don't really seem to be her thing."

"True," Meredith nodded, "but she does show up for the important things - even if it is reluctantly."

"And a little tipsy."

"Derek."

"Meredith."

She arched her eyebrow at him, and he said, "Fine, I'll find her."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Just let me get you back in bed, so I don't have to worry about you falling over with a contraction."

After he had her settled again, Derek went in search of Cristina Yang. He would have called her, but he was fairly certain she'd ignore his call. This way, she had no choice but to accompany him back to see Meredith. And she would, even if he had to drag her. His laboring wife wanted her friend so her friend would be delivered.

* * *

Cristina."

Looking up from the chart she was writing in - Cristina saw Derek and said, "You look like hell."

He chuckled and said, "Thanks. It's good to know I look like I feel. Meredith wants to see you."

"Oh," she said and closed the chart with a smile. "Why didn't you just say the baby has arrived?"

"Because he hasn't."

"Oh," Cristina said again and paled as her smile disappeared. "Tell Meredith I'll come for a visit after the baby is born."

"Yang," Derek said calmly but with steel in his voice. "My wife and your friend, is asking for you. I'm not going back to her without you. Now, you can come agreeably, or I can drag you all the way there. Your choice."

"Uhhh -" Cristina stammered, at a loss for words. She swallowed hard at the look of determination in Derek's eyes. Finally, she said, "It's bad."

"It's no cake walk."

In a rare show of affection, she reached out and put her hand on Derek's arm. "How far along is she?"

"It's been over thirteen hours now. She's only at two centimeters and less than fifty percent effaced."

"That sucks."

"Yeah," Derek chuckled at Cristina's candor, "it really does."

"At least she's not feeling any pain," she stated.

He just stared at her in response. Then her mouth fell open in complete shock. "Has Meredith had an epidural?"

"No, she's refused up until now. Right before she asked me to find you, she admitted that she's finally leaning toward getting it."

Cristina started marching toward the elevators. Derek went with her and said, "You have to be nice to her."

"No, I don't. You have to be nice to her so she doesn't break off a piece of your body, but I can tell her just how stupid she's being."

He grabbed her arm and said, "I'm serious Cristina - be careful about how you are with Meredith. You can be honest with her but remember that she's your friend and inject some extra compassion. She's all over the place - laughing one minute and crying the next. I don't want her unnecessarily upset."

"All right, all right," she replied, jerking her arm free. "Jeez."

When they walked into the L&D room Meredith was getting her breath back from another awful contraction. As the nurse moved from Mer's side to write in her chart - Derek stepped up to offer his wife ice chips.

"Stupid ice chips," Meredith muttered but sucked some down anyway. "Hi," she said to Cristina.

"Hi," Cristina said and walked over to hold her friends hand. "So, I heard this is taking a while?"

Meredith laughed then replied, "A while is an outrageous understatement."

"You look like crap."

"Cristina," Derek snapped in irritation.

Meredith giggled again and looked at Derek to tease, "You said I look beautiful."

"You do," he insisted and glared at Cristina.

Cristina shrugged and smiled at Meredith. "He has to say you look beautiful because he wants to have sex with you again someday. Since I don't care about that - I can tell you the truth. Which is - you look like crap, but you'd look a lot better if you weren't putting yourself through unnecessary pain."

"Ahh," Meredith sighed, "you're in cahoots."

"No," Derek said.

"No," Cristina agreed. "We didn't plan anything. Derek just gave me a quick rundown of the situation. I'm pretty certain I speak for all of your family and friends when I say I don't like knowing you're in so much pain when you don't have to be. Meredith," she said and squeezed the hand she was still holding, "you don't have to try and be Superwoman. Everyone already knows women are the superior sex - you don't have to prove anything."

Meredith started to laugh and then groaned out loud as another contraction began. By the time it was done she was crying and squeezing Cristina's hand to the breaking point.

"Holy crap," Cristina gasped and rubbed her hand when Meredith finally let go.

"I'm sorry," Meredith said.

"No, it's all right. Thank you, actually."

"For what?" Meredith and Derek asked simultaneously.

"For helping me come to the conclusion that I definitely do not ever want to go through this. If I ever decide I want a kid I will absolutely be adopting. Jeez, a real-life labor and delivery ought to be a school field trip for seventh graders. If they saw this - I bet the teen pregnancy rates would drop dramatically."

A short while later, Cristina was paged. Before she left, she hugged Meredith tightly and whispered good luck. She asked Derek to let her know when the baby arrived and left the room.

At one p.m., Dr. Chu came in to check on Meredith again and declared that she had dilated to four centimeters. She was elated with that news and smiled at Derek as she said, "Dr. Chu?"

"Yes?"

"I'd like the epidural now."

"I'll arrange it right away," she replied and left the room.

Derek pulled Meredith into his arms and kissed her. Then he said, "Thank you."

"You were right," she said. "And so was Cristina. I'm being dumb not getting one."

"No, not dumb. It is ultimately your choice whether to use the drugs or not. I'm just glad - under our circumstances - that you are getting one because I really hate seeing you in all this pain."

"Yeah," Meredith sighed. "I love you."

"Love you too, Mer."


	81. Hospital Fun

_Chapter 81: Hospital Fun_

"Kiss me."

"What?" Derek asked with a chuckle; pleased to see the blissful, pain-free look in his wife's eyes.

"Kiss me," Meredith said again, reaching out for him.

Derek sat on the edge of her bed and leaned over to place a quick, almost chaste kiss on her lips. Meredith gave an annoyed little sound and pulled his face back to hers and sealed her lips to his.

Derek's quick laugh turned to a groan when she snuck her tongue inside his mouth and rubbed it along his. Unable to resist, he slid his hands through her hair and tilted her head to kiss her back with equaled abandonment. When he started to pull away, she grabbed the back of his head and pulled his mouth back to hers. Meredith sucked on his bottom lip, causing another groan to rip from his throat. Derek lost himself in the beauty and passion that was exclusively Meredith's. No one else had ever gotten to him on so many levels and so completely. He cruised his lips over the softness of her face, placing little kisses on her cheeks, her eyes, her forehead. "I love you, Mer. I love you," he said before moving his mouth to hers again.

"I love you too," she said around kissing her husband and then going into a little fit of giggles.

"What?" Derek asked, pulling back to study her face with a smile on his own.

"These drugs are great," Meredith said gleefully. "Why was I so resistant to them?"

Derek just laughed. He was more grateful than he was letting on that she had finally opted for the epidural. He was so relieved that she wasn't feeling any of the labor pains anymore. Now, he knew she was having a contraction by watching the monitor rather seeing her in gasping, wretched agony. He gave his own gasp as her small but efficient fingers closed around his thigh, very close to his groin. When that part of his anatomy involuntarily jumped in anticipation, Derek placed his hand over Meredith's.

Of course, she just laughed and nudged his hand away to continue massaging his thigh. Then Meredith ran her fingers along Derek's penis - now straining at his pants - and he grabbed her hand. "What are you doing?"

"Well duh," she said and rubbed him some more. "I thought I was coming on to you."

"Great," he said and took a deep breath, trying desperately to control himself. "Drug induced horniness."

"Drugs have nothing to do with it. I just want to make out with my husband. I want to make you feel good."

Before he could respond the door opened and the nurse came in to check on Meredith again. Once she was done and the door was shut behind her, Meredith grinned at Derek and said, "Come on."

"Mer," he chuckled, "hospital, labor, no lock on the door, people coming in and out."

"Ahh, but you didn't say you don't want to do it," she giggled. "Come get in bed with me."

He ran his hands over his face. Of all the things he imagined happening today, this was definitely not one of them. He was fighting with himself, because he really did want to get in bed with her, even though the timing was wrong on so many levels. He tried reasoning with her, "You're numb from the waist down."

"You're not," she retorted. "Derek, obviously there can't be any intercourse, but we can still have plenty of fun. At some point today, we are going to have our baby and life as we know it is over. Right now, I don't want to be a huge, fat pregnant woman on the verge of giving birth and being a freaked-out mom. I just want to be a woman. I want to be your wife and do something sexy, fun and a little risky with you."

Derek felt his resolve slip away. He dragged a chair to the door and placed it in front of it to give a warning if anyone arrived. Then he went over and slipped in bed with Meredith after toeing his shoes off. He helped her roll to her side, so they were facing one another. Then he kissed her, softly and tenderly, just lips touching lips and lingering.

Derek untied the back of the plain hospital gown and ran his fingers up and down the soft skin of her lovely back. He pulled the gown down a little and kissed along her shoulder, her collarbone, the hollow in her throat and up to her lips. He trailed his fingers over the path he'd created with his lips and shifted to repeat the process on her other side. Goosebumps of pleasure speared on her skin and she ran her hands over his shoulders and arms. She was lost in the sensations of just being and feeling wholly cherished.

Meredith reached up to flick open the buttons on Derek's shirt and then placed her lips to his warm and exposed skin. As he dipped his head to nuzzle her neck again, she nibbled his earlobe and smiled at his sharp intake of breath. Then he pulled her hospital gown down further and took one of her nipples into his mouth to suck lavishly and greedily. It made her moan out loud and press into the warm heat of him.

"Shh," Derek said and continued his sensual torture.

She didn't care if someone heard them - she really didn't. So, they had a healthy sex life. Wasn't that apparent considering their current situation? She wiggled to make a little room and reached between them to unzip and unbutton his pants. He sprang out, hard, thick and long. The sigh he gave at being released turned to a groan as she wrapped her fingers around him and squeezed then slowly stroked. She kept up with the slow stroking and sweat beads appeared on his forehead along with the sticky beads at the tip of his penis. She rubbed the droplets in a soft massage across the tip and had Derek groaning again. She captured his mouth with hers to muffle the sound that made her feel happy and powerfully feminine at the same time. She wrapped her hand around his thickness and stroked while he thrust. A few moments later, he caught his own orgasm in the tissues he'd absent-mindedly reached for.

When Derek had his breath back to normal, he took a good look at his grinning, beautiful wife and chuckled. "You're pleased with yourself."

"Of course," she nodded. "I got to have my way with you and have your lips and mouth and fingers on me. It's just what I wanted." She stretched a little and yawned as Derek refastened his pants and her hospital gown.

"You should try to sleep."

"Yeah," she agreed and yawned again. She closed her eyes and asked, "Will you stay right here?"

"Of course!" he answered and kissed her lips again. He continued to gently stroke her all over. Lovingly now rather than sexually. It had the effect of relaxing her further and before long she was breathing evenly and getting some much-needed sleep. Feeling very grateful for the woman in his arms - Derek closed his own eyes. And before long - joined her in napping - and the calm before the storm.


	82. The Birth of Ian and Complications

_Chapter 82: The Birth of Ian and Complications_

Derek jumped slightly and awoke to the sound of the chair he'd put in front of the door scraping across the floor. He moved carefully - so as not to wake Meredith and grinned at Mark as he came through the door with a puzzled expression on his face. He held up a finger to Mark then pointed at his sleeping wife, so he'd keep his voice down.

"Sleeping on the job?" Mark joked quietly.

After getting out of the narrow hospital bed, Derek smiled and replied, "And thank God for it. She didn't sleep at all last night and has had a hell of a day. The epidural she finally asked for took away the pain and relaxed her enough to help her sleep."

"Considering that you were just dozing in bed with her - I'm willing to bet you had a hand in helping her relax."

Derek just grinned. No way was he going to tell Mark just how true his statement was. He glanced at the clock and was pleasantly surprised to realize that Meredith had been sleeping soundly for about forty-five minutes. It was nowhere near what she needed but at least it would take the edge off. He hoped so, anyway.

Mark stayed and kept Derek company until Dr. Chu came in to check Meredith again. At that point - he made a hasty retreat.

"She's sleeping," Dr. Chu stated, pleased.

"For an hour now." Derek confirmed.

Dr. Chu glanced at her watch and sighed. "I hate to wake her, but I'd like to check on her progress since she's had the epidural."

Derek woke Meredith up. She answered a few questions for Dr. Chu and then held Derek's hand for the latest examination. At the end of it, Dr. Chu sighed heavily and told Meredith there had been no change.

"None?" Meredith and Derek asked simultaneously.

"None," Dr. Chu confirmed.

"I was at four centimeters nearly two hours ago. And I had the epidural," Meredith protested.

"I know," Dr. Chu said, "but you're just not progressing. I really think the two of you should talk about having the c-section. I believe you're going to end up needing one and I'd rather do it before you or your baby have any complications."

"All right." Derek answered when Meredith said nothing. After Dr. Chu left the room, he went and sat beside her on the edge of the bed again. He took her hand in his but didn't say anything. He didn't want to guess at what she was feeling at the moment, so he'd wait until she told him.

"I'm a doctor," she finally stated.

"You are."

"I am a surgeon," she said with some heat in her voice.

"You are," he repeated.

"You and I both made careers out of surgery; believing that we help when it's necessary."

"Yes."

Tears filled Meredith's eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Instead, she asked, "Then why do I feel like a failure for needing surgery to have our son?"

"Meredith," Derek whispered and pulled her into his arms. "You are not a failure - at anything. What you are, by your own admission, is tired, hungry and cranky. And ready to meet Ian and count his fingers and toes. I'm ready to have him, too. Needing the c-section isn't failure, it's an option." He pulled back to rub her belly and then looked her in the eyes. "Regardless of how you have our baby - you've already done something thoroughly amazing by growing him and carrying him all this time."

She glared at him and he asked, "What?"

"How am I supposed to argue with you after you say something so perfect?"

"I'm not trying to argue with you," he chuckled.

"I know," she said and smiled. Then she sighed and said, "I'm sick of this labor crap. Let's have the c-section and finally hold our child."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"All right."

Dr. Chu came back at 3:15 and they told her they were ready to have the c-section. After that - things seemed to go very quickly as they moved Meredith to an operating room and prepped her for surgery. When Derek came into the O.R. - after putting on all the necessary protective garb - Dr. Chu and her team were ready to deliver Ian.

"Hi." Derek whispered as he kissed Meredith on the lips and then sat in a chair beside her head.

"Hi." she answered and smiled at him.

"Are you okay?"

"It feels really weird being in here as a patient. Especially being awake, knowing she's holding a scalpel and -"

"We're about to meet Ian," Derek interrupted and rubbed her forehead.

"Yeah," she said a little nervously, "but first she has to cut -"

"I think it's time for some oxygen," Derek said and started to get up to get it for her.

"No, no," said the anesthesiologist and put his hand on Derek's shoulder firmly. "Today you're not the doctor," he said nicely. "Just take care of your wife."

Derek sat back down and smiled at Meredith as she grinned at him. He leaned down and kissed her before the oxygen mask was slipped over her face. A few moments later, Derek asked, "Better?"

She nodded her head and closed her eyes because she was feeling relaxed and sleepy again.

"Do you feel this, Meredith?" Dr. Chu asked, testing to make sure Meredith was indeed completely numb and ready to have surgery.

Meredith shook her head no and Derek replied out loud for her.

"Do you want to watch as we deliver your baby?"

Surprisingly, Meredith and Derek both said no.

"Do you want to cut the umbilical cord when the time comes, Daddy?"

"Yes," Derek answered with a grin.

"Okay, we're ready to start," Dr. Chu announced.

To keep her distracted from the surgery, Derek leaned down to Meredith's ear and said, "I love you. You're beautiful and amazing."

She snorted and rolled her eyes, causing him to chuckle.

"Ian's going to have your nose."

"Uh huh," she said around the oxygen mask and nodded her head so vigorously that he laughed.

"He'll have my hair, though."

She rolled her eyes again and Derek continued happily. "I hope he has your exact eyes. I hope he rolls them at you like you do to everyone else."

Meredith giggled, knowing her husband spoke the truth. "Your mouth," she mumbled.

"Yeah," Derek agreed.

"All right," the anesthesiologist interrupted. He tapped Meredith on the shoulder and said, "In a minute you're going to feel a lot of pressure on your chest - like an elephant is sitting on you - but don't be alarmed. That's just Dr. Chu taking your baby out. Okay?"

Meredith nodded and looked Derek in the eyes. He touched her shoulder and kept his gaze to hers even though his heart was pounding. He was praying that the next few minutes flew by without complication. He really, really needed his wife and child to be all right.

"Here we go," Dr. Chu said and a moment later Meredith gasped and her eyes widened before she let out her breath.

The next sound that filled the O.R. was a good strong baby scream. Meredith and Derek looked at one another and grinned as their eyes filled with tears and Dr. Chu said, "Time of Birth: Fifteen forty-one."

Derek got up to cut the umbilical cord and Meredith listened to Ian fuss. She knew that Dr. Chu was starting the process of putting her organs back in place and closing her up.

The neonatal team - which was always present at a c-section - and Derek moved into her line of vision with Ian. She turned her head to watch after the oxygen mask was removed from her face. They quickly made sure her son was all right, weighed him and did his APGAR tests. All the while, Derek took digital pictures with the camera he'd slipped into his pocket. It made her grin - seeing him as the proud Daddy already.

Finally, the neonatal nurse sponged Ian down, put a little knit cap on his head, wrapped him in a blanket and handed him to Derek. Meredith was feeling extremely sleepy and very cold as she watched her husband gently take their newborn son in his arms. He cradled him close and then walked over to Meredith with a complete look of awe on his face.

"Mer," he whispered, holding Ian so he was close to her face, "he's here. Look what you did."

"What we did," she laughed softly and felt her heart constrict with so much love and emotion at finally seeing her son. He had his eyes wide open and even though she knew he couldn't see yet - she felt like he was looking at her soul. "Ian," she said simply.

Derek held him close to her face and Meredith kissed her little boys cheek and tried to see every bit of him at once. "He has your mouth," she said to Derek.

"And your nose," he grinned.

"And no hair," she giggled.

"He has a little strip in the back," Derek chuckled.

"I couldn't see the scale," she said as she started to shake a little. "I'm really cold."

"That's normal," Dr, Chu answered. "I'm just about done closing you up. Then we'll put some warm blankets on you and move you to recovery."

Derek frowned at Dr. Chu as Meredith's body started shaking vigorously. Trying to stay calm, he held Ian closer to him and turned his attention back to his wife. "Mer?"

"Yes?" Her voice was quivery, and her teeth started to chatter.

"Ian weighs seven pounds, nine ounces and he's nineteen inches long."

"Th-that's g-g-great," she said. "Wh-what's wrong w-w-with me?"

"Nothing," Derek said soothingly, holding Ian in one arm and gently stroking Meredith's forehead with the other. Even though he was a little scared himself - he was going to keep Meredith calm.

In the next moment - Meredith closed her eyes and lost consciousness. "What the hell is going on?" Derek asked sharply.

The neonatal nurse took Ian from Derek and put his identification bands on one of his tiny wrists and one tiny ankle.

"Meredith is fine," Dr. Chu answered calmly but assertively.

"She's in shock," Derek snapped, moving his eyes back and forth between his wife and his son. He was feeling very protective.

"She is in a mild shock," Dr. Chu said, standing in front of Derek now that she was done closing Meredith up.

As the same nurse put matching identification bands on Meredith and Derek's wrists - showing that they were Ian's parents - Dr. Chu gave him an explanation. "Meredith had a difficult labor and her body was already weak and tired. Having the surgery on top of that, having your son delivered, sent her body into shock. It's very common but she is going to be all right. Meredith is going to recovery - where I expect she'll wake up in about an hour. You go with Ian to the nursery and we'll let you know as soon as she's conscious."

"All right," he agreed with a nod of his head. He watched as the L&D nurse who had been with them all day wheeled Meredith from the O.R. Then he turned to follow a different nurse pushing his child in the plastic bassinet.

"Derek?"

"Yes," he turned back to Dr. Chu.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you," he replied somberly and turned to go with Ian to the nursery. He believed Dr. Chu that Meredith was all right. And he was pleased that so far Ian was healthy and doing well. However, he had a pit in his stomach, and he knew it wasn't going to disappear until his wife woke up, smiled and held their son for the first time.

* * *

**Thank you everyone for being so patient and understanding with me; knowing the the fact that I am in college. I love all of you! Please continue to read and leave comments?**

**\- Cheyenne**


	83. Is Meredith Alright?

_Chapter 83: Is Meredith Alright?_

Before going into the O.R. for Meredith's c-section - Derek had called Kathleen to let her know what was going on. She called Lexie and Molly - who had stayed together and gone shopping near the hospital. By the time Derek emerged from the nursery, the waiting room was fairly full with family and friends. They all started asking questions at once - or so it seemed.

"Give the man a chance to speak," said Bailey and everyone got quiet fast.

"Meredith is in recovery after having a c-section. Our son is doing very well and about to fall asleep in the nursery. Obviously, his birthday is today - September ninth. He's seven pounds, nine ounces and nineteen inches long." Derek couldn't help but grin as he thought of Meredith's reaction to their adorable baby. "And, to Mer's giggling delight - except for a tiny strip of hair in the back - our son is bald."

As expected, this got a hearty laugh from their family and friends, as well. When the laughter started to subside, the questions began again. "How's Meredith? What's the baby's name? When can we see him? When can we see her?"

Derek's head was spinning. He appreciated and loved all the people firing questions at him. He really did but all he wanted was to check on Ian and Meredith. And stay with his wife until she woke up and he truly knew she was going to be all right.

"Hey, hey," said Kathleen, recognizing her brother's worry.

"Quiet!" Again, Bailey was the one to instantly instill silence.

"Meredith's recovering," Derek said. "When she wakes up, and feels up to visitors - we'll start telling people his name. In the meantime," he said, pulling the digital camera from his pocket and handing it to Kathleen. "Here are pictures of him. And I'm sure it's all right if you want to go to the nursery and look in on him. I'm going to check on Meredith."

Everyone crowded around Kathleen to see the pictures. Except Bailey and Lexie - who followed Derek. They walked up on each side of him. "What's going on with Meredith?" Bailey asked.

"She's recovering."

"Derek," Lexie said and surprised him by grabbing his arm to stop his retreat. "What is going on with my sister? I want more details than 'she's recovering'."

Bailey just raised an eyebrow at him in silent agreement.

He sighed and then replied, "Meredith went into mild shock. According to Dr. Chu it's not uncommon under the circumstances and Mer is going to be fine. It's just," he trailed off with a shake of his head.

"You're scared," Lexie stated softly.

"Yes," he admitted on a ragged sigh and ran a hand over his face. "Yes, I'm scared shitless. Rationally, medically, I know Dr. Chu is right."

"There is no rational, medical training when it's your own wife in there," Bailey said. "Just like Meredith couldn't think like a doctor while in labor - you're not going to think like one until you know your wife is fine and dandy."

Bailey took Derek's hand and squeezed it tightly. "Let us be positive and know that Meredith is going to be all right. We'll drool over the little boy in the nursery and you go sit with your wife until she wakes up and demands to see that child."

"Okay," he said with a nod and a hug for both women who were so dear to him. "Okay," he said again and walked away - toward the recovery room he knew Meredith was in.

"We didn't say congratulations," Lexie muttered, watching Derek leave.

"He doesn't want to hear that yet. Not until everything is well in his world," Bailey stated.

"Yes, you're right."

Bailey just looked at Lexie. Then she smiled and said, "Let's sneak off to the nursery and see that cute bald baby."

"Bald," Lexie laughed. "I bet Mer did get a kick out of that."

* * *

Meredith felt like she was swimming up from a deep, dark place. Why the hell couldn't she feel her body? And why was she so thirsty? She tried to swallow but found it difficult. She wanted to go back to sleep and yet - she didn't really want that.

Ian, Ian! Oh my God - if this is what it feels like after giving birth - screw doing this again!

She tried to open her eyes and it felt like they were glued together. Refusing to give up, she tried again and saw Derek sitting beside her. Then she became aware that he was holding her hand tightly. "Derek," she whispered and finally, slowly opened her eyes all the way.

"Meredith," he said, relieved that she was finally waking up. He stood up and then leaned down to kiss her very softly on the lips. "Are you all right?"

"Ian?"

"He's great," Derek answered, gently running his thumb along her cheek, tears crowding the corners of his eyes. "He's healthy and adorable."

"And bald," she said and tried to smile.

"And bald," Derek chuckled. "Meredith? How do you feel?"

"Tired, thirsty," she rasped, "but I want to see our baby."

"You will, soon, Here, drink this," he said and held a cup with water and a straw to her lips. She drank slowly, knowing it was the smart thing to do, but drank until her throat stopped hurting.

Just then, the nurse stepped up to examine Meredith. After a few minutes, she wrote a few things in Mer's chart and said she'd have Dr. Chu come right in. After she left, Derek immediately grabbed the chart to read it himself.

"No patience," Meredith teased.

"Damn right," he said with a nod, "when it comes to my wife and our son."

"Our son," she said and smiled. "I want to see him."

"Soon," Derek said again and grinned at her as he shut and replaced her chart. He was finally satisfied that Meredith was going to be all right.

"Now," Meredith demanded. "Derek, go get our son."

Derek grinned and then leaned over to kiss his wife again. This time - a little more passionately. When he pulled back from her lips, he said, "I love you, Meredith Shepherd. I will be more than happy to get Ian for you as soon as Dr. Chu clears you."

"I love you. And I'm fine or you wouldn't be grinning after looking at my chart."

Before Derek could reply, Dr. Chu came in and gave Meredith another examination. A few minutes later she said, "You're doing great, but you are going to need to stay in the hospital for a few days. Three to five days is common after a c-section and you'll be in one of our postpartum suites."

"Yeah," Derek grinned. "Meredith made sure we knew the drill two months ago."

Dr. Chu smiled at Meredith and said, "Let's get you moved so you can see your baby."

"Yes please," Meredith agreed.

"I'm going to have her moved to suite 708 if you want to get your baby and meet us in there," Dr. Chu said to Derek.

He leaned down and kissed Meredith and they smiled at one another. "See you in a few minutes," he said.

"All right," she grinned. "Hurry."

"Bossy," Derek chuckled as he left the recovery room to get Ian from the nursery.


	84. Mommy Meets Ian

_Chapter 84: Mommy Meets Ian_

When Derek walked up to the nursery, Kathleen and David were gazing through the window. He went to stand beside them and said, "I'm taking him to meet his Mommy."

"Oh," Kathleen said, startled from admiring her new nephew. "She's awake?"

"Yes," Derek grinned and nodded toward Ian, "and being very bossy and demanding about seeing him."

David just laughed while Kathleen replied, "Of course she's demanding to see him. That baby is the culmination of the past -"

Derek cut her off by hugging her tightly to him and saying, "I love you, Kathleen."

"Well," she said, flustered and teary-eyed. She handed him his camera and said, "Get your son and take him to his mom. We'll tell everyone Meredith is all right."

Derek pulled his credit card out of his wallet and tried to give it to Kathleen as he said, "Could you take everyone in the waiting room to dinner? I really want Meredith to have a good chunk of quiet and quality time while she meets I - er, our son."

"You were about to say his name," Kathleen huffed. "Of course, we'll drag everyone to dinner but don't insult us by handing off your credit card."

"Thank you," he said and started to walk into the nursery.

"Derek?"

He turned back to Kathleen and she continued speaking, "I'm your sister. I'm sure Meredith wouldn't mind you telling me his name."

"Ian Christopher," he said after pausing for a brief moment.

"Oh," she sighed, and her eyes filled with happy tears again. "After Dad."

"Yes," Derek nodded. "Be careful not to say his name at dinner, though. I'm sure Meredith wants to tell her own sisters."

Kathleen smiled and stuck her tongue at her brother. Derek just laughed as he stepped into the nursery. He stopped to speak with the nurse on duty and show her his identification band. She checked his against Ian's before clearing Derek to take the infant from the nursery.

As Derek wheeled Ian down the hall in his plastic bassinet - his son started stirring in his sleep.

"Hey Ian," Derek said, "I'm taking you to meet Mommy. Of course, you know who she is since you've been in her tummy all this time, but now you get to feel one of her amazing hugs."

When Derek walked into their postpartum suite another nurse was helping Meredith get situated in bed. As soon as she saw him - Meredith grinned at him and immediately leaned to look inside the bassinet.

"If you're feeling all right," began the nurse with a smile, "I'll come back a little later."

"I'm fine," Meredith replied, distracted as she watched Derek take Ian from his bassinet and cradle him close. Then he walked carefully to Meredith's bed and grinned at her again.

"Mer," he said, sounding reverent and placing Ian in her outstretched arms, "can you believe we did this? Ian, this is your Mommy."

"Wow," Meredith whispered as she held him to her and stared at their son. She grinned and felt like her heart was going to pound out of her chest with love for this tiny boy. "Derek," she said and looked up at him as she started giggling. She realized he was taking pictures and reached for him. "Come here."

Derek put the camera away and sat on the bed - close to his wife and child. Meredith reached over and laced her fingers with Derek's and held tightly. "He's amazing."

"He is," Derek agreed.

"Daddy."

"Mommy."

They looked at one another and just started laughing. And then, even while she was still laughing, tears stated rolling down Meredith's cheeks.

"Hey," Derek said softly and let go of her hand to pull her and Ian close to him.

"I'm all right," Meredith said a few moments later, brushing her tears away and leaning down to kiss Ian's cheeks. "It's just so amazing that he's finally here. He's so beautiful." She frowned a little and looked at Derek. "A boy can be beautiful, right?"

"Of course," he chuckled and leaned into kiss Mer on the lips. "Thank you for our son, Mer."

"You're welcome," Meredith sighed and gave a little yawn. "Does he have all his fingers and toes? I want to count them but he's so snug in his blanket and sleeping sweetly." She frowned again and didn't give Derek a chance to say anything. "Do you suppose he's all right? Shouldn't he be hungry? Maybe we should wake him and get him started on the breast. What?" She asked as Derek chuckled again.

"I knew you'd be a natural as a Mommy."

"How am I a natural? I suddenly feel neurotic," she smiled at Derek and yawned again. "I'm sure he is fine. He's so cute!"

"He had an ounce-and-a-half of formula in the nursery while you were in recovery. He'll sleep for a bit and then want to eat again - I'm sure."

"Oh, all right," she said and ran her fingertip down Ian's nose. "He looks like you."

"I was thinking he looks like you," Derek said and reached out to touch his sons cheek. "He has a tiny strawberry birth mark on the back of his neck. It's exactly like yours - even in the same spot."

Meredith tore her gaze from her sons perfect little face and stared at her husband.

"What?" Derek asked with a smile at his wife.

"The birthmark on the back of my neck is small."

"Yes," Derek grinned. "I noticed it yesterday. In fact," he said and leaned forward to tilt and turn her neck. "I want to kiss it," he said and did just that.

Meredith sighed at the warmth of her husband's lips but refused to be deterred. "Derek," she said and pulled his face back to look at her. "You can see the detail of a tiny birthmark on Ian and I."

* * *

_Meredith sighed at the warmth of her husband's lips but refused to be deterred. "Derek," she said and pulled his face back to look at her. "You can see the detail of a tiny birthmark on Ian and I."_

For a moment, he just smiled at her but then he blinked and looked around the room. He got up and moved to look out the window - where he stared silently for several moments before turning back to Meredith and Ian. He just looked at them in complete awe as his heart tripped all over itself in his chest. He was still amazed that he had Meredith in his life and now they had their perfect little son together. That was a huge gift in itself - one that he'd never take for granted. And now, he sighed and grinned hugely.

"Derek?"

He stayed by the window as he said, "Mer, you have freckles. Just a smattering across your nose and cheeks but they're adorable." He moved his gaze a little further across the room to Ian's bassinet and read, "It's a Boy. Baby Boy Shepherd, Born: Fifteen forty-one. OB: Chu. Ped. Sullivan." He walked back to Meredith's bedside and said, "Dr. Sullivan. I forgot her name - which I know is crazy since we interviewed her and chose her to be Ian's pediatrician but damn if I could remember her name."

Meredith, who had tears free-falling down her cheeks again, grabbed Derek's hand and pulled him down to the bed and toward her. She gave him a loud, smacking kiss on the lips and then laughed. "Who cares that you spaced her name! You can see! And not just a little. You stood across the room and read Ian's plaque!"

"And saw your freckles," he said with a laugh and ran his thumb across them.

Still holding his hand tightly, she looked at her son and said, "Ian, Daddy can see!" Then she looked at Derek and asked, "Why didn't you tell me you could see?"

"I didn't realize until now that I could see so clearly."

"What? Come on," she said a little disbelief in her voice.

"It's true," Derek chuckled. "A couple of days ago, I thought maybe my vision was a little clearer, but didn't say anything because I figured it really wasn't. That it was just wishful thinking on my part. Then you went into labor and believe it or not," he chuckled again and leaned in to kiss her. "I was completely focused on you."

She rolled her eyes and laughed when he did. Then she said, "You said you saw my birthmark yesterday."

"I did but again didn't think much of it. I was sitting right next to you and assumed that was why the clarity was there. Mer, do you really think I would intentionally not tell you my vision had improved?"

"Of course not," she replied immediately. "I'm just trying to figure out when it happened."

Derek nodded and said, "I think it's been gradual, but the clarity came today sometime."

"Wow," she sighed and looked between the two most important people in her life. She kissed Ian's soft cheeks again and whispered, "I didn't think today could get any more perfect."

At that moment, Ian started stirring and making high-pitched baby sounds. He wasn't crying but he was definitely letting them know he needed something.

"Hi Ian," Meredith said with a grin. "We're so glad you're finally here."

He wiggled a little more and did start to cry a little. Meredith looked at Derek and asked, "Do you think he's hungry now?"

"Probably," Derek grinned. "Offer him your breast and see what he does."

"Umm," Meredith hesitated and frowned a little. "Just like that? Just stick the nipple in his mouth?"

"Mer," Derek said and forced himself not to laugh. "You read the stuff about breast feeding. What did it say?"

"I can't remember the details," she replied and sounded like she might cry.

His humor fading in the face of his wife's distress, Derek said, "Let's ask for the Lactation Consultant."

"No," Meredith said with a shake of her head. "I want to try it on my own first."

They looked at Ian as he began to cry a little louder and burrow his face into Meredith. "Okay," she said and took a deep breath, "he's got to be hungry."

"Well, come on, whip it out," Derek teased.

Meredith laughed and rolled her eyes at her husband. She handed Ian to Derek and said, "You saying that, makes me definitely believe you and Mark are best friends."

Ian started wailing when Derek took him while Meredith untied the hospital gown. He grinned and said, "Our boy has healthy lungs. If you don't hurry up and give him the boob, he may just split our eardrums."

"Smart ass," Meredith mumbled and took Ian back from Derek. She put his mouth near her breast. "I remember something about this," she said and rubbed her nipple across his lips. Suddenly, Ian stopped wailing and latched onto her nipple and began sucking with gusto. "Oh wow," she whispered and started crying again.

"What? What?" Derek asked, a little alarmed. "Does it hurt?" he reached for Ian. "Should I take him and get a bottle?"

"No," Meredith shook her head. A few moments later, she said, "It feels a little strange, but it doesn't hurt. I just can't believe I'm feeding our son, that's all. And he took right to this. I know I read that a lot of babies have a hard time with breast feeding at first - a learning curve."

"Well obviously, he's a genius," Derek said with pride and stroked his sons cheek. "He is our kid."

"Yeah," Meredith said and giggled. She also yawned again and shut her eyes."

"You're tired."

"I am."

"We don't have to have visitors tonight."

"Yeah right," she smiled and opened her eyes again. "No, we'll say hi to everyone and introduce Ian. Let them stay for a bit and then tell them to come back tomorrow."

"All right but, umm," he trailed off.

"What?"

"I already told Kathleen and David his name. They were at the nursery when I went to get Ian."

"That's fine," Meredith grinned. "How did Kathleen feel about Christopher being his middle name?"

"She got choked up and knew it was after our Dad."

"Good," Meredith said with a nod and closed her eyes again. "Does anyone else know his name? Other than Miranda, I mean. I let it slip to her, remember?"

"I remember," Derek chuckled, "and no, I don't think anyone else knows."

Ian popped off the breast and started to doze off in his Mommy's arms again. "Shouldn't he drink from the other side?" Meredith asked.

"I think so," Derek said and reached for Ian. "Let me change his diaper and burp him first, though."

"All right," Meredith said and smiled as Derek took their little boy from her. She readjusted her gown and watched as Derek gently laid Ian in the bassinet and opened the drawer under it for a clean diaper. She shut her eyes again.

"Hey Mer," Derek said after opening the blanket, "see, he does have all his toes." When she didn't respond he glanced over at her and saw that she'd fallen immediately to sleep. He covered Ian with the blanket and said, "Be right back, little guy."

He went and adjusted Meredith's bed, so she was laying down flat. Then he kissed her softly on the mouth and said, "I love you." He grinned when she didn't say a word in response. He was glad she was going to get some more rest before people started visiting.


	85. Visitors

_Chapter 85: Visitors_

Derek finished changing Ian and then did his best to wrap the blanket around him the way it had been. "It's just a blanket," he mumbled. "How hard can this be?" A few tries later, he sighed and simply wrapped the blanket as snugly around Ian as possible. Then he cradled his son in his arms and sat in the chair next to Meredith's bed. He alternated between watching his son and wife sleep. He was in complete awe of them both. He couldn't believe how lucky and content he felt. He was totally unaware of time passing and was surprised by a knock on the door and then it slowly opened to reveal his sister.

"Hello?" she called quietly.

"Hi," Derek replied. "Come in here. That was a quick dinner."

"Quick?" Kathleen chuckled. "We've been gone for two hours. Believe me when I say it was difficult keeping everyone away that long."

"Has it been that long?" Derek asked in surprise. At Kathleen's nod he asked, "Is everyone in the waiting room again?"

"Yes," she answered, standing next to her brother and gazing lovingly at her nephew. "We understand if you just aren't up for visitors yet, though."

"Sure you do," Meredith said sleepily and with a little laugh from her bed.

"Hi Meredith," Kathleen said and went to kiss her sister-in-law on the cheek. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"You didn't," Meredith stated as she pushed the button on the side of her bed to raise herself to a sitting position. "You're standing there practically drooling love on Ian. You'd be crushed if we sent you home without holding him."

Kathleen grinned and said, "I love his name and no," she said, glancing at Derek, "David and I didn't tell anyone else. I really do want to hold Ian."

Derek and Meredith shared a smile and watched intently, protectively as Kathleen leaned over Derek and took Ian from him. Then Derek got up quickly and nudged his sister, "Sit down and be careful of his neck."

Kathleen laughed but sat down anyway. She said, "I have dealt with newborns. I'm sure you remember my kids, your niece and nephew."

"Yeah," Derek grinned and stepped back from his sister. He went to Meredith and kissed her. "How do you feel? Do you need anything?"

She just looked at him and gave a small shake of her head. He knew better though and sat on the side of her bed. Derek held her hand and leaned in close to whisper, "Remember what Cristina said? There's no need to act like a Superwoman."

Meredith actually smiled at him and said, "You're really using my friend's words on me?"

"Is it working?"

"Yes," she sighed and replied quietly, "I'm in some pain - a three close to a four. I'm itchy, really thirsty and hungry. I know solid food is out for the time being, though."

He handed her a cup of ice water and replied, "I'll talk to the nurse about pain meds and Benadryl. I'm sure they'll be bringing you some soup broth and Jello soon. Meredith, we don't have to have visitors tonight."

"Right," she said and actually giggled a little. "Let everyone come in and see Ian. I'd feel really bad if we didn't but," she trailed off.

"Not for long," Derek finished.

"Thank you," Meredith said and got teary-eyed.

"Hey," Derek said, pulling her gently into his arms. He kissed her cheek and continued to whisper in her ear, "It's okay, Mer. I'll take care of everything."

Just then, Ian started fussing again. Meredith immediately, instinctively reached out for him. Kathleen grinned and got up to hand her nephew to his mommy. Once he was in Meredith's arms - Ian nuzzled into her and calmed down.

"He knows you already." Kathleen stated. Then she leaned down and kissed Meredith's cheek again. "I love that his middle name is Christopher." Then she reached out to grab Derek's hand and looked between him and Meredith holding Ian. "You're a beautiful family. Congratulations," she said and hugged Derek. "I'm getting David and going home to our kids. He saw Ian through the nursery and won't mind skipping the congratulatory chaos. Oh, that sounded -"

"Like the truth," Meredith interrupted. "Thank you," she said and leaned down to kiss and cuddle her son closer.

Derek stepped over to Meredith and Ian and said, "I'll be right back."

"Okay."

Derek walked out of the room with Kathleen. After stopping at the nurses station to request medication for Meredith - he walked with his sister toward the waiting room.

"Be nice."

"What?" he asked his sister, slightly confused.

"To everyone in the waiting room," she clarified. "I know you'd prefer they all go home -"

"Kathleen," he said and stopped to rub his tired eyes. "I'm not an idiot lacking in social skills."

"No, you're a man totally in love with his wife and brand-new child. If you had your way, you'd keep everyone away from them for the next two months."

"That's a bit of an exaggeration," Derek said and couldn't help but laugh. "You're right though, I would prefer everyone just let Meredith rest tonight. At the same time, I know that would be really crappy because they all want to see her and Ian."

"And you."

Derek waved that off with a slightly annoyed scowl, causing his sister to laugh at him again. They walked into the waiting room and were immediately surrounded by family and friends. He said goodbye to Kathleen and David and then agreed that everyone could go and see Meredith and the baby. He also made sure they knew Mer was tired and the visits should be short. They all said okay, but also seemed to be placating him. Little did they know that he intended to kick every last person out in an hour - sooner if he thought Mer or Ian needed it.

So, it went - family and friends taking turns going in to see Meredith and Ian with Derek keeping a close eye on how they were feeling. Everyone loved Ian's name. Lexie laughed and said, "Ian was one of the names I put on my list while trying to guess after you almost slipped a while back. I never guessed at his middle name, though."

"Christopher is Derek's dad," Meredith supplied the information for her sisters.

"Ian Christopher Shepherd," Molly said. "It's a strong name. It sounds like the name of a doctor," she laughed.

"If he wants to be one," Meredith shrugged and looked at Derek with a smile. She was so tired but itching to hold her baby again. It was really hard sharing him with anyone but Derek right now. The more people who came to visit and hold him - the more she felt that way. It had only been about fifty minutes since Kathleen left and the visiting started but suddenly, she just couldn't take anymore. Meredith gave Derek a slightly pleading look and hoped he'd understand how she was feeling. Thankfully, he did and gracefully cleared the room and sat down on her bed - holding their son.

"Thank you," she sighed and leaned her head back to close her eyes. "I just couldn't take it anymore."

"You're welcome," Derek said and kissed her on the lips before getting up to check Ian's diaper. "They only had ten minutes left anyway."

"What?" she asked and opened her eyes to smile at the sight of him changing their son.

"Visiting time was only going to be an hour tonight."

"All along?" she laughed.

"Yes," he said seriously. "You need your rest and we need our family time." Ian let out a serious cry as Derek was finished changing his diaper and trying to wrap the blanket again.

"He's probably hungry." Meredith said.

Derek agreed and gave their tiny boy to her. He latched right on to her breast - the same as he did the first time - and started sucking happily, content to be in a dry diaper and in his mommy's arms.

Since Meredith couldn't get up or move around yet - and she wanted Derek to get some decent sleep, too - they decided Ian should sleep in the nursery for the night. And be brought into her for his feedings. They assumed she'd be feeling a little better and able to move around a bit by the second night. So that was when they'd start the rooming-in. Within moments of Ian going to the nursery, Meredith was asleep. Derek laid awake for a little while on the little pullout bed - thinking about the amazing fact that their son had arrived. And how much he really disliked sleeping separate from his wife.


	86. Sapphires

_Chapter 86: Sapphires_

The day after having Ian, Meredith was able to get up and walk around a little - with assistance from Derek. It was a strange feeling to walk around slightly hunched over and with tiny, almost shuffling steps but it couldn't be helped. Her incision was still new and - even though she was getting pain medication - very tender. She fed, held, and admired Ian. She counted his fingers and toes. She took his little knit cap off and ran her fingers over his smooth, bald head and laughed as Derek rolled his eyes at her.

"You've picked up my eye rolling habit."

"Have not," he mumbled and turned from her to hide his smile.

"He has," Meredith loudly whispered to Ian. "Daddy rolled his eyes at me for admiring your cute little bald head. Really, he's just miffed because you don't have a head full of perfect hair like him."

"Hey," Derek protested and came over to sit with Meredith and Ian. He reached out and ran his fingers along his sons head and said, "Mommy's just teasing. I love you no matter what. I don't care that you came out mostly bald."

Meredith giggled and carefully sat Ian up to lean across her forearm. She kissed the soft hair on the back of his head. "You have a hair spot instead of a bald spot."

"Meredith," Derek sighed and made her laugh hard. She immediately gasped in pain and stopped laughing. Derek put his hand over Meredith's on Ian's back to offer a little extra support. The teasing playfulness went out of him at seeing her face pale in pain. "Do you want me to take him?"

She nodded her head yes and took a very careful, deep breath. A moment later she said, "Okay, I have to be careful about laughing too much on top of everything else. And I'm tired again, which is really irritating, by the way."

"I wonder why," he said. "Do you think maybe sixteen-and-a-half hours of labor, major surgery, hormone drops, breast-feeding and too many visitors might have anything to do with your exhaustion?"

"Smart ass," she said and smiled at him, grateful for him on so many levels. He was standing up with Ian after putting the little cap back on his head and wrapping him in the blanket. "Why haven't you mentioned your improved eyesight to anyone?"

Derek looked from Ian to Meredith and said, "There's plenty of time for that. Everything is about Ian and you right now. That's how it should be - that's how I want it."

"Okay," she agreed, "but promise me you'll let Webber or Livingston examine you soon."

"Yes," he replied, "before we take Ian home. I have something for you."

"Really?" she asked, unable to keep from smiling at him as he put Ian back in the bassinette. Then he went to his bag and pulled out a tiny box, wrapped in white paper. "What's that?"

He handed her the little box and then picked Ian up again. Then Derek and Ian sat on the edge of Meredith's bed again. "Open it."

Meredith smiled, unwrapped the paper from the small box and opened the top. "Oh," she sighed and then giggled a little. "It's beautiful, Derek." Nestled inside the box was a twenty-four-carat gold flip flop pendant, encrusted with dark blue sapphires and diamonds

"I wanted you to have something," he told her, "but other than your wedding rings - you're not really a jewelry person. That seemed like it'd suit you perfectly, though."

"Sapphires," she said and looked at her husband and child. "Ian's birthstone."

Derek handed Ian to Meredith and took the box from her. He removed the pendant from the box - which was attached to a matching gold chain - and clasped it around her neck. Then he leaned down to kiss her quickly, but Meredith had another idea and put her free hand on the back of his head to hold him in place. She put her heart into kissing him and he returned her enthusiasm. When she pulled away, she smiled and said, "Thank you, it really is beautiful."

"You're welcome," he sighed and sat back down to hold Ian with her. "We're a family."

"We are," she replied, a little teary eyes. She reached up to touch her necklace and asked, "When did you get this?"

"After we got back from Maui," he grinned. "Lexie helped me pick it out at the same store where I got your engagement ring."

"What if Ian had been born in August or even July?" she asked teasingly.

"Now who's being a smart ass?" he laughed. "For your information, the jeweler had the pendant ready with the diamonds set-in but not the sapphires. They were waiting to hear from me about his birth. I called on September first when it became obvious that sapphires were the only choice."

Meredith leaned down to Ian and kissed him then said, "That's your Daddy - always thinking ahead."

"That's right," Derek nodded seriously but with a smile for his little family. "I've even got all the information for us to start his college account."

Meredith laughed but did so carefully. She grabbed Derek's hand and said, "Have I told you today that I love you and Ian?"

"Yes," Derek grinned, "and I love you both, too."


	87. What If I Lose My Sight Again?

_Chapter 87: What If I Lose My Sight Again?_

The day they took Ian home was bright and sunny - unusual for Seattle, but so perfect for the little Shepherd family. Meredith was still moving very cautiously and tired easily. Kathleen had driven them home and after she left - Derek insisted that Mer lie down and rest.

"All right," she agreed with a grateful sigh. "I'd like to know what happened when Dr. Livingston examined you this morning."

"Nothing out of the ordinary," Derek replied and helped her get into bed. Then he checked on Ian - who was sleeping soundly in his bassinette on Derek's side of the bed.

"What kind of answer is that?"

"There's nothing to worry about, Mer."

"Fine," she said and gave him a pointed look, "then there's no reason for you not to tell me about it."

Giving up, he grinned and got in bed with her. It felt good to be able to lie in bed together again. He was very careful not to bump her, though. "Livingston ran the usual tests, and everything came up clear. There is a small amount of scar tissue, but we knew there would be. It appears as though my optic nerve is intact and working fine."

"Was there ever a problem with it? I know the tumor was located on the optic nerve but was it ever actually not intact?"

"No."

They were looking at one another and she smiled at him now. "So, what you're saying, and perhaps having a little trouble with, is that you having the clear vision you do is a miracle?"

"Maybe."

"What do you mean, 'maybe'? Is there a medical explanation for your vastly improved, seemingly near-perfect vision?"

"Nothing conclusive but Livingston thinks my improved vision may relate to the removal of the scar tissue."

"To some degree," Meredith agreed with a nod, "but the lack of scar tissue has nothing to do with the extreme, marked improvement."

"No," Derek finally agreed, "it doesn't." He laced his fingers with hers and brought their joined hands up so he could kiss the back of her hand. Then he moved his head closer and kissed her on the lips. When they parted, Meredith had a soft smile on her face. Smiling back at her, he asked, "What?"

"Miracle," she said confidently.

"Maybe," he replied hesitantly, frowning just a little.

She mirrored his frown and stated, "Derek, there's no scientific reason for your improvement. Why are you having trouble accepting a miracle for yourself? We've both seen plenty of them in our careers."

He let go of her hand and heaved an irritated sigh. "Yes, we've both seen plenty of anomalies that we classify as miracles. How do we know the so-called miracles aren't neurological science, though? We only understand about ten percent of the brain."

To say Meredith was shocked by this turn in the conversation would be an understatement. She was even more shocked a moment later when he got up and started walking toward their bedroom door. "Derek?"

When he ignored her and just left their room, she lay there for a few stunned moments. "What the hell?" she whispered and pushed herself to her elbows. Then, as she pushed herself to sit up all the way and rotate so her feet were on the floor, she started swearing under her breath. Unfortunately, she was having a lot of pain at the moment, but she wasn't going to let her husband walk away from her in a fit of irritation that made no sense to her. "Stupid ass man," she mumbled as she was hit with another wave of pain upon standing up.

With slow, shuffling steps she made her way out to their kitchen where she found Derek. He had his back to her, grabbing things from the refrigerator. "What the hell is your problem?" she snapped.

"Meredith," he snapped back, turning to throw turkey and cheese onto the counter. He took one look at her and knew she was in pain. "Damn it," he said, "sit down before you fall down."

She just glared at him. And even though she did want to sit down, and quite possibly vomit, she wasn't going to do what he told her.

Derek gave her a small, reluctant smile and said, "You're a stubborn woman."

"You're an annoying man," she retorted, annoyed that her voice quivered, and her eyes filled with tears.

He poured her a glass of water and got a pain pill from the prescription bottle and walked over to hand it to her. "Please take this," he said patiently, knowing that being demanding wasn't going to get him anywhere with her.

She took the medicine and drank it down with about half the water. She was glad that her tears had receded. "I need to sit down," she admitted.

Derek helped her get comfortable on the couch, carefully propping her legs up on the coffee table. He looked at her and didn't like that she was still so pale. He rubbed her cheek with his thumb and gathered a chunk of her hair in his hand to let it fall between his fingers. He loved seeing the way the light made her hair look like three shades of gold.

"I'm sorry," Meredith whispered and pulled his attention back to her expressive eyes.

"No," he sighed and sat beside her on the couch. "I'm sorry, Mer. I'm being an ass and you don't deserve that."

They both had their heads laying on the back of the couch, looking at one another. She reached up to play with the sapphire and diamond, flip flop pendant he'd given her. "I didn't know you don't believe in miracles."

He just looked at her for several long, silent moments. His eyes were filled with anguish and it scared her a little. "I do," he finally whispered. "I do believe in miracles, Mer. How can I hold our son and not believe in miracles?"

"Then what's wrong?" she asked. "Why are you so angry at my suggestion that your sight is a miracle?"

He leaned forward, put his elbows on his thighs and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. Meredith reached out and rubbed his back but didn't say anything else. Her heart twisted in pain for him when he finally turned back to her and said, "If my returned vision is some kind of miracle, rather than something medical and based in science then it could just as easily be taken again."

She wanted to say that that wasn't going to happen. She didn't though, because she understood that right now, Derek needed some tangibility to believe in and that came from the science he'd built his career on. So, she kept quiet and vowed to believe enough for both of them. She watched as Derek got up to pace in front of her. And she listened as he vented. "Of course, Richard knew about the testing. It's damn near impossible to piss in that surgical wing without him knowing about it. He's ecstatic about my returned sight. Of course, he immediately starts in about me cutting again and what kind of work you and I can do together. We'll be in medical journals, he said. He doesn't ask me if I want to cut again; he just assumes I will. I had to tell him that he's getting way ahead of himself. I told him you and I just had Ian and we're concentrating on him right now."

"I'm sure he loved that," Meredith said, unable to keep from smiling just a bit. As much as she respected Richard Webber, he really could be an overbearing bull-in-a-China-shop.

Derek stopped pacing and smiled at Meredith. He wondered why he'd fought himself about talking to her about this. Dumb moment, he decided. She had such a calm and accepting way about her. "I love you."

"Even when I'm stubborn?"

"Yes," he grinned.

"Good," she giggled. "I love you, too."

"Even when I'm an annoying ass?"

"Yeah," she sighed dramatically, "even then."

Derek chuckled and then sat on the coffee table, so he was facing her. He started massaging her calves and she sighed in appreciation. "Mer?"

"Yes?"

"It's not that I don't want to work closely with you or make medical history with you, but I'm not sure if I want to cut again."

She opened her eyes that she'd closed in relaxation and looked into his beautiful, clear blue eyes and simply said, "Okay."

"Okay?" he chuckled.

"Yes, okay."

"You don't expect me to cut now that I can see again?"

She reached forward and grabbed his hand and pulled. He sat next to her on the couch again. He put his arm around her, and she put her head on his shoulder. Then she answered, "All I expect from you is that you continue to be a great husband. And I expect you to be a great Dad. I hope you'll be happy with us for the rest of your life. Even when we're being stubborn, emotional, demanding or annoying. If you want to operate again, you will and if you don't," she shrugged. "I'm extremely happy for you that you've regained your sight Derek, but it doesn't change who you are to me."

His eyes filled with love and emotion, he asked, "And if I do lose my sight again?"

Meredith touched his face, much as he would touch hers and said, "I believe you'll keep your sight but," she paused and gave a little shrug. "If you don't, we'll readjust, Derek."

He nodded and had to blink to keep from crying. "I would hate losing my sight again. I thought it was bad not being able to see you before but if I lose my sight again - it'll feel like torture not being able to see you and Ian. I know you're right though Mer, we'd adjust and deal, continue to love and get through it."

She couldn't help the fact that she was crying now, too. They sat on the couch for a while just holding one another in silence. Ian started crying and Derek helped Meredith into their bed to lie down and breastfeed him. He went to the kitchen and made then both food also. He was afraid of losing his sight but felt better having talked to Meredith about it. He absolutely did believe in the life they had together and knew they'd get through anything. He finally pushed his fear aside and went in to be with Mer and Ian. Their family is what mattered most - everything else was secondary.


	88. The Seventh Sense is Love

_Chapter 88: The Seventh Sense of Love_

Derek awoke to Ian's crying and Meredith trying to get up and get him. He reached over and ran his fingers down her arm. "Get comfortable," he said sleepily. "I'll get him."

Meredith smiled gratefully at her wonderful husband. She watched as he got out of bed and picked their tiny boy up from his bassinette. He cradled him close and spoke softly to him. Derek walked with Ian toward their bedroom door and said, "We'll be back after a diaper change, Mommy."

She smiled and closed her eyes - hoping for a few more minutes of sleep before starting the day. Ian was one week old, and it felt like they were already starting to establish a family routine. She could hear Derek speaking faintly to their son in the nursery next door to their room. She got up and went to see her boys. Meredith stopped in the doorway as she heard Derek say to Ian, "Mommy's the best. You know we are very lucky to have her."

Ian kicked his feet and made the most adorable little cooing sound. Meredith's heart literally felt like it was going to burst with all the love she felt for both of them. She must have made her own little sound because Derek turned and smiled at her. "I thought you were staying in bed. Hey," he said as tears started leaking from her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. He picked up Ian - freshly diapered and zipped back into his pajamas - and walked over to Meredith. Derek pulled her to him with his free arm and kissed her head. "What's wrong?"

Meredith shook her head and mumbled around her tears, "Nothing."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I love you," she replied, and felt like she was going to cry even more. "Both of you, so much," she said and kissed Ian's cheek. Then she did indeed start crying even harder - so much so that she couldn't even talk now.

Derek just held her close and smiled so she couldn't see him. He'd been prepared for something like this. He absolutely believed that Meredith loved him and Ian - just as she said - but her hormonal levels were also all over the place. Plus, Kathleen and Molly had warned him to expect extreme emotions from her. "Come on, let's lie down for a while longer," he said and turned her gently toward their room. This made her cry a little more. And Ian chose that moment to start squirming in Derek's other arm. Then he opened his mouth and started wailing right along with his Mommy. Oh crap, Derek thought. This, he hadn't been expecting. He got Meredith and Ian into their bed and tried to get him to have some breast milk, but he wasn't having it. The more Meredith cried; the more Ian cried. Neither seemed to be calming down. In fact, he thought it was getting worse. Part of him thought this should be comical but it really wasn't. It was heart breaking.

"Mer," Derek asked softly, "what do you need? What can I do for you?"

She held up her palms and tried to answer, "D - don't know," she sobbed, trying to catch her breath, to no avail. "C-c-can't s-stop."

"Okay, all right," Derek said and rubbed her back. Then he picked Ian up from the bed and said, "I'll just calm him down."

Meredith shook her head yes but as soon as Derek moved Ian from her - their little baby wailed louder. "Hey, hey Ian, it's okay," Derek said as he put him up on his shoulder and patted his back. "Mommy's going to be all right. She's just going through a girl thing."

She scowled at him and he said to Ian, "Scratch that last part, Sport. Daddy was only teasing. Sorry Mommy, bad time for a bad joke."

For the next half-hour Derek did everything he could think of to calm Meredith and Ian down, but nothing was working. Ian was a little calmer when Meredith was holding him but they both just laid on the bed and cried. Finally, feeling a bit freaked out, Derek went into the kitchen with his phone and made a call. He felt bad because it was only seven in the morning, but he needed help.

"Good morning Derek," his sister answered pleasantly.

"They won't stop crying," he said immediately.

"Meredith and Ian?"

"No, Bonnie and Clyde," he snapped and then sighed. "Sorry. Just - what do I do, Kathleen?"

"I told you Meredith was going to have emotional extremes. You just have to let her go through it."

"What about Ian? He's been crying right along with her. I tried to hold him and calm him down, but he gets more upset when I move him from Meredith."

"Well, he's been right with her for nine-and-a-half months. He's used to feeling her emotions. Just do your best to calm them down but if you can't Derek, don't beat yourself up. You're not doing anything wrong. They're just feeding off of one another. How long have they been crying."

"Thirty minutes but it feels like -"

"Hours," brother and sister said simultaneously. "Yeah," Derek said with a heavy sigh. "This is heart wrenching."

"I know," Kathleen said and smiled, knowing how much her brother loved his family. "If they haven't started calming down in another half hour, call me back."

"All right," he said, still feeling helpless. He hung up with Kathleen and went back into Meredith and Ian. They were still crying but it did seem like it might be a little less. At a complete loss at what to try now - he climbed into bed and spooned Meredith. He wrapped his arms around her and felt grateful when she moved closer to him. He reached out one of his hands and rubbed Ian's tummy. After a few more minutes Meredith finally stopped crying and thankfully Ian immediately followed her. Then, on a deep, shuddering breath, he shut his eyes and went back to sleep.

"Sorry," Meredith muttered, sounding utterly spent and very tired.

"It's okay," Derek whispered and kissed her cheek over and over. "I love you. I know you couldn't help it."

"I love you and Ian so much."

"We know, Mer. Go back to sleep."

"Uh huh," she murmured, "Don't leave."

"I'm staying right here," he whispered, kissing her cheek again. He was grateful when he felt her body slip into sleep a few moments later. Derek watched his wife and son sleep. So quiet and peaceful now - when minutes before it was just the opposite. He grinned; life was an amazing adventure. He lay there thinking about how lucky he was to be able to see them and experience this life with all of his senses. He fell asleep, holding Meredith and his hand resting on Ian's gently rising and falling chest.

An hour later, Meredith woke up to a whimpering and very hungry baby. She opened her eyes and smiled at the fact that Derek was sleeping with them both still wrapped in his arms. She carefully moved her and Ian from under Derek's arms and scooted a little further over on the bed. She moved to the other side of Ian so she could lay on her opposite side and be able to look at Derek. She gave Ian her breast and rubbed the top of his head after he latched on and started eating vigorously. "Poor Daddy," she said, "I think we wore him out with our little crying jag."

"I'm awake," Derek mumbled, not opening his eyes.

"Sorry about the crying fit," she said and reached out to take his hand in hers.

"No need," Derek said, opening his eyes and scooting closer to Ian and Meredith. He kissed the top of Ian's head and then moved to kiss her on the lips. He lingered for a few moments, lips caressing her lips. Then he pulled back and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. "Do you know what set you off?"

"I was thinking about how much I love you and Ian, and all kinds of stuff just flooded my mind and I lost it. It was weird because even though I knew it was extreme hormones, I couldn't stop it. I hope that doesn't happen again. I also," she sighed and looked into his eyes. "I couldn't handle it if I ever lost you or Ian."

"Nothing's going to happen to either of us, Mer."

"I hope not. I really," she sighed again. "Everything is different now. I mean, everything I thought was so important before you and Ian just pales hugely in comparison to what you both mean to me."

"I know," he said with a voice full of emotion. "I know exactly what you mean. I even have a theory about it."

"You do?" she smiled and laced her fingers with his.

"Yes," he grinned and nodded, "I do."

"Well, tell me."

"We have our five senses - which I will never take for granted. We have touch, taste, smell, hearing and of course, sight. And then there's the sixth sense you and I both believe in since we've experienced it in the OR and with our families."

"Yes," she said, watching his face intently.

"I believe there's a seventh sense."

"You do?"

"Yes. I believe the seventh sense is love."

"What?" she asked with a grin, even though something shifted and settled in her heart and she realized she believed this, too.

"I was thinking about it after you two fell asleep," Derek said seriously. "Think about the way Ian was more upset each time I tried to take him from you and calm him."

"That was emotion."

"It was," he nodded, "but Mer, he already loves both of us. Just as we knew we loved him the moment we learned you were pregnant. Yes, love is an emotion, but I believe it's a sense, too."

"I happen to believe your theory," she grinned at him. However, Dr. Shepherd, you're going to need scientific proof to sell this to the medical community."

"I'm not selling it to anyone," he grinned back at her. "I just wanted you to know that I believe it. And it's nice that you do, too."

"Yes," she smiled, "I do. The seventh sense is love. And if our little family is the only one that ever believes it - that's quite all right."

Meredith and Derek lay there together - feeding Ian and holding hands while talking quietly. Family bonding and family loving.


	89. Just Enjoy

_Chapter 89: Just Enjoy_

Two weeks after giving birth, Meredith awoke to the feel of Derek's morning erection nestled firmly into her butt. It felt good and she was surprised at how much she was missing sex with him. Everything she'd read and heard had made her think she'd be too tired and too busy with Ian to even think about - much less want - sex with Derek. And yes, she was tired and busy but God, how she wanted her husband. Apparently, he wanted her too, she thought and rubbed her butt slowly against his arousal. At least his sleeping, dreaming, morning body did. He gave a low groan in his sleep and squeezed her hip while thrusting against her backside. It made her giggle but she quickly bit her lip to stop. She didn't want to wake up their baby before she was done pleasing her husband. Meredith closed her eyes, lay still and cleared her head of Ian thoughts before moving against Derek again.

Derek squeezed her tightly in his arms and thrust against her again. He moved a hand under her tee shirt and over her stomach. She knew he was sleeping, she knew she should stop him but it felt really good having his hands on her again. She reached back and grabbed his butt, pushing hers back tighter to him. "Mer," he moaned in his sleep and she smiled. She gave a soft moan of her own as his wandering hand finally cupped her breast and rubbed her nipple lightly.

She knew the moment he was awake because he mumbled, "Crap," and pulled away from her as if he'd been touching a hot potato. She giggled and rolled over to kiss him.

"Good morning," she whispered and he buried his tongue in her mouth again. When they broke apart, he said, "Sorry."

"Uh uh," she mumbled and pushed him to his back and climbed on top of him before closing her mouth over his again. He was sleeping in just pajama bottoms and the bare skin of his chest felt warm and smelled inviting. She leaned up to tug off her own tee shirt and then lay back down on top of him.

Derek groaned at the feel of his wife's naked, full breasts on his chest. God, he wanted her. Who knew this six week wait would be such torture? He rolled them over and whispered, "We can't." then he scrambled out of bed and into the bathroom. She heard the shower turn on and knew it'd be cold.

Getting up, Meredith checked on Ian and smiled at his even, steady breathing. Then she went into the bathroom and found that, sure enough, Derek was standing under a steady stream of water. She shed the rest of her clothes and stepped into the shower with him.

"Meredith," Derek sighed miserably. He loved looking at her. He really did, but naked and wet and not being able to make love to her was just too damn much. "We can't."

"I can't," she corrected and reached around him to turn the water from too cool to a much more comfortable, hot temperature. She pressed her naked breasts to his back and kissed his neck. She ran her fingers across his tense stomach and whispered, "You can, though."

"I can wait."

"Why should you?" she asked and moved around to the front of him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She stood on her tip toes and started kissing his neck. She smiled as she felt his penis start to stir against her again.

"It's not fair," he said lamely and made her laugh.

"No, it's not," she agreed as she reached down and stroked his rapidly hardening penis. She looked into his darkening blue eyes and asked, "Why shouldn't I be allowed to please you? Your body isn't the one healing."

"That isn't what I meant," he said hoarsely, rubbing his hands up and down her wet shoulders. He was afraid to touch her any where else.

"I know," she smiled up at him and then let go of his penis to squirt some liquid shower gel into her hands. She rubbed it into a lather and started washing him. He tensed and she leaned up to kiss him again. "Just enjoy," she whispered and then slowly ran her soapy hands all over his hard and perfectly hairy body.

Derek couldn't resist any longer and admitted that he didn't really want to. It was heavenly torture having her soft slippery hands all over his body. He watched as she cleaned every part of him. She smiled at him and it took his breath away. She really was beautiful but felt that the word didn't even come close to doing her justice. Derek had thought he'd been in love with her before but he found something new to love everyday.

He gasped as her tiny hand reached around from the back and grasped his rock hard penis again. She took advantage of the soapiness and stroked him with one hand while massaging his balls with the other. "God," he groaned, thrusting into her hand. He mumbled some other unintelligible things that made her smile as he came hard.

Meredith started washing her hair as Derek rinsed the soap and bodily fluid from his body. He grinned at her and said, "I love you."

"I know."

When he was done rinsing, he reached for the shower gel, intent on washing his wife. And that was when they both heard an angry baby, crying very loudly.

"Sorry," Derek said to Mer as he rinsed the soap from his hands.

"Just as well," Meredith said as he got out and dried off quickly.

"I guess," he reluctantly agreed. He leaned back into the shower and kissed her mouth. "Four weeks," he stated, "and then I'll make you feel like a Queen."

"I already do," she smiled.

"Then I promise to make you scream," he grinned.

Ian wailed again and Meredith giggled. "Right now, you have an angry baby to calm down."

Derek secured the towel around his waist and grinned, "Yeah."

"I'll hurry," she said, knowing their baby was crying because he was hungry. In addition to the fact that he didn't like being left alone. She watched Derek walk out of the bathroom and sighed. She really hoped she'd survive the next four weeks.


	90. Nervous for Tonight

_Chapter 90: Nervous for Tonight_

"Meredith, are you coming?"

"Do we have to?" she asked nervously from the driver's seat.

Chuckling, Derek leaned over and whispered in her ear, "We can have sex tonight."

This made her look at him and give a small smile. In some ways the past six weeks had gone by very quickly but in others - specifically the intimacy department - time had crawled slowly. Still, her heart beat a little apprehensively.

Derek sighed, looking into the back seat where Ian was asleep and strapped into his rear-facing baby seat. "You're nervous about taking him into the hospital."

"Yes," she nodded vigorously. "Are we sure it's not too soon? He's only six weeks and so tiny. He's only had a limited number of visitors. What if you just sit here with him while I get my check up? Then I'll just take him home while you give your lecture and," she trailed off as Derek tilted his head and smiled patiently at her. "I'm being stupid," she sighed.

"No," he said, tucking her hair behind her ear. "You're being a protective and loving mommy. But Mer, as much as we might want to - we can't keep him all to ourselves forever. Do you really want to deal with Miranda - or even Cristina - if you blow them off for lunch today? They've been very patient about waiting to see him."

"Miranda has," Meredith pouted. "Cristina could care less, either way."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Well, she only called twice. It's not like I expected her to come visit every day but she could have called."

Derek just smiled at her again while remaining silent. Finally, she heaved a sigh and said, "Fine, I know I can't have it both ways. I'm sure Cristina cares since it was her idea to have this little luncheon. I'm just really nervous about having Ian here. And tonight."

"Tonight?" he asked in confusion. Then he looked startled and asked, "You're nervous about us having sex again?"

"Yes," she whispered, embarrassed and upset that she'd even told him. She hadn't meant to, but it had slipped out. "I'm sorry. Just forget about it," she said and finally got out of the car.

He came around to her side before she could get Ian out and took her into his arms. "Mer, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she lied and tried to wiggle free.

"Hey," he said, concerned and refusing to let her go.

"You have a lecture to give in fifteen minutes and I have another appointment to get poked and prodded. We need to go."

Derek put his hands on her cheeks and said, "That can wait - you can't. Talk to me, Meredith."

She rubbed her cheek against his palm and asked softly, "What if I don't work?"

"What?"

She felt her cheeks warm with embarrassment and she said, "From what I've read we might not be able to have sex. Because of me, of course," she rolled her eyes in annoyance before continuing. "I might be dry and then it's going to hurt. And I might leak milk - which would be a mood killer. Really Derek, we don't have to -"

He interrupted her with a kiss. He moved his hands from her face to wrap them around her waist and pulled her closer to him. When she relaxed and leaned into him, he coaxed her lips open with his tongue and slid inside her warm mouth. She gave a soft moan and he opened his eyes to look at her. He loved seeing all the little things like her long, dark lashes laying against her creamy skin. As she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, he shifted and wedged his thigh between hers. He barely resisted the urge to grab her butt and hold her tighter against him. Instead, he pulled his mouth from hers and sucked in air before moving his lips to trail kisses along her neck. He moved up to nibble her earlobe and then whispered, "Meredith?"

"Huh?"

"How do you feel?"

"What?" she asked and tried to kiss him again while rubbing against his thigh.

Derek groaned and stood up straight to put some distance between their bodies. She blinked and he took a deep breath before he said, "I think the stuff you've been reading is making you worry needlessly."

Meredith's eyes widened while she quickly glanced around to make certain no one was nearby. Then she started giggling and wrapped her arms around him for another hug and a kiss. "You're right - I'm worrying about nothing in regard to us and sex."

"At the risk of being crude;" he grinned and moved his lips to whisper in her ear, "I'm quite sure I'll always make you wet."

She kissed him and said, "Let's go home now."

Derek laughed again and replied, "I'd love nothing more but -"

"Yeah," she said dramatically, "responsibility. I'll get the stroller."

As Meredith got the stroller Derek got Ian from the car and then connected his baby seat to the stroller. She checked on their son, making sure he was breathing and fussed with his blanket. Then she pulled the cover of his seat up and the stroller down - effectively covering him up.

"Feel better?" Derek teased as he put his hand on the small of her back while she pushed their son.

"Marginally," she admitted, "but no one is touching him unless I see them scrub their hands first."

Derek just laughed and then kissed her and Ian goodbye at the elevator before heading to his lecture. Both husband and wife were greatly looking forward to the night ahead.

* * *

**I'm so sorry that updating has taken me so long! I promise you guys that I didn't forget about y'all! I've been super busy with college. I've had so much work in the last two weeks. I have an exam today. Hopefully after that, I'll be able to update more regularly. Thank you all for being do patient with me! I appreciate all of you!**


	91. Friendly Advice

_Chapter 91: Friendly Advice_

"Hey," Mark said as he ran into Derek outside the Chief's office. "How are you?"

"Great."

"How's Ian?"

"Great."

"And Meredith?"

"Great," Derek snapped again and punched the call button for the elevator.

"Okay," Mark said and suppressed a grin. For some reason, he always found his friend's foul moods entertaining. "Well, whatever this brand of greatness is - don't pass it around."

There were a few people on the elevator when the two men stepped on and by silent agreement, they halted speaking. Everyone got off on the next floor and surprisingly, no one else got on. When the doors slid closed, Derek said, "Richard is riding my ass about cutting again."

"You don't want to?"

"I don't know," Derek sighed, and they got off the elevator and stopped at the nurse's station for Mark to get a patient's chart.

"What does Meredith think?"

Derek couldn't help but grin as he said, "She thinks, and has said, in very colorful ways, that Richard ought to mind his own business."

"True, but don't forget that Seattle Grace is the Chief's business. He almost lost Adele over this place. And here you are - one of the best Neurosurgeons in the country -"

"At one time," Derek interrupted with another sigh.

"At any time," Mark interjected, "ever. Do you really blame Richard for wanting you to cut again?"

"No," Derek answered, "but he needs to back off and let me decide if that's what I want."

"Do you really not want to cut again, Derek? Or are you just nervous because it's been so long?"

"I don't know, damn it," he said in growing frustration. "And I can't think clearly about it. There are other, more important things going on in my life right now. Meredith's freaked out about leaving Ian to come back to work. And honestly, so am I. If he's awake, he wants to be held and if he's not being held, he screams until someone picks him up. Is that normal?"

"Umm, I don't know," Mark mumbled uncomfortably.

"I feel like an ass even asking if my ten-week-old son's behavior is normal, but Meredith is beside herself and can't even relax."

"Must make sex hell," Mark said jokingly. When Derek just grunted a response, Mark's jaw dropped in shock. Quietly, he said, "Don't even tell me you and Meredith aren't having sex."

"Okay, I won't," Derek grumbled.

"Christ," Mark said, "You're not. I do not want to know details but I will say you better change that fast."

"We've tried," Derek said and laughed when Mark held up his hand in disgust.

"I told you I don't want to know. I don't claim to understand marriage and family life but sex," Mark grinned. "Sex - I get. You need to drop Ian straight into your sister's open arms and take Meredith off for wild monkey sex. I guarantee - once you and Meredith are back in the saddle again - everything else will fall into place and be crystal."

"You might be right," Derek laughed.

"I am right," Mark grinned again. "Drop Ian off and have some time with Mer," he said and smacked Derek in the shoulder before walking toward his patient's room.

Derek thought about what Mark said for a few moments and then pulled out his phone. He got Kathleen's voicemail - which didn't really surprise him. She was having lunch with Meredith, Ian, Molly and Lexie. He left her a message to call him as soon as she got a chance. Feeling better knowing that he was going to have some alone time with Meredith - Derek went to prepare for his afternoon lecture.


	92. Meredith and Derek are Back!

_Chapter 92: Meredith and Derek are Back!_

When Derek finished his lecture - he immediately checked his messages. There was one from Meredith asking him to meet her in the West Bar on 4th Avenue. He grinned as he disconnected his phone. If she was asking him to meet her in a nearby bar - that meant Ian was being taken care of and he'd have his alone time with her. He rushed the interns and Residents with questions as much as he could without being too obvious. Then he went to have a quick shower, change clothes and walk the few blocks to where his amazing wife was waiting.

Derek walked into the West Hotel and found the bar quickly enough. However, when he went inside, he didn't find Meredith. Frowning, he stepped back into the lobby and pulled out his phone to call her.

"Hi Derek," she answered immediately. She sounded rested, relaxed and like she was smiling.

It made him smile in return. "Hi Mer," he replied. "Are you running late?"

"Are you at the hotel?"

"Yes, in the lobby."

"Room 2312," she said and hung up on him.

Derek couldn't control the grin that spread across his handsome face as he put his phone away and walked toward the elevators. His wife was full of surprises. They had a room in this hotel. He pushed the button for the twenty-third floor and realized he felt like an anxious teenage boy on prom night. His mind was filled with things he wanted to do to and with Meredith. He was getting hard just thinking about her. When he knocked on the door and she opened it he nearly swallowed his tongue at the sight of her. She looked incredibly sexy and nothing, absolutely nothing like anyone's mom. She had on a black, strapless mini dress that hugged every beautiful curve and very high, red open-toed heels that made her legs look a mile long.

"Hi," he said, his voice hoarse with desire.

She laughed and grabbed him by the hand to pull him into the room with her. She put a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the outside doorknob and shut the door behind them. Derek pulled her into his arms and kissed her hungrily. She smelled good and tasted even better. He ran his fingers slowly up her arms, across her shoulders and to her neck. He moved his mouth from hers and grinned to see her kiss-swollen lips curve with a smile and a sigh. He bent his head to nibble her earlobe and heard her gasp.

Meredith reached down and grabbed the bottom of his sweater to pull it over his head. She tossed it and started tugging buttons as she pushed him toward the giant bed in the center of the room. "In a hurry?" he teased.

"Only to get you naked," she replied and pushed on his chest, so he'd get in bed. "Then I'm going to take my time and have my way with you."

Laying on his back in the bed, Derek grinned and started to say something. Then he groaned and covered his face with his hands.

"What?" Meredith asked, puzzled by his turn of mood.

Derek got off the bed and mumbled, "Put something on, please."

"What?" she asked again and then she said, a little angrily. "Derek, you better not tell me you have to go back to the hospital. I've had more than a five-minute shower. I'm plucked, waxed and my hair is clean. When was the last time all of that was done at once?"

He opened his mouth to respond but she cut him off. "You are my husband and I want heat and romance from you! I want to feel like a woman tonight and damn it, I want sex!"

Derek chuckled and as Meredith opened her mouth to yell at him again, he grabbed her and kissed her. He kissed her until she relaxed in his arms and enthusiastically kissed him back. Then he gently pushed her a step back and bent down to get his sweater from the floor. "Hold on," he said as she started to protest him putting it over her head and pulling it down her body. "There," he said and stepped back, "better."

"What the freakin' hell?" she grumbled and scowled at her husband. She was absolutely certain he'd lost his mind.

"Mer," he smiled and reached out to caress her cheek. "Where is Ian?"

"Oh," she said, finally understanding. She smiled and pushed her arms through the sleeves of his sweater. "You're worrying about our son and -"

"You look like sin," he chuckled. "Thoughts of wild sex and our child's whereabouts don't go together."

"Not at all," she agreed and hugged him. She kissed him quickly and said, "Ian is with all of his Auntie's at Kathleen's house. They have plenty of frozen breast milk, diapers, wipes, etc… to get him through a night without us. Although, I'm not sure about the whole night. Molly insists we take it but," she shrugged.

"How did this come about?"

"Well," she said and bowed her head, a little embarrassed.

"Mer?"

"I lost it at lunch. Molly and Kathleen were teasing me about sex becoming all about the quickie after having children. I started crying and then admitted that we hadn't even managed that."

Derek groaned and she gave a little giggle. "I'm sorry, it just came spewing out of my mouth. I swear to God it was like I had no control. I was trying to make them understand how much I do love Ian, but it'd be nice to actually have sex with you again. Or that I'd like to wash my hair and shave in the same shower. Molly and Kathleen swear this is completely normal for new parents. Except maybe the fact that it's been ten weeks with no sex. That's a little extreme. I'm sorry," she said again and reached up to rub his cheek.

"I understand," he said. "I do. I even talked to Mark about it but," he sighed and sounded a little horrified when he continued, "My sister?"

"I know," Meredith giggled again, "but she was so great to me this afternoon, along with Molly and Lexie. It's not like she's going to tease you about it. In fact, I think she was a little embarrassed at first, but she got over it and had some great advice about Ian. They helped with him all day and we went shopping and to the salon. Oh, and guess what?"

"What?" he asked with a grin, supremely pleased at his wife's happiness.

"Lexie's getting married, Molly is pregnant, and Kathleen and David are going to add-on to their house."

"That's a lot of information in one sentence," Derek laughed and hugged her tightly. "It's about time Ryan got around to asking Lexie to marry him, though. Have they set a date?"

She laughed and replied, "Yes, and it caused a momentary tiff between Lex and Molly today."

"Let me guess," he grinned. "Molly is going to be hugely pregnant at the wedding."

"Got it in one try," she giggled. "Lexie's wedding is April 4th and Molly's baby is due May 19th. Kathleen and I stayed out of the argument but they're okay now. Molly's has to deal with the fact that she'll be a hugely pregnant bridesmaid. What are you doing?"

Derek had reached down to pull his sweater up and back over her head. He leaned down to kiss Meredith and said, "I want to hear about this and I'm most interested in the advice Kathleen had in regard to Ian," he stopped talking to deepen their kiss. When he moved his lips to her neck a few moments later, he whispered, "But right now -"

"Stop talking," she demanded, threading her fingers through his thick dark hair and holding him to her as he kissed and nuzzled the tops of her breasts.

"Exactly," he chuckled and unzipped her dress, letting it fall to the floor. He sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of her. Standing there in nothing but the red hooker shoes and tiny black panties - Meredith had the strong urge to cover herself back up. It was a strange moment of vulnerability for her. She knew it was partly because of the fact that they were finally going to have post pregnancy sex; but mostly she felt shy because this would be their first time since Derek's sight had improved so dramatically. Maybe he wouldn't object if she turned off the lights.

"Meredith," he said gently, interrupting her nervous, tumultuous thoughts.

"Derek," she said, looking at his chest and busying her hands with unfastening the buttons of his shirt. Once they were all undone, she pushed the shirt off his shoulders, down his arms and watched it fall to the floor. She ran the tip of her forefinger along his collarbone and smiled in satisfaction when his Adam's apple bobbed with a deep swallow. She glanced up to see him watching her face intently, the blue of his eyes already darkening.

"You're beautiful," he told her. She gave a tiny shrug and looked back at his chest. He cupped her face in the palm of his hand and forced her to look at him again. "Mer," he said and leaned down to kiss her. He bit her bottom lip and made her gasp. "You are beautiful. You don't believe me?" he asked as she looked away from him yet again.

"It's not that," she mumbled. "What if you," she couldn't say what she was afraid of so she changed direction. "And I just," she gestured vaguely at her body with her hands.

"Had our baby. I know," he interrupted with a small chuckle.

"Don't laugh at me," she snapped and put her hands on her hips. "I thought you said you didn't want to talk but you seem awfully chatty."

"So, I did," he said, still grinning as he kicked off his shoes and discarded his pants. Derek pulled her back into his arms and whispered, "So I'll just show you how beautiful you are to me." His mouth closed over hers, swallowing any retort she might have made. He wrapped his arms around her waist and simply held her close while they continued to kiss. He began lightly trailing his fingers up and down her naked back, across her shoulders and down her arms to lace his fingers with hers. All the while he kept his eyes open and watched - as well as felt - her body relax into his.

He knew that his lovely wife sometimes got all wrapped up in her thoughts and created a small amount of insecurity for herself. He assumed it had to do with having such a lonely childhood and the fear of being alone again. "I love you, Mer."

She opened her eyes and looked into his and then smiled, "I know." She wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders and laughed. "Even when I'm being insecure and a little neurotic, I really do know that you love me. Thank you," she said and giggled while she placed little kisses all over his face. "I love you too," she said and pulled him onto the bed with her. She kissed him again, laying on top of him and pressing the entire length of her body tightly to his.

Derek thread his fingers through her hair and slid his tongue languorously in and out of her mouth. She moved her mouth from his and lightly bit his shoulder while rubbing her thigh against his groin and making him harder by the moment. The more she rubbed against him and kissed his body, the fuzzier his brain grew. "Mer," he groaned, "slow down."

"What?" she asked in shock and rolled off of him to kick off her frivolous shoes and wiggle out of the skimpy panties. He flung his arm over his eyes and groaned again. He couldn't watch her wiggle her body around or he certainly wasn't going to last. She laughed and reached for his boxers to pull them from his body. "Ten weeks Derek," she said and took his hard length in her hand and stroked. "Do you really want slow?"

His restraint was hanging by a very lose thread and he wondered when exactly he'd lost control of the situation. She leaned down and took one of his hands to place on her breast while squeezing him with her other hand. "Do you?" she whispered.

"No," he answered in a hoarse voice, rubbing her nipple with his thumb and relishing her pleased gasp. "But you need -"

"You," Meredith interrupted. She moved to lie beside him again. They immediately started touching and kissing one another again. When he moved to nibble her neck and trail his fingers down her stomach, she moaned. "Derek," she pleaded, "we've had each other hard and wet, hot and bothered so many times in the past four weeks." She moaned and lost her breath as he dipped his fingers inside, feeling her heat. "Please," she whispered and the thread on his control snapped. He rolled on top of her and she opened for him. Derek laced the fingers of both of their hands together and squeezed tightly as he slid slowly into her. They were both nearly frantic for the other but he'd be damned if he hurt her with a hasty entry.. Once he was buried deep inside her, he stopped moving every part of his body. He placed his forehead on hers and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"Are you okay?" Meredith asked then kissed him softly on the lips.

"Yes," Derek chuckled, "but I should be asking you that."

"I'm perfect," she giggled and tightened her inner muscles around him to prove her point.

"Any pain?" he asked, determined to make sure she was all right.

"None," she replied and pressed her pelvis against his, desperate for him to move. And finally, finally he did; pulling very slowly out of her and then thrusting just as slowly back inside. Over and over, slow, long, deep thrusts until they were both covered in a fine sheet of perspiration and panting. "Let go," she said, squeezing his fingers.

He did let go of her hands and she immediately wrapped her arms around him ran her hands up and down his slick back. Derek grabbed her hips and gripped her tightly. He didn't want to hurt her but God, he could not go slow anymore. He drove hard into her and her scream of delight fueled him as he picked up the pace. She wrapped herself around him and met him thrust for body-slapping thrust. Then, at the same time, their bodies coiled tightly and finally erupted in glorious pleasure. They screamed each other's name and then held on until they were breathing almost normally again.

Meredith cuddled against Derek's side and gave a very contented and sleepy sigh. "Let's do that again," she said and yawned.

"Definitely," he agreed with a chuckle, "but have a nap first."

"All right," she mumbled, already drifting off in his arms.

Derek lay wide awake with his wife wrapped tightly in his arms. He was tired and extremely satisfied but found that he couldn't sleep. His thoughts were crystal clear but filled with excitement. After an hour, he had to talk to Meredith and nudged her, "Mer, Wake up. Meredith?"

"What?" she asked, jolting in his arms and looking around a little frantically. "Is Ian all right?"

"Yes," Derek said and stroked her reassuringly. "I'm sorry to startle you. I just wanted to tell you that I've decided to cut again. And I want it to be with you."

Meredith looked at her husband and her face lit up with a glorious smile. She felt like a kid on Christmas morning who had received the perfect gift


	93. Working Together?

_Chapter 93: Working Together?_

With the happiness of Derek's decision to perform surgery swelling in her heart - Meredith laughed and moved up to kiss him. He slowly caressed her hair and the back of her head. She smiled at his gesture as it was such a comforting thing that he did for her. She moved to cuddle into his side and said, "I have an idea to save lives. I've been doing some research. Want to order room service and talk about it over dinner?"

He chuckled and rolled her to her back and kissed her again. When they pulled apart - slightly breathless - he asked, "Do you really want to talk about work tonight?" He moved to trace his tongue along the outer rim of her ear.

She shivered with anticipation and sighed, "No, no talking right now."

Two hours later - after another round of love making a long, hot shower together and calling to check on Ian - they sat down to eat in their room.

"Steak," Meredith said appreciatively as she took the cover from her plate.

"And big chunks of carbs in a basket," Derek agreed.

"Well," Meredith giggled, "you better eat all the protein. You're going to need it because I have plans for us for the rest of the night."

"Really," Derek grinned and took a huge bite of steak.

They ate half their meal quickly and in silence. Then Derek cut up the rest of his steak, put his fork down and took her hand in his. Pulling gently he said, "Come here."

She went willingly to sit in his lap, wrapping her arm around his shoulders. They fed each other a few bites of steak and vegetables. "Thank you," Derek said, nuzzling her neck. "We needed this time together."

"You're welcome," she replied and giggled, "but it's the sisters you should thank."

"And I will," he agreed, "but if you hadn't been all right leaving Ian with them - we wouldn't be here. So, as I said, thank you."

"Well, it was as much for me as you so we are welcome," she stated and kissed him again.

When they pulled their lips apart this time, Derek gave a small sigh and said, "Tell me your idea to save lives."

"Remember the patient I had just before giving birth? Phillip Robinson?"

Derek thought for a moment and then nodded, "Camping with his wife and brother, bear attack, he had a tumor that was effecting his personality and it was in an inoperable location."

"Yes," Meredith nodded sadly. "He went blind, treating his wife like crap even though in his lucid moments, he obviously loved her."

"I know his case got to you Mer," Derek said and squeezed her tightly.

"Yes," she said, "it did. Some do, we know that but his got to me more than usual."

"I know."

"He died, Mr. Robinson died because there was nothing, we could do for him."

Derek just nodded again, knowing there was nothing to say. Losing a patient sucked no matter what and it was worse when the patient affected you on an emotional, personal level. It didn't take much to figure out that Mr. Robinson losing his sight made Meredith think of him.

"Anyway," Meredith continued after a heavy sigh. "I've been doing some research. I want to do a clinical trial for patients with tumors like Mr. Robinson's. It would require infecting the tumor with a virus. The goal being, shrink the virus and give these patients a real shot at recovering."

He couldn't help but give her a soft smile. She cared so much, and he was so proud of her. "I'm not sure I'm the one you should do this clinical trial with, Mer."

"You're just the right one for me to do this clinical trial with, Derek. I was going to go to Miyamoto or Livingston with it. I still will if you really don't want to do this with me, but you are the best and I want the best."

"Mer," he said, stroking her cheek and looking in her eyes. "Of course, I want to work with you, I said as much and I've wanted to from the moment we met. It's just, a clinical trial is huge to jump into after not cutting for so long."

"Well," she said, her heart leaping in excitement over working with him. "We have to set up the trial, get the approval, find the patients willing to give the trial a go, figure out the virus to inject. It'll take time. You can get back to cutting by doing craniotomies and such. Derek, we can do this."

He was so caught up in her belief and enthusiasm that he grinned and said, "It'll be like riding a bike."

"Yes," she giggled, "and we'll save lives, together."

"Together," Derek agreed and kissed her again.

They spoke some more about their plans for the clinical trial and then moved back to bed. Talk of work was put aside for more of their wonderful, intimate night together.


	94. The Glorious Shepherds

_Chapter 94: The Glorious Shepherds_

When Ian was twelve weeks Meredith went back to work. Even though he was in the Seattle Grace daycare - she still missed him like crazy. She went to see him every day during her lunch and sometimes between surgeries. One day, she walked in and Derek was there, too. He was sitting in the glider, holding their son snugly against his chest and murmuring into his tiny ear. It brought tears to her eyes to witness the strong and loving bond between Daddy and Son.

Derek saw Meredith and reached out his arm to her. She went to her husband and child and immediately felt safely cocooned in their own little world. "Hi," she whispered. Derek kissed her lips and Ian lifted his head and made a sweet little gurgling sound while leaning toward her.

"Okay," Derek said and chuckled as he handed Ian over to Meredith and had her take the glider. "I understand that I'm chopped liver in this equation. "

"No," Meredith said as she shook her head and offered her breast to Ian's eagerly searching mouth. "We're equally important to him."

"I know," Derek smiled and covered his son and wife with one of Ian's nearby receiving blankets. Then he pulled up a chair to sit beside them and rub his baby's feet. "I miss him during the day."

"Me too," she sighed and looked at her husband. "It's a lot harder being back at work than I'd anticipated."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I mean, I love that you're back here and I get to see you during the day again. But it was a lot more comforting knowing you were with Ian than having him taken care of by others."

"What do we do?"

"I don't know. I guess we wait and find out how we adjust. Hopefully it'll get easier."

"Hopefully," she replied quietly and leaned her head on his shoulder. "How often do you come down here to be with him?"

"Every day."

"Me too," she gave a little laugh. "How did we not know that?"

"Good question," he stated. "Let's start coming together."

"Okay," she nodded. They were quiet for a few minutes while Ian finished drinking from one side and was switched to the other. Then Meredith asked, "Have you told the Chief you want to cut again?"

"No," Derek answered and grimaced a bit. "I know I need to. Especially since you have everything moving for the clinical trial. I'm just not in a hurry to have him breathing down my neck about getting into the O.R. to cut."

"I have a craniotomy in an hour. Want to scrub in and do it with me?"

Derek couldn't help the huge grin that enveloped his face.

"I'll take that as a yes," she giggled.

"Yes," he said and kissed her quickly. "It would be my honor to assist you in surgery, Dr. Shepherd. Not to mention a pleasure to finally be able to watch you operate up close."

Completely humbled by his words, Meredith just nodded and put her head back on his shoulder. She finished feeding Ian and then Derek took their son. He burped him and changed his diaper. They stayed with Ian for a little while longer and then left the nursery together. They stopped in the cafeteria and shared a sandwich and a salad before going to prep for their surgery.

"The surgery is in the gallery O.R."

"All right," Derek said and sighed. They both knew that the gallery would fill up as soon as word spread that Meredith and Derek were doing the surgery together. He was all right with that, though. He was nervous, but ready to hold a scalpel again. Most importantly, he was ready to embark on this leg of the journey with his wife. He just knew that they were going to make positive medical changes together. They were going to save lives together. And perhaps make medical history at the same time.

* * *

The first craniotomy that Derek and Meredith did together was a success. As they had anticipated, the gallery had been full; with surgeons that ranked from the newest intern on up to Chief Webber. Of course, the Chief had wanted to be in the O.R. observing but Meredith had kindly asked him not to. At first, he was self-righteous and angry about it but gave in when she told him he needed to step back and let Derek get comfortable again. The clincher for assuring the Chief went to the gallery was Meredith telling him that she and Derek were going to do the clinical trial together - if her husband was comfortable with it. She told Derek after the surgery how she'd kept the Chief out of the O.R. and he laughed until his sides hurt. He always got a kick out of someone busting the always arrogant Richard Webber. Especially when that someone happened to be his amazing wife.

A week after their first craniotomy, Meredith got a patient who was having unexplained seizures. Her name was Lilia-Grace Hayes and she was only a toddler. The little girls' parents had brought her to Seattle Grace from another hospital because the seizures were getting worse and their local doctors couldn't figure out why. Meredith ordered a new CT and a new MRI. She discovered that Lilia (Lily) had Rasmussen's Encephalitis - a rare disease that had caused the left side of her brain to die. She was going to need a Hemispherectomy.

After making the diagnosis and telling the parents about the surgery Meredith went to her office. She locked herself inside and honestly felt like she was going to die from the pressure in her chest. She was having trouble catching her breath and losing the battle against the tears burning her eyes.

"Meredith?"

She turned to see Derek. She hadn't heard him come in but was so grateful for his appearance. He took one look at her then shut and relocked the office door. He pulled her into his arms and held tight as she broke into sobs. "That's their child," she choked out.

"I know," he whispered and just rubbed her back in slow, soothing circles. It was cases like this one that made being a surgeon really tough. He continued to hold her when she'd finished crying. She finally said, "I keep thinking, 'What if this was Ian?'"

"Me too," Derek admitted.

"How am I supposed to go into the O.R. and cut open that sweet little girls' brain while I'm thinking about our son?"

He sat down and pulled her into his lap. He kissed her cheeks and then cradled her close as he replied, "You'll go in and be able to perform Lily's surgery because you've been thinking of Ian."

"What?"

"Mer, if Ian is ever in a life-threatening situation - God forbid - you would do any and everything within your power to save him."

"Of course," she said, somewhat indignantly. "So, would you."

"Yes, I would," he nodded in agreement. "Jamie's parents would, as well. They are doing what's in their power to save her. You are an amazingly compassionate surgeon and now you have the added benefit of being a mother who is completely in love with her child. You - with your knowledge as a gifted surgeon and the heart of a mom- are that family's best bet."

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Meredith pondered what he'd just said to her. Finally, she replied, "We are Jamie's best bet. We are going to do this surgery together."

"I wish I could do Jamie's Hemispherectomy with you Meredith, but I can't," Derek replied sadly. And, she immediately noticed, nervously.

"Why not?"

"I am," he stopped and took a deep breath and let it out slowly and noisily before beginning again. "I'm doing my first solo surgery in years this evening. I was hoping you could scrub in with me but that's not going to happen."

"What's the surgery and who is your patient?"

"You're not surprised," Derek stated and couldn't help but smile because of her absolute faith in him.

"No. I'm not," she smiled and shrugged. "In order for us to do our clinical trial - you need to be completely comfortable in the O.R. and that wasn't going to happen until you flew solo again. Are you going to tell me about your surgery?"

"I'm operating on the Chief. He has a tumor on his optic nerve."

Meredith's stomach catapulted with nerves and nausea for her husband and a huge dose of anger toward the Chief. How dare he ask Derek to do this? She kept her face and her emotions in careful check for Derek's sake, though. She took a deep breath and calmly said, "You need to fly solo Derek, but I can assist if you need me to. I can reschedule -"

"No, you can't," he interrupted and kissed her lightly before gently stroking her cheek. "You are going to worry about Jamie and her parents until this surgery is complete and you know that little girl is all right. Plus, I wanted you to scrub in with me, but the Chief is using your surgery as cover for his. He doesn't want anyone knowing what's going on until he's in post-op. Even then, he expects everyone to keep the tightest lid possible upon his condition."

"Of course," she said with a nod.

"Don't be angry with him, Mer. He's doing what he thinks is best for everyone involved."

"I understand," she said and tried to smile. She wasn't going to make Derek more nervous and uncomfortable by having a fit. She wouldn't want him to mistake her reaction as a lack of faith in him. "We should go and prep for our surgeries."

"We should," he agreed and they both got up and walked out of her office together. They held hands but were silent until they said goodbye and parted company.

An hour later, Meredith opened the door to the scrub room where Derek and Bailey were scrubbing in for the Chief's surgery. She was a little alarmed to see Derek simply staring into the O.R. as if unaware of his surroundings in any way.

"Meredith," Bailey said. "Don't you have your own surgery right now?"

"Yes, and I'm going but Derek should have this," she said and handed Bailey a scrub cap. "He loves ferry boats. It's his favorite, he should wear it." She gave Derek a long look, willing him to return her gaze and see how much she loved and believed in him. When he didn't, she turned and left the scrub room to head for her own surgery.

"Meredith?" She turned and saw Derek standing in front of her twisting the ferry boat scrub cap between his fingers.

"What are you doing? You're going to have to rescrub."

"I'm not ready," he replied, shaking his head and looking so very vulnerable to her. "I cannot operate on the Chief. I'm not ready to fly solo."

"Yes, you are," she said adamantly. "I love you and you can do this. You can do this," she said again with every ounce of faith for him evident in her voice. "I know you can," she finished softly and reached up to rub his cheek the way he often did to her. "It's the perfect night for you to help the Chief keep his career."

Derek smiled and pulled Meredith to him. He felt infinitely better and pulled slightly back to smile at her. Softly, he said, "And it's a beautiful night for you to give a little girl her future."

"Let's do both and then go home and see our son, our future."

"Yes," he grinned and kissed her quickly, right there in the hallway between scrub rooms and operating rooms. Then they went to their separate surgeries; both confident in themselves and each other.


	95. Possible Medical Breakthrough?

_Chapter 95: Possible Medical Breakthrough?_

Derek woke up the morning Ian turned six months to an empty bed and frowned. He glanced at the clock - saw that it was only four - and remembered that Meredith had gone to their teething baby boy two hours before. He went to Ian's room and smiled at what he saw; mother and son sleeping together in the glider. Chuckling softly at the sweet picture - Derek reached to take Ian and Meredith mumbled, "He just settled down."

"You're awake?"

"Yes," she sighed, opening her tired, bleary eyes and smiling at her husband. She sat up and stretched as Derek put Ian back in his crib. "I need a shower and a lot of coffee."

He didn't say anything as he took her hand and walked back to their bedroom together. When she started for the bathroom, he pushed her toward bed instead. "You're going back to sleep for a while."

At the moment, she wanted nothing more, but replied, "We have our fifth clinical trial patient today."

"Yes," he nodded and got into bed to wrap his arms around her. "Darren Covington. There will be pre-op workups, clinical trial paperwork and a load of other stuff that I can take care of while you sleep and spend the morning with Ian."

"Derek -"

"Don't argue with me, Mer. You and I both know what a grind clinical trials can be. If I recall correctly, you forced me to do the same thing I'm suggesting just last week. I can drive myself in to the hospital now that the great state of Washington deemed my eyesight well enough to drive again."

Meredith rolled over to face him. She leaned in to kiss him and then said, "I wasn't going to argue. I was going to say thank you," she smiled and slipped his hand under her t-shirt to cup her breast. "And then suggest that you love me back to sleep but if you'd rather not -"

He cut her off by pulling her more tightly against him and kissing her deeply. They pulled each others clothes off in a hurry and then took their time making love. When he slid fully into her she moaned and thrust her hips hard against his. He gave a breathless chuckled that turned quickly to a groan as she wrapped her legs tightly around him and continued her rapid movement. "Meredith," he sighed. If he didn't slow her down, he wasn't going to last for long. "Meredith," he said again and grasped her hips in his hands, pushing them into the bed, "look at me. Look at me," he whispered again as he withdrew slowly and almost all the way from her body. "Easy, slow down," he said once her blurry, passionate gaze was locked upon his. When he felt her relax a little, he slid back into her. He let go of her hips and set an excruciatingly slow pace until they were both panting breathlessly with orgasms ripping through every cell of their bodies. Afterward, they fell immediately back into a restful sleep while spooned naked and together.

Derek woke the second time that morning - at seven - to the sounds of his wife's even breathing and his son's delighted babbling. Rolling out of bed, he pulled his clothes on and went to get Ian from his room. "Hey buddy," he said and grinned as Ian pulled himself up on the side of the crib and then immediately plopped down on his butt while reaching for his dad.

He picked up his son and took him to the changing table for a fresh diaper. "It's just you and I for a little bit while mommy gets some more sleep." Derek finished changing his son and zipped him back into his pajamas to take him to the kitchen for breakfast. He put Ian in his highchair and gave him a few dry cheerios while he started the pot of coffee. Then he mixed baby cereal with mushed banana and breast milk. Derek sat down with Ian and grinned as he put the first spoonful into his son's mouth. "I know this is good for you Ian, but I'm really glad it's you eating it and not me."

Ian immediately laughed and spit the food at his dad. "Nice Ian," Derek chuckled as he wiped the cereal from his neck and fed his child another bite. Fortunately, this time the baby ate it rather than spit it.

When Meredith walked into the living room at eight-fifteen, she was rewarded with the sight of Derek sitting with Ian while trying to help him build a tower of blocks. "Good morning," she said and was met with identical grins and two sets of identical, sparkling blue eyes. She sat down with her boys and felt a huge surge of happiness and love.

"Good morning," Derek said as Ian babbled lovingly at her. "Feeling better?"

"Yes," she grinned and hugged her reaching son.

"Good," Derek said, hugging the two of them to him. "I'd love to stay but,"

"I know," she sighed dramatically and grinned. "Work, clinical trial, lives to save."

He chuckled because he knew all of that meant just as much to her as it did him. He took Ian and put him on his stomach on the blanket. He took Meredith's hand and said, "Come here a minute." He pulled her toward the hallway and into his arms for a bone-melting kiss. He held her to him and stroked his tongue slowly along hers until she moaned in his mouth. "Thank you for this morning," he said when he pulled back from her.

"Thank you," she sighed and put her head on his shoulder. Then, excitedly, she said, "Derek, look!"

They watched together as Ian scooted himself across his blanket to pick up a block that was sitting on the carpet. "He's doing an Army crawl," Derek said, his voice filled with awe and pride.

"He is," Meredith agreed and giggled. They both went over to their son and praised him glowingly. Ian looked at them and giggled as if he thought they were the silliest people in the world.

Derek rubbed the tiny patch of dark blond hair on the top of Ian's head. "Happy six months Ian, I love you. He glanced at the time again and sighed loudly. He really wished this was a day off for him and Meredith to spend with Ian. At least they'd both been here to see him start scooting around, though.

"Go shower Derek," Meredith said, understanding the internal battle he was having with himself. It was hard wanting to be the best parent, the best spouse, and the best doctor all rolled into one. She thought they were doing a pretty darn good job of balancing the three, though.

"All right," he replied and quickly kissed his wife and child again before leaving the room. At the hallway, he stopped to look back at them. Every day, he was more and more grateful for the gift of love and family. He watched them for a few more moments and finally went to hurriedly get ready for work.

* * *

Meredith got to Seattle Grace early that afternoon and reluctantly left Ian in the hospital day care. They'd had such a lovely, peaceful morning together. He seemed so proud of the fact that he was able to scoot around now. Granted, he only did it two more times since Derek had left the house but still, he was so delighted with himself. It was really quite adorable. Meredith wondered if it was ever going to get easier to leave her little boy and decided that no, it probably wasn't. With a heavy heart, she left him and went to change into her scrubs and find Derek. She needed to get her mind on their new patient, the clinical trial and off the guilt of being a working mom.

It turned out that Derek found her. He was walking into the hospital day care as she was walking out. "Hi," she smiled, feeling better at seeing him.

Leaning down, he kissed her and then grinned hugely, "Hi."

"You're in a good mood."

"You're not."

"I'm not really in a bad mood. I just feel bad leaving him," she said, glancing back at Ian.

"I know," Derek sighed, "me too but I have news that might cheer you up."

"Really?"

"Yes really," he kissed her again. "I'll tell you all about it as soon as I've seen Ian for a bit."

"All right," she agreed. "I probably shouldn't go back in right now. I'll just go get changed."

"Meet me in the lab."

"All right," she said again and smiled, her professional curiosity piqued. "Is there something new in regard to the clinical trial?"

"Yes. I'm hoping it's a breakthrough."

"What? Tell me," she trailed off as he laughed. "Fine, fine, I'll meet you in the lab after your visit with Ian. Half-an-hour?"

"Yeah," he said, looking in at their son. "I wish it could be longer."

"I know," she said and squeezed his fingers in her own. "Take your time. I'll read over Darren Covington's chart and go in and introduce myself to him."

"I'll be in the lab in thirty minutes," Derek replied and kissed her yet again before going in to see Ian.

Meredith watched, and smiled as Ian realized his dad was there to see him. The pure joy that appeared on her son's face brought tears to her eyes. She could have easily stayed there all day and watched her husband and son interact. Instead, she turned and went to do her job. The one she really did love and care about, she reminded herself.

* * *

Thirty minutes after leaving the day care, Meredith stepped into the lab and Derek came in a moment later.

"I could probably set my watch to you," she teased him.

"Says the surgeon who is just as punctual," he retorted and then pulled her into his arms for a tight embrace. They held each other silently for a moment. Then Derek said, "It doesn't get easier - leaving him. It doesn't get any easier. I thought it would, which sounds completely asinine now that I'm saying it out loud but it's not. If anything, it feels more difficult to leave him now that he is starting to do more."

"I know," Meredith said, rubbing his back. "I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way, though. I'd feel like a real crazy person."

"We're both crazy then," Derek laughed and let go of her. "Want to know what I've been up to this morning?"

"You mean the medical breakthrough?"

"The possible break through," he nodded, "but yes that is what I'm talking about." Derek proceeded to tell Meredith about his idea to isolate the tumor and inject it with the virus and IL2. "I think it will shrink the tumor," he said in an excited voice, "in a more expeditious fashion."

"Expeditious?" she laughed, even though she was catching his enthusiasm.

"Yes," he grinned. "We'll inject the tumor in two locations, simultaneously. Here, I have a model set up so we can practice."

"You want to do this today? On Darren Covington?"

"Yes," he replied carefully, "I do. I know it's risky but," he was cut off by her kiss. And when she pulled back, he asked, "What was that for?"

"It was because I suddenly started thinking about your tongue and had the strong urge to kiss you. Plus, I think this is a brilliant idea. And without risk - where would medicine be?"

He looked at her with such a peaceful expression and then he said, "I love you."

"I love you too," she replied. "Are we going to practice on this model or what?"

"Practice, definitely," he said and turned out the lights in the lab so they could see the model of the brain and the injection sites for the cocktail to go into the tumor. "It's going to need to be injected completely in sync."

"I think this is going to work, Derek"

"I hope so," he said, and they spent the next hour together in the lab practicing with their model in the hopes of finally, finally saving the life of one of their clinical trial patients.


	96. Injecting the Virus

_Chapter 96: Injecting the Virus_

Meredith was quite nervous as she and Derek scrubbed in for Darren Covington's surgery. She wasn't a novice, but she felt like one today and it irritated her.

"Mer," Derek's voice brought her out of her reverie. "It's going to be all right."

"I hope so," she said, turning to him. "I feel inadequate right now. I feel like an intern who is still learning and it's bugging me."

He couldn't help but smile a bit as he replied, "We are still learning about how to eradicate these tumors."

She rolled her eyes at him, causing him to chuckle. The sound eased her frustration and fear. "I just want this to work. I want to save him."

"Me too," he said and leaned down to place his lips softly on hers. It was intimate and strangely erotic to kiss one another and not touch in any other way. They were both scrubbed-in and ready for surgery. When they pulled apart, they smiled at one another. "Ready?"

"Yes," she answered and walked beside her husband into their O.R. Once they were ready to insert the IL2 drug cocktail into Darren's tumor, Derek turned to Mer and said, "Remember -"

"In sync," she smiled at him and nodded, knowing that he'd only reminded her yet again to ease her tension.

"Right, in order to give the maximum infiltration of the virus."

A moment later, Derek and Meredith both injected their syringes filled with the IL2 and virus into Darren's brain. Meredith couldn't take her eyes from the monitor showing the two percentages of injection and felt her heartbeat accelerate as she realized she was putting in more than Derek.

"Easy, slow down Mer," Derek said, and she glanced at him and straight back to the monitor.

"Easy," Derek said again, "slow down, slow down, slow down. Look at me, don't look at the machine." Something in his tone of voice gained her full attention. Their eyes met and she literally felt everyone and everything else in the O.R. slip away as she looked into his eyes and saw just how much he loved her. "That's it, that's it, that's it," he whispered softly, as if they were the only two people in the world. It was a moment that would be forever etched in both of their memories. Especially as they both glanced at the monitor and realized they had succeeded in injecting the virus in perfect harmony.

"The virus is in," Derek said in a normal tone and then turned back to Meredith. They both had teary eyes and grins as they gazed at one another. Speaking softly again, Derek said, "We're standing on the moon, Dr. Shepherd."

They laughed together and finished their surgery. At the end of it, Darren Covington was still alive, and his vitals were quite good, all things considered. Derek and Meredith walked down the hall together, holding hands and feeling very positive.

"He's still alive, Derek."

He is," he turned and grinned at his wife. Then, unable to resist, pulled her into the nearest vacant room with him. Their lips were locked together even before the door was firmly shut behind them. Derek pressed Meredith tightly against the door and she wrapped her legs and arms around him. They kissed and pressed close and tugged at the others hair until they were both breathless and on the brink of having sex right there.

"Patient," Meredith gasped, "we have a patient."

"I know," Derek said, pressing against her again anyway before letting her legs drop back to the floor. "Our patient needs monitoring but God, that surgery was -"

"Amazing," they said simultaneously and laughed before kissing one another again.

They broke apart as Meredith was paged to ICU where Mr. Covington would stay during recovery.

"I'll stay with you," Derek said. "We'll monitor him together. And sneak off for celebratory moments together."

"Such a tempting offer," Meredith kissed him lightly and quickly again before they stepped back into the hall. "Ian's been in daycare for ten hours, though."

"True," Derek sighed as they stopped at the elevator bank.

"You and Ian go home. I'll stay and monitor Mr. Covington. Just make sure you give Ian big hugs and kisses from Mommy."

"I will," he said and hugged her before getting on the elevator to go get their son and take him home. "Drive safe, Mer."

"You too," she replied and stepped on the other elevator to go up to ICU.

* * *

Four hours later, Derek was back at the hospital and looking for Meredith. He found her sitting in Darren Covington's now empty room with tears running down her cheeks. It hurt him to see her so torn up. "Meredith," he said softly from the doorway and she turned to look at him. "The spinal tap showed Encepelitis - the virus reverted."

"I know there's no way we could've predicted this," she said before her voice broke and a fresh wave of tears started to flow. "Derek, how much longer? How many more patients -"

"Hey, hey," he said, sitting down to gather her into his arms. "You can't do this to yourself, Meredith."

She nodded her acknowledgement and placed her head on his shoulder. Once she was mostly back in control, she sat up again and wiped away her tears."

Derek held up a bottle of champagne and said, "Kathleen is at our house with Ian. On my way here, I stopped to get this, for when we get it right. We will, we WILL succeed. We WILL save someone. And when we do, we're going to open this bottle of champagne and we're going to drink to Phillip Robinson and Darren Covington and all the other patients who helped us change the face of medicine." Derek reached out and took his wife's hand in his own and felt a bit of relief as she laced their fingers together and squeezed tightly. "We're going to celebrate. We're going to use this as our victory dance. Meredith," he said again, his own voice cracking a little. "We will, we're going to open this bottle of champagne."

She took a deep breath and nodded. She desperately needed to believe in what her husband was saying to her because right now - she just couldn't take another patient's death. Right now, she just wanted to celebrate life with the people she loved. She got up and said, "I believe you Derek, I do. Right now, can we please just go home? I need to hold Ian and crawl into bed with you. Okay?"

"Okay," he agreed and got up to stand next to her. "Let's leave the champagne in the fridge here."

"All right," she said and was amazed when she gave a small laugh. "Put a big 'Do not touch' post-it on it though, or some jackass will drink our victory dance.

"You're right," Derek said and gave an answering chuckle. They stashed their champagne, she changed out of her scrubs and they drove home together - to their son and their rejuvenating family time.


	97. Birthday Boy

_Chapter 97: Birthday Boy_

Meredith and Derek had more trial patients over the following six months. With each one, they knew they were closer to successfully eradicating the brain tumors and giving their patients a chance at longer and happier lives. Each patient who died was equally hard on them as Doctors and human beings. However, with Ian's first birthday upon them - they put work completely aside for a weekend and focused purely on family.

"I can't believe he is a year old already." Meredith whispered in awe as she and Derek looked in on their sleeping baby the morning of his birthday.

"I know," Derek replied, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him. He kissed the top of her head and asked, "Should we wake him?"

"I thought about it," she said and then turned her face to lean up and kiss her husband. "It's going to be a fun but long day for him."

"Come on then," Derek grinned and pulled his softly laughing wife out of their sons room and back to their own. They were kissing, rolling around in their bed and starting to get naked when they heard Ian talking in his bed. Derek nuzzled Meredith's breasts and groaned.

"He's great birth control," Meredith laughed and gave her husband a noisy kiss on the mouth. "Tonight, big boy."

He laughed and hugged her tight - knowing she'd keep her word about later that night. One of many things that made him happy about their marriage was that he and Meredith had never fallen into the 'too tired to have sex' routine. He knew that a lot of couples did - and could even understand why especially after a really long surgery or during the agonizing nights with a teething baby. "I'll start the coffee and have a shower while you and Ian have your time together."

Meredith was still breast-feeding Ian twice a day; in the morning when he awoke and shortly before bedtime. She knew that it was almost time to stop with the breast feedings altogether, but she was finding it difficult. She enjoyed the quiet cuddle time with Ian as much as he liked the milk. She and Derek had decided to continue with Ian's feedings for another month and then stop. They thought thirteen months seemed like a good timeframe. Plus, they were starting to talk about adding to their little family and giving Ian his baby sisters. Meredith wanted some time where her body was hers again; before going through another round of pregnancy and breast feeding.

"Happy Birthday, my sweet boy," Meredith said to Ian as she walked back into his room.

He pulled himself to a standing position in his crib and reached out for her. "Ma ma ma ma ma," he said and melted her heart in a big puddle.

"Oh, how I love you," she told him and scooped him up for a huge hug. "I wonder if you are going to be neat with your cake today or just pound on it."

Ian babbled away to his mom while she changed his diaper and zipped him back into his pajamas. Then they sat in the glider while he drank happily and quickly. After drinking both sides, he sat up in her lap and babbled again as he patted her face.

"I think you know today is special. Let's go see Daddy."

The mention of Daddy made Ian squeal with delight and wiggle off of Mer's lap. Then he reached up to her with his mini-Derek smile. She reached down to take his little hands in hers so he could practice his walking down the hallway. As soon as they reached the living room and he saw Daddy, that was the end of that. He let go of Meredith's hands and slid to the floor to speed-crawl across the floor, babbling excitedly.

Derek grinned at the sight of his son and got up from reading the newspaper on the couch to scoop his son off the floor. "Good morning Birthday boy," he said and kissed the little boys cheek. "You smell like Mommy and milk." he grinned as Meredith walked over to kiss them both. Then she said, "Coffee first, then I want a shower, too."

They spent a leisurely morning together after she finished her shower. They took turns reading the newspaper and children's books aloud. They had breakfast together and then sat together on the floor to build with blocks and race little toy cars. At eleven they started decorating for Ian's party and putting the food out. Shortly before everyone was due to arrive, Derek grabbed Meredith and kissed her again. She laughed and said, "I remember a time - not too long ago - when you and I were dreading kids birthday parties."

Derek laughed and said, "Now we're throwing one."

"The first of many," she said. She turned to nuzzle his cheek. "What do you say about us trying to give Ian a sibling in a few months?"

He laughed and tried to whisk her down the hallway. "I say practice makes perfect."

Meredith kissed him thoroughly when the doorbell rang. She laughed and stated, "We'll practice later." Then they both scooped their son from his playing on the floor and went to answer the door.


	98. Clinical Surgery and First Steps

_Chapter 98: Clinical Surgery and First Steps _

Ian stood up straight and seemed to ponder taking his first step at just over fourteen months old. Derek was thrilled that he had been home to see it. However, he was equally relieved when Ian just crawled rapidly toward him after falling on his laughing butt. He didn't want Meredith to miss such a milestone. He didn't want to miss it either, but he figured she'd be really hurt if she missed their sons first steps. The clinical trial was getting to her again and she had been very testy and emotional for the past couple of weeks. Derek didn't even want to contemplate Meredith's exact reaction to missing Ian's first steps toward becoming a walker. Even if her reaction would be understandable.

Picking up his son, Derek said, "We'll save the attempts at walking for when mommy is here with us. Okay pal?"

"Ma ma ma ma," Ian chanted happily and placed a wet kiss on his dad's cheek.

"Yes," Derek chuckled, carrying Ian to his nursery for a change of diaper and clothing. "I love mommy too and I don't want her to cry over missing your first steps. So, we need to be together when you become an even bigger boy."

Ian gave Derek a very serious look, as if he understood exactly what his dad was saying to him. Then he gave his big, happy smile and said, "Ma ma, da da."

He smiled at his son and rubbed the top of his head - which actually had hair now. There still wasn't all that much of it but at least it was there. It was Meredith's color and the ends had a tiny bit of curl to it. Ian didn't say da da as much as he did ma ma so it always made Derek feel a surge of emotion and thankfulness upon hearing it. He was still very aware of how close he'd come to an alternate, miserable life. He was so glad that he had taken the chance with Meredith.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee," Ian's loud sound that they figured meant himself, interrupted Derek's pensive mood.

"Yes, and Ian," Derek acknowledged. "Let's finish getting ready and go see mommy at the hospital."

There was a constant stream of chatter between father and son as they got ready for their day and drove to the hospital. Meredith met them outside of the daycare - as either did at the beginning of each day. "Ma ma ma ma," Ian said excitedly and reached the moment he saw her.

"Hi sweetie," Meredith said and held him close to her. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath of his clean, baby scent. When she opened her eyes again, she looked at Derek. He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Hi Mer," he said, knowing by her expression that it hadn't been a good morning for her. Now he was even more thankful that he didn't have to tell her that Ian had taken a step. Please Ian, Derek thought, wait to walk until mommy is home, too. They spent their customary time together in the daycare with Ian. When they left, Derek took Meredith's hand in his and said simply, "Tell me."

Meredith looked at him and gave a tiny smile as she squeezed his hand in hers. It still amazed her sometimes how well they knew one another; it was comforting and reassuring.

"We have two new clinical trial patients."

"Yes," Derek nodded. "Beth and Jeremy."

"They're young, Derek," she said, and her voice broke just a tiny bit. She didn't say anything else until they were inside his office and the door was shut behind them. "They're only seventeen, Derek. And," she said, holding up a hand when she thought he was about to speak. "They know one another."

"Oh," he said, surprised by this information. "How?"

"They were a part of a cancer support group."

"Were?"

"Beth and Jeremy are the last two alive."

"Crap," Derek muttered, pulling Meredith to him. He could understand how this was already difficult for Meredith. Hell, it was difficult for him, too.

"There's more," she said into his chest.

"All right," he said, bracing himself as he pulled back slightly to look at her face.

"They're in love with one another. Beth's parents don't seem too thrilled about it and Jeremy has no one. He's completely on his own at seventeen years old. On top of all of this, our clinical trial is being shut down as of midnight. We only have clearance to operate on one of them."

Derek was stunned speechless. He pulled Meredith with him and sat down on the couch. After a couple of silent minutes, he said, "Fuck that."

"My sentiments exactly," Meredith said and gave him her first genuine smile of the day.

"I'm serious, Mer. These kids deserve a god damn chance. We're operating on both of them before midnight."

"All right," she said calmly and then leaned in to kiss him. She placed her right hand on his cheek and her lips upon his as everything settled down inside of her.

"All right?" Derek asked, leaning back from her. "Just like that?"

"Just like that," she nodded. "I thought I was going to have to talk you into ignoring the messed up mandate and operating on them both. I'm glad that we're on the same page."

"We usually are," he said and kissed her again. "You do realize we could lose our jobs or licenses -"

"We won't," Meredith interrupted adamantly. "Beth and Jeremy are going to be the two we finally save. Then everyone is going to want to know about our clinical trial. Webber won't fire us for making medical history. And," she said, seeing the hesitation on Derek's face. "If I'm wrong - then I don't want to be a part of a community that would turn its back on two kids in need."

"We're going to get it right," he said confidently; more in love with his amazing wife than ever before.

"Yes, we are," she agreed with a smile. "Would you like to meet Beth and Jeremy now?"

"Yes," he replied and changed into his scrubs and lab coat right there in his office. Meredith watched him and smiled flirtatiously. "Don't look at me like that right now," Derek stated.

"Like what?" she asked innocently.

"Like what?" he repeated and laughed. He pulled her up by the hand and kissed her once again. "You can put all those dirty thoughts into action later tonight. When we're on a successful surgery high."

"Two successful surgeries," Meredith said as they left his office.

"Two," he agreed and captured her hand in his as they walked to the elevators.

* * *

Meredith took Derek to meet Jeremy first. Jeremy wanted to know when he could see Beth. "I have to see her again. I know her parents aren't thrilled with the fact that Beth and I love one another but we do. I have to see her again. Before my surgery," he said imploringly, begging them both with his eyes to understand.

"We'll make sure you see her," Derek said.

"Thank you," Jeremy said simply but gratefully.

As they walked to Beth's room - Meredith reached out and silently laced her fingers with her husband's. His abundance of compassion was only one of many reasons why she loved him so strongly. They spoke to Beth and her parents about Beth's surgery. Afterward, Beth said, "I want to see Jeremy."

Meredith took a breath to reply but Beth's mother interrupted. "I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"There's nothing wrong with them seeing one another. In fact, it could be quite helpful to both of them - considering they were in the same support group."

Beth's parents changed the subject by asking more questions about the surgery their daughter was about to undergo. All the while, Beth looked somewhat annoyed. When Meredith and Derek left to schedule the O.R. time for both surgeries - they both sighed audibly but said nothing. They didn't need words to know that they were both once again emotionally involved with their patients. Many doctors would see the emotional empathy as a flaw, but they did not. Derek sighed again and said, "I think my ego might just be a bit too big right now. Maybe -"

"Your ego is just the right size," Meredith said, smiling at him and grabbing his hand.

Derek couldn't help but grin back but he was still having a moment of uncertainty about doing the surgeries for Beth and Jeremy.

"We are the best hope they have," Meredith said to her husband. She was well aware of where his thoughts were heading. Squeezing his hand, she continued softly, "I'm scared too. I do not want to lose either one of them. I want to celebrate their lives with you and crack open that champagne. But we have to try first. We can't give up."

"We're not giving up," he said resolutely. "I'm just," he trailed off.

"Ready for the clinical trial to be complete?"

"Yes," he nodded. "Terrible, huh?"

"No," she replied with a shake of her head. "Not terrible at all. I feel the same way. I want more time with you and Ian; more time spent together as a family. I believe in what we've been doing with this clinical trial but I am ready to move on."

They smiled at one another and then went their separate ways to prepare for the surgeries and do some other work and check on other patients they each had.

A few hours later Meredith and Derek performed Jeremy's surgery. Afterward, they checked on him together and were pleased that he was still alive. Even if he hadn't regained consciousness as yet.

"He's still alive," Meredith said softly, her voice full of cautious hope.

"He is," Derek agreed, smiling at her and feeling the same hopefulness. "Come on, let's go tell Beth together."

"All right," she replied and rolled her head on her shoulders. "Then let's go see Ian."

"Definitely," he grinned and captured his wife's hand in his as they went to give Beth the good news.

* * *

When Meredith and Derek walked into the operating room - Beth was still awake. She wanted to talk to them before the anesthesiologist put her under.

"Is Jeremy awake?" Beth asked immediately upon seeing them - one on each side of her.

"Not yet," Meredith replied gently.

Beth nodded at Meredith and then looked straight up at the ceiling. She looked scared and brave at the same time. She swallowed and asked, "Is he alive?"

"Yes," Meredith and Derek answered in unison.

"Okay," Beth said, her voice cracking as tears filled her eyes. She took a deep breath and said, "If I don't make it will you please tell my parents and Jeremy that I love them?"

"Yes," Derek replied, his voice just a little hoarse.

"You'll tell them," Meredith said and reached down to take Beth's hand in hers. "We're not giving up on you so you can't give up on yourself. All right?"

"Yes," Beth nodded, first at Meredith then at Derek. "Just in case though; I need to know that they'll know I was thinking of them."

"Okay," Meredith said and received a small smile from Beth. They continued to hold hands while Derek gave the nod for the anesthesiologist to administer the meds to put Beth to sleep.

Derek studied Meredith until she looked up from Beth and into his eyes. "Are you all right?" he asked softly so only she would hear.

"I'm scared," she admitted to him, just as quietly.

"Me too," he said and reached over to touch her gloved fingers with his own. "We're going to save her so she can deliver her message on her own."

"Yes," Meredith said, feeling steadier. She smiled at him and he did the same in return. Then they went to work in order to save Beth's life.

At the end of the surgery Beth, like Jeremy, was still alive. She was moved to the post-surgical room next door to Jeremy's. An hour later Meredith and Derek walked out of Beth's room after checking on her and speaking to her parents.

Meredith tried but couldn't suppress a yawn. "You should get Ian and go home," Derek said, rubbing her lower back. "You had to come in earlier today. I'll stay and monitor them for a couple of hours."

"All right," Meredith said after a couple of silent moments. She wanted to stay and keep an eye on Beth and Jeremy with Derek. However, she wanted to get their son and take him home for a cuddle and playtime even more. "I'm going to pick up a pizza on the way home."

"Of course you are," Derek chuckled.

"Laugh all you want brain man but I know you'll be heating up a couple of slices when you get home."

"That," he nodded in agreement and grinned, "and cracking that bottle of champagne to share with my wife."

"Let's do that once they're both awake."

"All right," Derek agreed and leaned down to kiss Meredith. "I'm going downstairs to see Ian and get him ready to go."

"Thanks," she said. "I'll be down soon."

Derek spent some time with their son while Meredith checked on a couple of her other patients, updated their charts and changed into her street clothes. When she walked into the nursery, Ian squealed and wiggled down from Derek's lap - where he'd been listening to a story. Ian started to crawl to Meredith and then stood up, looked back and forth between his mommy and daddy, then laughed as he took three slightly wobbly steps before falling onto his butt.

Meredith reached out and picked up Ian to hold him tightly to her. She shared a huge grin with Derek - who was grinning just as hugely at her. He walked over and hugged his wife and son.

"Were those his first steps?" Meredith asked Amy, the woman who worked in the hospital daycare.

"Yes," she replied with a smile. "He's been standing up and balancing himself a lot today but those were his first actual steps."

"Yay," Meredith said softly, and Derek chuckled. "Good job Ian," she said and kissed his cheek.

"He was standing up this morning too," Derek admitted. "I'm so glad he took his first steps with you here, Mer."

"I'm glad we were both here," Meredith said and hugged her boys again. Then she got Ian's bag and signed him out of daycare. Derek walked them to her car and put Ian in his car seat. Then he kissed Meredith again and said, "I love you. Drive safe."

"You too," she replied and kissed him again. "I love you," she giggled and kissed him yet again. "Our son walked just now."

"I know," Derek laughed and placed one more kiss on her lips.

"Come home soon," she said. "We'll celebrate."

"Sounds good. I wish I could come now but it'll probably be in about an hour or so."

"I know," she said and got in the car. Derek leaned into the car because he wanted to kiss her again. "See you soon," she said, and he shut her door then she drove away.

Derek went back into the hospital to check on Beth and Jeremy. He also made sure to tell anyone he who would listen that Ian had taken his first steps. Just a little over an hour after saying goodbye to Meredith and Ian - he was on his way home to them. And he was thrilled because he had more good news to share with his wife.


	99. Beth and Jeremy's Recovery

_Chapter 99: Beth and Jeremy's Recovery_

The good news Derek had to share with Meredith was that Beth and Jeremy's tumors were shrinking. However, neither had woken up by the time he left the hospital.

Derek and Meredith had the following day off and spent it in a leisurely fashion with Ian. Ian wobbly stood to his feet a couple of times and took more steps but mostly he still wanted to crawl. Each time he walked they got quite excited for him - which made him giggle, clap his hands and immediately fall to his butt.

Meredith and Derek each took a turn calling the hospital to check on Beth and Jeremy - once in the morning and once in the evening. Each time - they were a little sad because neither had regained consciousness yet. That evening, after Ian's bath and bedtime, Meredith asked, "Do you think they're going to wake up?"

"I hope so," Derek replied carefully.

"I hope so too," she retorted, "but I'm asking you what you really believe right now. Did we save them or just prolong the agony in every way?"

He sat down on the couch beside his wife - after pouring them both a glass of white wine - and put his arm around her. He took a drink of his wine and thought about her question while gently rubbing her shoulder. Finally, he sighed softly and said, "I believe we saved them, Mer. Their tumors have shrunk, their vitals are steady. It's just a matter of time until they wake up. We can't give up on them now."

Meredith had some of her wine and pondered the words he'd just spoken. Then she lay her head on his shoulder and gave a soft sigh of her own. "You're right. I just want them both to make it, Derek. Not just because it would make our clinical trial a success either. I'm emotionally attached, and I really want to see Beth and Jeremy go on to live healthy and rewarding lives."

"I do too, and they will."

"I hope you're right."

"I'm always right," he said cockily and made her laugh, which is exactly what he'd intended. They finished their wine and then went to bed together. All thoughts of saving lives and other stresses were forgotten as they leisurely made love to one another.

A week after their surgeries - Beth and Jeremy still had not regained consciousness. Meredith walked into Derek's office and stated, "I put them in the same room together."

Looking up from his paperwork, he slightly grimaced at the look of determination and slight despair on his wife's face. His first inclination was to hold her and offer comfort. He didn't think that was what she wanted at the moment though, so he channeled that urge and simply asked, "Why?"

"When I was an intern there was a set of premature quints in the NICU. And God Derek," she said and gave in to a maternal shudder at the thought of sick babies. "You name the problem and those poor babies had it. After a while though, there were two that should have been getting better, but they weren't. Karev - he had Bailey for his Resident also - had the idea of putting the two babies into an incubator together to co-sleep. The improvement in both of them was astonishing and immediate."

"I've heard of babies of multiple births thriving while in close contact," Derek said with a nod. "Beth and Jeremy aren't twins though; hell, they aren't even related."

"I know," she sighed, but her tone was adamant, "but they love one another. And Derek," she said and reached for his hand, "you and I understand the power of love. Beth and Jeremy love one another, and they were in the support group together. Their tumors have shrunk to nearly nonexistent but still, they sleep. I truly believe they will thrive by being close to each other. If I'm wrong -"

"You're right," Derek interrupted and grinned at her.

"Of course, I am," Meredith replied and grinned back.

An hour later, Beth woke up. Her parents cried jubilant tears of relief. Meredith and Derek gave her a thorough check up and couldn't help but smile happily at her, especially when she showed them that she had regained mobility of her hand. "Jeremy?" she asked, glancing over at his still unconscious form.

"He's doing well," Derek said.

"All right," Beth nodded sleepily.

Meredith and Derek left the room and stepped into the nearest stairwell. They hugged one another tightly. "You're brilliant," he said and cupped her face in his hands before kissing her softly on the mouth.

"I am," she giggled when they pulled slightly apart, "but tell me again."

"You're brilliant," he said seriously. "And I love you more today than I did yesterday."

"Oh," she sighed, surprised that the sweet, honest words made her heart accelerate. "If you didn't have to go pick up Ian - I'd drag you to an on-call room now."

"Really?"

"Really," she nodded and leaned up to kiss him thoroughly. Derek wanted to crush her body to his and get her naked right there in the stairwell. Instead, he slid his hands under her shirt to her bare skin and continued kissing her. A few moments later, her pager went off and they reluctantly pulled apart. "Go get Ian," she said. "I'll see you both at home in a few hours."

"All right," he agreed and kissed her lightly once more. "I need a moment alone, though."

Meredith glanced down and giggled. "I think you need a cold shower, Dr. Shepherd."

"Funny," he chuckled, "very funny."

She gave a little wave and left her husband in the stairwell to answer her page. Derek took his minute alone and then went to change and get Ian from the hospital nursery. He wondered if it was too soon for a family trip to Maui and decided to talk to Meredith about it later.


	100. Time to Celebrate

_Chapter 100: Time to Celebrate_

Meredith pulled into the garage and went into the house to see Derek and Ian. She'd had a long day but surprisingly, wasn't tired at all. It was January and the holidays had been fun and exciting, but she was glad they were over. She was also glad that she and Derek had the next two days off. It would be so nice to have the uninterrupted family time together. Plus, she thought as she went into their quiet, toy-cluttered house, she had something important she wanted to talk to Derek about. She dropped her purse and her briefcase on the couch and glanced at her watch. It was only six o'clock. Where were her boys?

"Derek? Ian?" she called, walking down the hall. Ian's room was empty and there was no evidence that bath time had occurred. Thinking they might be on the deck outside - she went toward her room to change her shoes. She stopped abruptly in the doorway and grinned.

"Hi," Derek said and smiled at her.

"Hi," she replied and looked around their room. He had flickering candles everywhere and their bottle of victory dance champagne was chilling. All he was wearing was worn blue jeans with the top button undone. "We're celebrating."

"We are," he nodded. "We saved Beth and Jeremy so it's time to toast to them and all the others. Ian is at Kathleen's."

Meredith's pulse leaped in anticipation. She walked slowly to her husband and wrapped her arms around his neck as she leaned up and placed her lips upon his. They kissed one another until they were both breathless. Then Meredith took a couple of steps back from Derek. He arched an eyebrow in question, and she pulled her black sweater over her head and tossed it away. Then she unfastened her dark blue jeans and shimmied them slowly over her hips and down her legs. Derek's eyes became passionately hazy as he drank in the sight of his wife stripping for him. He chuckled when she giggled and said, "I forgot my boots."

"I'll get them," he said and knelt down before her to efficiently peel off her boots, socks and jeans. She steadied herself by holding onto his well-defined shoulders. When he was done, she started to remove her wispy black panties and he stopped her with a shake of his head. Then her legs grew shaky as he stayed kneeling before her and softly kissed and licked the inside of her thighs. Derek moved his face to her vagina and inhaled deeply. He loved the smell of her arousal and had a strong sense of primal male pride over causing it. He looked up and saw her watching him - her gorgeous eyes filled with undisguised lust and need. He kissed her through her panties and grabbed her butt as she swayed against him. He chuckled once again and asked, "Are you all right, Mer?"

She shoved her fingers in his hair and pulled - the way she knew he liked it. "You know exactly what you're doing," she replied, slightly short of breath.

"Should I stop?" he teased.

"No."

"I should," he said and got up from the floor to walk away from her.

Meredith stared in shock at her husband's back. She was about to protest when she had a different idea. She quietly went to their bathroom and brushed her teeth. She was rinsing her mouth when he leaned in the doorway.

"I was kidding," he said.

"I know," she said and hid her smile in the hand towel as she wiped her mouth. "Don't worry about it," she continued, meeting his eyes in the mirror. "Let's just go to bed."

He raised his eyebrows and walked over to stand behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and started kissing and lightly nipping her neck. He pressed his erection - still confined in his jeans - into her and moved his hands to cup her breasts. Her nipples hardened and he could see the areolas darken through the wispy material. He pinched them, a little harder than usual, and caused her to gasp in surprised pleasure. She arched her back and rubbed her butt up and down his erection. He groaned and ran the fingers of his right hand over her vagina - on the outside of her panties.

"You're wet."

"Yes," she moaned.

"I thought you wanted to sleep," he said, starting to move his hand away.

She grabbed his wrist and pushed it back to her panties. "Don't you dare stop."

He laughed but it was abruptly cut off when she reached back and between their bodies to shove his jeans down and rub her panty-clad rear against his throbbing penis. He kicked his jeans away and slipped his hand inside her panties and slid two fingers deep inside her pulsing wetness. She gasped and rocked her lower body. The motion rubbed him with her butt and herself with his fingers. He ran his thumb in slow circles over her clit and watched as well as felt her come apart in his arms. He continued rubbing her and she was a quivering mass of flesh in his arms.

Derek let go of Meredith just to pick her up again and carry her to their bed. "I love you," he said, laying her down and yanking her panties off of her as she threw her bra aside.

"I love you too," she panted and opened her legs to him as he thrust deeply into her accommodating body. "Derek," she moaned and squeezed him tightly within her. "Roll over."

He did as she said and she sat on top of him. They both groaned yet again as she wiggled to take him even deeper inside. Then she looked down into his cobalt eyes and began rocking her pelvis against his in slow, circular motions. She kept her eyes on his and increased her speed once she knew he was getting close.

Abruptly, Derek reached up to wrap his arms around her and flipped them back over. He laced his fingers with hers and held them above her head. He kept his eyes on hers and thrust, slow, long and deep. He kept with this pace and built both of them back up slowly. They were holding one another and kissing softly when they came together in shuddering, gasping, sweating release. They immediately fell into a contented sleep.

A few hours later - they awoke very hungry. While Derek made pancakes, Meredith got orange juice for both of them and took a deep breath.

"Something wrong?"

"No," she replied and smiled at him. "I just," she trailed off and bit her bottom lip.

"What is it, Mer?"

"We're growing out of our house."

"We are," he agreed immediately.

"Okay," she said, surprised at his easy compliance to her statement.

"Why are you surprised?"

"Well, this was your home before Ian and I -"

"It's just a house Mer," he interrupted with a shrug. "Granted, we've started an amazing life here but the house itself isn't what matters to me. You and Ian are what matters."

She let out a deep sigh and hugged him tightly. "I love the land."

"So do I."

"Do you want to add on to this house or build a new one elsewhere on our land?"

"Do you have a preference?"

"Yes," she nodded, "but I want your answer first."

Derek looked around as he flipped pancakes and then stated, "Let's build a new house. As you said, this was my house before," he shrugged. "So, let's build our house together."

Meredith giggled and kissed him all over his face and pressed her body tightly to his. "I was hoping you'd say that. Maybe we can get in to see your architect this weekend."

"Mmmm," he kissed her back and pulled her tighter to him. "Keep saying thank you like that and dinner will be put off again."

"Okay," she said, slipping her hands under his shirt.

Derek laughed and turned off the burners before picking up his happy wife and carrying her back to bed.


	101. Good News Keeps Coming

_Chapter 101: Good News Keeps Coming_

Meredith walked into the kitchen one morning in February to find Derek on the phone and Ian sitting in his lap eating a banana. She gave him a questioning glance as he said, "She just walked in - I'll tell her now. Bye."

"Good morning," she said and leaned down to kiss both her husband and her son. "What was that about?"

"That was Richard," he replied, grabbing her hand and pulling her down to kiss her on the mouth. They both chuckled as Ian made little kissing sounds while chattering Mama and Dada.. "Good morning," Derek said to Mer and kissed her again.

Meredith kissed Ian and got a warm cloth to clean his sticky fingers and mouth before picking him up for a huge hug. "What did Richard want?"

"To tell us that The Annals of American Neurosurgery wants to publish our clinical trial."

"Really?" she exclaimed with her glowing smile.

"Really," he confirmed with a smile of his own. "We also got a call to say that the plans for our house are complete and ready to be picked up."

"It's a day for good news. There might be another piece of good news to add to this day."

"What?"

"Come with me," she said and carried Ian to the living room. She set him on the floor with his much-loved blocks and said, "Mommy and Daddy will be right back."

Derek looked a little confused as he followed his wife down the hall. "You know Ian is just going to follow us, right?"

"Of course," she giggled, "but this will be quick."

"Meredith," he said and chuckled. "I'm all for quickies but -"

"Not that," she interrupted with a laugh and went into their bathroom. A moment later she reappeared, held up a box and said, "This will only take a couple of minutes."

Derek's mouth fell open in surprise and then he pulled her into his arms. "That's a pregnancy test."

"it is," she nodded against his shoulder. "After you left the hospital last night - I realized that I'm a little over a week late for my period."

"Well, take it," he said pulling her toward the bathroom. She did just that and less than two minutes later they were both staring at the stick.

"Mama, Dada," Ian said as he walked into their bathroom. Meredith started laughing really hard and she and Derek both held out their arms to Ian. He went into them and patted his mommy on the cheek as she continued to laugh. "Mama," he said again and kissed her cheek. This made her start to cry.

"Hey," Derek said, rubbing her back. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," she said around her tears. "I want the baby. I'm just - reacting. Do you want the baby?"

"Of course," Derek said and sighed quietly. It was time to brace for round two of the pregnancy ride. "You're going to be a big brother, Ian."

Meredith calmed down rather quickly but continued to hold her husband and their son to her. After a couple of moments, she said, "I really do want them, Derek."

"I really want then too, Mer."

"They are due a month after Ian turns two."

"Yes," he said and gave a small laugh. "Do you really think we should say she and her right from the beginning. What is the baby's really a boy?"

Ian wiggled to be put down and they obliged. Then Meredith leaned on the sink and replied, "You and I both know they are girls. Your dad said so."

"Yes," Derek said and smiled at her. He pulled her back into his arms and said, "One little girl with the middle name Ellis - after your mom."

Pulling away just enough to place one hand on her stomach, Meredith whispered, "I love them already."

"It was the same with Ian."

"It was," she said and giggled happily. "I told you it was a day for good news. I'll call later today and make an appointment with Dr. Chu but I figured that our baby girls due date is October fourth."

They went about their morning as usual and left the house in separate vehicles. Even though the news of the morning was great and happily well-received; both Meredith and Derek were thinking about how things really did change abruptly and take you by surprise. Even things you were planning - like babies and a new house - were still a surprise when they became a reality.


	102. The Girls Are Beautiful

_Chapter 102: The Girls Are Beautiful_

Meredith's second pregnancy went a lot smoother than her first. Of course, she did have morning sickness (in the middle of the day for nearly eight weeks) and mood swings but it was just overall better the second time around. For the sake of formality, they found out they were indeed having their little girls at nineteen weeks into the pregnancy. Most of their friends and family were so surprised that they had been right about their genders from the go. Of course, Miranda and Kathleen accepted with ease the fact that some things, parents just knew. Meredith and Derek had decided to keep his dad's divine information to themselves. It was poignant, personal and something they wanted to keep within their little family.

The one thing that was absolutely the same with both pregnancies was the fact that their daughter didn't want to come out any more than their son had. October fourth came and went without one single contraction. Meredith was more than ready to have their little girls mentally; and physically her body had begun to prepare. The Little Shepherd girls simply weren't ready to leave her warm little cocoon.

"How are you feeling?" Derek asked as he rolled over in bed to wrap his arms around Meredith on the morning of October seventh.

"I feel pretty good," she replied and tried to arch her lower back to ease the pressure she felt there. "I'm glad you talked me into taking the last couple of weeks of this pregnancy off. It's been really nice just spending the time with you and Ian and doing the last minute stuff for their arrival."

"You've been relaxed and peaceful," he said as he began rubbing her lower back for her.

"Oh God," she sighed gratefully.

Derek chuckled and moved to kiss her cheek. "That almost sounds like a sex moan," he whispered into her ear.

"Keep rubbing my back like that and it might be."

"Hmmm," he tried to sound unaffected but he absolutely would not turn down the opportunity to make love to his wife. She'd been really tired lately and their sex life had taken a bit of a back seat. He understood why but he was definitely missing their intimacy. He also knew the first few months after their girl was born would be somewhat dry; so if his lovely wife was in the mood he would take her up on the offer. He just wouldn't ask her for sex right now.

Meredith giggled and made the effort to turn over and face him. She reached up to trace his face with her fingers and mimicked him, "Hmmm? I give you an opening for sex and you give me hmmm?"

"You didn't give me an opening," he protested, almost afraid to hope. "You said 'maybe'. That is not an opening, that's teasing."

She chewed her bottom lip contemplatively. Then she pushed him to his back and carefully climbed on top of him. "Allow me to be clearer," she said and peeled off her sleep shirt.

He grinned and then pulled her gently back down to lay on her side facing him. He leaned in to kiss her and took his time about it. Derek drew her lips into his mouth and traced their shape with the tip of his tongue. He feathered his fingers down her neck and shoulder, causing goose bumps to erupt on her skin. They took their time loving one another and then Mer fell back into a content sleep while Derek went to take care of Ian.

* * *

The family of three - five including the little girls in Mer's tummy - spent a relaxing day together at home and on their land. They walked over to their new house - which was nearly complete. They'd been hoping to move into it before the babies' birth but that wasn't going to happen. The construction was taking longer than they had thought it would.

"I can't believe we'll be moving with a tiny new baby," Meredith sighed.

"At least we don't have to live amidst the chaos of the construction," Derek replied and kissed her cheek.

Laughing, she said, "So true, smarty pants."

"Smarty pants?" he asked and laughed hard.

"Well," she said and rolled her eyes. "I can't say what I'm really thinking with our very smart and chatty little boy listening."

"Me!" Ian shouted, causing his parents to laugh.

* * *

They had a picnic on the deck of their house; having it on the ground somewhere simply wasn't an option for the overdue Mama. Meredith watched with tears in her eyes as Derek patiently played catch with Ian. Then she went inside for a nap while her boys continued to play outside.

Meredith had her first pangs of labor at six that evening and by eleven she and Derek were in a labor and delivery room at Seattle Grace. Ian was with Kathleen at her house.

"They're coming a lot faster than Ian did," Meredith panted after a particularly painful contraction.

"Yes," Derek nodded and pushed his wife's hair off her sweaty face. "Mer, you're only at seven centimeters. You can still have the epidural."

"No," she said and shook her head vehemently as another contraction wracked her petite body.

Derek held her and helped her breath through the pain. He stood by his promise to support her childbirth choices, but it nearly killed him to see her in pain. He was so damn thankful that this was happening quickly; even if it felt like it was taking a damned eternity.

Finally, at 1:05 a.m. on October 8th, their first little girl was born, Jocelyn Ellis Shepherd. Five minutes later at 1:10 a.m., Amelia Elizabeth Shepherd made her grand entrance. Both girls came out with a full head of dark brown hair and screaming their lungs out. Dr. Chu immediately placed them on Meredith's stomach, and they stopped crying. Meredith - who was still crying - wrapped her arms around their daughters and looked up at Derek. "They are here and so beautiful."

"They are" Derek agreed, with tears in his own eyes. He kissed Meredith on the mouth and placed his hand on their daughters' back. "Hi girls," he said and placed a kiss on her tiny, wet cheek. "We're so happy you're here."

The nurse gently took the babies from Meredith in order to weigh and measure there and do their APGAR testing. The babies started screaming again and Meredith and Derek laughed. "They are opinionated already," Derek said in awe. "Just like their Mommy."

"Good," Meredith said with a sleepy smile as she looked from the babies to her husband.

"You're beautiful Mer and you did awesome. Go to sleep. The girls and I will be here when you wake up."

Derek cradled his snugly swaddled daughters in his arms, and they stopped crying. They both looked up at him and his heart flipped into the deep end of love. He knew they couldn't see him just yet, but he was certain that they knew who he was. "I love you Jocelyn and Amelia," he whispered as his baby girls followed their Mommy into slumber. Derek could not take his eyes off of his little girls. He couldn't wait to tell Meredith, Ian and all of their family and friends about them. For now, he rested - while he could - with his wife and daughters.

* * *

Meredith woke up in a private family suite on the maternity floor. She was still so tired, and her body hurt but she heard her little girls whimpering.

"Jocelyn? Amelia?" she said and turned to see her daughters in the bassinet beside her hospital bed. The babies' whimper turned into a little cry at the sound of their mommy's' voice. "I'm here my loves," she said soothingly and sat up slowly in an attempt to get her babies. She was hit with another wave of fatigue and pain that made her groan. "Derek," Meredith called, seeing him asleep on the futon-like bed that was provided in the family suites.

The girls' cries grew louder and they were wiggling their swaddled blankets from around them.

"Mer," Derek replied groggily.

"We need your help," she said

He immediately sat up, blinking his sleepy eyes open. He moved to pick up the girls. "How are you feeling?" he asked Meredith.

"I feel like crap," she replied honestly. "I'm sure they are hungry."

"At least, Amelia is still sleeping." Derek said.

"We gave them an ounce of formula to hold her over while you slept," Derek said as he put Jocelyn down to fix her blanket. This irritated their little girl greatly and she wailed at the top of her lungs.

Meredith gave a small giggle as she sat up and got as comfortable as possible in order to breastfeed Anna. "She's already giving you a piece of her mind, Daddy."

"Yeah," he said and grinned as he picked her up and cradled her close again. Her wailing went back to a whimper and he said, "She already knows we love her."

"Of course she does," Meredith said, reaching for her daughter. The little girl latched right on to her Mommy and began sucking gently but insistently and her whimpering stopped.

Derek stood by the side of the bed with one hand on Meredith's shoulder and lightly stroked Jocelyn's cheek with the other. He was completely in awe over the sight of his tiny daughter nuzzled up and getting nourishment from her mommy. He couldn't take his eyes off her face; her currently closed but dark blue eyes, little button nose and chubby cheeks working hard to get her milk. His heart was pounding with so much love he knew it had to be audible.

"Hey," Meredith said softly, reaching up to cup his cheek in her hand. "Are you all right?"

He moved his gaze from Jocelyn to Meredith and then realized he was crying. He turned to kiss Mer's palm and replied, "I'm fine." Then he leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. He pulled back and then kissed her again, lingering this time. "Thank you," he whispered when he pulled back this time.

Her heart jumped with a flood of love and other emotions. Tears filled her eyes now. "Great," she tried to joke, "now I'm crying."

"Meredith," he said again, very seriously. "I love you. Thank you, for not turning away from me in the beginning and for giving us a life together. Thank you for Ian, Jocelyn and Amelia. I love them more than -" he stopped and just shrugged.

"I know," she whispered around the lump in her throat. "I love them and you just as much." She yawned, still tired after giving birth. Then she smiled and switched an equally sleepy Jocelyn to her other breast. "Since it's only four in the morning and Ian isn't up yet- let's get some more sleep. In a few hours you can go get him from Kathleen's and bring him here to meet his little sisters."

"Yeah," Derek nodded and grinned hugely. "He's going to be so protective over them."

"It's going to be so great watching them grow up together."

He nodded his head again and then just continued to marvel over their little daughter as she finished drinking her milk. When Jocelyn was done, he called for pain medication for Meredith. He changed the baby's diaper and held her close while his wife used the bathroom and got comfortable in bed again. Then he put Jocelyn back into her bassinet so they could all sleep for a few more hours. Derek couldn't wait until their son met his little sisters.

* * *

"Waaaaaaa!" Amelia started to cry.

"Daddy is coming Mia." Derek sighs tiredly

Derek goes over, picks up Amelia, and started feeding her a bottle of breast milk.


	103. Ian Meets His Sisters

_Chapter 103: Ian Meets His Sisters_

Meredith was taking a shower when Derek came in and said, "The girls are still sleeping and Lexie, Mark, and Cristina are kind of annoyed with us."

She pulled the shower curtain aside and smiled at him. "We knew they would be but they're just going to have to get over it."

Derek grinned in agreement at his wife and then sighed when his cell phone rang again. Looking at the display, he said, "It's my sister."

Meredith just smiled and shut the curtain to finish her shower.

"Good morning Kathleen," Derek said and then paused as his sister spoke on the other end.

"Yes, 1:05 this morning Baby A, Jocelyn Ellis weighs seven pounds - five ounces and is eighteen inches long. Baby B, Amelia Elizabeth came at 1:10 a.m. and weighs eight pounds one ounce, also eighteen inches long.

He paused again to listen to his sister and then chuckled. "Hey Mer, they love their names."

"I'm glad," Meredith replied with a smile in her voice.

A couple of moments later, Derek said, "All right, that does make sense. Thank you. Just call me when you get to the lobby and I'll come down for Ian."

"She's bringing Ian to us?" Meredith asked as she turned off the shower and opened the curtain.

"Yes," Derek said and took the thick, fluffy towel and wrapped it around his wife. "She knows we want Ian to meet the girls first. She was great about waiting until you and Ian had your time together after he was born."

"That's right," Meredith nodded as she enjoyed having her husband dry her off and then hold her in his arms. She yawned deeply and groaned as her body gave a twinge of protest.

"Pain?"

"Some," she admitted, "but this a lot less than the c-section. I think I just need to get dressed and lie down."

"All right," he said and turned to go check on the twins. "Will you be all right if I shower and change while we wait for Ian?"

"Of course," she smiled. "If I do need anything, I'll just ring for a nurse."

About an hour later Kathleen called from the lobby and Derek went downstairs to get Ian. Meredith had just finished feeding the twins and was sitting up, holding them close. She looked down into their little face and smiled. "You have my mouth and Daddy's nose. That's the opposite of your brother. His name is Ian and he's on his way up to meet you, Jocelyn and Amelia. You're all going to love each other to pieces. Of course, you are siblings, so Daddy says you're going to fight a lot, too. I have to take his word on that. I have Aunt Lexie and Aunt Molly, but I didn't grow up with them. Anyway, girls what I'm trying to say is that you'll always have your brother, girls. Of course, you have Daddy and I too, but you and Ian will be in school together and you might have some of the same friends. You're always going to be able to count on your brother and that's something really, really special sweetie. You're always going be able to count on one another as siblings. Take care of each other."

Meredith looked up as the door to their suite opened and Ian walked in ahead of Derek. He looked like a regal little boy with a serious expression upon his face. "Where's my baby sisers?" he asked immediately.

"Right here," Meredith replied with a small giggle and nodded down at the babies in both her arms. Derek helped Ian up onto the bed next to his mommy and sisters and he and Meredith shared a smile.

"Ian," Derek said, "these are your baby sisters Jocelyn and Amelia. Girls, this is Ian -"

"Big broder," Ian announced proudly and importantly.

"That's right," Derek nodded as Meredith giggled again.

Ian leaned down slowly and kissed his sisters' cheek. Then he kept his face close to both of theirs and whispered, "Hi girls."

Ian didn't say much after that. He just cuddled up to his mommy and sisters. He couldn't seem to take his eyes away from them. Derek took some digital pictures of his wife and children and then set the timer to get a family shot. After a while, Meredith said that she needed to use the bathroom. Derek took the girls from her and she carefully moved from the bed and stood up.

Ian looked away from his sisters to Meredith and said, "No go Mommy."

"Oh," Meredith said and shared a quick glance with Derek. "I'm not leaving," she replied carefully to Ian. "I just need to use the bathroom."

"No go," he said and frowned stubbornly.

"Come here," Meredith said and reached for Ian.

"Careful," Derek said as she lifted their son from the bed. Knowing that Derek was right, and she still needed to be careful about lifting him too much, Mer placed Ian on his feet on the floor. She held his hand and walked over to the bathroom with him. "I'm going in here for a minute and I'll be right back."

"Pwomise?" he asked, sounding just a little scared.

It made Meredith a little sad that her little boy was feeling insecure about the changes in his world. She got down to his level and looked into his eyes, "I promise, Ian. I'll be right back and you'll be right here with Daddy and the girls." She wrapped her son in her arms and hugged him close.

Derek gently placed Jocelyn into her bassinet and went to crouch beside his wife and son. He wrapped his arms around them both and kissed Ian's cheek. Then he pulled back to grin at Ian. "Want to help me change Jocelyn's diaper?"

"Can I?" Ian asked, a touch of excitement in his voice.

"Of course," Derek said and helped Meredith back to her feet. Then he took Ian's hand and walked to the bassinet. He opened the drawer and said, "I need a diaper."

Ian grabbed the tiny newborn diaper and laughed as he held it up. "Smaw."

"Yes," Derek agreed, "it is small. Your diapers used to be that small."

"Nuh uh," said the little boy with an indignant shake of his head.

"it's true," Derek laughed. "Okay, when I ask for it - you give me the diaper to put on Jocelyn. Sound good?"

Ian nodded and stood on his tip toes to watch intently as Derek unswaddled Jocelyn and pushed up her tiny pajamas before removing her diaper. When he used the cold wipe on her she made a little fuss.

"Daddy, no," said Ian and pushed at Derek's arm. "Jocie no wike."

"You're right," Derek said proudly to his son. "I need the diaper now so we can wrap her back up and keep her warm."

Ian quickly handed off the diaper and kept watch through the rest of the quick change. "I hod Jocelyn and Amelia," he said once Derek had her all wrapped up and cuddled close to him again.

"Of course you can hold them," Meredith said as she emerged from the bathroom. "You have to be really careful with them, though. All right?"

Ian nodded vigorously and held out his arms for one of his little sisters.

Chuckling, Derek said, "You have to sit down first. Then you have to be still and careful while you hold them."

"Up," Ian said, patting the bed. "Up, hod Melia first!"

Derek gave Amelia to Meredith and then put Ian up on the bed and placed pillows around him for some added security. Then Mer gently placed Amelia into Ian's arms and showed him how to carefully but gently hold his sister.

"Hi Melia," he whispered in awe, staring into her face. Then he leaned down and kissed her cheek. Meredith and Derek - who were standing on each side of the bed, watching their children - grinned at one another. They laughed as Ian started kissing Anna's face over and over. The little girl started making a little fuss. "All right Ian," Derek said, and reached to take her from him.

"No," said the little boy, "my siser!"

"Yes," Derek nodded carefully, "she is your sister but I need your help."

Ian looked at his daddy slightly suspiciously and Mer had to hold back a giggle. "I need you to come with me to get the aunts and uncles and friends so they can meet Jocelyn and Amelia, too. As the big brother you should be the one to introduce your little sister."

This made Ian grin and he happily agreed to let Derek take Amelia from him. Once Mer was comfortable in bed again, he handed her their daughters.

"That was great thinking," she whispered into his ear and kissed his cheek as he settled the girls into Meredith's arms.

"Yeah," he grinned and kissed her mouth loudly. "I have a good idea from time to time."

"Go get our family," she said and rolled her eyes at him.

Laughing, Derek took Ian to do just that. "Daddy's a goofball," Meredith said to the twins and kissed the baby's cheeks. Then she closed her eyes and enjoyed the few minutes of peace and quiet before the excited family and friends began to arrive.


	104. A New House and Date Night

_Chapter 104: A New Home and Date Night_

The construction of the Shepherd's new home was complete at the end of the first week of November. It only took two weeks to have the entire house painted and decorated the way the family (okay, mostly Meredith) wanted it. This part ran very smoothly because everything -from paint colors to furniture, art and other accessories - had been decided upon and purchased before the girls were even born. Once Derek and Meredith realized that their house wouldn't be complete until after their little girls had arrived, they'd been on a mission to get everything done beforehand. After all, they were going to be moving with three small children and didn't want or need any extra stress added to the process.

Once the house was complete and in ready-to-be-lived-in condition - Derek insisted on dropping Ian, Jocelyn, and Amelia off at Kathleen's for the evening. Meredith giggled when her husband made the announcement that the kids were going to play with Aunt Kathleen.

"What?" he asked and grinned.

Leaning over to kiss him on the mouth, she simply said, "I love you." It certainly hadn't escaped her notice that he'd been rather persistent (almost annoyingly so) with the construction crew about finishing their house. She'd heard a couple of the crew members speaking and they thought it was because the baby had been born. Of course, that was part of it, but Meredith knew it also had a lot to do with the fact that Derek wanted to be in the new house once their six-week-wait was up, which it happened to be. However, if he wasn't going to admit to wanting sex then she was going to go along with whatever he had planned.

The very last of their furniture had been delivered that day and Derek had seen to the details of it while Mer stayed home with the kids. So technically, she hadn't yet seen their new home in its completion. She had to admit that she was anxious to do so.

"Did you pack enough milk?" Derek asked as Meredith shut the little cooler bag that was filled with frozen breast milk for the twins.

"Yes," she answered and barely suppressed the giggle that wanted to erupt. Her husband really was adorable although he'd hate that description. "Kathleen has formula," she grinned at Derek's scowl, "just in case a couple of ounces are necessary. Obviously Ian will just eat whatever they're having for dinner."

"All right," he said and turned away from her but not before she saw him smile. Fifteen minutes later they were all in the car driving the relatively small distance to Kathleen's house. After the requisite family visit - which Derek hurried along - they gave their kids hugs and kisses and went to the front door.

"Enjoy dinner," Kathleen said to Meredith.

"Thanks," she said. Once they were in the car, she asked Derek, "Why does Kathleen think we're going to dinner?"

"We are."

"I thought we were going to our new house."

"We are."

"In that order?" she asked and grinned as he gave a little boy scowl.

"Relax," he said and grabbed her hand, threading their fingers together. "Just enjoy the evening."

"All right," she sighed and leaned her head back on the headrest and closed her eyes. She had to admit that it did feel good to enjoy the silence and the ride in the car without worrying about a sippy cup or hungry children or dropped toys. Not that she would change a thing - she was simply enjoying the peacefulness. When the car slowed, she opened her eyes and saw that they were indeed at their new house.

"Stay here for a minute," Derek said after pulling into the garage and turning off the ignition.

"I might be asleep when you get back."

"Yeah right," he chuckled, knowing her curiosity would prevent that from happening.

A short time later he came back and opened her car door for her. Taking her hand, they walked into the house together. Directly off of the garage was a mudroom and then a powder room. Next they stepped into the gourmet kitchen that had dark cherry cabinets, granite countertops and stainless-steel appliances. The kitchen also had an eating area for them and immediately opened into the family room which created a great room effect. It was an open but still cozy-family floor plan. There was a formal dining room that would easily fit all of the family during holidays.

"Since Kathleen is having Thanksgiving at her house - does that mean we're doing Christmas?" Derek asked his wife.

"No," Meredith replied with a happy sigh and leaned in close to put her head on his shoulder. "It seems that we are off the hook this year. Something about having a newborn and moving being enough for right now. Molly's doing Christmas and Lexie and Ryan are doing Easter. We're in the clear until the summer."

"What happens in the summer?" he asked with a puzzled expression.

"Fourth of July," she laughed.

"We don't have a big family event for that."

"We are this coming year," she laughed. "My sisters and yours seem to think we should have a big summer party at that time and break in our deck and amazingly kid-friendly backyard."

"Okay," he chuckled. "Remember how we both looked for excuses to avoid the big family events because the chaos was terrifying?"

"Was terrifying?" she asked and made him laugh again. "It still makes me vaguely uneasy. We just had to get married, have kids and jump right into the middle of the chaos bandwagon."

He leaned down to kiss her. He kissed her until she wrapped her arms around him and held on tight. Then he pulled his lips from hers and said, "I wouldn't change a thing."

"Neither would I," she admitted. "Let's see the rest of the house.

A home office for Meredith and Derek to share and a guest suite completed the first floor.

They had built their home to suit their family now - but also to grow with them as their children grew up. There was a basement level that was half movie theatre and half playroom/downstairs family room. Their extended family couldn't wait to indulge in the movie theatre, but they figured Ian, Amelia, Jocelyn, and their future friends would love it, as well.

The upstairs of their home had the twins bedrooms, three bathrooms and a home library. At the top of the stairs, Meredith laughed and said, "Our kids are already spoiled."

"Why?"

"Their own bathrooms," she replied, as if it should have been so obvious to him.

"Ahh," he said and grinned. "It seems overly indulgent now but trust me, once they're teenagers, you'll be thanking me for insisting that they have their own bathrooms. But the twins are sharing at least."

"So you say," she replied with a good-natured roll of her eyes.

They stepped into the library first and her teasing turned to a rush of love and sentiment as she saw the happiness on her husband's face as he scanned the shelves that were half-filled with books. She knew he was looking forward to filling the rest of the shelves. "I don't think I realized just how much this library meant to you until right this moment," she admitted softly. "I mean, I knew it was important to you, but this makes you really happy."

"It does," he quietly replied with a serious nod of his head. "After being able to see you and our children, being able to actually read a book again -" he stopped as his voice cracked. There were still times - even after more than two years of having regained his sight - that he got emotional.

Meredith wrapped her arms around him and just held on. He returned her embrace and kissed her softly on the lips. Then he smiled and pulled her out of their library. "Come on, let's see the rest."

Ian's room was painted a medium shade of blue and had a baseball mural on one wall. The twins' room was light purple and had a mural of fairies and flowers. They went to Meredith and Derek's master suite next and she gasped as she stopped in the doorway.

* * *

Their room was painted a dark sage green that elegantly complemented the new chocolate brown bedroom furniture. There were French doors that led to their own private deck. The room was glowing with candlelight and had discreetly placed rosebuds in little vases throughout. It was sophisticated and romantic without one bit of outlandishness. And it quite simply turned Meredith's gasp into a long sigh of pleasure. "Thank you," she whispered, turning to Derek with a smile.

He just smiled in return, leaning down to cup her face in his hands and kissing her softly. They laughed when her stomach growled loudly. "I guess I don't have to ask if you want dinner," he teased and took her hand to lead her outside to their deck.

There was a little bistro table set for two. It had a white linen tablecloth, two votive candles, two covered plates of food and chilling champagne.

"When did you do all of this?"

Derek simply smiled and shook his head as he pulled her chair out for her. He was not about to tell her how he'd done all of this - he just wanted her to relax and enjoy it. Once she sat down, he leaned down to kiss her cheek and then sat across from her at the table. Pouring them champagne, he glanced at her and said, "One glass isn't going to hurt the girls."

"No, it won't," she agreed and felt her heart swell with the love she always felt for him. Even in the midst of romance and seduction, he thought of their family; knowing that she would have been thinking of the girls, as well. Then, knowing their children were safe and the champagne really wouldn't hurt them - Meredith put their kids out of her mind and focused only on her husband. She held her glass out to his and said, "In case I forget to say it later, thank you. I love you."

He laughed and clicked his glass to hers. "You're welcome. I love you, too."

Their dinner was simple but absolutely delicious. Chilled Pacific salmon, fresh crab, lobster, shrimp and scallops sat in a bed of organic greens and was drizzled with a balsamic citrus dressing. He also had a basket of bread and butter. They ate in relative, comfortable silence; simply enjoying being together.

Once they were done eating, Derek took Meredith's hand and pulled her around the table to sit in his lap. With his arms around her waist and their heads tucked close together, they watched the sunset from their new home.

"It's beautiful," Meredith said as the sky glowed orange and pink and slight bits of purple that were the beginnings of night. The green pines that surrounded their property gave a lush fragrance that added to the atmosphere.

"Very beautiful," he agreed intently.

"The sunset," she laughed, knowing he was looking at her, "not me."

"You," he insisted and squeezed her tighter to him. Then, he surprised her when he got up and placed her back in the seat.

"Hey -" she protested and he cut her off with one of his bone melting kisses.

"I'll be right back," he said and left her to go inside. A few minutes later, she shivered and decided it was time to go inside and find out what her wonderful husband was up to.

"Derek?"

"Hold on," he called from their bathroom and made her laugh. The call of nature was always strong and did not care what else happened to be going on.

Meredith went into their wonderful walk-in closet and took off her shoes and socks. It was nice to see all of their things in it and still have room left over. It might just be fun to go shopping for new clothes for their new closet.

"Mer?"

"Right here," she said and stepped out of the closet back into the bedroom.

He laughed, "You were in there indulging your closet lust again."

"I was," she giggled and walked over to him. "It's wonderfully big," she practically purred and then wrapped her arms tightly around him. His laugh was cut off by her lips on his. He fought the powerful urge to rip off her clothes and take her where they stood. Instead, he placed his hands gently on her hips and returned her kiss with enthusiasm. When he felt her fingers grab the hem of his sweater and pull it up, he started moving them toward the bathroom. Within the hand full of steps that it took to get there - they each had the other naked from the waist up.

Meredith's eyes simply filled with tears as she looked around the bathroom. It was - like their bedroom - aglow with candles and had well-placed rosebuds. The tub was also filled to the top with a bubble bath.

"Too much?" Derek asked as she blinked away her tears.

"No," she said and took his hand in hers, surprised to hear just a touch of nervousness in his voice. "I love everything about this evening, but you didn't have to do all of this, Derek."

"I know," he replied, pulling her closer to him to unfasten her pants and push them down her legs. "I know you don't expect any of this Mer and that just makes me want to do it all the more."

"Crazy," she giggled with a shake of her head and kicked her pants out of the way, reaching for him.

"No," he said, evading her hands. "You first."

"I'm practically naked."

He grinned, grabbing her by the edges of her panties and yanking her to him. "Practically," he said and ripped the thin material off of her, "is not the same as totally naked." Then he shoved his hands in her hair and kissed her hard. He kissed and nibbled at her lips and tongue until she was moaning and breathless. Forcing himself to tear his mouth from hers, Derek was pleased to see that her eyes were simultaneously dazed and delighted.

He opened a drawer, pulled out a large barrette and proceeded to try and put her hair up. When he frowned and grumbled on the third attempt, Meredith giggled and took the barrette from him. She twisted her hair up and clasped the barrette in what seemed to him as one movement. He grumbled a little more and made her laugh a little more. Then he stepped back and ran only his eyes slowly over her. It made her skin tingle and made her want to squirm. It also made her just a bit self-conscious. She couldn't help but cross her arms over herself.

"Hey," Derek protested, clearly surprised by her action. "Why are you trying to cover up?"

"Just because," she mumbled; knowing she sounding a bit like a petulant kid and knowing he wouldn't go for that reply.

"Why?"

Meredith sighed loudly and forced herself to put her arms back at her sides. "Because I feel a little insecure about my body. All right? I know it's stupid and I don't want to ruin our night with my whiny crap. So, can we just take a bath now?" She turned and took one small step toward the bath before she felt his hand grab hers. She resisted the urge to sigh again and just looked at him.

Derek grabbed at his own stomach and said, Look, I have a belly from this pregnancy, too. So what? We'll both lose the weight just like we did with Ian."

"That's true," she said, "but not entirely my point."

"What is the point?"

"Do we have to do this while I'm stark naked? You know what? We don't even have to do this at all. I told you it's stupid!"

He arched an eyebrow and then quickly shed the rest of his clothes. He stood before her and crossed his arms stubbornly. "Now we're both stark naked. Get to the point."

Meredith wanted to be mad but found that she really couldn't. Instead, she tilted her chin and matched his stubborn attitude. "I wish you could have seen me before we had our kids. Even when I lose the baby weight - my body is still different than it was before."

He nodded and the stubborn shifted to relaxed and understanding. Then he reached out to pull her to him. He held her close for a few quiet moments. Then he traced his finger over the two Hawaiian flip flop charms on her necklace; one with a sapphire for Ian and the other with an opal for the twins. "Do you want to wear this in the bath?" She shook her head no and he unfastened the chain from around her neck. He took the wedding rings she handed him and - adding his own ring to the bunch - set them on the bathroom vanity before stepping into the tub. Then he reached out his hand to hers and helped her into the bath with him.

Sighing in contentment, she said, "It still feels really good. The water must have been scalding."

Derek made a little sound of acknowledgement, wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned down to kiss the side of her neck. "I love you, Mer."

"I know. I lo -"

"I'm not done," he interrupted.

"I love you too," she finished anyway and made him chuckle.

"Listen," he said insistently, and she nodded. "I couldn't see you before we had kids, but I still knew your body."

"I know -"

"Shh," he said and put his left hand over her mouth. He trailed his right hand up her thigh. She laughed a little in her throat, even as her pulse jumped with the thrill of being in a submissive position to him.

"So your body is a little bit different now." He spoke with intensity and ran his hand from her thigh to her hip. "You're a little fuller here," then moved his hand across her navel and up. He released her mouth and used both hands to cup her breasts, "The shape here is a little different," he said and then pinched her nipples. He grinned against her shoulder and whispered in her ear, "Yes, your body is different, but I know it as well now as before."

"Uh huh," she agreed, her mouth dry with lust. She pushed back against him and was pleased to hear his own gulp of desire as she pressed against his hard erection.

Derek clamped down on the need to turn her around and bury himself deep inside her. He had to remind himself that it'd been six weeks and he needed to go slow for her.

"I don't want slow," she said, feeling him tense up and knowing - just absolutely knowing - that he was trying to be slow and gentle for her.

"Mer," he said, his voice a little hoarse. He kissed her neck and ran his hands gently up her back as he thought of baseball stats.

"Derek," she sighed, reaching behind her and grasping him in her hand. She stroked his rigid length and grinned, "You want me."

"Of course," he muttered, wondering how she had taken control so effortlessly. He had to remove her hand from around him before this was over before they even really got going. "Wait," he said, prying her fingers away.

"No," she said with a shake of her head. She grabbed his right hand and placed it right on her vagina. "Make me cum, Derek."

His brain just shut down. He just could not say no to his wife. He found her clit and stroked it softly with his index finger. She gasped and arched her back to press closer to him. He stroked her a little harder, a little faster; absolutely needing to give her what she wanted; what they both wanted. He dipped a finger inside of her and marveled at the wetness already there. She gasped and pushed against him. "Derek," she demanded sounding a little frantic. He grinned and kissed her neck, her cheek; ran his free hand over her body. He alternated between sliding his fingers inside her and gliding over her flesh until she shattered in his arms. She thrust against him and said his name over and over. He held her while her breathing slowed back to an almost normal pace and then he grinned and asked, "Better?"

Meredith surprised him by saying, "Not quite." Then she carefully slid around to face him. She straddled his hips, grasped his erection in her hand and slid onto him in one long motion. He groaned, she sighed and smiled at him. "That's better," she said and squeezed him deep inside of her. "In fact, that's perfect."

She leaned forward to brush her breasts against his chest and kiss and nibble at his neck. She ran her fingers through his hair and kissed him; all the while remaining very still with him inside of her.

"Mer," he mumbled and grasped her hips once she finally swiveled them slowly upon him.

"Huh?"

"Faster."

"No," she teased. "I'm all right now. You took the edge off for me."

"Good for you," he grunted and shoved her almost all the way off of him before slamming back into her. The now tepid water sloshed over the side of the tub.

"Derek," she playfully admonished. "We're getting water all over the floor."

"Who the fuck cares," he ground out and slammed into her yet again. Done torturing him - and herself - she finally gave in and rode him fast and hard. They watched one another and touched every accessible place on the other as their wet bodies slapped ferociously together. She screamed his name when she exploded around him. And she thought he might have said hers too, but she was so consumed with feeling him cum inside of her that she wasn't certain.

They stayed in the cool water until she shivered in his arms. Then Derek got out first and grabbed towels to put on the floor so they wouldn't slip in the mini pool they'd created. He helped her out and dried her off with a huge and soft towel before drying himself.

"What?" he asked when he saw her smile and run her eyes over his naked body.

"I want you again."

"Is that right?"

"That's right," she nodded and looked pointedly at his already forming erection. "If you can handle it, of course."

She laughed at his scowl and turned to run out of the bathroom. He laughed and went to get into their bed with her. They made love again. They took their time now that the sexual edge had indeed been taken care of for both of them. Afterward, they slept wrapped together for an hour.

When Derek's phone alarm rang, he kissed a grumbling Meredith on the lips. "Stay here and sleep while I pick up the kids."

"Kay," she mumbled. "Be careful."

"I will," he promised, pulling on his clothes. Before he left, he kissed her and said, "I love you. We'll be right back."

"Love you," she said and was fully asleep again before he was even down the stairs; a happy and content smile plastered on his face.


	105. The Seventh Sense is Love (End)

_Chapter 105: The Seventh Sense is Love (End)_

Meredith woke up first on the morning of Jocelyn and Amelia's first Christmas. Derek had managed to get the day off and she was still on her maternity leave. So, they had the pleasure of spending the special day all together. Meredith immediately heard and turned off the alarm she had set the previous night. Derek stirred and grumbled irritable. "Shh," she said, kissing his shoulder and his stubbly cheek. "Go back to sleep." With a grateful sigh, he did just that. And she smiled happily as she got out of bed.

After washing her face and putting her hair up she checked on Ian and the girls. They were all sleeping peacefully so she went downstairs and started coffee. She realized she was humming a Christmas song as she gathered ingredients to make breakfast. This made her stop in the middle of the kitchen and scowl. When did she start humming Christmas songs? Yes, she had been learning them since her son was a baby - for the first time - very aware that Christmas was a special time of year. Still, he was asleep, and she was humming the goofy songs anyway. She really didn't know what the hell to make of it. She forced herself to mentally recite anatomy facts as she cracked eggs into a bowl for broccoli and cheese omelet's. She made bacon and orange juice to go with the omelets. Just as she was finishing, Jocelyn and Amelia started fussing. "Good timing," Meredith said with a smile and went upstairs.

"Hi Mommy," Ian said sleepily as he walked out of his room and saw her coming up the stairs.

"Good morning sweetie," she said and swooped him into her arms after stepping over the baby gate at the top. "Merry Christmas," she said and covered his little face in kisses.

"Mommy stop," he said amidst his giggles. "Jocelyn and Melia are hungry."

"I know, let's go get her."

"I'm hungry too," he said seriously.

"Me too," Derek said, stepping out into the hallway. "And I smell coffee."

"Daddy!" Ian squealed in delight and wiggled out of Meredith's arms to run to Derek. "You're home! Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas," Derek said and swallowed the lump in his throat as he gathered his son close. He smiled as Meredith winked at him and then walked into the girls' nursery. To Ian, he said, "I missed you."

"Missed you Daddy," he said, nuzzling into his dad's shoulder. "So did Jocie and Melia. They were afraid you wouldn't be here for Christmas."

"They were?" Derek asked, still amazed at how well Ian was able to communicate. "Even though mommy and I made sure you knew I'd only be gone for three days?"

"Well," he said and moved to look at his dad's face. "They are only babies, you know."

"I know," he replied and gently nudged Ian's head back to his shoulder so the little boy wouldn't see the grin he could no longer contain. Then he went into Jocelyn and Amelia's nursery and kissed his wife. "Merry Christmas, Meredith."

Both girls, who were having their diapers changed by mommy, let out the longest, most adorable and loud cooing sounds.

"Merry Christmas Derek," Meredith laughed and finished zipping the girls back into their footie pajamas.

"See Daddy," Ian said with all of the authority of a big brother. "I told you the girls missed you. I think Mommy did, too."

"Of course I did," she said, handing a wiggly Jocelyn to her daddy for a cuddle.

"Mommy?"

"Yes?" she asked, squatting down to his level because he sounded so serious all of a sudden.

"Why are the girls sleeping in here?"

"Umm," she said and then glared at Derek as he chuckled. He knew damn well that their daughter was in her crib because his horny ass had wanted sex when he'd gotten home at one thirty in the morning. Not that she'd objected of course but he could try and help right now rather than laugh. "I thought I'd see how the girls did in their cribs."

"Okay," Ian said, obviously still thinking. "But she went to sleep in your room last night."

"She did and then I put her in here after she ate in the middle of the night."

"Oh, okay," he said with a grin. "Can we eat now?"

"Yes," she said and breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

"Well done," Derek grinned as he helped her back to her feet. And Ian ran out into the hall.

"No thanks to you," she mumbled.

"He asked you," he said in good natured defense of himself. Then he pulled her close, whispered, "And I didn't hear any complaints a few hours ago." Then he took her mouth with his and kissed her lovingly. A moment later the girls whimpered the beginning of their hungry cries and Meredith and Derek pulled away from one another and smiled.

"Let's feed our children," she said and they all went downstairs together.

Ian gave a delighted gasp at the sight of the lit up Christmas tree with gifts underneath in the family room. He went running straight for it.

"Wait a minute," Derek said and handed both girls to Meredith.

"But Daddy," Ian said, jumping up and down and waving his arms excitedly at the tree, "presents!"

"They'll still be there in a minute after I bring us some food."

"But I'm not hungry anymore!"

"We are," Derek said to his son. "Just wait."

"All right," Ian said sadly and hung his head.

Resisting the urge to giggle at their little boys drama, Meredith said, "We'll find the gift you want to open first."

"Okay," yelled the little boy, happy again.

Meredith helped Ian to find the gifts that had his name written on them while Derek got coffee and food for them. He came back and sat next to Meredith and the girls - who were cradled in their mommy's arms gulping down breast milk as if they hadn't eaten in days rather than a few hours - and grinned at Ian. "All right open something."

They laughed as Ian tore through gift wrapping and laughed in delight at the treasure before grabbing for another package. They ate their breakfast and then insisted that Ian eat his before playing with his new toys.

"Can I open Jocelyn and Amelia's gifts?" he asked around a mouthful of bacon.

"You can help them," Meredith replied. "Don't talk with food in your mouth."

"Okay," he said, shoveling in some omelet.

A little while later, Meredith was nestled into the crook of Derek's arm on the couch. They were enjoying watching Ian open the girl's gifts for them. While Amelia and Jocelyn sat in their bouncy seats looking at two squares of shiny red wrapping paper in their hands and cooing at the twinkling lights on the tree.

"Merry Christmas," Derek said, handing Meredith a wrapped rectangular box.

"Oh," she smiled and reached onto the coffee table to grab another, bigger, wrapped rectangular box. She handed it to him and said, "Merry Christmas."

"You first," he grinned, setting his box on the other side of him on the couch.

Meredith tore the paper off with the same exuberance her son had shown and breathed a happy sigh at the sparkling gift inside the box. "It's beautiful," she whispered, carefully taking the platinum bracelet with channel set, princess cut diamonds from the box. "I'll wear it every chance I get," she whispered and set it over her wrist.

"Actually," Derek said, taking the jewelry from her, "you can wear it all the time if you want to." Then he grabbed her leg and pushed up her pajama pant leg to clasp the sparkling jewels around her ankle.

"Oh, an anklet," she said in delight and straightened her leg into the air to admire her gift.

Derek cleared his throat and said quietly, "I think you should wear only the anklet to bed tonight."

"I'll wear it to bed with your private Christmas present," she said and grinned as his eyes lit up with lust. "Tonight," she reiterated and reached across his lap for his gift. "Here."

"You seriously expect me to concentrate on anything else after your little private gift bombshell?"

"No choice," she said, knowing she was torturing him and loving it.

"Fine," he grumbled and ripped the paper from the box. He took the lid off and tossed it aside, removed the tissue paper and said, "Wow." A happy smile spread across his face as he pulled the cherry wood frame from the box. Looking out at him were his beautiful wife and their two adorable children. He couldn't take his eyes off the picture. Not even when he asked, "When did you do this?"

"A couple of weeks ago. The day Anna turned two months, actually."

He set the picture in his lap and leaned over to kiss her. "Thank you, Mer," he whispered, choked up. "I know it's just a picture -"

She silenced him with a kiss in return. Then she pulled back and rubbed his cheek. "I know what it means to you, Derek. I am grateful every single day for you and the family we've created together."

They kissed again and then leaned their heads together to look over at their children. They smiled as they realized that Ian was telling two nearly napping girls about their senses. "Three is taste, four is touching, five is seeing and six is knowing. Mommy and Daddy say we'll understand that later." The little boy leaned over and kissed his little sister on the cheek. Then he had his mommy crying and his daddy nearly crying as he said, "Merry Christmas, Jocelyn and Amelia. I love you. Oh yeah, Daddy says the seventh sense is love.


End file.
